Cover shows us the new team teased at the end of issue one.
They all seem like lesser known people with Lobo planted right and centre to garner some interest.
Variants aren't that exciting. Oh wait, talk about your versus battles, it's my favourite Harley Quinn solo team versus the my loathed Harley Quinn solo team!
Isn't it funny how both of them do the same thing but one is just instinctively more crap?Both cover sequences take place in the same empty void apparently. Did the industry run out of background artists?
So, Conner has Enchantress striking a ditzy pose, she's upset and looking like she gotta pee but has to stop Ballerina Superman from bro-fisting her first. Her feet are clearly on the floor but there's no floor there, and it's not exactly Superman's style to freakin' plow drive opponents into the ground unless they're like Doomsday or something. In fact, knowing his weakness to magic, why would he engage in close quarters combat instead of trying to take her out from a distance with like freeze breath or something? Only compliment I can really give this cover is that Enchantress' outfit looks okay.
The Dodson's take has Enchantress at least looking like she's about to strike at Superman, she looks controlled and calm, Superman on the other hand looks cautious, like he's not sure about engaging this magic user. Dodson's do capes so much better... they actually look like real fabric, interacting with the wind in this featureless void..... I like that Enchantress has occult symbols appearing with her magic. Only critique would be that Superman's either really bendy or he's missing a leg.
Right, so the actual comic. Turns out, Waller has a perfect view of the money shot here on this random island. I think there are only like, five characters with their feet on the ground here.
They're all actually fighting and have all paired off.
Also Waller has injured her best pointing finger somehow.
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| Perspective... that ain't it, Chief. |
Now, Waller makes fun of Killer Frost's Ph.D after the latter questions of attacking the League is for real. In her defence - a) yeah, like you guys stand a chance and b) I doubt her Ph.D is for taking down superheroes for a shady government initiative.
Right so all the heroes and villains and some-times anti-heroes and grey-heroes are paired up and after trading a few blows and verbal hits, they decide to split up because they can't take the team together. .... but... they were all fighting individually? What?
Also this happens.
At first glance, some of the heroes appear to be running the opposite direction as the foes they're chasing. This is actually two panels flipped, really, or I guess we're seeing one perspective first, then another in the second panel... but it could have been made clearer or they should have given us a very clear perspective in this issue as to exactly where everyone was before they split.
First glance I was like... Cyborg was right there with Killer Frost, now he's going the other way? Killer Croc going to the water and Aquaman heading to higher ground? Green Lanterns apparently teleporting in then teleporting right out again?
Sure, there are buildings in one top corner and a tree in the other but both right hand sides look like they have the same water line.
Maybe the issue with splitting up is my problem. I mean, if the Squad split the League up to take the League member on as a team, they may have a slim chance in hell of winning. Instead we have the exact same fights we just saw but with the added bonus of telling Boomerang to RUN from the freakin' Flash. Like, I know he's the black sheep of the Squad, but DAMN. My other problem is that they literally yell their plan out in front of the League - doesn't even seem to be through comms but the League don't acknowledge this or make any effort to stop this.
Sure, it'd end the comic straight away but let's be real, we've seen Flash herd bad guys into one area before and without trying.
Back to Maxwell Lord and Friends:
Given how these are such (mostly) D-listers.. here's a helpful who's who.
Floating Red Tornado mask - Johnny Sorrow. Has a fatal face and can teleport/levitate.
Green Not-Enchantress & Floating Eyeball - Emerald Empress & Emerald Eye of Ekron... alliterating, yet on theme. Has a somewhat symbiotic relationship with the eyeball which provides most of the powers like energy blasts and surviving in space.
Angry Raiden-eyed dude - Rustam. Pyrokinetic terrorist. What could possibleh go wrong?
Purple Not-Galactus - Doctor Polaris. Heck magnets. How do they work? Also has Bipolar, but this shows as essentially split personalities? Is actually a doctor.
Maxwell Lord: Smarmy jerkbag who used psionic/persuasion powers to control Superman which forced Wonder Woman to kill him. Came back as a Black Lantern to keep being a jerk, then was resurrected during New52's reboot to be a jerk all over again. Tall, slightly less crude and less entertaining version of Doctor. Psycho I guess.
