Harley Quinn And The Birds Of Prey

You can probably guess that I've put off reviewing this one for as long as I can.

April 2020

The creative team that transformed Harley Quinn forever returns to shake up her world once more-and this time, the gloves are off! Harley Quinn has avoided Gotham City ever since she broke up with The Joker and found a home, and a kind of family, in Coney Island. But when she gets an offer she can’t refuse, she has no choice but to slip back into the city as quietly as she can, hoping to be gone before anyone-especially her ex-learns she’s been there. But for Harley, “as quietly as she can” is plenty loud…and before she can say “Holee bounty hunters, Batman,” The Joker’s sicced every super-villain in the city on her pretty ombré head-and the only team tough enough (or crazy enough) to come to her defense is the Birds of Prey! The foul-mouthed, no-holds-barred sequel to one of DC’s raciest runs is here! Get on board early, before we come to our senses!

So, the team that messed up Harley Quinn for iterations to come decided to break their 'Harley Quinn retirement' now that there's more media focus on her than usual, they can smell the dinero from a mile away.. and in doing so are going to schlock out their usual off brand catch phrases, show how absolutely annoying their Harley is, and forget that she's been seen in and out of Gotham several times during their run.

Going from that blurb, this is meant to be a direct sequel to the recent movie I guess?

The cover already made me lose what little hope I had. Here are five women of diverse nationalities who all have the exact same face and body type.  The characters in the movie (if you can call it that) were already so distanced from their comic counterparts, but here while they look a bit more like the characters they're meant to be - we still get to tell them apart by their accessories. 

LOL Montoya has doughnuts, she must be a cop! Ha, Cassandra is such a little cat burglar, look at her hoodie with cat ears and how she's stolen Huntress' arrows! 

Also.. are the Birds in Coney Island because otherwise what's with this backdrop of Harley's hotel full of her extended roster of bit-parters if she's supposed to be in Gotham? 

The only thing I LIKE about this cover is the can that says "Oh, happy spray!" but come on, that's not exactly original either, is it?

Naturally the comic opens on a dream sequence because with these two at the helm, why wouldn't it?

Now, points where they're due - the Doomsday line was actually funny but it looks like we're supposed to find Harley and Ivy's laughter about Superman's distress regarding Jimmy Olsen way more hilarious? 

Fortunately, this dream sequence doesn't last long and Harley wakes up to someone's foot in her face because all of her Gang of Harley's are sleeping in her bed in various stages of undress. Ignoring how impractical that is given how much literal space Harley owns in Brooklyn or even the large amount of floor space in her own bedroom - it's a bit inappropriate seeing as how they're all co-workers and Harley is their boss. If I was looking for the positive, I'd say this was an attempt to show how liberal and carefree they all are, but it's probably more like getting away with as much almost-nudity and semi-titillation as they can to keep the reader's attention. "Raciest runs" indeed - which given their version of Harley means half naked people making diarrhoea jokes, albeit not in a fun way.

We get a whole page of Harley being uncharacteristically silent while sneaking up to the roof to contemplate before Conner and Palmiotti's favourite cameo appears, with some cock-amine story about a 24hr pet store or something. Harley starts going on about all of her stresses but has enough time to crack on Power Girl several times.. because... not taking "no means no" is funny if it's Harley I guess? 

This brings us to our regularly scheduled flash back. Turns out Ivy took Harley out to an island for a day and Harley thought  the best way to force her company on another woman would be to not anchor the boat when specifically asked to, so Ivy would have to stay there with her alone, and presumably just make out the whole time. She then gets upset because Ivy is mad at her and eats all of their rations in one night. Ivy then has to put up with Harley's lame attempt at humour, because that will make the starvation, thirst, sunburn, wild weather events, not getting home for who knows how long and presumably losing the deposit on the boat ALLLLLLLL better. 

They're rescued by one of their plot conveniences -  uh, I mean one of their friends who just happened to have access to a satellite, knew to look for them and then had access to a helicopter. The sob story continues because after her Florida holiday of unknown length, and then her 5 or so day vacation, the unscrupulous loan company Harley used for The Dreamin' Seaman hotel notice she's failed to pay up and take it out on the building and also Big Tony. 

The concept of no insurance is as foreign to Power Girl as it is to me, so it must be an American thing, I'm guessing? I mean yes, people can choose not to take out insurance, or under-insure themselves here but... this is a hotel we're talking about. If it can't be insured due to excess code violations - how can it be allowed to operate as it is?
Even if it's just being used as a home base for the Gang of Stereotypes Harleys, it seems ridiculous.

I mean, it's sign is lit up and clearly it's full so it must be operational, yes?

I don't know and I don't keep up with this teams's take on Harley enough to care about what the situation is... but it seems the point is, Harley decided - nay, chose to use a mortgage group SHE KNEW would get shady if they weren't paid... didn't pay them and is now upset that the overhanging threat has come to pass on her friend and the only decent character she has in her books. So naturally I predict that later in this issue there will be a revenge sequence, because none of this can be Harley's fault, clearly. 

