Batgirl #18 'O, Harley Night!'

Judging by the snow and the red and green coloured title, it's already going to be an American Christmas. Why did I specify that? Because I'm English, but now live in Australia.. where the concept of it snowing at Christmas, which is generally the meltiest time of the year but it's because the heat soars higher than any sleigh, and the drops falling are just filthy sweat... not snow.

There is a reason why we amend our Santas to look like this;

for if we don't... THEY SUFFER FROM OVERHEATING. 

So the general or popular opinion that you have to be buried in ten feet of snow for it to be actually Christmas gets a bit grating at times but yeah, sure, it's set in American and it's comics so sure. Ok.

But of course - our Harley is still running around wearing her usual outfit and ... a scarf?
Like - OH NO, It's cold! Better wear a scarf with fluffy boots and not like... do my jacket up or.. heaven forbid, wear pants or something covering my midriff!

She also adds purple and green leggings to her already horrible mish mash of red/black/pink/blue. Why? Who knows. Also not a massive fan of the change of Batgirl costume. I know - I'm behind the times there and it does seem to suit her more youthful appeal but you just can't beat the classics.
Also, how did Harley beat Batgirl to the point where she's just casually looking up at this arse clown while her back is surely breaking? And that my friends, is a 'too soon' for me moment.

Variant cover is alright, Harley is channelling Joker in the face but it's still better than wearing a band-aid on her mug like in cover one. At least here she commits to the Christmas theme and goes full red and green - even though she's wearing booty shorts, at least her jumper is done up and she's wearing warm gloves. The jingle bell belt is nice and I approve of the pigtail fluffy scrunchies and the the British looking old school lamps in the snow, however it seems like Batgirl was drawn by a different artist? And why is her hair made of spray paint? Still, the little gift-bomb is a nice touch.

So - why is this happening?  Let's have a look.

Top 10 Weirdest Harley Quinn Ships Pt 2

Hey - remember that video I just covered on Harley Quinn ships?
Remember how I mentioned some big names that I thought would have been in there for sure?
Remember how I mentioned these videos would be scraping the barrel?

Yeaaaaah.... about that. There's a part 2.

Soo.... this one is the same channel but has a different presenter and she objects to the term weird ships. But see.. these are weird ships. Half of them are people just saying "Well, person A and person B BOTH exist in this video game universe/unrelated movie franchises/comic books as a whole - LET'S SHIP THEM!!"

I understand her aversion to people crapping on fanships.. but the whole idea of fanships, surely.. is that there is SOMETHING there, some kind of sign, a look, a compatibility that then sparks the flames of a romance.. or at least something similar in the hearts and hopes of fans.

For example - Taiora from Digimon Adventure.

This one is my own weakness, I'll admit. While I appreciated the friendship these two had, my little heart thought they could be so much more. They understood each other, they trusted each other, they genuinely cared for each other, they were cute together and they both knew what needed to be done even though they had different ways of going about it.

So when Digimon Adventure 2 snuck in a romance between Sora and Matt (Sorato) I was horrified. These two barely had much to do with each other in the first season apart from being physically attacked by depression then getting over it fast. Matt was constantly too cool for school, had the crest of friendship but was always either snarking at or physically attacking his 'friends' and hey, remember that time the abandoned his really young brother in the Digiworld? I sure as heck do! He did it again later as well. Sora never seemed the type to moon over a "rockstar/astronaut" wannabe (that was so stupid) and I especially don't see her (who is generally the 'mom' of the group) putting up with someone who doesn't care about his own family. It was just weird, especially when they pumped out some clone children with the exact same Digimon as their parents. Umm.

Then we got Digimon Tri where they're always putting Sora in the middle of a Tai/Matt situation and forgetting she's a person too, who may or may not have her own life/hobbies. Maybe.

