Justice League vs Suicide Squad #3

March 2017
Writer: Joshua Williamson
Pencils: Jesus Merino
Inks: Andy Owens

This cover isn't bad - I do question what's going on with Batman's legs though. And I don't think they've in any way contained Wonder Woman or Aquaman. Flash kinda looks like he's playing Wii tennis or DDR or something. I do like what they did with Waller and the title of the issue. It's not groundbreaking by any means - pretty sure Waller does this pose at least once every appearance she makes like it's her default character standby mode, but still... when it works, it works!




The two variants just focus on Harley Quinn and Wonder Woman, and like the recent review I did of Wonder Woman: Agent of Peace - the name 'variant' is ironic as there's little to be found here. Both covers feature Harley leaping through the air with the greatest of ease, wielding a weapon and a maniacal smile with which to somehow beat down on Wonder Woman - who stands her ground with less a look of determination but exasperation that these foes think they seriously have a chance, and make her calculate how to destroy them without accidentally killing them with her left pinky finger if Wonder Woman slightly waves her hand without warning.

Both covers take place in some sort of empty void where the only thing apart from the characters are a couple of yellow bursts of gunfire or hammer blows. As usual, the Conner cover is less appealing to me than the other one, which is done by Laura Martin. By Conner's logic, Harley's been suspended in mid-air for some time now, and has been shooting through enough bullets and clips to almost bury the Amazonian, yet for some reason Wondy is only NOW doing something half hearted to stop her? More flash forwards to Agent of Peace again. By contrast, the Martin cover (apart from Harley's face and waist) doesn't look too bad - I like Harley's pants and the fact that it looks like Harley is only wearing face paint, (without her dumb eyeshadow!) and the rest of her body is normal... and Diana is moving in to take her down. Yes.

Well, when we last left off, the Squad was fighting with the League - kind of. Then Killer Frost took out Superman and everyone got frost bite. What? I'm not wrong!

Justice League vs Suicide Squad #2

Cover shows us the new team teased at the end of issue one.
They all seem like lesser known people with Lobo planted right and centre to garner some interest.


Variants aren't that exciting. Oh wait, talk about your versus battles, it's my favourite Harley Quinn solo team versus the my loathed Harley Quinn solo team!
Isn't it funny how both of them do the same thing but one is just instinctively more crap?

Both cover sequences take place in the same empty void apparently. Did the industry run out of background artists?

So, Conner has Enchantress striking a ditzy pose, she's upset and looking like she gotta pee but has to stop Ballerina Superman from bro-fisting her first. Her feet are clearly on the floor but there's no floor there, and it's not exactly Superman's style to freakin' plow drive opponents into the ground unless they're like Doomsday or something. In fact, knowing his weakness to magic, why would he engage in close quarters combat instead of trying to take her out from a distance with like freeze breath or something? Only compliment I can really give this cover is that Enchantress' outfit looks okay.

The Dodson's take has Enchantress at least looking like she's about to strike at Superman, she looks controlled and calm, Superman on the other hand looks cautious, like he's not sure about engaging this magic user. Dodson's do capes so much better... they actually look like real fabric, interacting with the wind in this featureless void..... I like that Enchantress has occult symbols appearing with her magic. Only critique would be that Superman's either really bendy or he's missing a leg.

Right, so the actual comic. Turns out, Waller has a perfect view of the money shot here on this random island. I think there are only like, five characters with their feet on the ground here.
They're all actually fighting and have all paired off.

Also Waller has injured her best pointing finger somehow.

Perspective... that ain't it, Chief. 

Harley Quinn in DCeased - Issue 1

So this year's Marvel Zombies kicks off with... oh wait, this is DC. Hmm.
Well, I gotta say I approve of the name. Very good with branding. On point, even.
Still, can it live up to Marvel Zombies? Wait, it's not zombies but a plague? Oh, like Contagion! Yeah, that was an ace comic too.

Let's have a quick look at the synopsis...

“I looked, and there before me was a pale horse! It's rider was Death, and Hades was following close behind him.”-Revelation 6:8

A mysterious techno-virus has been released on Earth, infecting 600 million people and turning them instantly into violent, monstrous engines of destruction. The heroes of the DCU are caught completely unprepared for a pandemic of this magnitude and struggle to save their loved ones first…but what happens to the World’s Greatest Heroes if the world ends? New York Times best-selling writer Tom Taylor (INJUSTICE) returns with a terrifying new tale and is joined by artists Trevor Hairsine (LEGENDS OF THE DARK KNIGHT) and Stefano Gaudiano (The Walking Dead).

Wait... it's sort of plague zombies but technologically sparked then physically transmitted?

.................Is this like a smartphone STD public awareness campaign??
Greeeeaaaat, I'll just put it here besides the one for Herpes-Bathwater.







