Saturday 28 October 2017

Suicide Squad New 52 #6


Now I'm going to review Suicide Squad New 52 issue 6 with my new levels of hindsight. I have actually reviewed this issue before on my original blog shortly after it first came out and it's interesting to see what differences I have picked up.




The love for this particular cover has not changed one iota. Yes, it's still the stupid Suicide Squad outfit but compared to the last five covers... hell, this thing could sit next to a metaphorical Mona Lisa it's that much better than what came before it.

Two things though - they have her with brown eyes instead of blue (unsure if this is due to the lighting or colour error or what.) They also use the classic Harley Quinn solo logo on this cover.

I agree with my original comic.. the time skips are annoying AF. I get it, not enough pages to go into the whole backstory or how much time has passed but damn. We open with the Squad having just let 'Harley Quinn' slip through their net.

Lime and Light (two nobodies I originally had to Google) have a reason to fly... apparently. Why are Deadshot and .... (well they *say* it's Savant but being a fan of Gail Simone's Birds of Prey I reject this characterless clone) Savant levitating? Don't tell me they're jumping down from somewhere.. they're freakin' hoverin'.

 More art errors... Lime and Light keep losing or discolouring their arm bands and man, enjoy that bottom panel because it's just about the last time their faces look normal.

Going back to the time skip.. seriously.

Did the Squad manage to get to Gotham first despite leaving well after Harley's head start? Maybe if they were air lifted but we don't know how they got there. So were they lying in wait in an alley they just knew she was going to use or did they get lucky? Did that useless bastard back at Belle Reve/Reeve remove her bomb but add a tracker instead? I mean, give us something!

Deadshot and Savant have a pissing match with their guns, one of the twins apparently has webbed hands and LOL the editor's note about Lime and Light coming fresh out of Green Arrow's second issue... his last name is McQuiver! How the hell did I not see that the first time I read this?!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!


Monday 23 October 2017

Harley Quinn and Batman #2



Well here we are again. I didn't think I'd be reviewing this next issue because I didn't really like the last one. I should have liked it, but the thin plot, shoddy art, weird characterisation and the fact that it was a hastily shoved together prequel to the movie that just came out, which was itself a cash grab based off Harley Quinn's surge in popularity. 

That and there doesn't seem to be any point to this comic apart from look at Harley Quinn doing things.. oh look here's Poison Ivy and they're doing things without the Joker! In their classic costumes! See how we're sort of but not really the Animated Series again? Don't you love that? 
Are you happy now fans!? Be happy! Buy our merchandise!! 


Anyway, I'm not keen on reviewing this comic because so far it's been a let down but that said I can't be bothered putting up with the Hardly Quinn solo either so here we are.

Harley wakes up with a headache and in classic creepy Timm style decided to loose the pants but keep the socks.

Boy has she got an arse you could lay a butler tray flat on or what? Yikes!






She's in Poison Ivy's Hothouse Hideout... hmm, I wonder how long that name took her to think up?

She complains about the food being too protein heavy when a mysterious voice educates her about her own best friend's eating habits.

First of all... rude! Secondly...

In BTAS: we see her in a similar situation and providing food for Harley after they escape to a hideout. It's salad and vege.

It's only for a few days, Harl. 

In another comic, we see Pam has been hard at work developing her research. When some jerk stole it, he used it to make a cheap soy based burger additive. Was this Pam's original intention? To replace meat?

New creative team for Harley Quinn!


Guess what?


I have just heard that Conner and Palmiotti are officially off the Harley Quinn reins!

Woohoo!!

It's no secret that I was never a fan of their work. Yes, I did start collecting the issues when they first came out because initially I was overjoyed that there was going to be a different Harley Quinn than the mess we got in Suicide Squad.



The novelty of 'collecting' the multiple covers for issues that never felt.. quite right soon dissipated and I told my local comic store to take my pull list for that series and shove it - right up DC's keister. They said it was a little hard for them to do that being so far away but they've done a good job of keeping my comic depository clear of shit comics so there's that.

