Wonder Woman: Agent of Peace #1

Commitment to Chaos

During a run-in with a villainous crime syndicate, Wonder Woman learns about a hit list whose biggest target is a familiar name – Harley Quinn! Can the Champion of Paradise Island track down the Clown Princess of Crime before it’s too late?

Writers: Conner/Palmiotti
Artist: Miranda

Colours: Hi-Fi

April 2020

There's not a lot of variation in these two covers, Wonder Woman looking "off-screen" at whatever threat she's countering. Harley Quinn acting tough behind her, and in BOTH covers manages to make direct eye contact with the reader. I'm not the biggest fan of Conner's artwork.. but good gravy it looks like something from the Louvre next to the horrible body shapes and contortions that the variant gives us. What happened to variant Diana's shoulder and stomach?? Why are variant Harley's boobs looming like visions of doom from the future.... larger than life and certainly larger than her head! 

I first became aware of this comic from the Wonder Woman fan page on Facebook, and the majority of comments were "Why is Harley here? She's way over-saturated" which  is true, she really is. Combined with the fact that both the former writers and artist hail from the Harley Quinn solo series, there is not a doubt in my mind that Wonder Woman is going to get sidelined in her own series. 

The last time these two got involved it was like a really weird fan fiction where not only was Wonder Woman sidelined, but she was really out of character for the sake of having her team up with the Brooklyn Babbler. 

Well, I'm wearing my Wonder Woman shirt.. let's see if this issue is at least better than that time. 

Opening on Wonder Woman wandering through some city - we get some exposition about buildings collapsing randomly followed by some real estate fraud but it doesn't say where she is. I haven't kept up as late with the current Wonder Woman but she used to be based around Washington DC either for her museum or Dept. of Metahuman affairs, New York for her embassy or Boston for her agency.. 

I guess we're in generic USA City. Wonder Woman looks a bit like a strung out supermodel and because it wouldn't be a Conner/Palmiotti book without it, there's obligatory scenes of both gushing fan girls and authoritarian-stereotypical tough guys for the heroine to beat up. 

Anyway, jumping past any real backstory about what exactly happened with the collapsing buildings and the exact research that Etta helped with, Wonder Woman just turns up at Simon Wickett's building/base of operations, even though it appears to be some time in the evening and knows for sure he will still be there. There's some more exposition about how he's too wealthy and well connected for authorities to touch him.. I guess this could be a Wonder Woman story but it seems like it'd also fall into more Batman territory as well - maybe depending on what city it's in as well. Like yeah, Wonder Woman would definitely be able to handle this but it does seem a bit... pedestrian? for someone of her talent and power. 

Apart from the interaction with the fan girls... which itself is a bit strange, seems more threatening than concerned for the girl's safety - no one seems to realise Wonder Woman is the real deal and assume she's just some woman in a realistic cosplay outfit. Anyway she has to knock some heads and kick her way into the building but then takes the elevator like a civilised person. 

Well she was taking the elevator until Simon - some failed plastic surgery version of John Travolta or an ugly second rate Jackie from The Darkness and his sidekick Pita, the cheap version of mohawk Storm decide to reveal their entire dastardly plan and then magically drop the elevator with a push of a button.

Are you guys reading this too? I feel like if any of these crimes were true they'd make for a much better story than what we have so far. If anything, this is a villain that should have been introduced earlier in the story, and then built up to this confrontation. Then if they * absolutely * had to drag Harley Quinn in to cameo the f*** out of this series, it could be done in a later issue. 

But then they wouldn't be able to cash in on her marketability straight away. Imagine - Wonder Woman having to bank on Harley Quinn - UGH. 

Like - does this guy not know who he's dealing with? He referred to her by name, but then thought he could kill her with an elevator. Characters - in particular, new ones - are not a strength of this writing team but DAMN this could use some work, seriously! 

I could even kind of get behind such a blatantly open douchebag villain, one who's above playing mind games and strategy with the protagonist but he's in this thing for like five seconds so I don't have the time to get interested. We don't get the background on his crimes, only the brief exposition so we don't have time to get invested. Cherry on top, his final word refers to flights, like he doesn't realise Wonder Woman can fly. 