After all - Sora's relationship woes were just getting in the way of the biggest ship in Tri.

credit

I may have gotten off topic there but what I was trying to say was people either saw points for both Taiora and Sorato, or both. However, there was reasoning behind it and there were definite, deliberate parallels between Tai and Matt. People weren't just shipping Sora with say, Ken or Gennai just because they "happen" to inhabit the same universe.

Although there probably is a ship for that now. Thanks, internet!

Heroes in Crisis #4

Surprised this one wasn't "look ma, no hand!"

The punnage! The Dad Joke level of it all!

Wow.... murder is never the most glamorous of things - despite the whole noir/detective/spy gigs that keep popping up but good gravy does Harley look freaky here!
I turn the page and see Aquaman crying out in pain, grasping the mangled remains of his arm with his good hand and think 'aahhh, that's better.' Then I feel bad. But no tooo bad, because I'm pretty sure lil ol' Arthur got a gold hand to sob into afterwards.




Alright, first off - I love this scene. The mural, Donna casually carrying her drunk from mourning team mate, the graffiti credits, the lighting... it's just great.

We haven't really seen much of the Titans apart from... well... Wally. We do get to see Donna's confessional. Also... new outfit? I kinda like it... but I do miss the star cluster outfit with go go boots. 

She starts talking about the Troy that Helen and a few others made famous. 

At first you're like, okay, not everyone wants to talk about themselves, that's cool. But then you're like - she is. She's Donna TROY. She is still sore about DC screwing up her timeline and for the most part, her life. Clever way of saying so. Flash has a way with words too. 

Well... four letter words. 

Birds of Prey trailer released

You know why it's called a trailer? Because they're often linked to vehicles. As in.. my fears are becoming founded.. and Maggot Hurley is just erasing the entire awesome of Birds of Prey in favour of a Harley Quinn fame train because.. because she has Hollywood clout.. and likes herself too much I guess? I'm not linking it, if you wanna waste half a minute of your life then you can search for it.

The actual title of this movie is
Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn)

Well...... when a 34 second clip of a DC comics title Harley Quinn has literally nothing to do with shows about 25 seconds of Maggot Hurley swanning around acting drunk and trying to do the seductive lollipop thing but failing miserably... aaaand the ACTUAL Birds of Prey get squished into a couple of seconds with a hideous amount of quick shots - so quick you can barely tell what's going on and who anyone is. Plus, the titular Birds have to share this time with what's supposed to be the villains, I guess and then the whole 'fade to black/see you soon' thing.


So... that's really disappointing. Not gonna lie.

Besides, you can't just whip out a fantabulous word like you're a knock off Willy Wonka!
Girl, you're not even a second rate drag queen!

"Guess who went dumpster bin op-shopping again! .....MEEEE!!!!"

I remember reading something she said back when Suicide Squad was about to come out - something about how she read a couple of comics and just didn't 'get' the character. Man, this is becoming clearer and clearer each day. I mean, I GET wanting to make a 'new' version of a character for the big screen, I do. Lord knows everyone else freakin' has their own version of Harley Quinn. At the same time, if you're not going to even be true to a tiny bit of the character's origins... why bother?

Next it'll be an unfunny Joker, a Batman that shoots people and a Superman that doesn't care.
OH WAIT.

Birds of Prey Episode 5: Sins of the Mother

After all this talk of the Bird of Prey movie that at this point just seems to be a vehicle for Maggots instead of the story we deserve about the ACTUAL Birds of Prey, I just felt like watching something where even an alternate version of Harley Quinn is better than the mainstream garbage. 

Not pictured: Hollywood bimbos stinking up everything

So let's get into Episode 5 of Birds of Prey: Sins of the Mother.

Ahhh my CGI p0rn... how I have missed you.

Where was I? Oh right.. the inventively named New Gotham Station is our first stop, and also our first bad train pun on my behalf. But... who is this strange lady?

Well I'm guessing she's someone's mother from the title. I knew I should have gone to Detective School. Damn! A wasted opportunity!!!

