Harley Quinn and Batman #1

2017

The Last Laugh pt 1

Writer: Ty Templeton

Artist: Rock Burchett

Colours: Kieren Smith

Here we have a Harley Quinn and Batman comic, set before the Batman and Harley Quinn animated movie yet released after it. Why? I don't know. 

The movie was basically a cash grab so this comic based off the movie is going to be basically a cash grab off of a cash grab. 

A few things I noticed... it's in the animated style but it just seemed off. The art and the colouring just looked a bit rough draft.. like the kind of art you see in cheap kids books. Harley's collar seems to be painted onto her shoulders instead of being a movable piece of her costume. 

The story just throws you in, it opens on the Joker's headquarters being blown up and Harley Quinn laughing. Joker himself looks a lot like his Batman: The Animated Series self but with his Batman: the New Animated Series demon face. Everyone else looks like their original BTAS selves.

Yeah, Batman and Nightwing are there, along with some clown henches. Joker doesn't know how they found him but is determined to give them a whoppin' because his poisoned hot sauce spilled. 

Harley seems happy to help - giving him new weapon after weapon. 

Most of these backfire on Joker though, in particular - one blows up in his face leaving him looking like he's dabbling in blackface.

I don't believe that's the intention - they're going for the old blasted off face scorch marks but either the artist couldn't pull it off or it just does not work with B:TNAS demon face. I do like the jab about buying from ACME. Oh, ACME. When will you learn?

It gets a bit weird when the next piece of equipment to use against Batman is a Joker themed giant robot. It's even weirder hearing that he seemed to have brought it legitimately. 

For some reason, Batman and Nightwing focus entirely on Joker and his henchmen and don't even attempt to take out Harley Quinn. Yes, the Joker is the bigger threat right now but let's face it, the clown henches aren't that tough.

Harley Quinn's just getting a pass because her name's in the title.

Even further more ugly Harley Quinn merchandise to feast your eyes on!

Okay well it's been a while since I've done one of these. Have been trying to avoid looking at new merchandise but sometimes it can't be avoided.

Even further more ugly Harley Quinn merchandise to feast your eyes on!


Yeah - DC's biggest cash cow apart from Batman is in full swing and they are going to milk her until she is bone dry and used up, and they essentially destroy her character, strolling past all her heart broken fans on their way to the bank, depositing their ill gotten gains with a barely suppressed chuckle thinking they actually know their characters and are doing a good job of giving fans what they want......

Holeeeee Shitcakeerolleesss I'm depressed now.

Just let me get close enough to the DC execs to hit them with this mallet!

Anyway, since they're green lighting things with her in them left right and centre, you know it's going to steamroll us all to oblivion so you might as well sit back and enjoy some laughs at their expense for a change.

Gotham City Garage #1

Hot on the heels of the Bombshells figurine line and their successful spin off comics comes the Gotham City Garage comic.

2017

The Real World

Writers: Colin Kelly and Jackson Lanzing

Artist: Brian Ching

Colourist: Kelly Fitzpatrick

Cover: Rafael Albuquerque

Even if you're not familiar with these, the name kind of gives it away. It's basically DC's lead heroines re-imagined as tough as nails biker gals.

For reference, here's the Harley Quinn special edition that I shelled out for because I just HAD to have my side car with Bud and Lou going for a spin.

Porn Parody - Harley Quinn and the Suicide Squad

It's a fact and a law - if it exists, you can find porn for it.
There's another factor in here as well... and that's if it makes money, there's probably a porn parody out there.

Is this a bad thing? No, I don't think so. Obviously adult entertainers have to make bread, parodies are usually worth a watch.. hell, I prefer musical parody acts like Weird Al and Youtube based group The Key of Awesome to most of the original songs they're copying.

This above image has been a popular meme and for good reason - you wouldn't expect the adult entertainment version to look more like the original than the Hollywood version, but here we get that. It makes sense, because obviously in the adult version they're selling a fantasy.. but.. isn't that what the movie industry version is for as well? 

Don't they market to us with sex appeal and power fantasies? Especially in superhero themed products? If so.. how did they drop the ball so hard with Suicide Squad's costuming?

While porn 'stories' are often ridiculed for their cheesy or contrived plot lines that always culminate in sex.. you have to think.. is the original material they're doing any different really.. except maybe more censored?

