Hero-clix Harley the Stripper, straight from LA....

My fellow collector called me up and said hey, there's a new Hero Clix Harley Quinn but she's in her new outfit. I said, what the hey, I'll have a look at it. So I looked at it. Turned away. Looked back. Nope, no mistaking it. They made her the lamest joint statue ever. Let's take a look.

This is the Harley Quinn Championship token thing. It looks like she's about to give some slob a lapdance. Here's what some of the previous team up tokens look like. 

Justice League Dark #39

The hijinks continue with the Justice League Dark. Zatanna and her constantly changing outfit. Constantine with his new TV show! ...Deadface! Nah, just kidding, he's pretty cool. Not sure why they're fighting some sort of inky shreddy charcoal lady, but I assume that's something they do to bond. 

Harley Quinn: Justice League United #9

So the madness continues with Justice League United #9.

I have to say, Supergirl's pose is pretty tame for a super heroine but still looks damn awkward. Also, J'onn is losing his mind, I don't even want to know what that weird baby tongue demon thing in the background is. Wait, what is that?! Kill it with fire! 

Biased as I am, the Harley Cover is a massive improvement on the original. The more serious the original the better the tongue in cheek cover works. Speaking of working, how much better does the pure black look on her eyes?

Written by JEFF LEMIRE

Art by NEIL EDWARDS and JAY LEISTEN

Cover by ANDREW ROBINSON

HARLEY QUINN Variant cover by MIKEL JANIN

1:25 Variant cover by MATTEO SCALERA

On sale FEBRUARY 11 • 32 pg, FC, $3.99 US • RATED T

This issue will ship with three covers. 

“The Infinitus Saga” continues as the team joins the Legion of Super-Heroes, a Thanagarian war fleet and a Rannian war fleet to battle the endless forces of Infinitus!

February is now Harley Quinn month

Thaaaat's right, no more Valentines, just Harley Quinn. Why? I don't know, she sells? She sells like hotcakes so people - like me - may just go out and get these covers and inadvertently buy some crappy comic I have no interest in. Screw you, DC!!

Anyway, here's Justice League #39

Cover Girls of DCU: Harley Quinn Statue

Hold on to your jester caps, it's another Harley Quinn statue!

DC COMICS COVER GIRLS HARLEY QUINN STATUE
DESIGNED BY STANLEY "ARTGERM" LAU
SCULPTED BY JACK MATHEWS
The line of stunning statues inspired by the art of Stanley "Artgerm" Lau continues with this masterfully sculpted statue of the Cupid of Crime!
Limited Edition of 5,200
Measures Approximately 10.5" Tall
$99.95 US • On Sale July 2015 * Allocations May Occur

DC Event: Convergence!

Snootchie Boo....whaaaa?

This was my initial reaction face when I heard that DC was planning yet another tedious event. I mean, They haven't even finished the other event that no one seems to care for yet!

(In case you're wondering, I'm talking about Future's End - the comic sensation that gave us Horrendous Hulk Harley and Hilarious Honeymoon Harley in the same breath.)

My emotions are all from the eyebrow, baby.

New Suicide Squad #4

Writer: Sean Ryan

Artist: Jeremy Roberts

Publisher: DC Comics

Release Date: November 12, 2014

Cover Price: $2.99

Outgunned and out of time, this could be the end for Harley, Deadshot and The Jokers Daughter as they struggle to survive in Russia against Deathstroke!

Another month, another hour of this long ass mission for the Suicide Squad. To be honest, I only put that synopsis up above because I don't even remember what happened in the last issue unless that was the one with the really awkward fight scene between the two token catfighters I mean, two villainesses in the group. 

Anyway, Deadshot's having verbal fun with Deathstroke, probably about death or shooting one imagines. Black Manta and Harley Quinn leap to his aid - leap being the operative word here. 

If you're reading this now, you've probably got a fair idea of what I think about the art work in these books. 

Harley Quinn: Jim Lee Bust Review

So today I received my pre-ordered Harley Quinn New 52 Jim Lee Bust.

.........That's a stupidly long stupid name. Let's call it, the 52HQ.

Anyway, a few things jumped out at me. Such as, even though this is Jim Lee's own stupid design for the character formerly known as Harley Quinn, it's still a different design from the original New 52 sketch or even the comics. I really don't grasp why they can't just stick with one design. So here we are with the annoying blue and red colour scheme...and what is that?

The base is half red half blue, makes sense, given her colour scheme here... but half is smooth and half looks like a useless kid's finger painting exercise? Machine error, physical representation of Harley's state of mind, who knows?

This is the generic picture for the bust

New Suicide Squad: Future's End

Or should that be, future's bleak?
Well kids, I can confirm that my jaw dropped when I read this comic. I don't know why. It's not really a medical thing, it definitely shouldn't be from DC doing ridiculous things all the time because I take drugs for that now.

At the very least, when the cover shows me this:

Why go all the way to the Oval Office and *not* use the presidential chair?

and the solit tells me this:

Amanda Waller’s covert war against the United States reaches the boiling point as the Suicide Squad takes the White House!
I sort of expect this:

See, some nice drapes really makes it a whole new room!

Which left me thinking, did I buy the wrong comic or what? I've often bemoaned the fact that in the New 52 more than ever, the covers do not match the interior story. Basically, if you don't want any spoilers you can toddle off right about now, pip pip!

Harley Quinn's Secret Origins

I didn't know what to expect from this comic. This is the image I saw prior to purchase.

This is what I got when I forked over my cash.