Anyway, blonde lady glares at the city then puts on some dramatic sunglasses. After yelling "YEEEAAAAAH!" stalks off into the throng of unwashed masses wandering around the set. Immediately, a thug appears from stage right and makes a phone call. Like... was he just staring at her the whole time. He's not exactly inconspicuous. He makes a call from a bright sunny exterior into some musty, dusty, afternoon type lit room full of weapons and some dude in a suit.

Turns out our new lady friend has a price on her head. Musty Man (Fitz?) tries to tell some other guy about the new development but Sitting Down Clown only wants to instruct him on correct breathing techniques or something.

Pictured: My face when people try to get me into yoga

Batman: White Knight #1

Finally, I'm getting around to reviewing Batman: White Knight!
You may recall I did some similar blogs about Harley Quinn and her roles in this a bit earlier last year.

The covers here are nice, Joker and Harley in nice evening wear.. looking quite civil. The only throwback to their glory days of crime is Joker's purple/green tie and Harley's diamond motif. He's not even smiling but there is a horrifically eye catching Joker face at the bottom if you found yourself missing that. The alternate cover is black and white (geddit?) and while they're more of a focus on Batman and his proteges, Joker (and Harley?) still appear at the bottom. There's even a little logo for them, three diamonds and a rosette. More on that later.


Oh, you want more? Well here's another cover, summing up the theme of the comic a bit more than the other two.

The issue opens up mostly silent as we watch the Batmobile make it's way up to Arkham Asylum. Once there, the guards offer to take him in but Batman states he knows his way around. Visiting a particular cell we see.... wait.. Batman chained up?! And the Joker come to visit?!

WHAT A TWIST!!

What's even happening, I hear you say? Well, let's go back, one year ago, to the innocent days where a skateboarding Joker and a terrifyingly determined Batman trying his best to run him down was the status quo. Yeah, you read that right.

Some strange costumes here - the T-shirt and suspenders thing I could actually see Jared Leto's Joker wearing but Batgirl (even though she's the voice of reason here) fighting crime in a T-shirt is just downright bizarre.

Wait nevermind, it's actually long gloves not bare skin.

Nightwing has to save a random construction worker and tells Batgirl to get a tighter grip on Batman despite her protests.

We don't hear much from Batman himself, he leaves to follow Joker solo on foot - mowing down a trying-to-be-helpful guard on the way.

Ame-Comi - Duela Dent #1-3

Loving this Duela Dent, her outfit and her text no matter how uninspiring the other issues are.
So that's something. Now finally, some backstory so we know why we should give a rats... unlike the Joker's Daughter of the New52.

Everything on this cover looks pretty awesome but again... what the hell is going on with Harley's hat? Does the artist know they're not actually like bunny ears or do they have some sort of power in this universe?

No one will explain anything!

Part I

So starting off with a description of her house - which reminds me of a Series of Unfortunate Events and her outfits, which make me think of Alice in Wonderland we have the tale of little Duela.
A precocious child on the edge of society, running free across the waste dumps...

Yes, she actually does that and barefoot to boot. Turns out the house is condemned, which is a twist I totally did not see coming. /Sarcasm. Wait, this is either a different day or she stopped in a room I did not see to put on stockings and maybe shoes? A wise move, considering there are like syringes and broken glass shards outside your front door.

As it happens, the home is heritage listed as a Gotham landmark and that's why it's still standing. Barely. But whatever, it's a cool home for a crook dad and his little scamp of a girl to hang out.

Ame-Comi Batgirl #1-3

Probably the first batch of comics based off statues of DC's women, followed closely by Bombshells and Gotham City Garage. When this first came out, I was so hyped about it because I love stories about women, anime, and Harley Quinn. What could go wrong?

Well, a lot of things. The story didn't exactly grab me, the art varied from issue to issue and for the most part, the characters never really seemed to mesh well together. Don't get me wrong, some did but it just read like someone had literally stuck all these characters together but didn't exactly figure out WHY they should be co-existing apart from NEW STATUES NEED TIE IN MERCHANDISE.

