Harley Quinn and Batman #4

Part four of five opens with us seeing Shrubby curse Harley for wrecking up the club after he vouched for her. He also calls her a 'skirt.' Isn't that like, 20's Italian mafia speak coming out of the mouth of a 70's themed disco vegetable? Plus, she isn't even wearing a skirt which makes it a bit stupid to refer to a female as a certain part of clothing if she doesn't normally wear that style.

Anyway, Batman and Nightwing are waiting in Shrubby's apartment because of course they are and the whole thing sounds like a bad domestic violence screenplay

Batman: That's quite a shiner there, Dougie. Been in a fight?
Shrubby: I walked into a door.

While they're talking, Shrubby just straight up walks over to the window, opens it up and tumbles out. Does Nightwing make a habit of this happening? Of course, Batman's put a tracer on him and they're going to follow him straight to Harley Quinn.

Side note, Shrubby's feet just don't look big enough to support him standing let alone jumping out of a few storeys and running off. What is he, a six year old ballerina?

How much time has passed here? I assumed this was all occurring immediately after Harley flipped out for no real reason but in this time frame Batman and Nightwing have already heard the news about the fight and have in their own words - talked to literally everyone - and now Poison Ivy is apparently on a weird tutorial date with the Floronic Man.

Rebirth Harley Quinn: #32 Off the leash

Now here's a comic I haven't wanted to poke with a finglonger in a very very long time but seeing as how it's their last bow from mediocre comics (at least for now) I thought I'd see them out.
You know, mock them, hold the door for 'em, kick 'em on the way out?


Starting with the covers. Man, I get that they're hyping this whole world shaking death thing (did anyone NOT guess it was going to be Mason? Honestly curious about that.) but I literally cannot take Hardly seriously here.

For one thing, that hideous make-up running down her face and for wearing go go pants to a freakin' graveyard.












Shit, she even had a funeral corset in Suicide Squad New52 and spent half of Arkham City/Harley's Revenge with crying face mascara and she looked ten times more respectable than this! The other cover.... meh. It's drawn well (and therefore probably doesn't belong anywhere near this comic) but come on, how many memes of Harley Quinn have you seen like this? Nathan kinda looks like some rabid turd one of the hyenas shat out but it's one of his better looks.





Now this panel comes right after the Mayor literally tells them to off Hardly Quinn and Harley Sinn. He tells them to dump them somewhere, anywhere. Seriously. And one of the thugs actually goes along with the whole - "no, don't shoot my face because it'll upset my parents!" bit.

What - you think you're gonna get an open casket funeral instead of being dropped in a ditch somewhere? Idiot.
Firstly - that face ain't worth savin' sweetheart. Secondly - are they seriously dumb enough to shoot at Hardly's collar?



I was already rolling my eyes at the classic Bond villain 'leave the bad guy alone because they're totally going to die like, I'm 99% sure of it this time I think' routine, but this takes the cake.
Especially when everyone knows Hardly's not going to die. I mean come on, her neck isn't even damaged and they're like 'yeah, better not double check she's dead. I'm sure it's fine.'

Harley Quinn news - the turning tide, the animated spin off and more

Today I was reading some news and some Harley related things caught my eye, so here's my take on them. Please note some spelling corrections and punctuation have been added to original articles. 

When DC Comics Makes The Case Against Harley Quinn

Posted by Rich Johnston November 21, 2017

Harley Quinn is one of DC Comics’ most successful breakout characters in recent years. long before the Suicide Squad calm, she was the cosplayer's choice, with a variety of looks down the decades and a certain propensity to survive and prosper despite have no superpowers save for the ability to do whatever the hell she wanted and get away with it.

She currently appears in the twice-monthly Suicide Squad comic, the twice-monthly Harley Quinn comic and plenty of other spin-off one-shots, mini-series and specials. Oh and in this month’s Red Hood And The Outlaws #16.

In which she encounters the Amazonian warrior Artemis – who seems to have a different take than the DC orthodoxy, And one shared by a number of critics…

Artemis also calls Harley prattling and tiresome. 

With Sean Murphy‘s Batman: White Knight also distinguishing between the classic Harley that the book seems to favour and the more modern game-and-film influenced Harley Quinn that it dismisses as a separate character unworthy of Batman’s attention …is a tide turning against Harley Quinn from the creators at DC Comics? And with Jimmy Palmiotti and Amanda Conner leaving the book, will their replacements be such staunch defenders?

My thoughts on this is that I really hope so. I get that she sells, so naturally DC has her everywhere. There's probably some Harley Quinn in your own butt crack - that's how swamped we are with her. I don't really mind that she's everywhere but I hate the personality she has in the solo comic because she's very up herself. So when we get that, along with characters (talking about her Gang of Harleys or literally anyone in her solo series, Hack from Suicide Squad, anyone in the Suicide Squad movie, and even characters from Josie and Freakin' Pussycats) that are just there so they can gush over how *awesome* Harley is and how *unique* and how *hot* she is and so much *better* in her new self... is really, really, really getting old and annoying. 

