New 52: Death of the Family

Alright, fine, I'll read one tie in book in this lousy series! So here
you go.. for my torment and your pleasure - apparently - here is the two tie in books Suicide Squad wanted you to read as part of the Death of the Family Event.

Here we will sift through the wreckage that is Batman #13 and Batman #14.









Soo.... this one had me rolling my eyes already by page one. Yeah, I get that they're hyping up the Joker and having this major comic wide event but... damn.
Check the dramatics on this.

It's GOTHAM. It's always RAINING AND MISERABLE. Oh no, some force of nature backed the river up, better see it as a doomsday sign! Yikes. Then they're going on about a two headed lion. Gotta give Joker props for that, inseminating a lioness wrong and waiting months for the pay off. That's dedication.

We see Bullock and Gordon chatting about newspaper headlines and reading the bones but it's still not super clear if this is something someone's actually printed or what.

Next thing we know, this happens.

Just... straight up.. no chill, walking into a cop shop. So... basically we could have just had him walk in and take his own face back instead of Harley Quinn? Then why did you put us though those stupid Suicide Squad issues?! Gah!




Joker just wanders through the cop shop after cutting the power, managing to easily kill a lot of armed police. He even talks about how he lies under Gordon's bed while the commissioner sleeps, just thinking about him. Wow.. that's creepy AND sad.

Batman appears but the Joker got away, taking his face with him.

Which by the way, I'm thankful for some perspective on where the face was being kept because Suicide Squad made it look like Harley just skipped in and found it sitting in a blank room, with nothing else around it including security.

The Batgang talk about Joker being back and how much he sucks. Later on there's a news bulletin featuring disjointed Joker body parts behind a telecaster dressed like him. Obviously this guy dies, if only so Batman can have his computer do the detective work for him. Guy on TV was the son of the first recorded person Joker killed and the first death by Joker toxin.










Gordon and the cops secure the Mayor.. which is a sure fire way of getting him killed because the Joker pulls some Smylex mix up with the shit Mayor cleaned his floor with, causing all the guards to become Joker zombies.

Batman realises he's spelling out A.C.E with his choice of compounds but he probably should have just guessed that because there are so many chemicals at play that Joker would have been hanging out at his old haunt anyway.

There he meets The Red Hood, that he tells is not actually Joker but he falls into a vat before he can do too much about it. Oh look, it's Harley.

Very unclear if this is a Joker recording or if he's meant to be speaking through the headpiece but whatever. Either way, a plan that's just too terrible for our bloodthirsty murder happy former harlequin? Uhhhh.....huh.











Meanwhile Alfred finds the two headed lion cub scritching around and also the Joker.. for some reason. I'm guessing he's supposed to be outside, but then is about to bash up alfred when he opens the door but it's a bit unclear.



Then we get a flashback to Harley becoming the Red Hood.

The art changes dramatically here, and makes Harley look smaller, like she's in the worst fitting corset in lingerie history and also a tiny, scared child. This is I guess, intentional but it's a bit jarring given - again - that she's a sexed up murderer in her new series. Am I supposed to feel sorry for her?

At least she's not sexualised here.. as well as it being an overdone trope, it would be especially creepy given her vulnerable state and child like body.

Harley obviously thinks they're going to shag.. one would also wonder if this is how they normally do it...is it really consensual because this is looking like she's under some duress here.
Hold today's newspaper clipping and SMILE!

She finally figures out that she's meant to be dressing just like the Joker. I'm pretty sure they did this way back in No Man's Land too, but Joker just asked her to do it. She was better at it then too, Batman only figured out it wasn't Joker because she was pulling wicked ass gymnastic flips and shit.

Here, Joker tricks her and tells her he's going to do to her face what he did to his.

I think we're supposed to be either scared for or sad for Harley here, but I'm used to the classic Harley Quinn where if Joker pulls some shit on her, she beats him up. I'm reminded of another issue where this face skinning/Joker smile almost happened and - Harley defended herself admirably.

Yeah... the 'pathetic' 'Joker obsessed' Harley that everyone is trying so hard to put in the past.
Anyway, Joker instead of cutting her face off - dumps the Red Hood... hood on her head and abandons her in a creepy... actually I don't know where. Is this ACE chemicals? Somewhere?

Anyway, here's issue 14.

Back in the day, this issue was going for like $15-20 AUS in my local comic stores. I remember that because I flicked through an unsealed copy and was like... there's legit two panels of Harley Quinn in this issue and the cover is just trying to sell things that aren't there. 

Believe me, I would rather buy the story the cover is telling because inside we get this sad sack. 

What does that even mean? She'd transfer sides to Batman if Joker didn't change back to himself? 

Does white pasty skin via chemicals just do it for her? 

And besides, what is Joker's grand scheme here? Does he just take people he 'likes' and dump them in his patented chemical bath? Do we have to start calling Batman Vatman instead? Ugh. 

The rest of the comic is basically Batman realising Alfred is gone, trying to get Gordon to a safehouse before he inexplicably gets a papercut that turns into a raging torrent of blood, the likes of which would make Quintin Tarantino hard as a rock. 

I admit, this part of the comic was okay - Joker was mildly funny and didn't do the villain monologue thing.. this time he's actually done the crime before luring Batman out here to confront him. 

So.. that's nice but also boring because it's all tell, not show. Guess I can't win, eh?

Joker's jester monologue would be better if he was still a clown instead of a... look, why is he a mechanic? Seriously?  What gives?

How has he rigged chattering teeth with ropes that fly out from the reservoir, convenient geyser like eruptions and all that? Shit, there's even lighting on the people who I think are supposed to be chained to the floor of the dam but instead look like they're floating in space.

Anyway, he's discovered the identities of the Batgang and plans to have Batman kill them because he thinks they're ruined him and Gordon has a diary made of bat skin?

Joker's end game is to make Batman realise how much he loves him?

This is a weird comic.