DCeased #2

2/6
"The Monster Inside of Us All"
Writer: Tom Taylor
Pencils: Trevor Hairsine
Inks: Stefano Gaudiano
Colours: Rain Beredo

The ominous narration continues in this one, but doesn't do a thing to warn poor Aquaman not to open the door on the stricken cargo ship. In his defense, they do seem to be fast zombies. Gosh, I hate fast zombies. It's like... the slow ones are bad enough but at least you don't have to run like, allll the time. What is this, the Apocalypse Olympics? Damn.

Now Metropolis is on fire, and the Supersons and Superman are just chilling at their crib. They decide to head to the Daily Planet. Meanwhile, over in Gotham, Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn are also just chilling but in some dingy alley way. So, clearly journalism pays better than crime. Thanks for the morality lesson DC!

Here, Ivy is abusing the power of the green and hyping Harley up for something, but Harley is trying her best to weasel out of it. They don't exactly say what this task is so maybe the next page is... oh.

Look at that sweeeeet..... gaming set up. 

Oh, is this supposed to be the hideout he used in Death of the Family? Or is it a parody of Batman's computer set up? I don't mind that actually - either one. I DO mind the over the top self aware and stereotypical 'battered/downtrodden woman in a relationship' discussion here. Since when are they officially back together enough to split? And since when has Joker cared what anyone was thinking unless it benefited him? They seem to be making it into a relationship thing..

"Got a new vibe, who dis?"

Which is weird because it's more like it's shoehorned in there just to get a zombie Joker reveal.
I mean, this isn't as bad as the time Conner/Palmiotti did the break up scene but it's definitely been done before and much better. Everyone knows the best way to break up with the Joker is to disappear then show up running your own heists and leaving him out of it so he can pitch a fit and try to get revenge. You don't just talk to the Joker like he's a reasonable human being... even if he's lucid he's still got a nasty, twisted temper.

Besides - what's going on here? Is Joker actually a zombie thing or is it that he's turning into one? I ask because his behaviour seems odd for a zombie thing, but I'm guessing it all ties into the zombie reveal thing I mentioned earlier.

Now onto a relationship that really works and their similarly coloured third wheel. After defending the world from the Apokolips invasion, Black Canary and Green Arrow decide to take Green Lantern camping, but Hal has taken his Lantern statement and replaced it with a grumpy, apathetic adolescent boy scout one.

Honestly, Black Canary and Green Arrow are just the best.
After Hal snubs their idea to sing campfire songs, they notice he's sulking on his phone in his tent and decide to serenade him anyway.

Hal's tent explodes in epic puff of green smoke and when he appears again he's in his battlesuit and looking worse for wear. His ring starts yelling things at him, like when your car dings at you for opening the door, turning the lights on and what not. He then immediately attacks this dynamic duo like a savage song critic. He wounds Dinah, which earns him a boxing glove arrow to the face (NICE) but Zombie Lantern isn't playing ball so when he tries to kill Ollie, Dinah doesn't hold back and absolutely sonic blasts him.

By all accounts - the Zombie Kill of the Week has to go to this fine effort. Dinah didn't even break her sentence, plus she was wounded and floored yet she destroys this zombie in less than a second, then inherits his power ring and looks bad ass while doing so.


Plus the scream is powerful enough that Superman heard it and comes to find them. Well, I suppose Superman's hearing is good enough to hear an ant fart in Guatemala from his Fortress of Solitude but still.

Although his hearings not as good as his posing power. 

The team get a call from Batman, who is using a pilfered Mr. Freeze suit to slow down his degeneration but it's ultimately ineffective - leading to a really sad Damien and Alfred, and a disheartened team.

The Short End of the Jester Schtick

Well, not too much happened in this one. Batman turned faster than I expected. Superman didn't do shite apart from find Dinah and Ollie and act as a taxi. There didn't seem to be too much emotional connection to the zombies inside the Daily Planet. Although, why are the zombies there if Clark and Lois weren't at work? Were they slacking off during working hours!?
The Aquaman opening was nice, the Harley/Joker/Ivy thing was meh - I did fully enjoy the Black Canary and Green Arrow go camping with misery guts Hal. Come to think of it, why was he so miserable? Did I miss something or is it just a 'I hate camping' thing, even though he obviously loves travel as part of his job?

VARIANTS

Leinil Yu Variant 

Batfamily reunions are always tough. 

Francesco Mattina  publisher and foil Variant

Here's Superman doing that yell you always hear at the end of Nutragrain commercials.

Yasmin Putri Horror Variant

Obviously not original but that's fine, this is an awesome take on a classic horror poster. 

Midtown Comics Inhyuk Lee variant 

Jason Todd gets revenge finally, I guess. Don't see what this has to do with the actual story of this issue but sure. 

Comic Hero University Arthur Suydam Variant

Yeah, guaranteed this old pony was gonna be pulled out again for a trick. Yes, it's a classic! But haven't we seen this one done as zombies before? 

Comics Elite John Giang variant trade and sketch Variant

Nice monster take on Batman. Sketch is cool but I like the trade cover more to show off what big teeth you have, Batman. 

Bullet Proof Comics Gabriele Dell'Otto Variant

Looks cool, prefer the cool colour cover over the red, even though red's my favourite colour.

The Comic Mint Shannon Maer Variant

I like these two a lot, but it's annoying to have to buy two to get the full effect. This is one example where a lenticular cover would be best put to use.
I initally thought this was a Maxwell Lord reference but I'm guessing it's meant to be Superman.

Jetpack Comics/Forbidden Planet Ben Oliver Variant

I don't really get this one. Is she actually a zombie here? She just kinda looks like "oh, I didn't expect to see you here" as opposed to "AAAAAAH I DIDN'T EXPECT TO SEE ZOMBIES HERE AKJHBFKODJBGFGFEFGE!!!?f?ds@@?!!"

Unknown Comics Jay Anacleto trade and black and white Variant

Looks kinda cool... but would be better if SUPERGIRL WAS IN THE DAMN ISSUE.

Wotta Comedian!

Damien: I'm not worried, Jon.
Jon:Why not? I'm, like, seventy percent sure this is Armageddon.

Harley: I want to state for the record that I think this is a terrible idea.
Ivy: What record?
Harley: Good point! I should go create a record right now, probably in the form of a scrapbook. This could take a few days. As the scrapbook will require glitter and taxidermy.

Ivy: I'll let you in on a secret... ....vines enjoy crushing people. 
Harley: Right. Well, I will never sleep in the same room as a houseplant again. 

Green Arrow: And you're weak-willed, Hal.
Green Lantern: That's... ...I'm literally known intergalactically for the strength of my will.
Green Arrow: And yet look at you camping. Clearly I'm going to have to update the entire universe on your little capitulation here. 

Green Arrow: Why don't you use your ruing to rustle up a ukulele and we can sing some campfire songs?
Green Lantern: Isn't there a chance Dinah could blow up our heads if she sings?

Batman:They're stealing life. These are the anti-living. And the trigger is an equation. 
Green Arrow: I always knew maths would doom us all. 

Batman: To save the world, you're going to have to destroy any human carriers and you're going to have to take down the internet. 
Green Arrow: I always suspected we'd have to destroy the internet to save the world.