Oct 2013 "Slash 'n' Burn" Writer: Ales Kot Pencils: Rick Leonardi |
I'll be honest with ya'll.... this cover looks familiar but I don't recall ever reading this issue before now. Is that good or bad? Honestly not too sure. Maybe I did read but but forgot about it? Who knows. This cover is basically a representation of the Squad's teamwork style - all doing their thing without factoring in what the rest are doing and if it's safe to jump in with your claws when someone's either shooting a gun or aiming a RPG at your intended trajectory point...
I mean, it's not a bad cover - I kinda like the stark white contrast of the background compared to the colourful outfits of the cast. I am concerned about the body shapes of the women though... Cheetah looks like she has no strength in her arms and is painfully contorted. Harley - well, still awkward pre-pubescent boy body yet huge boobs but with the addition of super weird pigtails. Deadshot is squished off to the corners because his outfit's not revealing enough.
Back in Louisiana, Waller and Gordon are having a heart to heart. It's kinda nice seeing Waller having someone she can talk to and not just exposition over or constantly have to compete in urination contests with. Well, that still happens but the conversation here between the maniacal control freak and the one eyed obsessive mother-lover seems quite genuine, and not forced.
Well... it still gets weird. Gordon takes a break out of talking to Waller to monologue his favourite Foreigner song even after she compliments him and tells him she respects him.
Now our antagonist is someone that Gen13 enthusiasts might recognise - John Lynch. He doesn't seem like the character I'm used to and I'm a little unclear about what he actually wants here. Waller is going on about clues being left and that Lynch wants to convince some vague country leader that he can be sold a superhuman security detail. Waller also says she couldn't condone what he was doing in their shared Team 7 past and that he treated the loss of innocent lives like a game.
Technically Gen13 would be headed by a much older and maybe changed Lynch, and this is the New52 so he's probably been ret-conned a few times.
What even is this amalgamation of real countries into the fake dictatorship here? I mean, I kind of love it but at the same time, oyy.
If you recall a little while ago, Harley showed off her..... ahem... "gangsta skeelz" and ended up getting into a stand off with Waller and the latter agreeing to remove the neck bombs and the former still agreeing to work in the Squad.
Now we get a strange little scene where we have both the most awkardest embrace since Voldemort and Malfoy as well as a fourth wall break that seems to somehow... somehow make this Harley both randomly comedic in a sloppy kind of way but also largely unhinged.
Also, I for one would like to question if neck surgery on a guy in his work outfit is the best course of practice. Also, does everyone need to be in the room? I feel like a fourth wall breaking clown would be distracting enough without her moving around the room - well someone's moving. Gordon is over by himself initially, and Harley is between him and Waller. Next we see Harley taking the main focus and Waller is over by Gordon, who is now on her left side.
Did Harley get lip fillers as a double deal during her surgery??
Back in present day, Deadshot has a picnic after massacring some random guards. He even has champagne.. I always figured him for a beer kinda guy. King Shark is literally knocking heads with some more militia guys. Harley just walks up to a checkpoint - armed with a gun, a pie and probably no sunscreen. It's always the thing you need to pack the most yet you always forget it somehow.
Wait - is this another fourth wall break?? She's LITERALLY walking into this frame!! |
It's kind of funny, but at the same time I feel like this part was inserted just to have her say this line. Everyone else is 100% more stealth, even G-D Cheetah who is literally blowing up minefields with her assistant bees. Yeah, apparently bees can smell TNT? Is that real? Not sure, but it's cool if it is. Although I'm not clear on how they're being utilised here - I mean, if I smelt TNT I'd be going the OTHER way, is that what Cheetah is using or are these bees trained to gravitate TOWARDS the TNT? Is this why the bee population has been on the decline?? They're either being blown up because of their unique hobbies or being offed because they know too much?!
Changing the subject somewhat hastily... Harley has gunned down all of the militia nameless dudes when she's approached by a meta who likes inappropriate pants, defending dictators, walks on the beach and counting bullets. Well, the pants aren't too bad but I do question the logic of those side meshy panels during combat. Harley's outfit - even though HER pants seem to have absorbed her boots and evolved into some kind of partial onesie - look SO much better with pants. Would be nice if they could keep the colours consistent and add some diamonds, but I'll take what I can get!
King Shark - contemplating life quietly and not eating all the meat he can find, is approached by yet another meta - boy, this is a bit like the Brady Bunch huh? One partner for everyone and surrounded by a bunch of square panels.
Oh wow, that analogy kicked booty!