Said no one ever

So let's check out the Axel Braun porn parody of Suicide Squad - and how it compares to the failed movie Suicide Squad by a different jerk off. Ironically.

Injustice: Gods Amongst Us Year Five Annual

January 2017

Writer: Brian Buccellato

Artist: Mike S. Miller

Colours: J. Nanjan

Letters: Wes Abbott

Cover art: David Yardin

Secret tales of the final year! The only thing I don't like about this cover is the weird ripped crop top Harley Quinn's wearing. I know it's the Insurgence outfit from the Injustice game but it just doesn't seem to be meshing with the rest of her outfit. It's like she got up one day, coordinated the ever loving heck out of her outfit, like she really put some thought into it and was nailing it... but then the shirt that went with the outfit was in the wash and she couldn't wear it so she just grabbed some scrappy reject of a shirt and drew a smiley face on it saying 'yeah, that'll do.'

Which is just absurd to me. In my heart I know that it's just an excuse to show off her cleavage, midriff and show off her g-string and that pains me because this is the outfit she has chosen to wear into battle. I mean, her previous costume was pretty impractical but it seems like it was just her everyday outfit. This particular rag - the kind that you'd probably use to wash your car with and looks like it would tear irreparably after a light breeze.. is what she's chosen to fight in.

Did this in turn 'inspire' the shitty torn shirt from Suicide Squad or did they JUST steal it from Blondie? It's just weird.

Anyway - the actual comic features a few different stories from the perspective of different characters. The first one, and the one I'm going to be looking at is of course the Harley Quinn arc.

We open on her flashback - she's reflecting on the time that's passed since Superman went nuts. Look - I had problems with her original Injustice outfit when it was first shown but since then it's grown on me. It's unique and jestery and the character fits it well.

That said... this opening shot of her tits about to fall out and the fact that each one... is about as big as her head... plus the fact that her outfit would not offer ANY protection should there be an accident.

Hey, I cringe when I see dudes zip by on motorbikes wearing naught but flip flops, boardshorts and a T-shirt but this.. thinking of extreme gravel burn on boobies puts me in places I don't want my mind to go, DC!
\


That said, it's a nice page, the Gotham cityscape looks fantastic, the headlight is well done as while she drives along stoic as heck you see a wide array of emotions over her flash backs.

Batman and Harley Quinn 2017 - A Review

Well, I've watched it. It can't be un-watched. Is that good or bad?

What I will say about the film Batman and Harley Quinn is - it's not that bad. 

Honestly, I was extremely worried when I read the reviews yesterday but even though it's a movie that you don't *need* to see and you could easily forget it, it's not as soul cripplingly terrible as say...

Oh, I don't know.. Suicide Squad? 

I will never stop bashing that useless brain fart of a movie! Never!! Never!!!!

Yeah, that's exactly Harley Quinn's character. Margot definitely killed it at Harley Quinn. 

WELL SHE KILLED SOMETHING OF HARLEY QUINN ANYWAY~!!~

*ahem* *wipes off rage spittle and readjusts tie* 

Batman and Harley Quinn first reactions

My friends, I come to you solemnly, dipped in regret, eating tacos and reading headlines.
What headlines? You don't come here for the news, you come here for the sass and you know it!
Well, I remembered that the Batman and Harley Quinn movie was due to be out - or was out... I may have lost several weeks recently but that's a story for another time when I get nachos and vodka.

No, what I saw today in my search for a fond trip down memory lane was a bunch of ominous news headlines.

Which frankly sucks because even though I knew it was just going to be a slapped together cartoon cashing in on Harley's popularity boom...
Even though it was blatantly a re-do of the classic BTAS episode 'Harlequinade'...
Even though I'd been warned it wasn't classified as BTAS universe continuity..
Heck, I was wary as funk about Bruce Timm's involvement..

That dude just seems to write the characters like it's his own dream diary.

But I was still looking forward to it because it was classic animated Harley Quinn in her classic suit, she wasn't spray painted white and pretending to play vigilante cop buddy slash over powered super bad ass slash someone pretending to play roller derby, she looked like she had moved on from the Joker and was bitter about it and her life now, reduced to playing 'herself' at a dodgy superheroine hooters to pay her bills...

I was genuinely keen to see this version of Harley Quinn.