They all team up to attack Waller specifically. Although....This is a long way to travel to to have a chat. They're like, in the Alps and nowhere near anyone else in this comic. These villains all act defiant but roll over faster than cheap cigarette papers and now they're all in! Probably because they'd have to foot their own airfare back home if they decline.
Now back to our scheduled fights!
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| Oh, is this our cover scene? |
Enchantress and Superman square off... kinda? Like, we've already seen them fighting with magic on at least three panels, but NOW Enchantress crows about finding out magic is his weakness? I don't even care enough to find out if this Rebirth Superman even knows about this weakness or not. Like.. why not Wonder Woman? She regularly kicks Circe's ass, and Enchantress is nowhere near her level.
Meanwhile Cyborg and Killer Frost - our two least likely candidates to be on the beach... are.. well, they're on the beach. Killer Frost is down for some reason, did she get tired from that brief run or was she knocked down? This is important, given if Cyborg zapped her.... like, that's a tad dangerous this close to water.Cyborg's trying to win Killer Frost over to the good side but kind of ruins it when he reveals he's spent some time stalking her online. Okay, you're the tech guy of the League but jeez, don't abuse it. Not even sorry Frost froze your face, you butt head.
Meanwhile El Diablo - another unlikely beach candidate is having a drama queen tantrum about
being disrespected because he thinks no-namer Lanterns were sent to take the Squad out. True, these Lanterns are newbies, but like.. it's still two against one and until the Suicide Squad movie/2011 comic came out, it's not like anyone especially knew who you were either Diablo.
He conjures some three headed dragon but is crushed in like five seconds or less by the Lantern Team. I for one, am glad they extinguished both his fire and his whiny attitude.
Captain Boomerang and Flash get a bit more time to hash it out, which is good given their history.
Flash saves a bunch of randoms from a killer boomerang which I love. Check out this crowd. There's at least two legitimate zombies in this image, one guy who missed the action and one bruiser who looks like he about to start punching boomerangs. Classic. By the way Flash - you know how kids running up the beach sends that annoying spray of sand over your sunbathing body? Imagine what YOU'RE about to do to these beach bums. Anyway, TL;DR - Boomerang rolls over and spills the beans but surprise, Waller doesn't blow his brains!
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| Not what I would have replied with....BOOM! |
Aquaman and Killer Croc go for a swim that manages to look both refreshing but confusing as heck.
Remember how I keep complaining about editors that put stupid notes like "see last issue!" ALL THE TIME but fail to actually refer to things that NEED reminders? Yes, well, Killer Croc is apparently terrified of Aquaman because of something that happened in Amnesty Bay the first time they met.. but Aquaman doesn't recall meeting him there at all. So... is this a continuity thing where Killer Croc met a different version of Aquaman or someone marginally related to him, or is this just a continuity error? Is it relevant to the plot or not? Anyway Aquaman gets an innocent Great White Shark killed instead of decking Killer Croc himself, which apparently is the ticket.
Batman and Deadshot have a pretty predictable fight where Deadshot spits out his previous insults about Batman using kids as his workforce and Batman calls Deadshot criminal scum, and a coward. Deadshot gets all butthurt and then fails miserably in the fisticuffs. Comparing competently trained youths going into battle to gunning people down for money probably isn't the best thing to do in front of Batman either.
Then we have Harley yelling out things like that she thought they were besties but she's not saying it with a cheeky smile, she's saying it after attacking first and while shooting at Wonder Woman. It's not even a joke to her, so why is the jester doing it? Not very in character. Also, I can't tell if this is supposed to be her psychoanalysing her foes or just another boring meta reference but she's going on about being a DC pillar and Wonder Woman's origin. Soo.... we are back to the clay thing again? Cool.
Now, Wonder Woman says something weird here after catching an exploding party bomb.
The Erinyes (AKA Furies) were female deities of vengeance in ancient Greek mythology. Usually portrayed as three women but exact number never really defined. So.. they listen to mortal's complaints and then dog the poor sucker being complained about. Example: parent angry about their neighbour's kid being rude or noisy. Tells the Erinyes and then they stalk the kid and punish them, or other crimes like moral ones, infidelity, theft and murder.
Basically a mythological kangaroo court then.
Why would you compare these deities to Harley? Is it meant to be a statement on how she's a failed anti-hero and ended up killing or maiming those she tried to bring justice to in the past? Still, why would you not reference a deity of mischief* then, or heck, even Circe, who can be quite cheeky at times.