This Harley came across as super arrogant and up herself TBH


It also felt like while several storylines were being juggled... nothing really happened?
There was a surprising focus on Harley's professional life but this was soon sidelined in favour of her zany tenants, multiple hangers-on, Bat-cameos and all of their wacky wacky antics.

As well as that... it wasn't making me laugh.

The classic Harley Quinn solo series did that. Sure, some bits were hit and miss but for the most part there was a lot of humour whether it was visual sight gags, ironic humour, actual puns - you name it!
The calling card of the Hardly Quinn solo was an assault of scatological humour, over use of exaggerated accents, fourth wall breaking and a large amount of T&A.

Sometimes a few all at once. 

Critics said that this was DC's female copy of Deadpool and it's hard to dispute that except that Deadpool for the most part is funny (and has a coherent, funny movie too).
Just goes to show that when you take the girl out of the jester costume.. she gets less funny but for some reason the crowds are eating this drivel up.

So why are Conner and Palmiotti scarpering?


Sunday 22 October 2017

Is Harley Quinn a Mary Sue?



It's the name almost every writer and fan dreads to hear... Mary Sue.

It's a term used to describe a writer insert character... as in, this character is so blank it's an opportunity for the reader to insert themselves into the character's shoes and live out some brief wish fulfilment. It describes a character who has seemingly no flaws, who is loved by all and is so skilled or unusually gifted that it's kind of ridiculous.

Notably used, perhaps unfairly for mainly female characters. For example, no one bats an eye that a young Luke Skywalker - a dust farmer from butt pluckin' nowhere picks up the force fairly easily and ends up helping to bring down the Empire. Anakin had a similar story with a tragic ending but still rose to power pretty quickly. But if Rey does it - also from the same planet, at around the same age or maybe younger - she's a Mary Sue.

Luke uses his Womp Rat shootin' skills to take down a Death Star, Anakin is the only human good enough to build and race Pods...Rey uses her mechanical know how to fly the Falcon as good as Han and Chewie. All have a natural aptitude for the Force.
Why is it different?

In saying that, yes, there are still horrible examples of Mary Sue (or Gary Stu) characters out there. Probably the most famous one of recent times is Bella Swan from Twilight.



Saturday 21 October 2017

Harley Quinn: Our Worlds At War


October 2001
Harley Quinn's pal - Jimmy Olsen
"Our Fighting Forces"
Writer: Karl Kesel
Colours/Seperations: Ro Bleyaert
Art: Various
Aron Wiesenfeld pg1-8
Paul Grist pg9-17
Paul Chadwick pg18-25
Amanda Connor & Jimmy Palmiotti pg26-34
Steve Lieber pg35-38

Our Worlds at War was a cross over comic storyline that was mainly focussed on Superman and his ilk but also featured in the comics of Batman, Wonder Woman, The Flash, Green Lantern and several supporting characters like Harley Quinn. The plot revolved around heroes uniting to defeat Imperiex who was attacking the Earth. 

Honestly, I've only ever read the Harley Quinn issue and the Wonder Woman arc of this series but it's not hard to pick up what's going on in the one shots. Well, mostly. If you're keen to start reading the arc, here's some more information at Wikipedia about the issues and story line. 

Now, when I read the Harley Quinn issue I took little notice of the artists names because I figured I was reading a comic and not an autobiography but check it out... the people responsible for the horror that is Harley Quinn volume two and rebirth also featured in this comic. 

It's funny, because when I think of Amanda Connor and Harley Quinn her puddin' pop statue comes to mind, but not much else because I really thought she got the character with that statue.. but the comic she produces now shows otherwise. 

 Anyway, we open this comic with Jimmy Olsen in his space suit giving a bit of exposition. A bit? Okay, a lot. I can look past this though because given the story line is over several comics as I mentioned before and if you were like me and weren't keeping up.. yes, you need the exposition.

Good thing about Jimmy - he's the every man and he's at least funny to read. Nice bit of foreshadowing here - alone in an alien radio room wishing he'd run into some super heroes, or even a super villain.

He puts on a headset and gets a binary overload.
This is why we don't touch alien things, kiddies.