Now she catches up to these losers of course but they've set dynamite up and blow it up just as they're leaving in their helicopter. This seems like a really daft move. I mean, people would notice a helicopter leaving the area right before an explosion. Secondly, you'd assume this guy's workers were in on it but we never see them again. why empty a building but leave a fully furnished reception complete with worker there? The security I could sort of understand... only why would they even be needed at this time of night? Shouldn't the building just be locked? Besides, we never see them again so did they get out or are they victims now too? I sure as hell wouldn't have been defending a building I knew was going to blow up shortly so vigorously. 

The other concern is that Wonder Woman mentions specifically a concern about 'something' being in the explosives or the building that made her - a demigod - feel unwell. 

If you think this is a plot point - tellin' ya now don't worry about it because it won't come up again.

I think it made the editors feel funny too because we get an exact repeat of Wonder Woman's internal monologue from prior to entering the building. If it wasn't for the smoke in the background I'm not sure I'd be able to tell the difference between the before and after shot here. 

No-one is so well connected that they can just drop buildings in a post 9-11 America and just walk off scot-free. Experts can be bought off to explain why the building just went, but a building with absolutely NOTHING inside, no staff despite their late opening hours, dynamite residue, eye witness reports of superheroes leaving the building, helicopters leaving the scene seconds prior, a building where an ambulance was called for moments beforehand, smoke and debris raining down in the local area (particularly if they DO contain toxins that would make the people ill) should raise enough questions for someone to pick it up..... and this is without the suspicious paper trail and the fact that this dork didn't even attempt to hide his tracks. If you ask this guy if he's the one behind nefarious plots, he'll just roll over and say aww, ya got me copper! 

What even is this?

Right, well anyway, moving over to Coney Island for some schlocky reason - Harley is wielding (yes, actually wielding) a birthday cake for Sy Borgman (who isn't his usual crappy self here) on the roof top for a convenient reason, like they know someone who flies is just gonna pop by. It's not like Harley doesn't own the whole building or anything, or lives with a million people who would happily cram themselves into the panels for a party. 

So it's just these two people on the roof with a giant cake until Wonder Woman shows up with her... freeze breath? Super breath? ....Is this a thing she does now? Even if she has that power, why would she use it where it could clearly be a hazard at worst or a waste of cake at best?

So Harley latches onto Wonder Woman and begins to take control of the narrative. 

Gee, I sure hope they aren't discussing anything of importance..

Is this the same night as before? Anyway, Harley and Wonder Woman go to a diner because Harley's alllways hungry HAHA that's a personality, right? And their waitress tries to assassinate Harley. Just straight up, no nuance, a million witnesses... what the hell? The protagonists even point out that they're sitting right next to a window, could this not have been a sniper thing? 

Harley has the great idea of taking the knocked out assassin back to her place because she has an idea on how to make her talk. It's said in the casual, very obvious way that one would discuss waterboarding potential terrorists or helping a prisoner down the stairs, and Wonder Woman - owner of the world's shiniest truth lasso - just hoists up the assassin and goes YEP can't see any moral reason to object to this!

Then Harley even takes over Wonder Woman's love of ice-cream - is nothing sacred?

Well we're back to the old poop catapult so I guess not!

"I don't agree with what you're doing, but I'll just stand here passively while you do it anyway."

All it takes is a carafe of ice water and two panels and the assassin rolls over like the world's laziest dog. She also tells them to expect the next assassin as she's now failed her mission but her wording is to expect them IMMEDIATELY - so my questioning would be how are these guys keeping in touch? At the end of the comic, Weird Travolta-Darkness just assumes Harley would be dead by now so he's clearly not keeping tabs on anything as petty as basic communication lines.

Harley then catapults the probably-in-the-wrong-line-of-work assassin causing Wonder Woman to fly off and save her. Wonder Woman doesn't even chastise Harley for this, she just sighs a bit and then victim blames the assassin. Harley - who is supposed to be Wonder Woman's biggest fan - apparently forgot that one of the most well known superheroes in DC could fly. WOW, shade much?

