DC Universe Harley Quinn #62

Alright, this one I've been putting off for a while because just reading this comic exhausted me. More on that later.

Anyway, first cover is fine I guess, but the Enchantress' face is scarier than I think the artist intended. Plus, is Harley offended at being called an idiot or is she so far removed from being a jester now that she has no idea what 'fool' means in context?

Cho's cover is a lot better than normal - actually fits the comic's theme and does a good job. It's still weird seeing Harley in the classic costume but not wearing her domino mask. It's like leaving the house not wearing shoes or something. Weird. Doable depending on where you're going, but still like... weird. Also Catwoman's helmet straps dangling seem like an unusual liability for her.

So - why am I exhausted?

Well....

This is page one. 

Did we not get rid of this million speech bubbles bull crap already? And for good reason? 

I'm not the kind of person to baulk at reading - I love reading, and I read fast. I read comics, novels of fiction and non, magazines, blogs, newspapers, flyers, cereal boxes, the really small fine print you get in contracts, HELL - I'm that person that actually reads the pamphlets that come with medication! 

So it's not just the sheer amount of words that are a problem, it's the obnoxious way it's shoved in our faces, complete with randomly sized and differently coloured key points so you don't fall asleep reading the damn thing. 

So, to break it down - Harley - talking to us via the fourth wall - recaps the WHOLE last issue again. She does this while literally being burnt at the stake because PRIORITIES, clearly. Then the whole thing is supposed to be her 'testimony' to Tina, trying to prove she's not crazy. Harley's supposed to be smarter than this, like PhD smart, yet she can't take a second to read the room? She KNOWS people here don't understand her, yet she makes no effort, even when her life and the life of Catwoman is on the line, to pretend to be normal and speak clearly?

Would you talk the same to the CEO of your company as you would to a toddler? How about an astrophysicist versus a grade schooler? An English literature professor against an immigrant who knows only basic translations? Your best friend or your worst enemy?

NO. 

Anyway, the art is still pretty sucky with weird expressions and an overly cartoony aesthetic that doesn't seem the match the supposed danger that the pair are in. 

Then speaking of overly cartoony, the next page is a new artist and/or style entirely. Which is fine, they're doing a bit, it's one page. My issue with it is that it's presented in a comic page style within a comic, and it's unclear if this is what Harley just happened to have on her person to show Tina... umm... without it somehow catching on fire? Or if this is what she's verbally conveying to Tina, or something else. 

Because we go from a demonic looking Tina declaring that both Catwoman and Harley are to be burnt to death, to cartoony exposition page to immediately Tina going OH WOW YEAH YOU'RE SOOOOO NOT CRAZY I'M SUDDENLY ON YOUR SIDE NOW FOR SOME REASON.
I mean it's literally this - Harley shows her or tells her the story in this one page comic, despite already going through this stuff earlier in the same issue and Tina straight away goes from 'death to the heretics, oh they're so insane!' to 'WHAT I've been enslaved?! Die, Enchantress!' 0 to 100 REAL quick-like.

You know it eventually has to happen but this just seems so... random? Like... Harley had spoken to her before and it had no effect but now it's super effective? 

The page after that has about twenty panels or so on it, it's like the artist hurled all over the page, messy and unappealing. The pages after that aren't much better. Reading it online and it has to be full screen on my computer or else I can't read all the dialogue crammed in there like so many commuters on a peak hour train.

Anyway, Harley's "master plan" is to play dead and hope the all powerful magician enemy can't tell. Then she can smash the hourglass and save her world. Naturally her plan fails and Enchantress releases her "Monster Men" - corrupted versions of the Gotham Knights Selina had, aaand somehow the woman who is usually two women forgot about the women in the Knight Squad. I mean, why not just call them the Dark Gotham Knights or something? Monster Men sounds like a D grade rip off of the opposing team in Space Jam.

Tina attacks and fails, Harley gets mad and tries to attack but fails, luckily Enchantress' strike rebounds and releases the weird jester in the corner, who Harley recognises as Killer Croc, despite not really looking like Killer Croc at all?

I mean, if only someone had magic powers to stop said ricochet..?

Hourglass is smashed, Enchantress temporarily vanquished but world is not yet back to normal. No oine else cares because they're in the middle of Selina's re-coronation thing, but Harley jumps in with a bit of hey remember how bad your heartache was? Well you need to be heartbroken again. Thanks!

