Batman - No Man's Land: The Code #1

All of the weird Harley Quinn and Joker shipping lately has made me rather nostalgic for what I consider to be their definitive relationship.
It's funny that with all the improvements and money that's gone into comics these days you really can't beat the classics for quality. 

When I think of the Joker - even though there are so many iterations of him throughout DC - I find myself thinking of this image.

Oct 1999
"Breakin' the Law"
Writer: Bronwyn Carlton
Penciler: Mike Deodato
Inker: David Roach

I just love that. Gleefully sitting in the spotlight in his dinner suit, relaxing and just about toasting us despite the fact that he is literally bathing in the chaos of No Man's Land. That is pure Joker - he just is chaos.. not a wannabe anarchist slash edge lord.

So that's how I picture Joker. Although sometimes admittedly it's more like this:

Retro Review: Harley Quinn #13 Night and Day

Dec 2001

Story: Karl Kesel

Pencils: Pete Woods

Inks: Mark Lipka

Finally getting back into my retro reviews! Shaking off all the crappy new Quinn vibes!

Now this comic I will introduce a little bit because it's a slight departure from our usual fare.
This issue actually tied into an event named Joker's Last Laugh - in which Joker is tricked into believing he's dying and as such, devises a scheme to take the world down with him.

Being the Joker, this mostly involves gassing people or somehow making them Jokerised, but not enough so that they die laughing straight away. He basically organises an army.

Our comic opens up with a husband and wife astronaut team (Rick and Lana Jensen) where we learn their back story. Human during the day but during the evening they become mutated due to the radiation they were exposed to this one time.

She becomes a green alien called Lady Luna with flight powers, the ability to decrease gravity and travel through solid objects.

He becomes this grey, hulking rock monster called Moonrock.. and he is kind of the opposite to her where he can increase gravity, withstand a lot of things and is stronger.

They were kind of trapped in a force field at STAR Labs until a green haired red lipped loony walks in and Jokerises them.





Don't you just hate it when that happens?

Well, to be fair they were planning on double crossing the Joker instead of doing the favour he so kindly asked of them.

Harley Quinn takes over Batman Day??!?!!

Okay so it's Harley Quinn's 25th anniversary this year and DC is going to celebrate by giving her several covers for other issues (they haven't done THAT in a while, right?) as well as giving her Batman's annual celebration... wait, what? 

Yes, the fourth year Batman had a celebration after reaching a 75 year milestone... and he gets kicked off for a character who's only at the 25 year mark? Huh?

As much as I like Harley Quinn... it pains me that we have yet to have a Wonder Woman or Superman celebration.. or you know.. a day for any other good character that will never see the light of day as long as the Quinn is making money. It's also painful that they're celebrating Harley Quinn's 25th year after pretty much destroying what made her popular in the first place and replacing it with a.. look there's no other word for it. OBNOXIOUS ASSHOLE. 

Seriously, check out this panel and tell me it's not obnoxious. Go on, I'll wait for you while you read it, roll your eyes a few times, skull several neat whiskey's and then drag yourself back to this page. 

The other thing that pisses me off is that we also had International Talk like a Pirate day this month and it got less attention than this crap.

Gotham City Garage #2

2017

The Real World

Writers: Colin Kelly and Jackson Lanzing

Artist: Brian Ching

Colourist: Kelly Fitzpatrick

Cover: Rafael Albuquerque

I have just now noticed that Harley's pants/boots are the wrong colour on the cover. Hmm. 

Also, no Bud and Lou on the cover. If this was Cinema Sins I would have to note that as a sin. 

 So where we last left off, Kara was surrounded by gardeners, and let's just say it was a sheer cliff hanger. She was not having a vine old time. She was giving it a green thumb down. Kara really wanted to leaf the scene, but luckily a motorcycle gang arrives to help Kara reap her just rewards and I temporarily ran out of garden related puns.

Kara whacks the heck out of one of the Gardner's with a detached arm, and defiantly states that she didn't need any help from these ladies of the dust.




Harley Quinn doubts it, and offers her a lift. Can we just talk about how cute Bud and Lou are?
I feel like this just always needs to happen. She should just literally travel everywhere with her hyenas in a colourful sidecar. Escalators, bathrooms, office meeting rooms.. just.. everywhere.