Then things get a bit weirder.. Wonder Woman escorts assassin to the police to be arrested on her word alone, and they cops question if she's really Wonder Woman, causing Harley to break into the most awkward and forced defence of Wonder Woman ever. Which is basically "just take my word for it!" and "look at all of her body parts!" Between this, referring to the most powerful woman on the planet as a pussycat and calling the assassin a hit-hussy without even taking the time to get to know her, Harley's really going for anti-feminist of the year, huh?

Taking attention away from the cops who don't even seem to care that a criminal just willingly walked into their den, it's time for the next assassin. It's basically a Poke-ball with two new regional Pokemon. Wonder Woman - she of the speed and strength and wisdom - asks Harley for ideas on what to do. Let me rephrase that - Wonder Woman - she of the speed and strength and wisdom, she of the 'I can fight demons, demigods and sorceresses in my sleep' and of the "I do this on a weekly basis" - ASKS a mere, annoying mortal for a plan to take out two vaguely defined threats because she's over her head apparently? Never mind that she could have taken them both out and saved all the teleporting cops and everyone else in the building in the blink of an eye.. sheesh, what an L to take!

Harley decides to throw doughnuts, luring the beasts outside where they're promptly run over by traffic. This assassin just saunters over and says "yeah I give up, you're out of my pay grade and I didn't know you'd be here." That's fine, and mildly funny, but at the same time.... you threw a red ball at Wonder Woman. You can't exactly say OOPS didn't know YOU'D be here. He gives up the other two assassins and surrenders for an autograph.

The next assassins come in a pair because we spent too much time farting around with Harley and don't have time to spend on these two. Hell, these two don't have time to spend on each other either! Imagine being a team and not even knowing what your other half's powers are. I mean one of them goes on to exposition about another assassin's power set that presumably the other assassin they're with already knows about. That's kind of embarrassing, and leads to things like fights, mean comments, mishandling of dangerous scenarios and oh yeah, really, really, awkward dialogue.

But... you're not much difference in height than the other guy? What?

And, tying back into the guy who hired them - who are they talking to on the phone? Is it him? Because if two of my assassins failed within about half an hour of each other and the other two aren't even on the scene, I sure wouldn't be so confident at the end of this issue that my problem would be dispatched. Just saying. 

Of course, these two get severely rolled as well, and inform on their boss. Which is interesting, because he had no fear before, but now when he arrives at the airport and sees both Wonder Woman and Harley he is terrified and curses the assassins for ratting him out. This would be a lesson in NOT hiring assassins using your own name and ensuring the other assassins know all about each other as well. But... hang on... he'd already told Wonder Woman what his plan was, she basically knew where he was going to be. And... hang on, this is meant to be the next day or something, right? So this guy - leaves wherever he was in a private helicopter, and presumably goes to his private airstrip to his private plane to fly to another airport? Maybe they should have established WHERE the opening part of this comic took place for this to make more sense. Also - does this guy have to be there in person to blow up the buildings? Imagine being rich and powerful enough to hire assassins and have no fear of the authorities... but you still go around doing your own dirty work. Dedication, or plain stupidity?

Also this - wasn't there a plot about Harley's crappy building almost being knocked down and then rebuilt sometime before this? Then she had to leave because she was a crappy landlord and kept turning into a bat? Pretty sure Big Tony should be the landlord because he's the only one doing work on the building while Harley just shrugs off any responsibility for the place.





Wonder Woman tells Harley not to use the rocket launcher that she's clearly picked up and carried from her home all the way to the airport including the damn runaway where she's standing there aiming the damn thing, and Harley's just shooting this thing. Wonder Woman makes no effort to stop her or to make any serious rules or even to stop the rocket hitting the plane. Why would you even need a rocket launcher if you have Wonder Woman? Well, this Wonder Woman seems pretty ineffective and seemed scared that the plane wasn't landing. Woman, you can fly. You could probably lasso the damn plane or sword-slice it's wings off. If you want to ground this plane, they don't have a hope in hell of stopping you.

