Birds of Prey Episode 6: Primal Scream

Well, it's been a while since I've done one of these, and even though this iteration is elseworlds, it's still more canon than the "Birds of Prey" movie so let's go!

Detective Reece fiddles with the fancy new ring he got out of a Christmas cracker, then lo and behold...HUNTRESS APPEARS! She had to wait until the ambulance passing distracted him so she could make her grand arrival, so she was probably sitting up a tree waiting patiently for a few minutes. He's impressed by her timing, she's bragging about her speed like she's a pizza delivery or courier mail service, he wants to get onto talking about kicking it up a notch in their relationship, she's not sold and I'm over here thinking HOW did she know where he was AND how did she get there so fast, she just has to be stalking this guy, seriously.

Anyway, they're off flirting or whatever it is that's not an emergency but meanwhile, the club is getting shot up by a bunch of motorcycle dorks wearing animal head pieces. I mean, I'm kinda impressed by the skill it must have took to ride the motorbike and hold up a club while wearing something that may impede your vision, but the furry in me is offended at how lazy their costumes are. I mean, just the heads? No tails or anything?? Maaaaan!

That said, it may not just be a gang gimmick because when the bartender pulls a gun, Cathead does some super speed ninja-ing to save a wolf friend. Props for this one thug to go the cartoon route when their colleagues clearly decided on an ultra-realistic theme. You might even say this lone wolf went against the pack mentality? Hehehe.

Then just to show she's super cool, cat lady downs a random drink at the bar which is a very bad example. I mean, that drink could have been spiked, backwashed in, or just taste feral.
This gang at least seem to care enough about each other, and are also their own hype men. But wait... why does cat lady have a similar necklace to the one Helena was wearing? Her penchant for leather outerwear and fancy violence?? Probably because...

*pause for dramatic reveal*

It IS Helena!

Harley Quinn animated interview

So... I read this article recently.. 

Metro.co.uk Harley Quinn's Kaley Cuoco and Lake Bell clashed over swearing limit on foul-mouthed DC series Abbie Bray 03/12/2019

....and it confirmed some things.

Kaley Cuoco and Lake Bell clashed over their characters in the Harley Quinn animated series for who could swear the most per episode – but who do you think had the last F-word? 

The foul-mouthed cartoon sees Kaley star as the titular anti-heroine, who decides to break up with the Joker and become a supervillain in her own right, teaming up with gal pal Poison Ivy (Lake) to join the Legion of Doom. Although what fans don’t know is that the show has a limit to how many swear words they can use per episode. And as a result, the stars had a bit of healthy competition by revealing they would try to claim more F-words for their characters. 

‘We don’t shoot together,’ Lake told ET. ‘We don’t record together and there’s often a fight.’ 

‘About who gets more [F-words],’ Kaley added. ‘Did Lake take the last f*** again?’

The over the top swearing made the adult themed show just that much more juvenile... like hearing Maggot Robbie spit out 'pussy' because she was under the impression that that's how you show that your character is so much more fearless than the Joker. Just... trying too hard and ultimately failing. Unless she was trying to cover us in spit, in which case she may have succeeded.

And speaking of the woman who has doomed all of my searches for the ACTUAL Birds of Prey or anything Harley related to end in her gross mug showing up, here's what the executive producer had to say about it.

Birds of Prey (and the fantabulous emancipation of one Harley Quinn) Trailer #1

Today I watched the Birds of Prey trailer.
Kinda wish I hadn't.
Well... this will be an ultimate breakdown, and believe me, when you screen cap this stuff you realise how much time is spent yet again on Harley as opposed to the rest of the motley crew.
Also how much everyone slags the Birds of Prey TV show when this looks to be in the same vein.




Hardly Quinn walks down a neon street asking someone if they know what a harlequin is.

She goes on to explain in a weird, drunken voice that 'a harlequin's role is to serve, they're nothing without a master.' Actually, harlequins were more like advisers to royalty and were the only ones who could basically tell the king he was a frickin' gobshite without losing their head over it.

Cut to Huntress in a old looking church for like a split second.

Back to Hardly Quinn in a bar after she got drunk and fell into a pile of sequins and diamontes.

She's talking to the race swapped Black Canary... who is apparently a smoker? Um, lady - your lungs? The ones you need to screm? Alright, good luck scremin' loud with laryngitis.

"Gurl, don't even try to talk to me, you a mess."

Hardly tells Canary; 'No one gives two shits who we are beyond that.' Ah, this is some meta reference that no-one cares who the Birds are because Hardly is taking all their screen time.

WB/DC logos in that miserable half pink half blue dye job that would otherwise get you dropped from beauty school.
Hardly cuts her pigtails... slightly? I guess this is character development in her mind.

"Sometimes I cut myself.. but I'm not splitting hairs over it."

'The Joker and I... broke up.' Cut to a terrible drawing of the Joker as seen in his original comic form being stabbed and slashed. Ironic that his image is damaged, yet his tattoo is mysteriously absent. Hmm.