Harley and Ivy meet Betty and Veronica #2

Here we are with issue two of Harley and Ivy meet Betty and Veronica. When we last left of, we had the implausible scenario where there was a costume scenario where literally no one looked like anyone but there was extreme drama about looking like someone else.

That said, cover one is actually quite beautiful while cover two is nothing to write home about.
I literally had a notebook at TAFE/college with that exact same spiral background.











So the issue literally opens with what could be the lamest fake-out in recent comic history.

The "bad guys" of the issue just happen to have two cardboard cut outs of Harley and Ivy in shocked poses, right down to Ivy's missing waist and Harley's untied shoe laces.

Untied shoe-laces? She is a *terrible* role model. That's effin' dangerous, that is!

Anyway the apparent villains are thugs that Harley and Ivy have crossed in some way - turning some guy into a peach head, some other guy has been ill affected by laughing gas, and some lamprey guy. I don't know if him being a lamprey has anything to do with Harley and Ivy or if he's just peeved about his poor money investment. All it tells me is that this comic couldn't afford Penguin.

But enough about these two bit villains no one cares about, let's get back to the costume drama.
Cripes, as if we need more costume drama with Harley Quinn but anyway.

If you can't have doubles Veronica, then perhaps you should have made a invitee register and made it very clear last issue.

Besides... and this is very important...
these two sets may as well be different characters because their costumes aren't *that* similar.







Hahahahahaha Can you imagine Veronica at a comic convention?

"Excuse me, you twenty thousand Harley and Deadpool cosplayers, we cannot have repeat characters or "old" versions. It is just too gauche."
Next minute - death by cosplayers. Geez, who even talks like Ronnie?

Suicide Squad New 52 #8

Nostalgia is awesome. If you asked me for ten cool things about the nineties, I could list my favourite artists, movies, video games, food franchises.... you name it. On the flip side, if you asked me for some dodgy nineties nostalgia something like this piece of... art... would be at the top of the list.

June 2012.

But it's not even from the nineties! I hear you cry. You're right, anonymous voice in my head. This is from 2012. This is not a good thing. That said.... at least four out of five characters are in proportion. What the absolute hell happened to Harley Quinn???

She's lost her eyeballs, gained some ginormous bazungas, changed the direction her hair colours go, her thigh is the same size going down to her knee and oh look. Eight issues in and there's already ANOTHER variation on her costume. Yikes.

Anyway... maybe the art is better on the inside.


Well, it is a bit but the logic is not so sound. Everything is blood stained red and that's pretty cool. Lime's death is relayed in a really awkward pose. Savant is also in an awkwarder pose than what we left him in. King Shark... likes showing off his gams in surprisingly clear sewage water.
Harley Quinn found the strength to roll over after being shot.

Wait, why was she shot? Oh yeah, she trapped Deadshot inside some random room in the Gotham City police station and put the skinned Joker face on him. Remember? There was a whole issue about storming the police station.

Soo.... why does the page say this was in Arkham Asylum?

I feel like ten seconds of fact checking would have solved this problem but no-one could be bothered. Won Fon Hey?

Retro Review: Harley Quinn #15 Metropolis Mailbag

Feb 2002

A really nice cover here - Harley just layin' around... picking um, a lot more than a a few flowers. Is she playing Love me Love me not or just spelling out her name? Let's hope Poison Ivy doesn't see her doing whatever this is or it may just be convenient that she's in a graveyard. 

I really like that Harley Quinn carries a hand bag around. It adds a fun level of realism to these larger than life comics. 

This issue opens with someone sending in their mail to Chance@Love - Holly Chance's romance advice column at the Daily Planet. This is a recurring subject in this issue, so watch out for our our guest star later on. Meanwhile, Harley Quinn herself is out robbing a garden supplies store and mocking it's employees. 

She's having a bit of fun doing this and doesn't want to leave until Poison Ivy formally advises her that their business there is concluded and Harley can drive. There is apparently nothing more that Harley Quinn loves more than racing around erratically in a drop top. Yep, even more than puddin'.


But there is something else missing from her life.. she says it's Thorn but she pretty much just symbolises a challenge. 

After a hard night's larceny, Ivy goes out for a sun-bake but warns Harley not to be late for her new job. It's fine though! Harley assures Ivy that she has a built in clock and for her, oversleeping is a physical impossibility!

So naturally she's several hours late for work - Harley truly is all of us. 

Yet Even More Ugly Harley Quinn Merchandise!

DID I HEAR MY NAME????

