BrazzersExtra - Riley Reid (Harley in the Nuthouse XXX Parody)

The irony of Harley being straight-jacketed in a padded cell while still wearing her killer stilettos is not lost on me.

She's also got a lot of make-up and hair product in. Like.. how long has she been in her cell? Is she not going to get like, a ton of zits and knots from this?


Movie takes about 2 minutes to warm up with some back story - a brief into to some new doctor being brought into Arkham Asylum but for the most part it's a glorified photo shoot for Harley.
Which is fine, but a lot of the shots are repeated and I don't mean they recycled the footage, I mean they reshot NEW footage of Riley doing what she had been doing before. Namely, biting at the camera, licking her lips and acting crazy while lights flicker and someone starts tunelessly humming a "la-la-la" song.

Again, is fine I guess. Even though she's hamming it up with a Hollywood version of fun-crazy, it's still more believable than Maggot's Suicide Squad Harley.

Did I mention I liked the name of the last one I watched? Yeah, this one's better. At first I wasn't impressed but then I was like.. did they just fetishise a crazy person while simultaneously making a male deposit joke about asylums? Niiiiiice.

New doctor warned about avoiding Harley's cell immediately goes to Harley's cell and goes inside.
I'm not even mad. This could be actual writing from a DC comic about their under-trained, easily duped doctors.

Once inside, new doctor is a bit more confident but then screen fades to black as apparently Harley fells him with her baseball bat... that she presumably hid in her hidey hole, retrieved and then used while she was still restrained?
Damn. Gotta work on my kegels before I let the team down apparently!!

Anyway, new doc is knocked out and when he wakes up he's in the one size fits all straight jacket. Wait, are straight kjackets one size fits all? (Edit: doesn't seem so.) Harley decides to dance around before she assaults the new doctor (it is what it is, no avoiding it.)

At one point she almost knocks him out with her butt-punch. Ahhh... I really hate when P0rn actresses tear their stockings. Like, I get it's supposed to be sexy but it's also like.. oof. That's a pair you can't use again and it's gonna be like $10+ to replace. The struggle is real.

And if she farts it would definitely be a KO

Like the struggle to take doctor's belt off. I don't think that part went to plan as per script, and I kind of love that they went with it and made it their own with a little quip. Still kind skeevy the whole 'man forced to do it with woman is then into it' thing, but to be fair it's usually the other way around a whole lot more in this sort of medium.

Um.. lots of those weird slurpy noises from the resulting BJ, which is understandable but here they sound like farty noises. I feel a bit bad for the actors - like, the straight jacket is a nice touch but it basically limits the doctor's involvement so Harley has to over-act a bit, but it's not painful overacting. Still, not bad to earn a paycheck literally on your back, hey quack?

Well, spoke to soon, he's out and about. I shuddered when Harley pinned him against the wall and his willy touched the cold looking brick. Brrrr. Even when he's up and freed, he doesn't do much. He gets to stand there and she does all the work again. Which, is fine. I can't tell if he's into grabbing his own butt or if it's a posed thing that makes the schlong look bigger/doesn't block camera shot of female/etc. Maybe he doesn't want his butthole on camera? He might be in the wrong profession but we all have our little clauses. I don't think I would be able to flash the camera a brown eye either.

Kinda like the belt thing, there was a moment where they're doing it upright and Harley almost falls over on her ridiculous shoes but doctor catches her quickly - it's so quick you may not have noticed it. Was a good recovery.  Not so good was a scene of Harley spreading her legs against the wall... and from the bottom up view it looks like the spots on the wall are weird hairs or fluffs sticking out.

"Hey, did you turn the oven off?"
"Ummm......"

Actually - I take what I said back - this guy must have a future in the industry. He's pretty ripped, well hung and there are so many scenes where he's standing up, fully supporting Harley's weight and doing it at the same time - pretty impressive (even though I'm sure she weighs less than a soaking wet kitten it would still be awkward) plus there was that catch he made when Harley stumbled, when he lifts her leg he makes sure she's not going to bang it on the wall.... He wears fun socks and suffers red marks on his thighs due to Harley's crazy footwear but doesn't complain.... Yep, I like this guy.
Also doesn't hurt that he kinda looks like Arthur Darvill.