BTAS: Harley's Holiday Statues



In the mixed bag of joy that comes with Harley Quinn's 25th Anniversary celebrations, there is at least one bright, shining feature.

Not one, but two amazing statues based off the Batman: The Animated Series title card from an extremely Harley-centric episode titled Harley's Holidays, aired in 1994.

For those who aren't in the know, this is an episode from the third season. Harley is given a clean bill of health and celebrates by taking her hyenas for a spin. Yes, a spin. She is on roller skates before they were done to death. Honestly, if I had pet hyenas as well as good balance this is how I'd travel anywhere.

Anyway, while trying to buy a pretty dress - a small misunderstanding causes her to flip out and she ends up kidnapping Bruce Wayne's girlfriend Veronica in their car. So not only is Batman after her but so is Veronica's father... General Vreeland. Aaaaand because it can't be that simple....
Bullock from the GCPD is also on their tail as well as the smitten crook Boxy Bennett.

Monday 9 October 2017

Harley and Ivy meet Betty and Veronica #1

Oct 2017
Part 1 of 6
Writers: Paul Dini and Marc Andreyko
Artist: Laura Braga

What's the Story?


Free college tuition for all Riverdale residents?! That’s the plan-after the town drains the wetlands that lie between it and Gotham City and then builds a new campus. The only snag? A certain botany-obsessed super-villain.
When Poison Ivy enlists her bestie, Harley, to kidnap both Veronica Lodge, daughter of Riverdale’s most important citizen, and her friend Betty, she’s counting on some assistance-and the mayhem that ensues will probably work as well!
DC Comics and Archie are proud to present the adventure of a lifetime for all these best pals. Their hijinks are brought to you by the real-life team-up of Paul Dini (HARLEY QUINN) and Marc Andreyko (WONDER WOMAN ’77), with art by Laura Braga (DC BOMBSHELLS)!


What the Heck?

I'll be honest, when this solicitation was announced I was confused and pretty sure I wasn't going to actually review it because.. well, why?
Some of these recent cross overs just seem like complete balderdash, anything with Harley in it just seems to be a blatant cash grab and I don't know jack about the whole Archies thing. 

All I know is that there are two girls named Betty and Veronica - one's blonde and one's dark haired. They hang out and fight over a ginger named Archie. There was an awesome 'sugar sugar' song that came out of it ...... and that's all I know. Some other knowledge is vaguely tied in there too like Sabrina the Teenage Witch and Josie and the Pussycats being tied up in this lark. 
Apparently this whole Archies thing is an American rite of passage where everyone knows about it even if they weren't born in the 60's. 

Well... I'm a young British born Australian. A new audience for you. Market to me!

Let's do this!

So the original cover is actually nice and reminds me why Amanda Connor got popular in the first place. There's clearly a lot more effort here than her usual covers though. The girl's hair looks really well done, the vinyl seat is rendered really nice, the table reflecting the scene above is a good idea.. 
It's a bit disappointing that the girls have stick figure arms and it's still weird seeing Connor/Palmiotti's lobotomised love interest of Poison Ivy doing cutesy things.... I do have to wonder what it is they're actually drinking because it looks oddly mouldy on one side of the milkshake. Hardly's eyes are bugging out something fierce. Archie gets little to no attention and may not even have arms but that's apparently fine because he's a dude and no one cares what he looks like. 


Now the variant cover is by Adam Hughes and...
Okay does anyone else think that he's purely phoned this one in?

Harley's face looks to be in his style but the rest of her body looks like.. shit we're running out of time just draw anything out of proportion, it doesn't matter is she has no internal organs or a waist or a butt or anything...

To the right is an example of his work with Harley Quinn.
Notice anything different?


The rest of the girls in the line up look fine, they look human and well rounded enough to look healthy and right for their body types but damn, look at Harley's elbow and compare it to her stomach. It's almost as big. You know, I know there are plenty of jokes about Adam Hugh's detailed work making him run out of schedule but if that's the case.. ask him to do one for the first issue and use it in the second issue so it will be on time! Buuuut they won't because they want his star power. 