You know, this kind of post could go on forever the way DC is milkin' the ever lovin' fudge out of their main pillar. You know, the female one. No, the one that's not from Themyscira and is actually worth building a pillar around.

So yes, I have managed to find even more merchandise for Harley Quinn - merchandise that only the most dedicated fan could stomach, and even then not without wincing or cringing away from it.

Firstly - do you even look back fondly on Harley Quinn's original Suicide Squad outfit? Do you like horribly paired colours? Do you enjoy wearing socks and sandals together?

Then these Harley Quinn tights could be for you!

I don't even know what you would wear this with or if you could even really wear shoes with them on? Is that a white diamond on the blue calf or is it just a dodgy design job?

They retail for about as much as your average knee high tights (read: way too much) and don't actually resemble her costume that much.

How can one pair of tights cause so many questions?







Otherwise, here are some that are inspired by the grungy, infection riddled prison tatts from the movie. Let the world know you're obsessed, draw like a child and can't spell 'secret!'

Gotham City Sirens #5

Out of the Paest
Dec 09

Can I just say how awesome this cover is? My only quibble is Harley's twisty ass and tits torso and what one of my old work friends used to call 'mono-boob'. I think you could put a pencil under one side, and lift the entire set equally. It's a disturbing notion, yet somewhat tempting. Hmm.
Apart from that though, the dynamic background, the nice work with the shadows and lighting effects, the sweet cane pose and the pop gun... it's just a nice cover.



Anyway, where we last left of in Sirens, a horrifying Joker car-drone had just driven into their hideout and exploded. Selina and Ivy are alarmed by the sudden appearance of fire while dear Harley Quinn - ever on the ball - simply gets peeved that Joker didn't try to finish them off with a funnier gag.

Ivy - a woman of entirely plant parts and wavy hair - leaps dramatically from the fire, into the frying pan. Which is also very much on fire. She quickly grows and then sacrifices one of her budding cacti which is enough to extinguish the fire but can't avoid creating another kind of damage.

Needless to say, the other Sirens aren't exactly pleased with
Harley's dismissive and unhelpful attitude.









They decide enough is enough, this Joker's gotta go. Harley, true to form - doesn't seem to want him dead and offers anything apart from that - plant shopping trips, getting a restraining order...
Finally Ivy gets through to her by telling her what she wants to hear and then smacking her in the face with reality.

Nerdy Investigations: New 52 Harley Quinn

Earlier in a New52 Suicide Squad post, I asked myself what made writer Adam Glass change Harley Quinn so much when I remember him saying he was such a fan. In comic terms, this revamp may as well have been a few decades ago instead of back in 2011 but hey.

I decided to do some digging to try and find the interview I was recalling. 

We're not just going to focus on the outfit but mind you.. you have to point out what an extreme change she went through with her duds alone,  never mind her personality. 

For one thing, she went from a harlequinn to someone whose only visual cue that they were linked to clowns at one time was the ruffle collar and her kind of two toned theme with some diamonds sprinkled around. And even those are pushing it. For someone unfamiliar with the premise of Harley Quinn, she could be a renaissance era hooker or something. It's like someone asked Jim Lee to draw a Harley Quinn revamp and he only heard the word 'harlot'. 

Alright, sex worker jokes and slut shaming is not the way I want to go about this. So, let's compare two other revamps to how Harley Quinn was re-imagined.

So there was this one time when someone thought this was an awesome idea for Superman.

Everyone hated it, and he was soon back to fighting evil in his underoos which is more iconic and makes more money for DC.

With the Harley costume hate, DC decided it was better to keep it and ride the gravy train of publicity.









The other one I want to bring up is Catman. I was only introduced to Catman in Gail Simone's fantabulous Secret Six series. Originally created way back in 1963, he was a cat themed villain (duh) much like Catwoman and often got into scrapes with her as well as the Bat.

Eventually, he became a bit of a joke - that he was nothing like his old self but rather out of shape, dying his hair to make him look more bad-ass, all that jazz. This was in 2003 in a Green Arrow comic.

Then Gail Simone stepped in in 2005.

Harley Quinn and Batman #3

When we last left off, Harley had just gone to rob the zombie-like Catwoman (presumably for her poor re-design) and discovered that Catwoman was in fact home and not the rollover chump that Harley took her for. Honestly, why would your first hit be Catwoman? Do you not value your life?

In any case, the art is markedly better than the fare we've had previously even though it suffers from Batman the New Animated Adventures designs. Have I mentioned I hate these designs? Because I do. Hell, I even like the redesign for Joker more in The Batman than his appearance in The New Animated Series. 

Where are your eyes, Joker?! Where?!

Honestly, I don't know what they were thinking. Not everyone suffered, but Poison Ivy, Catwoman and Joker were definitely worse for wear. 

