Harley Quinn And The Birds Of Prey

You can probably guess that I've put off reviewing this one for as long as I can.

April 2020

The creative team that transformed Harley Quinn forever returns to shake up her world once more-and this time, the gloves are off! Harley Quinn has avoided Gotham City ever since she broke up with The Joker and found a home, and a kind of family, in Coney Island. But when she gets an offer she can’t refuse, she has no choice but to slip back into the city as quietly as she can, hoping to be gone before anyone-especially her ex-learns she’s been there. But for Harley, “as quietly as she can” is plenty loud…and before she can say “Holee bounty hunters, Batman,” The Joker’s sicced every super-villain in the city on her pretty ombré head-and the only team tough enough (or crazy enough) to come to her defense is the Birds of Prey! The foul-mouthed, no-holds-barred sequel to one of DC’s raciest runs is here! Get on board early, before we come to our senses!

So, the team that messed up Harley Quinn for iterations to come decided to break their 'Harley Quinn retirement' now that there's more media focus on her than usual, they can smell the dinero from a mile away.. and in doing so are going to schlock out their usual off brand catch phrases, show how absolutely annoying their Harley is, and forget that she's been seen in and out of Gotham several times during their run.

Going from that blurb, this is meant to be a direct sequel to the recent movie I guess?

The cover already made me lose what little hope I had. Here are five women of diverse nationalities who all have the exact same face and body type.  The characters in the movie (if you can call it that) were already so distanced from their comic counterparts, but here while they look a bit more like the characters they're meant to be - we still get to tell them apart by their accessories. 

LOL Montoya has doughnuts, she must be a cop! Ha, Cassandra is such a little cat burglar, look at her hoodie with cat ears and how she's stolen Huntress' arrows! 

Also.. are the Birds in Coney Island because otherwise what's with this backdrop of Harley's hotel full of her extended roster of bit-parters if she's supposed to be in Gotham? 

The only thing I LIKE about this cover is the can that says "Oh, happy spray!" but come on, that's not exactly original either, is it?

Birds of Prey: Sirens of Justice #1

Not content with her own comic empire, a successful Gotham City Sirens run and a miserable attempt to encroach on the Birds of Prey universe via cinematic vomit, DC has decided to combine all three of these elements to make this Birds of Prey: Sirens of Justice - The inclusion of one Harley Quinn.

Sigh.

At least going from the cover art and the involvement of one Gail Simone, this should be better than that hideous movie-comic tie-in we had before.

Fight or Flight
May 2020
Writer: Simone
Cover: Lupacchino and McCaig
Interiors art: Miranda

As much as this cover is actually visually appealing - I'm a bit concerned that Harley is basically wearing as knock off version of Canary's outfit. Remember that old design guideline where it was basically law for any TV show/movie/comic etc that had more than one female, that they all had to wear a different style top etc? Anime fans would be familiar with uniformed school girls having extremely varied socks - same kinda thing.

They even go as far as to include fishnets on Harley's get up though - like.. a blonde wearing fingerless gloves, jacket, booty shorts with the same belt, fishnets and then the matching mid-calf black boots? COME ON. That job's been taken already!

I really wish they had taken a page from some of the other outfits Harley has worn, like Arkham City, Assault on Arkham, Gotham City Garage, Joker TPB, Injustice and even the rare Suicide Squad where she has pants and a functional looking outfit..


The interior art is  very much a step below the cover. I'm not really a fan of Miranda's art. At least here there is a bit more to differentiate Harley and Canary, although I stand by my previous comments about Harley needing a better outfit because she looks ridiculously out of place compared to the people she's with, to the extend someone could have poorly photo-shopped her in.
The background work is very nice though, so points for that.

Happy about Simone being back in the saddle - her dialogue between the Birds seems natural and fits their respective personalities, plus her Harley sounds less like an inbred hick and more like someone who genuinely has a bit of an accent/dialect.

My first issue with this first issue though is that it opens on "Later. Ten blocks away and thirty stories up..." which could work for the intrigue aspect but it just happens way too often in comics. Like, flitting between then and now is fine, but didn't we used to just have the comic open and THEN have the later/earlier sequence pop up? This reeks of Conner/Palmiotti. Ugh.

Next issue is immediate.
Harley Quinn is making all the decisions for a team she's not even in and everyone else just goes with it, while making vague comments about her mental capacity.

Birds of Prey Episode 6: Primal Scream

Well, it's been a while since I've done one of these, and even though this iteration is elseworlds, it's still more canon than the "Birds of Prey" movie so let's go!

Detective Reece fiddles with the fancy new ring he got out of a Christmas cracker, then lo and behold...HUNTRESS APPEARS! She had to wait until the ambulance passing distracted him so she could make her grand arrival, so she was probably sitting up a tree waiting patiently for a few minutes. He's impressed by her timing, she's bragging about her speed like she's a pizza delivery or courier mail service, he wants to get onto talking about kicking it up a notch in their relationship, she's not sold and I'm over here thinking HOW did she know where he was AND how did she get there so fast, she just has to be stalking this guy, seriously.

Anyway, they're off flirting or whatever it is that's not an emergency but meanwhile, the club is getting shot up by a bunch of motorcycle dorks wearing animal head pieces. I mean, I'm kinda impressed by the skill it must have took to ride the motorbike and hold up a club while wearing something that may impede your vision, but the furry in me is offended at how lazy their costumes are. I mean, just the heads? No tails or anything?? Maaaaan!

That said, it may not just be a gang gimmick because when the bartender pulls a gun, Cathead does some super speed ninja-ing to save a wolf friend. Props for this one thug to go the cartoon route when their colleagues clearly decided on an ultra-realistic theme. You might even say this lone wolf went against the pack mentality? Hehehe.