"Screw you for leaving me out of your great movie, Pheonix!"

Hardly throws more knives at it and it turns out she's a pretty bad shot.
Cut to Gotham apparently half on fire and what could be Montoya sashaying towards the flames.

Only a split second mind. Who cares what new catastrophe has befallen Gotham now because HARDLY HAS BOYFRIEND TWUBBLES!
'Need a new start but as it turns out I wasn't the only gal in Gotham looking for emancipation.'

**Black Canary intensifies**

BrazzersExtra - Riley Reid (Harley in the Nuthouse XXX Parody)

The irony of Harley being straight-jacketed in a padded cell while still wearing her killer stilettos is not lost on me.

She's also got a lot of make-up and hair product in. Like.. how long has she been in her cell? Is she not going to get like, a ton of zits and knots from this?


Movie takes about 2 minutes to warm up with some back story - a brief into to some new doctor being brought into Arkham Asylum but for the most part it's a glorified photo shoot for Harley.
Which is fine, but a lot of the shots are repeated and I don't mean they recycled the footage, I mean they reshot NEW footage of Riley doing what she had been doing before. Namely, biting at the camera, licking her lips and acting crazy while lights flicker and someone starts tunelessly humming a "la-la-la" song.

Again, is fine I guess. Even though she's hamming it up with a Hollywood version of fun-crazy, it's still more believable than Maggot's Suicide Squad Harley.

Did I mention I liked the name of the last one I watched? Yeah, this one's better. At first I wasn't impressed but then I was like.. did they just fetishise a crazy person while simultaneously making a male deposit joke about asylums? Niiiiiice.

New doctor warned about avoiding Harley's cell immediately goes to Harley's cell and goes inside.
I'm not even mad. This could be actual writing from a DC comic about their under-trained, easily duped doctors.

Once inside, new doctor is a bit more confident but then screen fades to black as apparently Harley fells him with her baseball bat... that she presumably hid in her hidey hole, retrieved and then used while she was still restrained?
Damn. Gotta work on my kegels before I let the team down apparently!!

10 Things DC Wants you to forget about Harley Quinn!

Oh no, another Youtube based post! When will I ever learn? Well, The Key of Awesome is on hiatus, so is Epic Rap Battles of History and A Dose of Buckley, and I'm all caught up on pretty much everything else I care about on Youtube so here we are.

Here's the video.

Here's me.

Here's my post where I ramble on for hours on end about why I agree or disagree about the dot points.

Watch out for the random ambiguous point! There's one in every post! ...Apparently.

#10 Harley Quinn was only meant to be a cameo

Uh.... yeah. I don't think anyone's ever tried to hide that.

One of the first parts under her Wikipedia page reads:
Harley Quinn first appeared in the DC Animated Universe's Batman: The Animated Series episode "Joker's Favour", in what was originally supposed to be the animated equivalent of a walk-on role; a number of police officers were to be taken hostage by someone jumping out of a cake, and it was decided that to have the Joker do so himself would be too bizarre, although he ended up doing it anyway. Thus they created a female sidekick for the Joker; she would become his love interest.

From the IMDB page about the episode in question;

Originally, the script called for the Joker to appear in drag. The writers decided this was out of character for him and created a one-shot female character to fill this role instead. The character became extremely popular and was soon upgraded from one of Joker's goons to a major player in the Rogues Gallery: Harley Quinn.

VERDICT: UNSURE

I agree with the statement that Harley's character was initially supposed to be a cameo but I disagree that this is something DC is trying to hide. 

#9 Harley Quinn is a relatively new character

What? Confused here. Why is this some scandalous secret that DC is trying to hide from us? I would say the vast majority of Harley fans already know she was shown in 1992 - the rest are the couple of fans of Harley from the Suicide Squad movie who seem to believe that monstrosity was the first incarnation and everything else is some archaic cartoon for old timers.

Besides, how exactly is DC trying to hide this when you can easily see it on every Wiki about her and it often comes up as a 'fun fact!' about the character. It's pretty iconic how she became the first cartoon character to jump across to the mainstream comics in DC barely a year later.

Video/OP need to elaborate here. If DC was trying to insinuate that Harley was a part of some classic Batman stories like the Killing Joke, A Death in the Family, The Man Behind the Red Hood etc or films like The Dark Knight or Batman (1989) for example when she wasn't even in continuity then - well yes this would be some dodgy business.

Verdict: UNSURE 

As above, need more information. Are they hiding her big production year or trying to say she was always there from the beginning? An example of this would maybe be in White Knight when she was there during Robin's torture.

Birds of Prey trailer released

You know why it's called a trailer? Because they're often linked to vehicles. As in.. my fears are becoming founded.. and Maggot Hurley is just erasing the entire awesome of Birds of Prey in favour of a Harley Quinn fame train because.. because she has Hollywood clout.. and likes herself too much I guess? I'm not linking it, if you wanna waste half a minute of your life then you can search for it.