The other thing I need to mention is that pretty much the entire run was written by Jimmy Palmiotti and Justin Gray. Justin Gray has written a bunch of stuff for DC, mostly hand in hand with Palmiotti and Conner which brings me to the problem. I personally feel Palmiotti is a terrible writer.
His work is all the same, usually overstuffed with useless characters who are either bland or stereotypes of something and he's not funny.

Now, when I first read this series this name meant nothing to me but if you've read this blog at all you've probably read me cursing his name at least once for bringing such an obnoxious Hardly Quinn to life in her ridiculous solo. Of course, now I recognise the name it's easy to understand why I abandoned this series so early.

Mr Gray I have no opinion of apart from not minding the Catwoman Convergence and tossing aside the Power Girl/Harley Quinn nonsense. That and I honestly think he has sold his soul to Palmiotti because there is something else going on here. Maybe we should see if he's okay.

Birds of Prey Episode 3: Prey for the Hunter

We open on Oracle and Huntress having some girl time... sassy chats in the earpiece while Huntress punches some creepy acid tongue lizard thief guy..... Wow that's pretty specific.
Anyway, Huntress is bemoaning not being normal, that bad guys keep ruining her outfits and the victims aren't even worth helping. Ouch. Bad day much?

Not as bad as her perp's. For one thing, he's got that acid tongue thing going on, then he gets punched a lot, doesn't get to keep his stolen wares, is thrown in a dumpster, and then something else throws him OUT of the dumpster giving him a wicked boo boo in the process.



Meanwhile in our CGI cop shop, a new transfer from Bludhaven does a meet and greet with Reese. Turns out he's chasing a serial killer who never uses the same method twice.

Reese takes on his Mulder Jr. and they decide to take down this freaky deaky killer gorilla. After the shortest working day in history, Reese heads out onto the street where he is promptly scared shitless by Huntress jumping down five storeys in front of him.


Huntress tries out her 'I saved your life, you owe me confidential investigation details' but gets shot down pretty fast. They both have a mini temper tantrum with Huntress vanishing and Reese blatantly jaywalking into traffic playing chicken.

Meanwhile back at the Clocktower, Barbara finds out that the perp was killed via his own acid.

As far as they're aware Metas mostly always have different powers (must not have any knock-offs or sidekicks in this universe then) so they decide to have Helena question some mysterious guy in No Man's Land.

Dinah wants to go too but Barbara denies this request saying not on a school night but here's the address anyway!

Batman: Arkham Knight - Batgirl and Harley Quinn #2

"Caged Animals" 2/2 2015

Writer: Tim Seeley

Pencils: Matthew Clark

Inker: Sean Parsons

Colours: Rob Schwager

Letters: Travis Lanham

Where we last left off, Harley Quinn had just let loose a tiger so in this issue Barbara runs away screaming about an angry wild animal loose in Gotham.

Well, yes, it's a wild animal but angry? It's probably friggin' scared because someone set it's cage on fire and now it's surrounded by new smells, people, noises.. and oh yeah, more fire.
Maybe I'm a bit defensive of my stripey kin but it seems wrong to just assume the tiger will try to eat someone because it's a tiger.

Barbara blames the kid for not giving it his... elephant ear? Is that what hip young Americans with Bat fixations call fairy floss these days? Anyway, she gives the kid to a random carny to look after (pretty trusting of her. Nothing against carnies but the next thing she says is that she has to stop a killer clown.. how does she know Harley's not associated with the circus?)

I enjoyed seeing how she decided to get hyenas as sidekicks. I don't know if I've ever read a sort of origin story for Bud and Lou apart from 'they're here, they're awesome, get used to it'.