The only other issue I have with the cover is that someone has clearly taken inspiration from Rihanna for whatever Poison Ivy's got going on.

Naturally, I can't find the exact picture I'm thinking that I've already saw of RiRi that was like this but it's kinda like if these two photo's mated and then grew a severe attitude.





Sunday 8 October 2017

Harley Quinn: Fantasy Figures (Luis Royo)




In keeping with her multiple variations and extended wardrobes... when Yamato decided to release a Fantasy Figure of our dear Harley Quinn they couldn't do just one.

Oh my no.

No - capitalising on her money making potential there are several versions of this figure.

What I do like about this series is that they made the effort to make each of them unique, unlike, say the Christmas painted Bombshells statues where if you have one, you kind of don't need to shell out for the variant. Sure, some of them aren't majorly different but there is enough change that you could shell out for the whole set and you wouldn't look like an idiot.

The statue stats:
First released in 2015
10.5" 1.6 scale

18 x 13 x 11 inches (45.72 x 33.02 x 27.94 cm)
Made of resin (original, Arkham City, web exclusive) or PVC (Arkham Knight)

Sculpted by Shin Tanabe and imagined by renowned artist Luis Royo



This one is the original - she's on a giant beach ball in her Suicide Squad Volume 4 threads but sporting dip dyed hair like her Rocksteady Arkhamverse counterpart. Unlike Suicide Squad, this Harley Quinn is physically more like classic Harley Quinn in the way that she's still got a normal skin tone and just paints her face.

There's a nice amount of detail on this figure, probably more than anyone who worked on the Suicide Squad comics ever invested. There are defined shoulder blades, knee caps look realistic, her hands and fingers are good and the figure actually looks like she's putting weight on the leg she's sitting on.

Given the rest of the statues from the Fantasy Figures I'm extremely glad they didn't make Harley look ridiculously over sexualised or give her ginormous boobs and have her bend over a lot.


Her hair isn't exactly blonde here, more.. like that weird grey hair trend that seems so popular lately. The one detail that really.... really irks me about this statue is the damn shoes.


Saturday 7 October 2017

Retro Review: Harley Quinn #14 Bright Lights, Big City Pt 1

January 2002
Welcome to Metropolis

When we last left off, gal pals Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn were making their road trip from Gotham City all the way to Metropolis in order to avoid the chaos gunning for our sweet little jester's head. This cover is great - while I don't believe that's the Harley Davidson that Harley stole in the last issue it's kitted out in perfect Harley Quinn colours and looks great.
I like that they even have a personalised plate, and that they stopped for a bit of random graffiti. 


If you've ever watched the animated series, you'll know that Harley is a good, if somewhat erratic and dangerous driver. 
Here she shows that with gusto, driving into head on traffic while Ivy chastises her for it. 

Two things stick out here - Harley's defence that Metropolis has changed since she was here last (what, like amending basic road rules?) and the two country bumpkin tourists in the bottom panels. 

Superhero sight seeing. They're distressed because they came all this way and didn't even see Superman or the Daily Planet, and now they're lost. They do, however get their map stolen by a certain criminal duo which makes Elmer and Arleen's (oh, I see what you did there) day complete.





Sunday 1 October 2017

Batman: Arkham Knight - Batgirl and Harley Quinn #2

"Caged Animals" 2/2 2015
Writer: Tim Seeley
Pencils: Matthew Clark
Inker: Sean Parsons
Colours: Rob Schwager
Letters: Travis Lanham


Where we last left off, Harley Quinn had just let loose a tiger so in this issue Barbara runs away screaming about an angry wild animal loose in Gotham.

Well, yes, it's a wild animal but angry? It's probably friggin' scared because someone set it's cage on fire and now it's surrounded by new smells, people, noises.. and oh yeah, more fire.
Maybe I'm a bit defensive of my stripey kin but it seems wrong to just assume the tiger will try to eat someone because it's a tiger.

Barbara blames the kid for not giving it his... elephant ear? Is that what hip young Americans with Bat fixations call fairy floss these days? Anyway, she gives the kid to a random carny to look after (pretty trusting of her. Nothing against carnies but the next thing she says is that she has to stop a killer clown.. how does she know Harley's not associated with the circus?)

