Okay well it's been a while since I've done one of these. Have been trying to avoid looking at new merchandise but sometimes it can't be avoided.
Even further more ugly Harley Quinn merchandise to feast your eyes on!
Yeah - DC's biggest cash cow apart from Batman is in full swing and they are going to milk her until she is bone dry and used up, and they essentially destroy her character, strolling past all her heart broken fans on their way to the bank, depositing their ill gotten gains with a barely suppressed chuckle thinking they actually know their characters and are doing a good job of giving fans what they want......
Holeeeee Shitcakeerolleesss I'm depressed now.
Anyway, since they're green lighting things with her in them left right and centre, you know it's going to steamroll us all to oblivion so you might as well sit back and enjoy some laughs at their expense for a change.
First up - DC comics Wood Warriors Harley Quinn
What the heck is this and who comes up with these? Apparently she's super poseable, stackable and full of 'fidgety fun' while being packed in it's own organic window box.
I can't look away from her eyes.. a part of me knows that it's supposed to be her domino mask but all I see is angry, angry eyebrows.
Anyway it's 8"/20.32cm of USD$19.99 fun?
Remember how I'm such a fan of Margot Robbie's bastardised version of Harley Quinn in Suicide Squad?
No? Oh yeah, I'm not.
Not only was her acting and outfit sub par, she took a huge steaming shit on a character I've loved since childhood.
So now we have things like this blank death robot Suicide Squad Solar Powered Body Knocker Harley Quinn.
Still, it's only 6" tall and manages to do it's make-up better than Margot Robbie on her best day so that's something. I wonder if her pasty skin will melt though, if we put one in the sun?
Okay, this 20 ounce ceramic mug is not that bad, it's actually kind of cute... sort of.
It's on here because the 'Six Flags' cartooney merchandise look does not translate well with the pointy face.
It seems like whenever I look at this thing dead on I hear the theme from Jaws play.. and I'm not sure if it's because everything is so angular and pointy or because she's glaring at me.
I suppose I'd glare too if someone kept pouring hot substances in my exposed brain cavity.
I do quite like the base though and the liliripe handles.
What the actual hell is this?
A DC Unkl 3" vinyl Harley Quinn figure?
That does nothing to tell me what the hell happened to her face, her head, her legs or even her arms?
This is the Frankenstein's monster of Harley Quinn because it looks like someone chopped up random bits of other Harley Quinns and stuck them together, hoping no one would notice and then they would score like USD$8-12 per pop.
Now I am a huge fan of the Bombshells and I also love my classic Harley Quinn Dorbz because it is adorbablez to the max but sometimes these things don't mix well together.
Case in point.. the first thing I thought when I saw this was 'Did someone punch her in the eyes?' which is not adorable at all.
I get that it's supposed to be her make-up, but didn't she just have it on her upper lids? That and the fact that the detail on her head/goggles are amazing but everything else looks hastily slapped on make this 3" doll appear on my list.
This is apparently a b.wing x Justice League "A" Family 4" figure.
I have no idea why it's called that, I'm betting comic stores trying to sell this are cursing the manufacturer black and blue.
This figure puts me in mind of something from Aardman studios/claymation.. which is not in itself a bad thing because I like them..
But I don't know what this has to do with anything? The description states that it's meant to be the Justice League redesigned in their youth.
Umm.. I did not know that Harley Quinn had even been anywhere somewhat *close* to joining the Justice League?
She's even got her initials on her mallet in case she forgets who she is during a 'light smashing' spree or her kindy has to send it back to her parents. It's also like $30 so what the hell guys?
When it comes to making money, DC does not care how badly it sells out at all.
Which probably explains this Bratz style bobblehead with the overly cutesy eyes one would surely find in a My Little Pony collection.
As well as being Suicide Squad themed, I hate this because it's trying to make 'that' Harley Quinn cute when she is anything but.
They've cleaned her face up, removed all of her nasty tramp tattoos apart from the widdle wuv heart on her face aaawww sooo cute - NO.
Lucky last for today... here is a Joker and Harley Quinn Eaglemoss masterpiece collection. It features 1:16 scale polyresin figurines along with a 28 page magazine that is meant to elaborate on the infamous couple's history.
I have a few issues with these things. Namely, whenever I see one, there are two characters and they're from mismatched timelines.
This one is probably one of the worst offenders.. I think they confused Batgirl with Catwoman here as well... but getting past that.. we have classic Poison Ivy, New 52 Harley Quinn and I'm sure that's New 52 Batgirl as well but again.. not really a femme fatale in the sense that she's not a villain.. or fatal.
The box they come in includes a picture of a more green Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn as she was originally seen in her annoying solo run with Palmiotti/Connor that tried so hard to escape the New 52 but ended up making her a shittier character anyway.
They're at it again here as well... Harley Quinn as seen in her shitty new comic and classic Joker from when he was still an iconic villain.
The statues they give are just.. meh?
They look like they've jsut used the same statue from the Femme Fatales box with added height to her combat panties.. so now it looks like she's wearing Spanx (Psst... you're not supposed to actually show Spanx.. they go UNDER your clothes Harley, UNDER!)
While Joker is wearing his stupid cut off face from the New 52 and his classic threads. No plumber/electrician outfit for ol' Joe Kerr?