Wait.... did Harley just do the Ahegao face during the money shot??!
Maybe it's just the angle of the camera... can I say begone thot to a p0rn actress??

The ending - mixed reviews. Every time Harley screeches "I can't hear youuuuu" it grates on my ears. Plus the temper tantrum was a bit... off putting. Reminded me too much of those Reddit stories about entitled people. The last bit though I didn't see coming for some reason, although I probably should have.

When your sober friend doesn't get the joke. 

The Short End of the Jester Schtick

I really liked the costume. Everything looked clean and crisp. The bracelets she wore looked much better than the spiky gold things in the other movie. She has less tattoos... from the movie it just seems to be the diamonds on her upper thigh, the heart under her eye and 'rotten' stamped on her jaw. Actress only seems to have one tattoo of her own, which must be rare in this industry. I liked that she used her own hair and not a dodgy wig. She's also a lot tanner (or wearing less white powder) than the other actresses, which seems to make the red and white on her outfit just... POP. Apart from her booty shorts she's wearing a lot less blue/red and more red/black and it looks soooo much better.

The eye make-up is really nice compared to the main movie as well.
Apart from that, Riley's nips scared me. They seemed aggressive. She has a nice figure but is still a lot on the skinny side - which, again, is fine, she's really pretty, but I guess from my standpoint, I want to know where her bewbs are. Like, the only time mine were the size hers are I was still in HIGH SCHOOL so it's creepy for me to look at them. Still, not body shaming anyone, just stating my opinion.

The background music is fine, but it's also kinda loud in the way that you sometimes can't hear what the characters are saying. I get it's hard to put microphones on someone who's butt nekkid but still. Harley's accent seems non-existent here, ever since the doctor entered her cell. She sounds Californian for the most part - and I'm no expert on American accents so I could be wrong.

Once the movie started and there were actual lights on, the padded cell is not even that, it's just white tiles. Not good for an asylum but it does allow for better 'Joker' smiley faces to be drawn on the wall. I liked those. I question what she drew them with but whatever.

The WHOLE TIME I was waiting for someone to walk past the window on their routines but that did NOT happen, even when the camera pans to outside the cell looking in briefly.

Whole thing is just under 40min and while not exactly plot driven, isn't bad and was a lot more enjoyable than the last two I checked out. Scenes were well shot, and even sexy to someone like me who generally has to put a lot of emotional investment into someone before I find them sexually attractive. There was no questionable scenes where people go back and front without washing and I like how they had a unique concept compared to the other movies. Not the most original, but they do it well and you even wonder at the end if Harley is actually crazy or just putting an act on.

 Even though the starting coercion was a bit icky, it was nice to see two characters genuinely enjoying each other's company and that even when working with a script you can see that they are actually making sure the other is okay to continue with what they're doing.

I feel a ship coming on. 

Wotta Comedian!

Doctor Leland: Look, doc, we know our reputation here, alright? But listen. If you don't do anything foolish, you got absolutely nothing to worry about.  


Harley: I'm gonna hit you in the head with a baseball bat. Then I'm gonna set all the patients free. That's what the voices in my head are telling me.. hahahaha I'm just joking. I'm not gonna hit you in the head again. 

Harley: No no NO doctor. You shouldn't have hard ons for your patients. I would know! 

Harley: Have to get technical with your f*cking belts.. 

Harley: I'll suck his d*ck as hard as I wanna suck it!! Sorry, just had to tell a couple of voices. 

Harley: I'd ask you to choke me but you're a little lied up at the moment!

Who Comes in First place?

1) Axel Braun's XXX Suicide Squad parody and  BrazzersExtra Harley in the Nuthouse TIED
2) Digital Playground's Suicide Squad
3) Studio Fow - Scarlet Knight

BONUS PANEL~!

I legit just saw this baseball bat slogan. I am kicking myself. Bra---vah Brazzers.