I enjoyed seeing how she decided to get hyenas as sidekicks. I don't know if I've ever read a sort of origin story for Bud and Lou apart from 'they're here, they're awesome, get used to it'.

Batman: Arkham Knight - Batgirl and Harley Quinn #1

"Caged Animals" 1/2 2015
Writer: Tim Seeley
Pencils: Matthew Clark
Inks: Sean Parsons
Colours: Rob Schwager
Letters: Travis Lanham


This comic is based on the Batman: Arkham Knight game series and opens with Batgirl cornering Killer Croc and his comical way of skipping leg day in a sewer. There's a sort of time skip where we don't get to see what happened before but Batgirl's in the gross water like substance so I assume it's not going well. 

Then Batman comes in and flashbombs Croc before kicking him in the face and telling Batgirl she's an absolute disgrace to him and was only going to get herself killed. She's like well I found this scaly jerk didn't I? Batman sticks to his parental guns - saying that she's been warned several times about getting in his way. 

Can you imagine someone saying that to Batman - especially when he started out? That would only make him more determined, yet he somehow thinks this angry speech will make Batgirl go home and burn her costume? Um, no. 

As it is, I'm pretty sure she flips him off. 


 Next we visit Arkham Asylum where it's completely miserable weather even though it was fine in the sewers.. well, a little too red in the sky if you know what I mean but I guess Arkham Asylum has a clause about certain weather outside for them spooky asylum shots.

Dr. Harleen Quinzel pleads her case for Joker's transfer out of the high security wing in order to better his mental health.




Sounds legit, right?

Not surprisingly, she's shot down by the board because they seem fairly competent at their jobs.


Suicide Squad New 52 #5




Alright, back to our nostalgic look at the first attempt at forcing this down our throats making Suicide Squad into a comic since the Ostrander days.

Well, there's a lot going on in the cover... but all it goes to show is that everyone in this prison is pretty darn fugly and these people really... really...REALLY can't draw sharks.

Remember that time Harley Quinn set up this awesome prison riot in order to cover her escape? No?
No, well, you don't see that at all. Which is kind of cool in theory but due to all the time skips and limited time spent on plot in this series - to me it just comes off as lazy.

Anyway, here's Deadshot killing a bunch of rando's who have the decency to only look a little shocked or annoyed about it.


Yo-Yo is in the background on the next page and his head is smaller than his feet or hands once he super-sizes... so admittedly I don't know much about this character and his skill set so either the artist sucks at proportion or Yo-Yo can conveniently alter his size on different parts of his body simultaneously.

 Waller comes on for a friendly chat about the mission - saying she's still not sure on who started this or why. All of the guards are in Z Block... for comparison the Squad is around E wing. So are they blocks or wings? Why is this comic so hard? Why are these guards so incompetent?

I mean, sure, all the inmates are super powered, super weird or super psychotic - but all the specified riot guards are contained in one area? If this facility is as long as the fucking alphabet, why are there not other divisions scattered around, or, you know, like any guards where they're actually needed?

Some of the more normal looking prisoners go to the hospital wing to take out some weakened enemies but meet Black Spider who must still be sick because he's vomiting out exposition about himself before he takes a lil' nap.


El Diablo almost goes the same way but the other prisoners are tired of hearing about back stories and not seeing them (much like recent cinema goers... hi-yoh!) so they take him out before he gets too preachy.

Look at this one guy's legs. I think it's the same guy anyway. One hairy ankle, one clean shaven ankle.

Now Waller worries about Harley Quinn while sending a wafer thin Yo-Yo to get King Shark from his drunk tank.
King Shark was on the cover doing actioney stuff but that's false advertising because he is resting his semi-aquatic butt cheeks doing absolutely nothing... apart from eating Yo-Yo.

In his defence... you really shouldn't put your face so close to a shark's mouth.