Batman: Arkham Knight - Batgirl and Harley Quinn #1

"Caged Animals" 1/2 2015

Writer: Tim Seeley

Pencils: Matthew Clark

Inks: Sean Parsons

Colours: Rob Schwager

Letters: Travis Lanham

This comic is based on the Batman: Arkham Knight game series and opens with Batgirl cornering Killer Croc and his comical way of skipping leg day in a sewer. There's a sort of time skip where we don't get to see what happened before but Batgirl's in the gross water like substance so I assume it's not going well. 

Then Batman comes in and flashbombs Croc before kicking him in the face and telling Batgirl she's an absolute disgrace to him and was only going to get herself killed. She's like well I found this scaly jerk didn't I? Batman sticks to his parental guns - saying that she's been warned several times about getting in his way. 

Can you imagine someone saying that to Batman - especially when he started out? That would only make him more determined, yet he somehow thinks this angry speech will make Batgirl go home and burn her costume? Um, no. 

As it is, I'm pretty sure she flips him off. 

 Next we visit Arkham Asylum where it's completely miserable weather even though it was fine in the sewers.. well, a little too red in the sky if you know what I mean but I guess Arkham Asylum has a clause about certain weather outside for them spooky asylum shots.

Dr. Harleen Quinzel pleads her case for Joker's transfer out of the high security wing in order to better his mental health.




Sounds legit, right?

Not surprisingly, she's shot down by the board because they seem fairly competent at their jobs.

Batman Beyond: Comic Adaption

Let's face it - adaptions are hit and miss.

Things are cut out and missed in film adaptions because there just isn't enough time in the movie to include every awesome detail that the books had.

What about comic adaptions of already existing movies though?





In case you haven't watched Batman Beyond... go and watch Batman Beyond. And then come back.

Anyway, Batman Beyond is set in the 21st century Gotham City and features a new Batman - former bad boy turned hero Terry McGinnis who is reluctantly mentored by original Batman Bruce Wayne.
This says a lot about him because Batman Wayne has always been extremely strict with his Batgang and who can represent him and his symbol, even if he is too old to be the Batman himself anymore.
Terry  is enjoyable to watch and seems genuinely suited to the role of Batman. I am personally disappointed in the way he spells his last name, but I guess that's not exactly his fault.

What we're going to talk about today is the comic adaption of the straight to video movie based off Batman Beyond titled Return of the Joker.

Elseworlds: Batman - Thrillkiller

Published: 1998 

Writer: Howard Chaykin

Art: Don Brereton

Letters: Bill Oakley

Originally published as three single issues in the name of Thrillkiller '62, this collected volumes remains my favourite Elseworlds story and one of my better Batman related stories.

If the name didn't give it away, it's set in 1961 for the first part and then 1962. We're introduced to two vigilantes, Batgirl and Robin who seem to always show up wherever dirty cops make an appearance.

The art is pretty unique, dramatic and although it's more reminiscent of painted posters there's a definite feel of movement in it which is something that most modern artists fail to capture.

Batgirl has an exposed midriff but she's not oversexualised. Her physique and strength is the focus even though she's defined as so gorgeous she could give showgirls a run for their money.

This is something else most modern comic artists suck at portraying.

In case you're not familiar with it - the entire Elseworlds concept is to take existing characters and put them in different settings for a standalone story. For example, Gotham by Gaslight features a version of Batman that chases down Jack the Ripper.


So in this incarnation, Batgirl is the main hero with Robin as her sidekick. Her father is still the commissioner while Bruce Wayne - having lost all his families money in the depression has since found work in the GCPD.

Naturally, the world's greatest detective in bat ears is good at his job but never quite fits in with the others but gets along with and respects Jim.

Retro Review: Harley Quinn #12! Quintessence Pt 4

A Date Which Will Live In Infamy!

Nov 2001

Last issue, Harley had escaped the Bat-gang, Nixon was creating trouble, Batman shed his disguise and the Quinntets had captured Jack and Di Happi... while Chispazo has been taken to a secret room in Harley's hideout.