I never actually read the wedding stuff.... uh.... did I miss anything important?

Jonni DC turns out to be the redhead with no mouth and when she's released from her curse she's able to.. ugh. Save the day by retconning everything. Y'know, originally thought this beetch was a lazy plot device but I'm starting to think she's an industry plant from DC to get everyone used to the idea of retconning everything. Maybe if your retcons didn't suck more than they improved things we'd go along with it, DC. Just sayin'.

Wait, is Jonni huge or is Harley just breaking walls again?

Speaking of plot devices... Enchantress was wrong because she changed the universe but Harley's fine because she's both in and out of continuity? What? A truer thing has never been said about the current Harley but still... thumbs down.

Later, Harley and Tina depart the world's most boring and cleanest city on the world's shiniest train when this happens.

Holy crotch shot, Batman!

Yeah, it's that massive belt she hasn't been wearing until now and her knockoff Harley-Starfire lovechild. Yay... and it's basically the same dialogue she's spouted since we met her with a few slight variations.

Back in Coney Island Harley 'entertains' her mom by flashing her and threatening to do the same to the Justice League because she's not uptight like them. Sure, they can be a little uptight and I'm sure it's because they're not endorsing naked clowns committing indecent exposure and unwanted offences to good taste.

I don't know what's more unnatural - Harley's face or the fact that when she winks her eyeshadows randomly change eyes. Also hitting on your mom's doctor.. for one thing it's a bit weird and a definite conflict of interest should something happen... but also, this doctor looks human so clearly they're incompatible as a species. Didn't we have a bit in a previous issue where Harley was kicked out of the hospital for being.. well, Harley but this is fine of course.

So doc unleashes the terminally bad news on them and Harley sad faces.
Assuming next issues will just be focusing on Harley failing to cope with her sads and ignoring her mother, and eventually winning the trials and using her new powers to save her mom.

The Short End of the Jester Schtick

This issue didn't grab me. The art was inconsistent as heck and the dialogue
was sucky.
Some bits were good - like here, even though Harley's figure is ridiculous the expressions are conveyed well but over to our right we have a similar kind of scene but the art is ten times worse and emotion seems forgotten in light of exaggerated faces as a substitute.



I liked some of the designs for the medieval styled characters but they just had so little time in this story it's a wonder they included so many of them. A story more focused on Catwoman I liked. I don't know if they had pushed this "story" out one more issue if it would have been better or not. Probably not, but they could have ATTEMPTED to flesh it out more. Instead it's just a lot of rushed resolutions, like Tina's super turn around or a last minute "it's almost dawn and NOW I have to try to do something" schtick.

Jonni DC is another point loss for me - she's such a plot device that can just undo any crap that Harley does that it's worth asking... why does Harley get to do these things if she never gets to learn a lesson or grow from anything? One could argue these are just meant to be fun comics, but in this issue alone we have Catwoman's heartbreak, Harley's mom's terminal news and Koriand'r Quinn alluding to some character growth so if they're trying to make this comic deal with actual issues, they need to have Harley actually face and deal with consequences.

Sure, no one wants this crappy medieval version of Gotham but at the end of the day this all happened because Harley was stupid enough to accept a twisted boardgame from a super obvious evil person and then forced her friends to play it when at least one didn't want to. Yes it was Enchantress' plot but some of it seems to stem from Harley failing to do something to save her previously, so it would have been nice to have her reflect on that or even mildly ponder how close she came to losing her world and the friends and family she knows instead of being more concerned about not having indoor plumbing and cookies.

Wotta Comedian!

Harley: Surpriseth! Behold, Harleen, the hour-glass slayer! Tally- - uh oh. 

Tina: Tina is destroyer of tyrants!
Enchantress: You are the sinker of stones.

Harley: Keep her pinned down, Croc, I've got my own blunt object! By the jockstrap of Deadshot, I smite thee with my --

Clock King: My limbs.. so stiff.. and so much sand in my breeches!

Selina: Wearing crowns isn't as fun as stealing them...

Jonni: I can't believe it.
Harley: I know, right? So much chaos from one lil' board game. Don't it just "Boggle": the mind--?