Waller takes out a scaly creep who wants her to get him off with good behaviour... not sure if he's serious or making a bad innuendo. Meanwhile Deadshot races to the guard tower to get the biggest gun he can find and then gets the plot twist shakes. Yeah, remember that nano-virus hoo-haa?
Well it's still slooooowly taking over his muscles instead of fully converting him. Deadshot is that asshole in every zombie movie who hides his infection. Don't the squad get health/body checks when the return?

Anyway, he screws up and falls from the guard tower but is totally not dead because main character.


Luckily, El Diablo uses that power that he used in the movie that everyone forgot he had in the comic because the comic was boring and forgettable.

He manages to torch everyone alive, save the day, impress Waller and get that funky Incredible Hulk style fashion going on.

Three hours later and Deadshot is in one of those suspended medical things from any sci-fi movie you can think of.

Waller knows about the virus and is working on it, Deadshot asks about the bomb even though it clearly should have gone off by now if it was still active. Why would Waller stand so close if it wasn't safe? Deadshot is brain-dead.





Out of the kindness of her heart, Waller honours their deal and arranges for a catch up with Deadshot's kid. Who looks Asian and is called Suchin. That's fine, but I'm certain she was a Caucasian kid when I last saw Deadshot's family in Secret Six.

She seems nice, but honestly, if this kid made a Wonder Woman (what does that even mean) and is then dumbing it down to do paints next.. I'd be speaking to this school for sure.
This kid also has like really pointy teeth. Is she going to be a plot twist villain? Where's her mum?
Have they changed the entire family again for no reason?

First he had a son (Eddie) that was killed for revenge story reasons, then he found out he had a daughter named Zoe (see above) the name was kept for the movie daughter (yet another race change for poor Zoe - although I'll chalk that one up to people changing roles to fit terrible actor Will Smith instead of vice versa. )



I could be wrong, maybe the new Zoe is Caucasian - but she sure don't look like her previous incarnation. Pretty sure she's part piranha in Suicide Squad.


She even looks different again in the Assault on Arkham movie, and here she looks like she's changed her eye colour and skin tone again.

Why does DC hate continuity so much?


Gah - anyway. Waller figures out it's Harley who's caused the damage because her guards did a head count. Um.. didn't El Diablo literally vaporise at least a couple of guys? Deadshot has his visit cut short and doesn't even tell his apparent daughter he loves her back. Not that she seems especially fazed by meeting her dad in this weirdo place.

 It's okay though, we totally know where she's going guys. She's got like ten million maps and appears to be driving with the windows down so they fly everywhere. Great, good work genius. Maybe Waller could follow your papery breadcrumb trail if it wasn't so obvious you were going to Gotham.

Jeez... she even wears a hat to be incognito in her clown hooker outfit after killing two guards with a Chelsea smile.
Who wrote this crap?

Bonus page:


Probably the only reasonably attractive Suicide Squad cover ever being previewed... right next to Jim Lee's terrible doom inspiring jerk off sketch.

Explain yourself Mr Lee! What the hell were you thinking?! And what the bloody heck is on her feet?! Your Hush Harley Quinn was really good.. how did you screw this up so badly?

If you read between the lines here, it does seem like the
editor is trying to ask for help/blame everyone else for Harley's inclusion/ask for more doughnuts without getting killed by the higher ups.










The Short End of the Jester Schtick

Every time something gets interesting in this series, they either decide to jump cut to somewhere else and just never go back to it or they just start explaining everything to death.

There's very little Harley Quinn in this issue because they're leading up to her big history reveal in the next two issues but with the way the other characters are.. and as much as I hate New52 Quinn - it's boring as hell without her in it. The nearest we have to an interesting character is friggin' Yo-Yo.

And for the record, Yo-Yo also appears to be trying to bone Harley Quinn so there's that reason why I hate the one female team member surrounded by a billion men. It turns into a complete shaggin' wagon situation!

If writer Adam Glass was such a fan of Harley Quinn, I don't understand why he would change her character and put her in this situation. It's like watching bad fan fiction re-enacted by cosplayers.

Again I wonder why Secret Six - a comic with interesting characters, genuine sex appeal, good scenarios and humour was canned for this universal reboot.