Opening up on the Justice League ganging up in the schoolyard to harass Darkseid. Scenes like this make me so thankful for Green Arrow.. like, he is such a welcome relief against the stark stone faces of the rest of the League. Ha! The Uncomfortable Interacting With Others and Emoting  League, more like. Wow, I could be a founding member!
Seriously though, it's why I was so disappointed with CW's Flash and Green Arrow. Maybe Flash was a bit more like his comic counterpart, but they were both going for the gritty Batman sort of serious hero, but the core part of their character is their cheerful, humorous and understanding, empathetic personality. I get they were trying to avoid going too camp, but when you have to introduce other characters as comic relief when you should be able to have your main character be that - it's not right. It's like how I feel, when Harley Quinn's first cinematic appearance is slugged with her trashy New52 persona instead of her actual personality.

Right, the other thing I wanted to talk about with these opening pages is the fact that every other Justice League comic seems to recycle the whole "OHMIGAWSH BATMAN IS KEEPING TABS ON US! SHOCK HORROR!" I'm not one to normalise this stalky behaviour but it's like.. did they never meet Batman before this? Like, he's openly told them before he has a contingency plan in case any of them go rogue... does this just constantly get retconned?

This is a core part of Batman's character and it's also very important to have someone on the team be prepared, because frankly no one else on the League is going to do it. Like, Flash and Superman and Wonder Woman would never think bad of their colleagues, but then again, how many times have the heroes been corrupted and used against the people they love or the people they've sworn to protect?
Who else is gonna stop a super powered time bomb? A paranoid loner smarty-pants Bat, that's who.

Retro Review: Harley Quinn #19

June 2002
"Going out with a bang!"

I gotta say it, this is one of my favourite covers ever. Even my non-comic reading extended family loved it. It is an absolute classic, like something you'd see in a Looney Tunes comic.

Now, when we last left off, Harley was 'helping' her buddy Bizarro find the perfect mate, until things got a little too.... involved. With an onomatopoeia parody of Rice Bubbles, Harley is zapped from behind with the Bizarro ray by the Dr. Chance. Meanwhile, Bizarro has a tantrum but calms down enough to be told that the Doctor needs Harley in the target area again. Harley on the other hand, thinks it's high time she skedaddled.

Of course, not before she ticks that one thing of her Metropolis tourist hit list...

Yep, officially meeting the Big Blue in the Red Underoos. Although most folks don't get to do it up, up in the air. ................Okay, I'll behave.

I like how NICE Superman is. Batman would have straight up Batarang-clothesline'd her. Harley takes to the skies to try to evade him and thinks she succeeded... but..

Heroes in Crisis #4

Surprised this one wasn't "look ma, no hand!"

The punnage! The Dad Joke level of it all!

Wow.... murder is never the most glamorous of things - despite the whole noir/detective/spy gigs that keep popping up but good gravy does Harley look freaky here!
I turn the page and see Aquaman crying out in pain, grasping the mangled remains of his arm with his good hand and think 'aahhh, that's better.' Then I feel bad. But no tooo bad, because I'm pretty sure lil ol' Arthur got a gold hand to sob into afterwards.




Alright, first off - I love this scene. The mural, Donna casually carrying her drunk from mourning team mate, the graffiti credits, the lighting... it's just great.

We haven't really seen much of the Titans apart from... well... Wally. We do get to see Donna's confessional. Also... new outfit? I kinda like it... but I do miss the star cluster outfit with go go boots. 

She starts talking about the Troy that Helen and a few others made famous. 

At first you're like, okay, not everyone wants to talk about themselves, that's cool. But then you're like - she is. She's Donna TROY. She is still sore about DC screwing up her timeline and for the most part, her life. Clever way of saying so. Flash has a way with words too. 

Well... four letter words. 

Heroes in Crisis #2

After what seems like a year we finally have issue two and it could be more controversial than the previous issue, which actively killed off heroes.

How, you ask? Yes, well, we'll get into that.

In the meantime, relive Batman's eternal back pain Bane. You can almost hear him screaming at the person taking the picture to get off their ass and help him. Well, classic Harley did over to the left, but then there was the whole strangling thing, sooo....












Opening up with another therapy session - this time a joint venture with Poison Ivy - and then later Harley Quinn because we can't have another Gotham City Siren in the spotlight! Their scene is kinda cute, but they probably shouldn't have a red and black fourth wall breaker do the boop.

I mean, I don't believe Deadpool has the monopoly on the boop (especially if heckin' puppers are around getting startled) buuuut there are enough comparisons between the two already without making it super obvious that this is what DC is going for. 

Heroes in Crisis #1

There's been a lot of controversy over this particular comic so let's have a look at the first issue and see what the deal is, shall we?

Now this is only a nine part series so expect a lot of variant covers. This one issue has five, alone.

Some I get... some make sense with the comic and some are just... why is this here?

Anyway, the premise is about a Superhero Therapy Centre and the What Could Possibly Go Wrongs?


Harley Quinn and Booster Gold are the main features here, so hopefully they'll be written good because when done right, these two are good characters. Sadly, it does seem like Harley is just shoved in anywhere because she's making mad money for DC.

What the hell is this supposed to be?