I'm not saying the financiers were right in what they did, and it seems a bit bizarre they would torch the place if they want Harley to keep paying for it but at the same time, you can just tell Harley sees herself as the primary victim in all of this, despite nothing being at risk if she had just fulfilled her obligations either to the financier or to her "friends" by fixing the place up so she COULD get it insured by someone reputable. I'm also guessing Harley will kill all of them too, because that's comparable to her suffering. 

SPOILER ALERT - about five pages later. 

I see we're also taking a page from the R rated movie and self named animated title to cram every swear word in here also. Edgy...

Anyway back to where we were, Harley and her swarm of multicoloured hanger on's storm the hospital, ignore rules, contribute to the over-sexualisation of doctors and nurses, insult the wounded Tony, hurt the already wounded Tony, try to kill the wounded Tony and end up making Tony apologise for... not telling Harley to pay up? Then they change the subject to Harley's Ivy problems? WOW. HOW does this jerk have any friends around her at all?? 

...probably because they're morons who keep making the same stuffed beaver jokes?

Now we're at the revenge scene - and yes, Harley along with a few of her goons straight up murder at least five people, and also mutilate the corpse of overdone Inigo Montoya references. Then it cuts to the big boss who seems to ... fawn over Harley saying that her killing his employees and destroying his base of operations in Brooklyn is "the best TV" he's seen in years? Weird flex, but ok...

Aaaand here we go, the awkward mish-mash of the movie and comic universe. Huntress spotted chilling in the rafters and "bad guys" talking about the Joker putting a price on Harley's head. 

Harley takes a train but is annoyed that one of her henchers and Red Tool show up, so later she sneaks out and cuts the carriage off from the rest of the train - I mean, screw everyone else who had somewhere to get to safely, right? - and here's where the movie/comic mish-mash continues - we see the Joker for one brief and half covered panel. 

Harley decides to change outfits before Gotham - not sure what happened, I mean I was under the impression that she never changed or washed her usual work clothes but hey. Huntress appears, apparently to warn Harley of the impending threat to her life because some goons entered the train but probably more so to have her walk in on Harley half undressed and have Harley talk her ear off about stupid shit while prancing around in a underwear that seemingly mocks the holy foundation of WWE while simultaneously promoting her other dodgy fashion choices. 

What the fashion designer of Suicide Squad should have done.

Huntress goes on about a mob boss named Defeo.. Wait...............Are you telling me a crime boss used his actual name for the dodgy finance company? What an idiot. 

Huntress goes on about avoiding casualties on the train but Harley just talks about her penis shaped bats and then goes on to threaten all of the innocent people on the train, then goes on to insult a hired goon who tries to shoot her about his manners. What a jerk. 

Pictured: girl power?

This is probably the truest to character Huntress has been all issue (apart from the creeping around in mobster buildings) but it's written like she only took that guy out because he insulted her? Which is weird. Also weird - apparently Cassandra Cain IS a mute ninja in this universe. 

Which means there are probably some people who are only picking up this comic because they saw Suicide Squad and/or Birds of Prey &tfeoohq and are now utterly confused about the amount of characters in this comic, why Black Canary is white and Huntress appears black, and why Cassandra isn't a lame thief with a knock off Harley motif anymore. 

They finally arrive in Gotham and meet Montoya who tells Harley to get back on the train and go home. My hero!  

The Short End of the Jester Schtick

I am confused about why this comic exists. I get they were going to try to cash in on the movie that came out... but Harley's also in an actual Birds of Prey run now. And crappy as that might be, it's streets ahead of this mess. I'm guessing that the creative team behind this mess threw a hissy fit that they weren't profiting off of it enough so DC threw them a bone to keep them quiet... why else would we need two of this schlock around? 

The positives of this comic is that the backgrounds and locales actually look okay, and there has been more of an effort made to have the Birds appear more comic accurate. The downsides of the comic is that it's just another example of what the 'creative' team do best - have Harley steamroll other characters with no consequence, like what they did to my poor Wonder Woman. 

Which is just like what the movie was.... the Harley Quinn "look at me" show instead of a team up movie. Y'know, for a team she's not even on or had any hand in creating. RIP Oracle. 

There was a genuine attempt to at least give a backstory as to why Harley needed to go to Gotham and why she's in her current situation... but it's still very bare bones and flimsy with more time spent on Harley hitting on anything that moves and talking herself up instead of actually making a cohesive plan to sort out the mess SHE is responsible for. 

Bonus Panels!

Swiper, no swiping copyrighted characters!

This is the official blurb that came with the comic. I take issue with several things here, namely, it wasn't Harley's home that burnt down, the little bit about the money she needs existing and belonging to Joker wasn't exactly in the comic, her plan for stealing it is apparently brilliant but we've never heard of it so it's probably not. 

Then the blurb goes on to butt kiss the team - calling them legendary and implying that they're going to be funnier than ever before? I'm still waiting for anything legendary or funny from this issue apart from Superman's take on Doomsday, and even that wasn't exactly a side splitter.