Harley Quinn and Batman #1

2017

The Last Laugh pt 1

Writer: Ty Templeton

Artist: Rock Burchett

Colours: Kieren Smith

Here we have a Harley Quinn and Batman comic, set before the Batman and Harley Quinn animated movie yet released after it. Why? I don't know. 

The movie was basically a cash grab so this comic based off the movie is going to be basically a cash grab off of a cash grab. 

A few things I noticed... it's in the animated style but it just seemed off. The art and the colouring just looked a bit rough draft.. like the kind of art you see in cheap kids books. Harley's collar seems to be painted onto her shoulders instead of being a movable piece of her costume. 

The story just throws you in, it opens on the Joker's headquarters being blown up and Harley Quinn laughing. Joker himself looks a lot like his Batman: The Animated Series self but with his Batman: the New Animated Series demon face. Everyone else looks like their original BTAS selves.

Yeah, Batman and Nightwing are there, along with some clown henches. Joker doesn't know how they found him but is determined to give them a whoppin' because his poisoned hot sauce spilled. 

Harley seems happy to help - giving him new weapon after weapon. 

Most of these backfire on Joker though, in particular - one blows up in his face leaving him looking like he's dabbling in blackface.

I don't believe that's the intention - they're going for the old blasted off face scorch marks but either the artist couldn't pull it off or it just does not work with B:TNAS demon face. I do like the jab about buying from ACME. Oh, ACME. When will you learn?

It gets a bit weird when the next piece of equipment to use against Batman is a Joker themed giant robot. It's even weirder hearing that he seemed to have brought it legitimately. 

For some reason, Batman and Nightwing focus entirely on Joker and his henchmen and don't even attempt to take out Harley Quinn. Yes, the Joker is the bigger threat right now but let's face it, the clown henches aren't that tough.

Harley Quinn's just getting a pass because her name's in the title.

Even further more ugly Harley Quinn merchandise to feast your eyes on!

Okay well it's been a while since I've done one of these. Have been trying to avoid looking at new merchandise but sometimes it can't be avoided.

Even further more ugly Harley Quinn merchandise to feast your eyes on!


Yeah - DC's biggest cash cow apart from Batman is in full swing and they are going to milk her until she is bone dry and used up, and they essentially destroy her character, strolling past all her heart broken fans on their way to the bank, depositing their ill gotten gains with a barely suppressed chuckle thinking they actually know their characters and are doing a good job of giving fans what they want......

Holeeeee Shitcakeerolleesss I'm depressed now.

Just let me get close enough to the DC execs to hit them with this mallet!

Anyway, since they're green lighting things with her in them left right and centre, you know it's going to steamroll us all to oblivion so you might as well sit back and enjoy some laughs at their expense for a change.

Gotham City Garage #1

Hot on the heels of the Bombshells figurine line and their successful spin off comics comes the Gotham City Garage comic.

2017

The Real World

Writers: Colin Kelly and Jackson Lanzing

Artist: Brian Ching

Colourist: Kelly Fitzpatrick

Cover: Rafael Albuquerque

Even if you're not familiar with these, the name kind of gives it away. It's basically DC's lead heroines re-imagined as tough as nails biker gals.

For reference, here's the Harley Quinn special edition that I shelled out for because I just HAD to have my side car with Bud and Lou going for a spin.

Porn Parody - Harley Quinn and the Suicide Squad

It's a fact and a law - if it exists, you can find porn for it.
There's another factor in here as well... and that's if it makes money, there's probably a porn parody out there.

Is this a bad thing? No, I don't think so. Obviously adult entertainers have to make bread, parodies are usually worth a watch.. hell, I prefer musical parody acts like Weird Al and Youtube based group The Key of Awesome to most of the original songs they're copying.

This above image has been a popular meme and for good reason - you wouldn't expect the adult entertainment version to look more like the original than the Hollywood version, but here we get that. It makes sense, because obviously in the adult version they're selling a fantasy.. but.. isn't that what the movie industry version is for as well? 

Don't they market to us with sex appeal and power fantasies? Especially in superhero themed products? If so.. how did they drop the ball so hard with Suicide Squad's costuming?

While porn 'stories' are often ridiculed for their cheesy or contrived plot lines that always culminate in sex.. you have to think.. is the original material they're doing any different really.. except maybe more censored?

Said no one ever

So let's check out the Axel Braun porn parody of Suicide Squad - and how it compares to the failed movie Suicide Squad by a different jerk off. Ironically.