Batman Detective Comics 23.2 - The Wrath of the Hardly Quinn

Stop me if you've heard this before... oh wait, it's not a joke it's just another hideous cover featuring HQ. I know people have been clamouring to buy all the tacky gimmick covers for this year's event but this cover sent me running away before I even knew what was IN this issue.

Put bluntly, this issue has issues. This cover, has issues. This comic needs pre-52 Harley Quinn to psycho-analyse the crap out of it.

I won't go into too much detail about how horrible it is, it can certainly speak for itself. I have named it the molten-turd cave of Holy Weird Crotch Angle, Batman! And as I do my best to avoid looking at that or Hardly Quinn's ... well, whatever she is I can't help but notice that Batman has the same bat shaped knee covers that Batgirl copped flack for.



Anyway - This is Harley's chance to break free! First of, I liked her sardonic internal monologue. It distracted me from her skinny emo-pouty face kid sulk with flat feet and massive socks. She's supposed to be younger than before... but how young are we talking? So she blows off a villains meeting and heads for Gotham, decked out in goggles and fingerless gloves for some reason. Maybe they came with the car?

I like the ASORKIN1 license plate Easter Egg. I like the gargoyle pose, even though that's really more of a Bat/Cat thing. I mean, Harley - you live in Gotham when not incarcerated or whatever you call it.... must you do all the tourist things the second you return? Doesn't matter. So far, I'm feeling very hopeful for this comic.

This turns out to be another villain childhood sob story.

Don't blame me, blame my upbringing!
Please stop sinning while I'm blogging!

Harley's family has exploded in a pile of babies, abusive drunks and lower tier society. This time around she is the cream of the crop and basically waltzed into Arkham where - she faces the mundane lives of 'boring' psychopaths who only have one fixation. I'm not really sure why Harley says that she was raised or pushed, even to love ORDER when her house seems to be abound with chaos. If she's the only one to really graduate with flying colours (not counting the babies, obviously) and her brother or whatever is looking into a career in stardom (is this a pass at Gotham City Sirens Harley brother who slacks off and talks about a 'band'?) then I don't see too much FORCED ORDER. Unless they're being forced to live in the damn kitchen, which I suspect might be the case.

Now, I'm sort of with any retelling where Harley isn't sleeping her way to the top, but I prefer it when she blackmails and threatens sneakily. That sort of fits in with her button pressing talent. Also, psychopaths boring? 'Ow very dare you!!

In a picture of Jim Carrey style mental health, Harley dyes her hair two tone, slathers on panda eyes and grimaces a lot. Now she's had her Disney princess makeover, she's free to wander around freely, finds the Joker wandering freely (SURELY an oversight of massive proportions?!) and jumps into a strangle-kiss. Well, if that's Joker's first reaction to that radioactive hot mess.... 'nuff said.

None of the staff notice or care? I think they're trying to make Harley into a powerful, strong woman-type character by having her come onto the Joker first? But then they take it all away when they basically give her the Joker's origin. Anyway, she gets into trouble but skips out of Arkham... which apparently has no gates. No gates, I tell you. How far back did we travel, DC? She falls in the wrong tub, grows her hair at will between scenes and makes out some more.

Then it skips to Harley by herself? Did Joker literally dump her after he dumped her into acid?

Okay, this is the solit for this comic.

If Dr. Harleen Quinzel wasn’t crazy when she fell for The Joker at Arkham Asylum, she sure was messed up afterwards! Find out more from Harley’s time with her beloved Mr. J. and see what got her into so much trouble that she was “recruited” for the Suicide Squad! 

False advertising. I know they're limited with how many pages.. but they haven't shown the Joker and Harley together anywhere for more than a second. The relationship with Joker is pretty much Harley's entire back story, her reason for being, yet the new 52 appear and DC tells us it's for new comic book readers but expects everyone to know all the previous history so they don't have to do it again. Say what?! Why even bother re-booting if you're not going to follow through? 