King Shark has the best scene here I think - he manages to spout spiritual wisdom to his meta counterpart Lamplight,then politely throw him into the ocean. Deadshot manages to snipe Lynch (but ignores the dictator that Lynch lets stand next to the OPEN WINDOW WHEN THEY KNOW THE ENEMY IS AT THE GATES LIKE WHAT THE HELL plus Lynch takes a head shot but it goes right through him. I knew he had a cybernetic eye but has he got something else going on or did Deadshot intend for it to go through cleanly? Some Flash wannabe accosts Cheetah and calls her a wench. Deadshot gets a cheap back massage.
Now back to Harley - Crow Jane - that name bugs me, I would have gone with Jane Crow - that way you still get the bird association but also a slight variation of Jane Doe, which would kinda work as well for the whole carrion thing. Right, well now that's off my chest, she made a point of telling Harley she knew she was out of bullets, but then gives her a chance to fight with another weapon.
Rookie move. Looks like Jane's meta power is a loud cry like Black Canary. Actually, crows are hella louder than canaries... this could also work. Still surprised an American comic went with crows given where they're based and yet not giving us a specific location for this scenario.
It is wonderful seeing traditional gag weapons. Again, I feel like it's just in there to be kooky or to have Harley mouth off with her dialogue but still, I don't mind it. I DO mind Deadshot seducing his foe Amaze on account of the pheromones he'd been doused with but we weren't told about until after the fact. Does that mean Waller knew EXACTLY who would be paired up with who because if we still had the same scene but it was big dude-bro Titan or fast jerk Impetus that caught up with Deadshot... would it be a different resolution? Guaranteed.
Also weird is Impetus being taken down by bees. Ah well, he sucked anyway.
Speaking of sucking, this comic is nearly over and the general dictator dude is finally being taken to his panic room, only to be shot by the Unknown Soldier - who blended in so well with the other million unknown soldiers that he didn't even have to wear a mask.
Deadshot flees the scene with Amaze as Waller unleashes her revenge on Lynch. And when I say flee I mean he gets about two steps away which probably won't do shite because the ten or more planes about to drop the bombs on Lynch are literally overhead. Still plot armour works and Deadshot shows a bit of his good guy side - both by helping Amaze get away, then letting her deck him for abusing pheromones like he did.
Well this seems like overkill doesn't it- oh wait you guys, the title, I get it now! |
Man, Lynch looks like an old man about to yell at something to get out of his airspace.
Apart from one small panel of Deadshot leaning on King Shark - who is now sitting next to Deadshot instead of across from him, this is the last shot we have of the Squad. I like it. It's weird, it doesn't mesh, it's not fair to eat pie without me but still, this kind of works.
Gordon goes on to continue talking about love for some reason then the comic ends on a brief hiatus for the Forever Evil event.
The Short End of the Jester Schtick
Welp, this was a weird comic man. Don't even try to deny it. Still, it was enjoyable in parts. My main concern with this issue was that they keep sticking to the old standby of keeping everything from us and then just telling us at the end about what's happened or what trick was used.
I get it, if we knew everything about the plan beforehand then whats's the fun in reading it? In saying that though, it's annoying when more time should have been spent on the Team 7/Lynch dramas and what the clues were in Vegas and how long this pheromone took to cook up etc.
That whole situation is very strange - there's clearly no qualms in taking out the other metas, so why did they have to seduce one of the female foes? If the other foes were effective, it could have actually killed Deadshot too so... huh?
It's like the comic is actively preventing me from getting too involved in anything.
Maybe like the Squad, we aren't supposed to have the full intel, but then why keep showing Waller and the exposition factory?
Wotta Comedian!
Waller: This is what I get for shooting him in the head and not checking the vitals.
Waller: Vegas was the confirmation, Gordon. He wanted to get my attention. There were clues all over the place.
Gordon Jnr: Wait, you knew this when you sent the Squad to Vegas and you withheld the info?
Waller: I suspected, Gordon. And they're called 'Suicide Squad' for a reason.
Harley: This is so 1984, it hurts. Neck bombs!
Harley: Freak? Don't you know me? I am Harley Quinn from Murder Without Borders.
Mingowee III: You sound like secret agents from the movies.
Lynch: They based them on me, my friend.
Deadshot: Um, lady... ..I won't be able to kiss you unless you get your gorgeous boot off my kidneys first.
King Shark: You will survive. So remember mercy. Find your inner compass.
Gordon Jnr: You've built something unique here, Waller.
Waller: WE did. And I know. Heh. Bees.
Gordon Jnr: And maybe that's some of the true measure of love -- the kindness we give to those who are too damaged to even perceive it.
Bonus Panels!
Titan is allll kinds of messed up here.. |
Not to be catty Cheetah... but what happened?? |
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