As we know, Harley Quinn is vexing but she's stolen a motorbike, shot at you, and threw a bomb at crowds. It's not exactly a battle of the minds. This is closer to what I would expect from a Harley Quinn and Wonder Woman relationship though... few people would test her patience more than Harley. Also don't know what Harley was expecting - she rammed her motorbike into Diana and only ended up taking herself out.
Now we jump to both Killers - Frost and Croc, running along the beach. It did seem like Croc was a faster swimmer than Aquaman but still, this is pushing it a bit. Killer Frost ends up sucking out Superman's life force and freezes the beach (best of both worlds, amiright?) and I assume the League because the Squad seems fine even though they were just knocked out?
Oh, and Waller captures the League and puts them in unique containers.
Because... that's sure gonna stop other heroes gunning for your team, isn't it?
The Short End of the Jester Schtick
Well, Superman was a let down. Not only did his super hearing not pick up the communications between the Squad and Waller but we also didn't get to see the fight properly between him and Enchantress. You wouldn't see that with any other of his opponents. Then he just lost a battle and it's like... um, this is Superman. If he can't win, it's a big deal.
Harley didn't seem to be the same character she was in the last issue. She had probably the same screen time but her acrobatics were kinda lame and she wasn't having fun or joking. She had some lines that may have been intended as jokes, but they were delivered like Margot Robbie's attempt - the smile doesn't reach the eyes, personality like cardboard and she's not funny.
I guess the writers did the best they could with the premise but this whole issue seemed flat and mismatched. Killer Frost is the most interesting character but definitely needs some expanding on, which I hope they'll do in the coming issues.
Wotta Comedian!
Killer Frost: ....I know I'm new to the Suicide Squad, but... you're joking about taking down the League, right?
Maxwell: I wouldn't dare do that to you, Lobo.
Lobo: Ya damn skippy. You try that on the main man and you're a dead bastich.
El Diablo: Man, this is some B.S! You two ain't Green Lanterns! I'm trying real hard now not to be offended...but they send a pair of nobodies after us?? Where's the respect?
Green Lantern (Jessica): Hope he's not claustrophobic, Simon. I'd be freaking out right now if I were him.
Green Lantern (Simon): You mean the guy who called us nobodies? He'll live.
Captain Boomerang: You and I go way back, Flasher. I know there's no point trying to outrun you and yer red pyjamas, mate.
Flash: Are the Rogues angry that you're two timing them with the Suicide Squad? Or did they finally realise that you were the weak link?
Captain Boomerang: We've got an open relationship, mate.
Killer Croc: After what you did to me in Amnesty Bay, I stay as far away from you as I can, Aquaman!
Aquaman: Amnesty Bay? Have we met before?
Killer Croc: And here I thought I had a face no-one could forget!
Harley: This'll put a smile on your mug! Doctor's orders!
*Deities of Mischief and Trickery
Momus - personification of mockery and satire, he is described as a sharp tongued character of unfair criticism. In Europe he became the equivalent of a harlequin and appeared in opera-ballets before eventually replacing the Fool in the deck of cards used for Minchiate (French).
Dolos (or Dolus) - Master of treachery, deception and generally being crafty as a spirit of trickery and guile. Known to trick gods into lies and not bad at a kiln. Counterpart of Apate.
Apate - Personification of deceit and fraud. Was sought out by Hera to wreak vengeance on a woman made pregnant by Zeus... (that casual rapist and trickster himself...) instead of say.... Zeus himself who did the adultery and didn't have a good track record as a parent or a non-cannibal... or uh, not bringing catastrophes to the human world. I mean, there's a list longer than my arm on his sexual endeavours! Counterpart of Dolos.
Hermes - Messenger of the gods, but also a bit of a tricky fellow who outwits other gods for his own amusement. Famous for wings and cloaks but not wearing any pants. Also quite rapey apparently.
Hybris - the goddess of insolence, violence and also really out there behaviour that shouldn't be condoned.
Pan - Wonder Woman once danced with Pan to make herself temporarily as crazy as the Joker is. Pan is essentially a god of the wilds, nature and often associated with sex. Origin of the word 'panic' which he often caused by screeching horribly at opportune times, and is also a possible inspiration for Peter Pan. Like Harley, he often struggled in love and lost many of the women he pursued.
Bonus Panels!
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