Anyway, previously Harley was wearing her Joker granted threads, but now we see that she made it herself, along with an absolute waste of pages that could have gone towards her back story. 

She steals her stupid leggings from some cheerleaders who apparently need thermals to work out in (where did the baseball bat come from?!) and then just her luck, she's able to steal the pants from a jogger - in the exact same colour scheme! Icing on the cake - her new top DOES come from a prostitute. Just like all the fans said! Ay carumba! 

Meanwhile Harley's internal monologue blab on about her being Harleen, her mom, her dad and brother but not her two personality deprived kid-siblings. Then she steals an oversize mallet from a pawn shop? Who does.. I don't even, I can't even... what?! How come I never saw stuff like that when I worked in a pawn shop? All we got was broken shit and cheap crap. Anyway, how is she not shot dead yet by the cops, the pimp, the store owner ... hell, anyone?

Last but not least... the saddest fast food joint I have seen for quite some time. Clown Burger. The poor saps wear the dunce caps and ruffle necks that Harley so desires. What, did Gotham lose all of it's party and costume stores? There's been no mention of Olympic level gymnastics or Ivy induced super powers, but now she's a villain she's automatically got new gangsta skeelz? Now she's flying, jumping, punching, lifting oversize mallets, being ridiculous and some mall cops or 'po-po' can't even shoot her? Stormtrooper academy called, they'd like their cadets back. 

So... Joker and Harley's relationship didn't last more than a panel or two no matter whose new 52 book you read. That's pretty sad. The way she's hung up over him you'd assume she was a touch more than a one day stalker. Then as we all know from Suicide Squad she's trying to convince herself that she's a master villain and 'Harleen' totally created Harley, not the Joker. It just gets more and more pathetic. Denial! Not just a river in Egypt! 

More internal bitching about 'rules' and so on while she dresses as a cop and hands out free games to kiddies. She also blows up the cop she was impersonating and the cop shop too. Diagnosing herself with disassociation (which totally makes you fireproof too) going on about being so numb when a few pages ago she was all glee smiles. The part where she says she doesn't have to 'think' anymore (just 'act') is pretty obvious if you've seen any of the new 52 Harley Quinn but it seemed to me like she'd been doing a LOT of thinking about mass production, funding the operation, the distribution and creating a new alter ego to get this mass childhood destruction off the ground. 

I mean, this didn't happen spontaneously  as she wanted it to be, this took months of planning and shit. You're not 'in the now' and being all 'total random chaos' if you're sitting there and planning this stuff for a reason. Don't tell me all those doctorates and degrees went to pot as soon as you decided you wanted to be a crazy person.  That's just it, she wanted to play act as a crazy person. Because they don't get enough misinformation through the general media. 

She's called back like a dog to the meeting she'd just abandoned. Um, that's a weird time frame. Oh-kay. Aww, she's all sad face because all those dead kids didn't win back the Joker. Well, neither did the dead lawyers, but you obviously didn't learn from that now did ya? Or maybe her eyes are melting. Either one. 

Deadshot comes back for her! Knows exactly where she is. He spouts on about being as useless as an aimless bullet (that's pretty deep for a tin can sniper) and how the Suicide Squad (that he's continuously bitched about for all the issues he's be in there for) is totally the right place for them. 

Bleeerrrrghhhh..... 

THE GOOD

• The first, hope raising page.
• DC finally answering a few costume related questions with ridiculous answers. That means they at least realise a bit of their stupidity.

THE BAD

• The way DC can't even keep it's re-booted origins canon. 
• The pitiful Suicide Squad ploy with Deadshot. It doesn't get any lamer than that.

THE UGLY

• The art. Horrible cover! Also the interior art, while eye catching and original has little to no continuity and quality varies from page to page. 
• The realisation that this Harley is pretty much a TDK Joker - Anarchy and not so much lulz but at least he did it with style and a bit of brains. She has no friends in this universe and the one person she 'loves' doesn't even - and never did - care for her. She's a sad little wannabe and I feel bad for reading about her.