Then just to show she's super cool, cat lady downs a random drink at the bar which is a very bad example. I mean, that drink could have been spiked, backwashed in, or just taste feral.
This gang at least seem to care enough about each other, and are also their own hype men. But wait... why does cat lady have a similar necklace to the one Helena was wearing? Her penchant for leather outerwear and fancy violence?? Probably because...

*pause for dramatic reveal*

It IS Helena!

Birds of Prey (and the fantabulous emancipation of one Harley Quinn) Trailer #1

Today I watched the Birds of Prey trailer.
Kinda wish I hadn't.
Well... this will be an ultimate breakdown, and believe me, when you screen cap this stuff you realise how much time is spent yet again on Harley as opposed to the rest of the motley crew.
Also how much everyone slags the Birds of Prey TV show when this looks to be in the same vein.




Hardly Quinn walks down a neon street asking someone if they know what a harlequin is.

She goes on to explain in a weird, drunken voice that 'a harlequin's role is to serve, they're nothing without a master.' Actually, harlequins were more like advisers to royalty and were the only ones who could basically tell the king he was a frickin' gobshite without losing their head over it.

Cut to Huntress in a old looking church for like a split second.

Back to Hardly Quinn in a bar after she got drunk and fell into a pile of sequins and diamontes.

She's talking to the race swapped Black Canary... who is apparently a smoker? Um, lady - your lungs? The ones you need to screm? Alright, good luck scremin' loud with laryngitis.

"Gurl, don't even try to talk to me, you a mess."

Hardly tells Canary; 'No one gives two shits who we are beyond that.' Ah, this is some meta reference that no-one cares who the Birds are because Hardly is taking all their screen time.

WB/DC logos in that miserable half pink half blue dye job that would otherwise get you dropped from beauty school.
Hardly cuts her pigtails... slightly? I guess this is character development in her mind.

"Sometimes I cut myself.. but I'm not splitting hairs over it."

'The Joker and I... broke up.' Cut to a terrible drawing of the Joker as seen in his original comic form being stabbed and slashed. Ironic that his image is damaged, yet his tattoo is mysteriously absent. Hmm.

"Screw you for leaving me out of your great movie, Pheonix!"

Hardly throws more knives at it and it turns out she's a pretty bad shot.
Cut to Gotham apparently half on fire and what could be Montoya sashaying towards the flames.

Only a split second mind. Who cares what new catastrophe has befallen Gotham now because HARDLY HAS BOYFRIEND TWUBBLES!
'Need a new start but as it turns out I wasn't the only gal in Gotham looking for emancipation.'

**Black Canary intensifies**

Birds of Prey trailer released

You know why it's called a trailer? Because they're often linked to vehicles. As in.. my fears are becoming founded.. and Maggot Hurley is just erasing the entire awesome of Birds of Prey in favour of a Harley Quinn fame train because.. because she has Hollywood clout.. and likes herself too much I guess? I'm not linking it, if you wanna waste half a minute of your life then you can search for it.

The actual title of this movie is
Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn)

Well...... when a 34 second clip of a DC comics title Harley Quinn has literally nothing to do with shows about 25 seconds of Maggot Hurley swanning around acting drunk and trying to do the seductive lollipop thing but failing miserably... aaaand the ACTUAL Birds of Prey get squished into a couple of seconds with a hideous amount of quick shots - so quick you can barely tell what's going on and who anyone is. Plus, the titular Birds have to share this time with what's supposed to be the villains, I guess and then the whole 'fade to black/see you soon' thing.


So... that's really disappointing. Not gonna lie.

Besides, you can't just whip out a fantabulous word like you're a knock off Willy Wonka!
Girl, you're not even a second rate drag queen!

"Guess who went dumpster bin op-shopping again! .....MEEEE!!!!"

I remember reading something she said back when Suicide Squad was about to come out - something about how she read a couple of comics and just didn't 'get' the character. Man, this is becoming clearer and clearer each day. I mean, I GET wanting to make a 'new' version of a character for the big screen, I do. Lord knows everyone else freakin' has their own version of Harley Quinn. At the same time, if you're not going to even be true to a tiny bit of the character's origins... why bother?

Next it'll be an unfunny Joker, a Batman that shoots people and a Superman that doesn't care.
OH WAIT.

Birds of Prey Episode 5: Sins of the Mother

After all this talk of the Bird of Prey movie that at this point just seems to be a vehicle for Maggots instead of the story we deserve about the ACTUAL Birds of Prey, I just felt like watching something where even an alternate version of Harley Quinn is better than the mainstream garbage. 

Not pictured: Hollywood bimbos stinking up everything

So let's get into Episode 5 of Birds of Prey: Sins of the Mother.

Ahhh my CGI p0rn... how I have missed you.

Where was I? Oh right.. the inventively named New Gotham Station is our first stop, and also our first bad train pun on my behalf. But... who is this strange lady?

Well I'm guessing she's someone's mother from the title. I knew I should have gone to Detective School. Damn! A wasted opportunity!!!

Anyway, blonde lady glares at the city then puts on some dramatic sunglasses. After yelling "YEEEAAAAAH!" stalks off into the throng of unwashed masses wandering around the set. Immediately, a thug appears from stage right and makes a phone call. Like... was he just staring at her the whole time. He's not exactly inconspicuous. He makes a call from a bright sunny exterior into some musty, dusty, afternoon type lit room full of weapons and some dude in a suit.

Turns out our new lady friend has a price on her head. Musty Man (Fitz?) tries to tell some other guy about the new development but Sitting Down Clown only wants to instruct him on correct breathing techniques or something.

Pictured: My face when people try to get me into yoga