This issue literally opens with the Happi's perspective... tied together, upside down in an elevator shaft with Mr. Chitters - the vengeful monkey with the razor sharp cymbals for company.

Harley and the Quinntets have more important things to do than hang around and watch where the lift stops at. At least, they think they do, because Harley hasn't told them her exact plans for the evening yet.

Kenny is on Nixon's side.. his loyalty being extremely tested between blood and boss.

Nixon springs his coup just as Bo and Surley bust in - expecting only four or five henchmen buuuuuut.....

Nixon has been a busy little recruiter.. but luckily,  this slight distraction starts a massive free for all battle royale.

Retro Review: Harley Quinn #11! Quintessence Pt 3

The Girl is Bats

Oct 2001

Last time we had two Batgirls - one is Harley Quinn in disguise as classic Batgirl and the other is Cassandra Cain, reformed assassin, woman of few words but needs no words to kick your butt - falling to their inevitable demise via the short walk, tall wall, flat street pizza method. 

 Even though the heroine/anti-heroine is in imminent danger, we open with a flash back of classic Batgirl Barbara Gordon in her hey-day, taking out Mad Hatter and his goons.

Speaking of goons, eagle eyed viewers (or every kind of viewer, now I'm pointing it out) may spot our jack of all henchmen Kenny Two-Bear!

Barbara flashes back to the fateful events of The Killing Joke but is brought back to present day by her beau in blue, Nightwing! I know I'm not alone in saying this was a popular OTP and this scene shows it with their flirty yet relaxed banter.

They're interrupted by Robin, asking for help from anyone but Nightwing, but Nightwing ain't taking that lying down (or standing up for that matter) and races out to help.

Retro Review: Harley Quinn #10! Quintessence Pt 2

Brilliant Mistake

Sept 2001

When we last left Harley Quinn, Killer Croc has just rendered her unconscious by using her as a bowling ball in her own bowling alley, no less!



Luckily, her subconscious (consisting of Angel Harleen Quinzel and Devil Joker) is here to help her snap out of it.

I love these two. Harley Quinn knows deep down that she should really listen to Harleen and that Joker is a bad influence, but the way these two characters interact with her show that she thinks Harleen is a buzzkill and even though she knows how bad Joker is, and they're all broken up.. he's still the tempting voice of fun to her, and is no way as abusive to her in real life.

That and she's pretty fast in reacting, thoroughly bewildering Croc before stabbing him with some pins and also some blows to his self esteem.

Three strikes, and Croc is out!



Pretty impressive, given that Croc often gives even Batman a headache. Harley has the element of unpredictability as well as the home turf advantage even though she's injured.

Batgirl Adventures #1

Today we're looking back at Batgirl Adventures #1!

This one debuted way back when in Feb 1998 and is credited to Paul Dini and Rick Burchett with colours by Rick Taylor.

Right away the cover grabs your attention, it's the classic Batman Animated series red sky and stylised city scape.
Batgirl is her usual exuberant self, leaping into action with the shadowy figures of Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy looking on.

The only thing that detracts from this awesome cover is Batgirl's ridiculously small feet. I mean, really, what is this foot binding Barbie crap?

Oh right, it's just some Bruce Timm artwork. Say no more.












We open on civilian Barbara Gordon walking along after buying her Christmas goodies and nearly getting mowed down by a literal clown car. If America is anything like Australia, then yes the pedestrian has right of way,  but in the clown car's defence Barbara wasn't even looking at the road and did not check both ways. Barbara encourages inappropriate vigilantism and road rage by going to beat up the clown car driver, and is for some reason, surprised to see a a cannon emerge from the car.

Babs, you live in Gotham, why does literally ANYTHING surprise you anymore? I mean, a clown car in Gotham never just means the circus is in town (although to be fair the circus never seems to leave town either) it means that it's either the Joker or some other super villain up to no good. 

That, or the registration standards for vehicles in this town is beyond a joke.