Harley Quinn And The Birds Of Prey #2

Well here am I, sat in front of an uphill battle of reviewing something that is admittedly out of date and even after a long hiatus I'm out of patience for. Self loathing is a trip, I tell ya. 

August 2020

Same as last issue, written by Palmiotti and Conner again with Conner still doing the art. As you probably know by reading nearly any of my blog posts (another fun word for them is rants!) these guys aren't my favourites. Conner's art is fairly clean, which I appreciate but... 

Eh. As much as the taglines like to spout that these guys really push the boundaries, push the envelope, push the shopping trolleys, push the fourth wall and anything else that needs a shove... they really don't. This is the exact same as their other Harley Quinn run - from the cover layout that I've seen a million times before, the over explained re-cap with a zillion speech bubbles, the billion other characters that Harley is given precedence over, the trillion times we're reminded that Harley is now a crass horndog who really doesn't care about anyone else and the bajillion times we have to hear the same unfunny beaver jokes. 

If I can say something nice about the cover, it's that I like the Harley grenade and the logo is fairly inoffensive. The rest is just... really generic and flat. It's clear Conner loves making this art... but I know she can do better (well, maybe) and not be as lazy as this. 

So, as mentioned earlier we have a huge recap complete with over dramatic Harley even though nothing really happened in the last issue. Well things did happen, but it's nothing that Harley cares about, it's just a lame pretense for her to run away from her girlfriend troubles or the mundane issues like helping her friends recover and find a home because she wants revenge on the eeeevil loan mob she chose to deal with, even though she literally just murdered a huge bunch of them and didn't pay them the money she owed because she was off trying to simultaneously smooch and kill Ivy. 

This is not me being a Harley hater. This is me re-capping what the Harley in this series alone has done. She decided her best course of action was to take a fun road trip to get away from her immediate problems instead of helping her friends and co-workers. 

The Gang of Harleys almost died, they're homeless and with the exception of maybe Coach - they've lost their FREAKING EYEBALLS! 

It just got straight up Little Orphan Annie in here! 

Batgirl #18 'O, Harley Night!'

Judging by the snow and the red and green coloured title, it's already going to be an American Christmas. Why did I specify that? Because I'm English, but now live in Australia.. where the concept of it snowing at Christmas, which is generally the meltiest time of the year but it's because the heat soars higher than any sleigh, and the drops falling are just filthy sweat... not snow.

There is a reason why we amend our Santas to look like this;

for if we don't... THEY SUFFER FROM OVERHEATING. 

So the general or popular opinion that you have to be buried in ten feet of snow for it to be actually Christmas gets a bit grating at times but yeah, sure, it's set in American and it's comics so sure. Ok.

But of course - our Harley is still running around wearing her usual outfit and ... a scarf?
Like - OH NO, It's cold! Better wear a scarf with fluffy boots and not like... do my jacket up or.. heaven forbid, wear pants or something covering my midriff!

She also adds purple and green leggings to her already horrible mish mash of red/black/pink/blue. Why? Who knows. Also not a massive fan of the change of Batgirl costume. I know - I'm behind the times there and it does seem to suit her more youthful appeal but you just can't beat the classics.
Also, how did Harley beat Batgirl to the point where she's just casually looking up at this arse clown while her back is surely breaking? And that my friends, is a 'too soon' for me moment.

Variant cover is alright, Harley is channelling Joker in the face but it's still better than wearing a band-aid on her mug like in cover one. At least here she commits to the Christmas theme and goes full red and green - even though she's wearing booty shorts, at least her jumper is done up and she's wearing warm gloves. The jingle bell belt is nice and I approve of the pigtail fluffy scrunchies and the the British looking old school lamps in the snow, however it seems like Batgirl was drawn by a different artist? And why is her hair made of spray paint? Still, the little gift-bomb is a nice touch.

So - why is this happening?  Let's have a look.