Superman/Batman #19 - The New Adventures of Supergirl, the Girl of Steel

Here is a comic, well, a trade paperback that I purchased back in the day, purely for the Harley Quinn cameo. This is what people like me had to do back in the day just to catch a glimpse of my domino-ed sweetheart. Sigh. This morning I rolled out of my Harley Quinn themed bed sheets while wearing my Harley Quinn pyjamas and underpants, took a dump on my red and blue toilet paper, ate my Harley-O's while reading the newspaper about Maggot Robbie's flat butt doing something inane and pointless (like her tiny tits HA).

Then I put my hair up in alternately coloured pigtails and checked my emails, which was full of comic and collectables stores asking me to buy more Harley Quinn statues so they don't starve this month. Afterwards, I tried to go shopping but there were too many ironic tweenagers wearing Suicide Squad gear for me to get past the pop culture stores and their Harley Quinn themed face punches.

Yep, it's definitely a different time today alright.
And now that I've finished ranting like an old fogey, I'm going to go sit out on my porch and yell at people to cut their damn hair.

Oh, you're still here. Well fine, you damn dirty hippie, let's get this show on the road.

One thing - I did not mind this book at all. It was actually pretty interesting, funny, had some genuine threats and it was a good opener to a new Supergirl. There was a few blah moments like the angsty teenage girl stuff and the evil twin cliche.. but I didn't hate on that. Supergirl felt like a real person and that sort of characterisation sells the book for me.

What I didn't like... was the art. It's actually visually great but MY GOSH the elongated torso on Supergirl.. the endless abdominal 'V', her terrifyingly tapered feet... that kind of ruined the book for me. That and every other issue in the trade involved some dramatic punch that somehow looked great but ruined the dramatic punch thing because it was usually an entire splash page and you knew to expect it. Also the artist loves capes. They make them look great but sometimes I feel like I'm looking at cape-porn

That sounded weird. But if you've read the book, you'll know what I mean.

Retro Review: Harley Quinn #15 Metropolis Mailbag

Feb 2002

A really nice cover here - Harley just layin' around... picking um, a lot more than a a few flowers. Is she playing Love me Love me not or just spelling out her name? Let's hope Poison Ivy doesn't see her doing whatever this is or it may just be convenient that she's in a graveyard. 

I really like that Harley Quinn carries a hand bag around. It adds a fun level of realism to these larger than life comics. 

This issue opens with someone sending in their mail to Chance@Love - Holly Chance's romance advice column at the Daily Planet. This is a recurring subject in this issue, so watch out for our our guest star later on. Meanwhile, Harley Quinn herself is out robbing a garden supplies store and mocking it's employees. 

She's having a bit of fun doing this and doesn't want to leave until Poison Ivy formally advises her that their business there is concluded and Harley can drive. There is apparently nothing more that Harley Quinn loves more than racing around erratically in a drop top. Yep, even more than puddin'.


But there is something else missing from her life.. she says it's Thorn but she pretty much just symbolises a challenge. 

After a hard night's larceny, Ivy goes out for a sun-bake but warns Harley not to be late for her new job. It's fine though! Harley assures Ivy that she has a built in clock and for her, oversleeping is a physical impossibility!

So naturally she's several hours late for work - Harley truly is all of us. 

Suicide Squad Theory

If you haven't seen The Fangirl on YouTube, then you really should.
I get annoyed at people who always bring up conspiracy theories and hidden messages all the time (like anyone who's been shown the same Disney 'connections' over and over again) but I can watch The Fangirl without getting angry. Plus her voice is very soothing.

Her Coraline theories are excellent and show a lot of creative thinking and different perspectives so when I saw she had a Suicide Squad theory I was drawn in.

Click the link here to go to the video I'm referencing.

Even people who like the movie have to agree that there are a lot of plot holes and unexplained hoo-hah in that pile of flaming dog doo-doo and anyone that thinks they can make sense of it deserves a listen. Unless they worked on the movie, in which case you can ignore them forever. 

"Now picture this hand is your last few movie choices - I want to see disappointment.. sadness and.... PERFECT!"

Action Comics #765 A clown comes to Metropolis

May 2000
Writer: Joe Kelly
Pencils: Kano
Inks: Marlo Alquiza 

Superman Action comics?

Joker and Harley Quinn?

No Batman? No Gotham?

Luthor's bodyguard's name being used as a pun?


Oh my yes.

Ladies and Gentlemen - this is one of my absolute favourite Joker and Harley Quinn comics.

OF ALL TIME!















The opening set up of Metropolis is great - showing you the city and how the residents go about life in this hyper-techno city.

I also like how we have two women with different shapes and different faces.

This is something you'd see if you looked outside the window, read a magazine, watched television... yet so many artists struggle with this.

Kano - probably not the same as the one from Mortal Kombat - does this easily and the facial expressions are ace. The techno-poodles scare me though. To be honest, normal poodles do that too.










Unfortunately, these residents are so absorbed in their own lives they don't realise who they've just crossed paths with until it's too late.