Also they're like USD $40! Screw that! They could have at least made a new Harley Quinn figure for that kind of money!
Even further more ugly Harley Quinn merchandise to feast your eyes on!
Yeah - DC's biggest cash cow apart from Batman is in full swing and they are going to milk her until she is bone dry and used up, and they essentially destroy her character, strolling past all her heart broken fans on their way to the bank, depositing their ill gotten gains with a barely suppressed chuckle thinking they actually know their characters and are doing a good job of giving fans what they want......
Holeeeee Shitcakeerolleesss I'm depressed now.
 |
| Just let me get close enough to the DC execs to hit them with this mallet! |
Anyway, since they're green lighting things with her in them left right and centre, you know it's going to steamroll us all to oblivion so you might as well sit back and enjoy some laughs at their expense for a change.
First up - DC comics Wood Warriors Harley Quinn
What the heck is this and who comes up with these? Apparently she's super poseable, stackable and full of 'fidgety fun' while being packed in it's own organic window box.
I can't look away from her eyes.. a part of me knows that it's supposed to be her domino mask but all I see is angry, angry eyebrows.
Anyway it's 8"/20.32cm of USD$19.99 fun?
Remember how I'm such a fan of Margot Robbie's bastardised version of Harley Quinn in Suicide Squad?
No? Oh yeah, I'm not.
Not only was her acting and outfit sub par, she took a huge steaming shit on a character I've loved since childhood.
So now we have things like this blank death robot Suicide Squad Solar Powered Body Knocker Harley Quinn.
Still, it's only 6" tall and manages to do it's make-up better than Margot Robbie on her best day so that's something. I wonder if her pasty skin will melt though, if we put one in the sun?
It's on here because the 'Six Flags' cartooney merchandise look does not translate well with the pointy face.
It seems like whenever I look at this thing dead on I hear the theme from Jaws play.. and I'm not sure if it's because everything is so angular and pointy or because she's glaring at me.
I suppose I'd glare too if someone kept pouring hot substances in my exposed brain cavity.
I do quite like the base though and the liliripe handles.
What the actual hell is this?
A DC Unkl 3" vinyl Harley Quinn figure?
That does nothing to tell me what the hell happened to her face, her head, her legs or even her arms?
This is the Frankenstein's monster of Harley Quinn because it looks like someone chopped up random bits of other Harley Quinns and stuck them together, hoping no one would notice and then they would score like USD$8-12 per pop.
Now I am a huge fan of the Bombshells and I also love my classic Harley Quinn Dorbz because it is adorbablez to the max but sometimes these things don't mix well together.
Case in point.. the first thing I thought when I saw this was 'Did someone punch her in the eyes?' which is not adorable at all.
I get that it's supposed to be her make-up, but didn't she just have it on her upper lids? That and the fact that the detail on her head/goggles are amazing but everything else looks hastily slapped on make this 3" doll appear on my list.
I have no idea why it's called that, I'm betting comic stores trying to sell this are cursing the manufacturer black and blue.
This figure puts me in mind of something from Aardman studios/claymation.. which is not in itself a bad thing because I like them..
But I don't know what this has to do with anything? The description states that it's meant to be the Justice League redesigned in their youth.
Umm.. I did not know that Harley Quinn had even been anywhere somewhat *close* to joining the Justice League?
She's even got her initials on her mallet in case she forgets who she is during a 'light smashing' spree or her kindy has to send it back to her parents. It's also like $30 so what the hell guys?
Which probably explains this Bratz style bobblehead with the overly cutesy eyes one would surely find in a My Little Pony collection.
As well as being Suicide Squad themed, I hate this because it's trying to make 'that' Harley Quinn cute when she is anything but.
They've cleaned her face up, removed all of her nasty tramp tattoos apart from the widdle wuv heart on her face aaawww sooo cute - NO.
Lucky last for today... here is a Joker and Harley Quinn Eaglemoss masterpiece collection. It features 1:16 scale polyresin figurines along with a 28 page magazine that is meant to elaborate on the infamous couple's history.
I have a few issues with these things. Namely, whenever I see one, there are two characters and they're from mismatched timelines.
This one is probably one of the worst offenders.. I think they confused Batgirl with Catwoman here as well... but getting past that.. we have classic Poison Ivy, New 52 Harley Quinn and I'm sure that's New 52 Batgirl as well but again.. not really a femme fatale in the sense that she's not a villain.. or fatal.
The box they come in includes a picture of a more green Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn as she was originally seen in her annoying solo run with Palmiotti/Connor that tried so hard to escape the New 52 but ended up making her a shittier character anyway.
They're at it again here as well... Harley Quinn as seen in her shitty new comic and classic Joker from when he was still an iconic villain.
The statues they give are just.. meh?
They look like they've jsut used the same statue from the Femme Fatales box with added height to her combat panties.. so now it looks like she's wearing Spanx (Psst... you're not supposed to actually show Spanx.. they go UNDER your clothes Harley, UNDER!)
While Joker is wearing his stupid cut off face from the New 52 and his classic threads. No plumber/electrician outfit for ol' Joe Kerr?
Also they're like USD $40! Screw that! They could have at least made a new Harley Quinn figure for that kind of money!
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