Justice League vs. Suicide Squad #1

Feb 2017
Writer: Joshua Williamson
Artist: Jason Fabok
Colours: Alex Sinclair
Letters: Rob Leigh

It's taken me a while to get into this mini series because it was just...
Well, I mean, look at it. A  bunch of C and D listers at best, who can't even commit petty crimes without getting caught going up against The Justice League? Half of them don't even have powers... and we've all seen the memes.

The baffling thing is that this comic came out a year after Suicide Squad: The most incompetent and needlessly confusing entry into DC's movie list. That movie had the SAME problem and not only was it not resolved, it was written into the script as the gosh darned PITCH to CREATE the Suicide Squad. Sure, everyone expects them to die Mr. Bond hence the name but the fact remains that someone literally proposed that these non-powered boobs were the answer and the solution to stop an evil Superman when these idiots probably couldn't agree on a Pop-Tart flavour without breaking out into petty squabbles.

So - no powers/limited powers, no team work..... not the greatest idea ever thought up, that's for sure.

I wondered if it was an attempt to recover from the movie or an attempt to cash in from the movie. Then I was like, nah, I think they're cashing in on Harley Quinn. Damn - top billing right next to Batman. Looking like Superman be punching her in her oversize tits while Aquaman looks on from behind, having given his last heck eons ago.

Aquaman be like 'Y tho?'

That said, the cover looks nice. I can appreciate the symmetry business they got going on, and I like that Harley actually looks nice here. As in, she looks like she actually has human hair, not just oddly coloured growths on either side of her head. The playing card tattoos on her face don't even bother me that much. I still think the pink and blue is so stupid but if you're gonna do it I guess do it better than everyone else. Her red nose is what ruins it for me. Lousy Harley Quinn Solo writers.

Now, the variant covers.... hmm. Well, let's just say if you wanted a weirdly drawn picture of Deadshot sitting on Batman's chest/shoulder like a messed up Santa Claus photo op, you got it! If you wanted a picture of Batman and Deadshot leaping at each other looking more like they're in a dance battle rather than an actual battle, you got it!
If you want obligatory women fighting women covers with slight bondage thrown in, you got it!
Oh you like that, huh? Here ya go, have it in black and white too!

Rebirth Harley Quinn #22

Again with the two covers cash grab. This is a constant with Hardly Quinn comics, constantly milking their cash cow. The first one doesn't really work for me but I can appreciate the attempted humour. The classic style cover is pretty, but doesn't offer anything apart from the realisation that the outfit looks weird without the eye piece.

Yes, Hardly's Unusually Jewish Parents have come to visit for.. some.. reason that's crucial to the plot. I think.

They don't introduce them very well in my opinion. We don't actually know how much THEY know about their corpse like daughter and if they - like the rest of the friggin' world - seem to have forgotten that she was kind of an associate to a mass murdering psychotic clown and has put her doctorates to a great use behind bars.

Instead we get to hear about how much they experimented before marriage and how they think she's got a skin condition.

Now even if they didn't realise their daughter is a murdering whack job... do they not even recognise eco-terrorist Poison Ivy?

REBIRTH HARLEY QUINN #20 - Blast from the Future: Right back at ya!

Keeping up with the variant schtick again trying to get people to buy two issues...
Here we have generic Hardly Quinn reminiscing about how she used to be awesome and classic-esque Harley Quinn swinging around with a puppy, because apparently she forgot she had hyenas or something. Whatever.

We open up on a generic dingy motel that isn't drawn very well... it looks like the cheap wooden cabins we stayed in at school camp as opposed to a dingy motel you could be proud to carry out some illegal activities in.

I think it's raining, but  it could be archery/spear practise. More information on that later.

Harley Sinn is already a better thug than Hardly is, feeding her captives, speaking English, having a chat, and heck, she's already made me laugh when she reason's out why she can't shoot them both in the face.