Right, well Catwoman with her gross zombie face, surprisingly small waist compared to her thighs and her whip attack Harley Quinn, and that's fair enough. Harley could have chosen literally any villain but she went for the highest profile cameo this side of Batman.

For some reason Catwoman falls for the old 'help me up buddy WHOOPS I've got a joy buzzer in my pocket and it's happy to see you' which is incredibly not like her, especially as she's so understandably antagonistic towards Harley. It's not like anyone's going to buy the whole friends things when it comes to villains ripping each other off. 

Birds of Prey Episode 3: Prey for the Hunter

We open on Oracle and Huntress having some girl time... sassy chats in the earpiece while Huntress punches some creepy acid tongue lizard thief guy..... Wow that's pretty specific.
Anyway, Huntress is bemoaning not being normal, that bad guys keep ruining her outfits and the victims aren't even worth helping. Ouch. Bad day much?

Not as bad as her perp's. For one thing, he's got that acid tongue thing going on, then he gets punched a lot, doesn't get to keep his stolen wares, is thrown in a dumpster, and then something else throws him OUT of the dumpster giving him a wicked boo boo in the process.



Meanwhile in our CGI cop shop, a new transfer from Bludhaven does a meet and greet with Reese. Turns out he's chasing a serial killer who never uses the same method twice.

Reese takes on his Mulder Jr. and they decide to take down this freaky deaky killer gorilla. After the shortest working day in history, Reese heads out onto the street where he is promptly scared shitless by Huntress jumping down five storeys in front of him.


Huntress tries out her 'I saved your life, you owe me confidential investigation details' but gets shot down pretty fast. They both have a mini temper tantrum with Huntress vanishing and Reese blatantly jaywalking into traffic playing chicken.

Meanwhile back at the Clocktower, Barbara finds out that the perp was killed via his own acid.

As far as they're aware Metas mostly always have different powers (must not have any knock-offs or sidekicks in this universe then) so they decide to have Helena question some mysterious guy in No Man's Land.

Dinah wants to go too but Barbara denies this request saying not on a school night but here's the address anyway!

Suicide Squad New 52 #7

This is another issue I reviewed back in the day under my original blog. If you're interested, you can check it out here. What, you haven't got time nor inclination? Well fear not, here's the into to it which I feel aptly sums up what I thought about the cover.

Suicide Squad Seven - The Alliterating Issue
Yes, it’s that time of the month again, so dig out your hot pants, get ready to storm Gotham PD and grab that skinned off Joker face because it’s the SUICIDE SQUAD #7 REVIEW!

Assuming I read like a normal person, let’s start with the cover. When I first saw this cover, I didn’t like it. Now I can see it full size it’s kind of growing on me, like Joker flesh on Deadshot’s face.(Tee hee) The new Harley Quinn logo surprised me, as last time they just stole her old one. You know, the one from the ‘original’ DC universe pre-reboot, post-pre-infinite... ehh... you know what I mean. The one that doesn’t exist anymore, or kind of does in some ways, but only in ways DC can make money off it.. Ehhh, you know what I mean.

Yep - remember how they used the previous Harley Quinn logo on the issue just prior to this one? It's been replaced with a new logo for her, and also doubles as one of the nails in the original Harley Quinn's coffin. Quite useful. Apart from that, the cover also raises some questions about Harley Quinn's costume... well, I mean MORE questions. 

For one thing.. does she wear the cape or not? It seems like every other issue it vanishes. Secondly... before her arm thingies looked like gauntlets... but one this cover in particular they look more like gloves. Also her nails aren't red one hand black the other.

DC House of Horror 2017

DC released a comic just in time for Halloween - it contains several stories by several people, artists and apparently one creepy uncle (?!) but the one I'm going to look at is a story called 'Crazy for you'.
A Harley Quinn story written by Bryan Smith and Brian Keene (collect the whole set) while Kyle Baker does the art, colours and letters. The plot itself is by Keith Giffen.

First of all though.... what's with the cover here?

It's kinda cool but kinda abstract too. Like, Batvampire swooping down on Wereflash is understandable... if a little bit gross. Come on, Bats, don't get hair in your fangs! Meanwhile, Green Lantern has become Green Candle apparently because he seems to be melting all over the table. Is he drunk? Is he being crushed by the combined weight of the other heroes? Is he literally melting? He doesn't look very happy about his situation.

Frankenstein's Superman is lifting ... okay, I don't know what Wonder Woman is supposed to be. I would hazard a guess at a ghost but if she's a ghost, why the hell does Frankenstein's Superman need to lift her out of the way of the other melty-furry-blood crazed idiots?

Alright, so I honestly don't know what's going on on the cover here but I don't hate the cover itself.

If you're interested, here's a list of the included stories. I read some of them and called the ending for most straight away but obviously they're only short stories with little time for plot twists.