It's not even a full Harley Quinn issue! I mean, yeah, cram in more comics get some more value but I was under the impression that it was going to be a full Harley Quinn issues. I will point out that I haven't followed the Secret Origins comics or else I probably would have known this.

Anyway, the cover I like. Oh sure, she's going for the tough-guy wall lean with weapon look but even the most New 52 loving fan would have to admit this could also be a bad area weird hooker wall lean. Having said that, Lee Bermejo handles the outfit well, it actually looks half decent and like a real outfit in his hands.

New Suicide Squad - because old suicides are so passe!

So the other day my partner and I went into the big bad city to collect his nephew from the airport. We noted without surprise that the other side of the highway was at a stand still. I helpfully and persuasively suggested that we visit our comic stores in order to pass the time. (Insert manic laughter here)

End result, I picked up a few Harley goodies including a new issue, the directors cut of issue zero, new Injustice, Gods among us comic and the new Suicide Squad. Well, I thought I'd give it a try. Odds are they can't do worse than before... oh wait, this IS DC we're talkin' bout Willis.

So the cover is interesting but it's another case of 'what's happening on the cover probably isn't in the book.' Like many things in the DC world that have Harley slapped on the cover and nothing inside but a mention or a brief cameo. Or awesome action scenes that are only implied and never occur in the book itself.

Nothing about this says hostile takeover of... um, hostiles.

Turns out Joker's Daughter, Deathstroke and Black Manta aren't forcing their way into this well balanced, over achieving dream team at all! They're already on it! So what else is new in the new suicide squad of the new 52? Wow, I sound like a jackass. Who comes up with these names, I feel so... so 90's and dirty!'

Well anyway, there's a new artist - the winner of the Harley-gate drama... but he's not exactly new in the industry. There's a new 'stache in town! Oh wait, that's the old 'stache that people wanted back since forever. There's a new cape in town..... no, wait, that's the same stupid cape that Harley keeps losing and regaining. There's a new face in town... noo... that's that ridiculous spoof of a character with that joke of a Joker character's decaying face? Damn, I hate the new Joker's Daughter.

Duela Dent was awesome! Now I bet this re-make is only here to remind people of the Joker's face being cut off or start some sort of groupie fight with Harley.

'IT'S A WHORE OFF!'

It occurs to me that they're really wearing the same outfit but in stupid colours and ... stupid everything. I really don't know why this is a character, or why DC is having such a hard on for psychotic clowns lately.
It's even worse when they keep doing the Harley is over the Joker thing and then bitching about some other clown that thinks she's the next best Joke----- Oh my stars, they made Harley into a hipster!! Nooooo!!

Anyway, the plot is about some new control guy fanboying over the XL task force. I don't get it. It's not really that big of a group. Hopefully if this new new remake is that confident about adding new people, we're going to be seeing a lot more permanent killings off or at least some character development.

Speaking of XL, Amanda Waller walks down the whitest, boringest, most pristine prison ever with a woman who is not a cardboard cut out super model type! I initially thought yay! progress in comics! which was followed up by a more sobering thought that they're probably just making fun of Amanda Waller not looking like that anymore. Yay?

So we're suddenly in Russia and Harley takes issue with the FACE while Deadshot and Manta strike weird generic comic poses. It's like someone's cut out the stock images from one of their comics and just pasted them in. I hope the Joker's Daughter gets a one shot like Harley did that explains how she chose her incredibly stupid and nonsensical outfit. Anyway, Deathstroke manages to jump over to Harley to nearly start fellatio with a gun and Deadshot has the best line of them all.

*ahem*

'It's always been pretty chaotic, but it was a chaotic I understood. Now? Now I don't know what's going on. '

I call shenanigans! No one knows what's ever going on in this comic, and if Deadshot ever did understand it then why was he always demanding answers or moaning about things before?

The plan gets laid out, namely bagging out Russia and destroying a place the team intends to search. Deadshot has an existential crisis when he's emasculated by the better assassin. Harley is again walking in the snow like a persistent hooker. One of Waller's eyes shrinks dramatically. Joker's Daughter apparently possesses enough force to explode a guy's head with her fist.



Things go surprisingly well and there are some excellent burns at the expense of Harley, Deadshot, Waller and the old team. Then the Red Rockets show up and one wonders if they did any research on Russian defence at all before lobbing grenades?

Pros:

• Art isn't too bad and is at least consistent
• Harley didn't do anything too stupid
• Seems like a brand new start and I didn't cringe as much as I thought I would

Cons:

• Existing issues with 'new' artist, seems to have trouble expressing movement
• Really wanting to like Sage but too much blah blah
• Involvement of New 52 Joker's Daughter in any shape or form

Bombshell Harley Quinn Statue

Hi there, people! I'm sure you recall the hype I generated about the new release Harley Quinn bombshell statue, right? No? Oh, well it went like this.
  SQUEEAL! EEEEK! GLOMP! FANGIRL STEREOTYPE! 

Anyway, now I have said statue. I really struggle with time frames when these things come out. America says one thing, pre-orders say another, Australia assumes it's going to be another month or two behind because the world seems to hate us and our deadly assortment of killer animals and insects...

So I was at work one day when my sister called and said, 'hey, I found this neato statue at insert-store-here.. do you have this?' 
I said unto her, 'Nay, I do not, sister mine! Pray, show me that you love me and purchase this sculpted item at once, verily forsooth!' 
Then I think she called me a strange kid but nevertheless put her bargaining skills to good use and got me the statue for cheap. Well, not cheap but cheap for a just released Harley Quinn statue that has no doubt tripled in price as I've typed this.