Both Mason and Macabre, when un-gagged, choose to grill Sin about Quinn instead of asking 'where are we going? who are you? Why have you kidnapped us? Are we going to die? What is this generic takeaway food?'

Yeah, what's your beef with Quinn, Sin? How could anyone EVER hate Hardly? I'd say good question but every issue she's in just seems to cement the fact that she's an annoying overbearing murderer with bad colour co-ordination soo.....?

REBIRTH HARLEY QUINN #20 - Blast from the Future

Usual cover not too bad actually, despite pimping out various incarnations of Harley Quinn to attract fans from all areas while the variant.. I don't know.. that face.. she looks politely puzzled as if she's saying "Why do I have all these cats? Why am I here? Where's my makeup? Why am I sitting calmly in this no-where place?"
Sadly, no one knows. Just like this comic, that cover will be swallowed in a sink hole of unanswered questions and misguided attempts at humour.

Speaking of misguided - we open on anorexia poster child Hardly pretending to shed a tear for all the homeless folks.

This, I don't buy. For one thing, she's never really be shown to give a shit about anyone but herself and secondly, is she stupid? Some of these homeless people are probably so far under the radar that they wouldn't be able to be identified easily even if they weren't all mushed together with everyone else's skeletons. Also, what day is this? What sort of friggin' turn around on DNA tests was she expecting? Wasn't she supposed to be smart? 

Also also, what sort of jerk wears cleavage baring tops and low slung pants to a gosh darned memorial? I suppose we should be grateful that she's occasionally allowed to wear pants, even if she does look like a starved killer whale. 

REBIRTH HARLEY QUINN #19 - Red Meat - Sucking the Marrow out of the Party

Alright, props for the variant cover for at least giving me a laugh. That actual cover seems like it should have been used as a cover for the start of the whole Red Meat saga of doom instead of where it is.

Anyway, here we have Hardly waking up in a pile of bones and talking about Holeee Something or oleees TM. 




She imagines a skull that could be Skipper but probably isn't has a fuller and more interesting life than she does while she callously breaks it's teeth to help herself out.

Then, not only does she pick a lock in two seconds, but she finds hair ties and a cache of weapons, because of course.

Of course she does.

Red Tool does his best/worst Deadpool impersonation and manages to screw himself up, and kill some random dude on the way down, but it's okay because he was misogynistic for the two seconds we saw of him and the woman saved from him thinks it's cool and not a matter of 'how am I going to explain this to the boss and the cops while not looking like a main suspect?'




The hobo stealers have been told to leave town but they're all like, no way man, you're not my supervisor! Not sure why there has been a big deal made over this because it's in their best interest and seems like the plot could have used some incentive like, oh, a time frame or something to make it a bit more compelling.

Hardly busts out and she's ready to wail on everyone, because that's what she does now in her Social Justice Warrior persona.

REBIRTH HARLEY QUINN #18 - Red Meat Abduction Reduction

It's a strange state of affairs when I find myself more preferential to the Rebirth Hardly Cover instead of the variant showing Classic Harley gazing adoringly at a Suicide Squad Hardly outfit.
Pee-yeew that's so on the nose,  it honestly stinks.

Anyway, in the last shitty instalment of this comic, Hardly was abducted after posing as a wannabe homeless person and now people are trying to eat her.

I for one, welcome our new cannibalising overlords.

But first, here's some random crap thrown in as part of the plot. It's Gotham in 2167!

Good lord, who would want to see the cesspit of Gotham now let alone the future? Anyway, some random girl named Catie... ugh. I see the future didn't fix any spelling issues with kids names.

Anyway, she's being sent on some time jump mission to take down Hardly Quinn in present day. But she's not in Gotham? Oh well.

I for one, welcome our new Terminator overlords.

They clearly have their priorities straight and the art in these few pages is already better than the current comic by a mile. Did they add this in to kick themselves when they were down?

I for one, support this.