Then it's all over, Imitation-Darkness-Travolta does his "noo hearing this pasty tart rant is worse than prison!" schtick, which, you know, I feel that, but it also makes me kinda mad that Harley, who heard about this guy a few hours ago gets to do her big enraged soapbox rant while Wonder Woman who has actually been doing the legwork to get this criminal put away just stands there without saying anything. She attempts a bit of backbone with admonishing Harley about almost killing people all the time but Harley's like NAH pretty sure it's fine, let's go eat! Then all is magically forgiven... because..
..............brunch solves moral quandaries and third tier buddy movie rip offs? 

The Short End of the Jester Schtick!

I've said it once and I'll keep saying it - these writers are just the worst in my opinion. 

Their version of Harley is one of the - if not THE - most annoying iterations I've ever come across - there is absolutely no reason for her to be in this story. 

In their less than capable hands, Wonder Woman - a major heroine known for her tact, diplomacy, wisdom and compassion as much as her world shaking strength and other powers - becomes someone who seems to enjoy terrifying and confusing passerby's when they tell her of their interest in her, who has no idea how to wish someone a happy birthday without coming off as a socially awkward recluse and seems incapable of speaking or adhering to her own moral code when confronted with everyone's favourite corporate shill. 

There is no way someone like her should be able to just be walked all over by one Harley Quinn, but she does! She just stands there like a great useless lump while Harley runs her mouth and constantly steamrolls this wet cardboard version of Diana. 

"But I'm just going to stand here passively and not stop you from shooting it for some reason."

All Wonder Woman had to do was warn Harley about the assassins (another rehashed plot point) and the possible destruction of her building (yet another rehashed plot point) then go and stop the bad guy. This team up wasn't needed, didn't add anything - and actually detracted from the story because it gave the impression that the (usually) amazing and capable WONDER WOMAN couldn't handle this villain/situation and the ONLY person who could possibly save the day was HARLEY F***ING QUINN. 

Apart from that all of the other new characters are shite. What sort of assassins just roll over so easily and beg for mercy? The only one that had a sliver of personality was the Red Ball guy who apparently doesn't like seeing things suffer despite setting up weirdly elaborate kill plans... but like, he's forgettable AF too. Again the main villain could have been interesting if he'd had more than ten seconds of time and more development with his backstory and prior offences. 

And oooh did it grind my gears with DC doing Wonder Girl so dirty lately that Harley tries to take HER moniker too! This is why I read my comics online because if I paid for this tripe I would be livid. Hopefully these writers won't be staying for the rest of the Wonder Woman series.

This issue didn't even explain why they wanted Harley's building anyway?? 

Wotta Comedian!

Pedestrian: Oh wow! Is that really you? I mean, are you really Wonder Woman?

Wonder Woman: I... yes.. That is what I am called. 

Pedestrian #2: Gee, your hair smells amazing. What do you use?

Wonder Woman: The milk from Amazonian golden, three horned psychic goats. 

Pedestrian #2: Really?

Wonder Woman: No. Some shampoo with a strawberry on the label. It was on sale. 

Food Stall Guy: How did you survive that?

Wonder Woman: Stubbornness. 

Sy Borgman: Gendsel, whatever number of candles you have on that bonfire of a cake, double it and add a few years. 

Harley: You can call me Wonder Girl!

Wonder Woman: No... no I can't. 

Harley: Ya rotten ratbag! Look whatcha did ta my food!

Wonder Woman: Harley, she just tried to kill you!

Harley: Yeah, an' she murdered my innocent dinner instead! 

Yiddish translations with Sy!

MISHEGAS: Crazyness

GENDSEL: Not really sure about this one, but he's referring to Harley so it's either affectionate or a derogatory reference to one's mental state. 

PLOTZ: To split, collapse, crack, burst or explode. 

TCHOTCHKES: Object that is more decorative than functional, like a trinket. 

SHEYN MEYDL: Pretty girl.

TUCHAS: The booty butt. 

VUNDER FRAYND: Bastardisation of Wonder Friend. 

MENSCH: Person of integrity and honour. 

Bonus Panel!

Did you lose a sock without mussing up your knee protectors, Harley?

I want my lawyer! I want my collar back! I want my face lines back! I want some background in this void of a prison! I want my hair to match the last four panels I was in!