The actual title of this movie is
Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn)

Well...... when a 34 second clip of a DC comics title Harley Quinn has literally nothing to do with shows about 25 seconds of Maggot Hurley swanning around acting drunk and trying to do the seductive lollipop thing but failing miserably... aaaand the ACTUAL Birds of Prey get squished into a couple of seconds with a hideous amount of quick shots - so quick you can barely tell what's going on and who anyone is. Plus, the titular Birds have to share this time with what's supposed to be the villains, I guess and then the whole 'fade to black/see you soon' thing.


So... that's really disappointing. Not gonna lie.

Besides, you can't just whip out a fantabulous word like you're a knock off Willy Wonka!
Girl, you're not even a second rate drag queen!

"Guess who went dumpster bin op-shopping again! .....MEEEE!!!!"

I remember reading something she said back when Suicide Squad was about to come out - something about how she read a couple of comics and just didn't 'get' the character. Man, this is becoming clearer and clearer each day. I mean, I GET wanting to make a 'new' version of a character for the big screen, I do. Lord knows everyone else freakin' has their own version of Harley Quinn. At the same time, if you're not going to even be true to a tiny bit of the character's origins... why bother?

Next it'll be an unfunny Joker, a Batman that shoots people and a Superman that doesn't care.
OH WAIT.

Harley Quinn: Monarchs

There are two things here - either this is happening or it's not.

At first when I saw the headline for Swiss actress Lara Pictet to play Harley Quinn in a web series named Monarchs I was like cool, it's not Margot Robbie and this one's actually pretty. Again, still don't get the hype over Margot's looks. Maybe people like that but to me, she's just another Hollywood blonde but with squinty eyes and a penchant for ruining my favourite characters and flashing her (word here used generously) bits.

Honestly, people hack into celebrities personal photos and release sensitive ones - you know, illegally, and they are forced to defend themselves for their private actions/called sluts or worse. Then on the other hand, we have Kim Kartrashian and Maggot Robbie making a living off showing their nekkid selves and no one has an issue? Smells wrong.

ANYWAY - there's not much about this series but some pages say it's a new web series that is DC inspired and they're hoping DC will pick it up officially.


The concept of the show is basically a 'how this person became this villain' origin stories series.




Here's what some interviewers have posted about it - nothing official from DC yet.

Harley Quinn takes over Batman Day??!?!!

Okay so it's Harley Quinn's 25th anniversary this year and DC is going to celebrate by giving her several covers for other issues (they haven't done THAT in a while, right?) as well as giving her Batman's annual celebration... wait, what? 

Yes, the fourth year Batman had a celebration after reaching a 75 year milestone... and he gets kicked off for a character who's only at the 25 year mark? Huh?

As much as I like Harley Quinn... it pains me that we have yet to have a Wonder Woman or Superman celebration.. or you know.. a day for any other good character that will never see the light of day as long as the Quinn is making money. It's also painful that they're celebrating Harley Quinn's 25th year after pretty much destroying what made her popular in the first place and replacing it with a.. look there's no other word for it. OBNOXIOUS ASSHOLE. 

Seriously, check out this panel and tell me it's not obnoxious. Go on, I'll wait for you while you read it, roll your eyes a few times, skull several neat whiskey's and then drag yourself back to this page. 

The other thing that pisses me off is that we also had International Talk like a Pirate day this month and it got less attention than this crap.

Birds of Prey episode 2: Slick

Thus begins our recap of episode two of Birds of Prey. 

Above, we have the cast as predominantly featured in the comic series. 

Barbara Gordon and Black Canary are the main characters followed closely by Huntress. The roster usually varies but here we have Lady Blackhawk (Zinda Blake) as well as Hawk and Dove (Hank Hall and Dawn Granger respectively) 

As you might remember, the television show is only loosely based on this series and I think that's partly why it didn't go over so well with audiences that weren't ready to comprehend alternate universe Bat-characters and bad special effects. 

Barbara Gordon - former Batgirl and current Oracle survived the transition pretty seamlessly. Huntress here is actually the offspring of Batman and Catwoman and is meta-human. Which means she's got half of her mother's random cat powers and all of her dad's gloomy attire and punchiness. 

Dinah is the most random.. she's super young and has mental based powers. 

Birds of Prey episode 1: Pilot

Alright - finally time to get back into Birds of Prey: the 2002 TV show that was a bit too far out there or perhaps early for it's time. Heaven knows today is the golden age of superhero shows being green lit left right and centre even if they're corny AF.

I think one of the main problems this show was that it was sort of an Elseworlds story. People would watch it and be all like who's Helena Kyle? Why is Dinah a little psychic kid? Where's Batman? What's a meta? Nothing, what's the meta with you? Haha I joke.

Alfred Pennyworth narrates our intro which shows a lot of CGI city porn... uhm, a lot of CGI city po- I mean, a lot, a lot a lot a lot of CGI city po- there's Loo-LOOOOOTS of CGI city porn, HUGE huuge amounts... ch-gk-gah.... LOOOTS!