Harley and Ivy meet Betty and Veronica #3

Originally I was going to do a review of Batman and Harley Quinn, but then I found out that the sequel comic was out before the prequel comic and that made me irrationally angry and confused (especially over which one's Harley Quinn and Batman and which is Batman and Harley Quinn) so I decided do review something else.

Then I remember that this comic kinda sucks too but now I'm already committed so dammit!!

Alright then - covers first. Main cover... nothing to write home about. I'm pretty sure they just reused the same image of Hardly Quinn jumping (what, is she the new Pikachu now? Even that guy has branched out though!) and then the rest of that cover and the variant cover decided to drive home the cheerleader fetish but not in a porno way, more in an all American cheerleader style.

That's fine I guess, as long as you actually DELIVER on the whole cheerleader thing. I wanna see these skills not just have someone exposition that they're staying alive *because* of unseen cheerleader skills. That's bull turd. And question? Why is Betty's uniform torn on the first cover? Oh, she's got knuckle dusters and spiky cuffs, she's supposed to be Harley. Meanwhile, Betty has the decency to at least do up her shoelaces while running from Harley's foes. While the second cover looks better art wise, I gotta say I was expecting a comparison of Ivy and Veronica instead of the old 'my shadow's alive and someone else' gag.
Well, fool me once I guess.



When we last left off, there was some lame drama about body switching which I also called BS on because the art/story was very unclear about it (just lots of screaming and fainting from Betty ans Veronica's perspective) and I remember thinking it was stupid that two teenagers and two adults had interchangeable bodies.


Well, more on that story because they totally did switch bodies, and conveniently both sets of girls wake up in bed together to figure that out! Man, just think of how many pages we would have lost if Betty had been taken to her own house and Harley and Ivy dumped in their own hideouts or on some Gotham Street corner.

Veronica's maid doesn't realise anything's amiss and Catwoman is... decidedly caring in this. Kinda weird.




I mean, damn, the Lodge's lodge must have a bajillion rooms and they bunk these two together. Especially after the fighting and the fainting - no doctors on call?





I don't understand the action in the second page above there. Betley shoves Ronivy out of the way and somehow flips upside down and gets stuck in Hardly's cirque de sore loser set up, but is then immediately back on solid ground with no further explanation. Then we get further explanation about how these bodies can harness powers or some shit. Betley discovers that she can flip and stuff good and do other stuff good too (which presumably she couldn't do as a gymnastics champion and cheerleader) while Ronivy takes all of two seconds to master the green but then asks if plants poop.

...ASKS IF PLANTS POOP. 

Coming up in the next issue!

Meanwhile Ivyca and Hartty decide to become Betty and Veronica in order to infiltrate the system and execute their Sweetwater Swamp plan. (Remember that? Is that still a thing?) And they'll do it by going to school and becoming friends with the teenagers there!

When they arrive at school they call out "heya Red!" but when Archie responds to them they do the old "Do I know you?" schtick. Sheesh, why not just stick a post it note to your face saying "I'm totally Betty! Please do not ask me any personal questions!"

I mean damn, even Austin Powers handled this situation with more aplomb.

Then Ivyca forgets how school works because in her own words - she skipped several grades. So, she still went to school up to the American sixth grade and then she went to college which means she should have a basic understanding of how classes work.

This is a grown woman, a scientist with a freaking PHD and ironically, being so smart means she is stupid about school. Geez, has she never even watched a high school TV show or spoken to her previous friends about their experiences? What even is this?







Fortunately Ivyca gets a pop quiz in 'botany' class ... shit, was I skipped to college too or are American schooling systems extremely random and convenient? And oh look, Hartty gets to show off her gymnastic skills and act like a tough guy in front of several teenagers. Then everyone gets to fawn over her mad skills while everyone else forgets about Ronivy and Betley's part in the story.

No, wait here we are. Turns out while we weren't looking, they have kept their costumes on and robbed some criminals and are now being threatened by some SWAT looking people.
They justify it as they have no friends, phones or credit cards but geez, how hard would it be to find some civilian wear in the hideout and go to a police station or shelter or something to say hey I need to make a phone call instead of wandering a town you don't know dressed as a criminal and immediately committing a crime? Shoot, they could have even hopped a train.

Ok, well they could have before they realised they were idiots and attacked police dressed as super villains. Turns out you can just go to a dealership and ask for a generic car (one seat, four wheels!) hand over a bag of money and get given a key, no questions asked!  They don't even count the money (this is the girls AND the dealership)  which funnily enough is normal size in the bag but when the dealership staff take it out of the burlap it's suddenly the size of an A3 paper.

Turns out the dealer guy knows Lamprey guy (who still hasn't been explained to us) and gives him the heads up. Me, I would have detained Betley and Ronivy while doing "paperwork and contracts" until Lamprey got them but that's because *I'm* a Grade A choice villain and I get shit done.

It amuses me how Lamprey's assistant speaks clearly across the room to him and then whispers across the room to him and there are no issues. Did he not walk past her to leave the room he was currently in?

Oh right, Dealer Guy was trying to off them in a lemon... I get it. Peachface turns up and rams the car. Shenanigans ensue. School kids are shocked, shocked an appalled at the best buddies mentality Hartty and Ivyca are displaying. No-one cares that Reggie has been all but missing since halfway through the night until a brief 'interlude' showing him laughing up a storm on a train, still thinking he's the Joker after a whup to the noggin'.

He turns up just in time to save the girls from projectile malfunction and from having to murder someone themselves. They recognise him as Reggie but he thinks he's Joker because that's how head injuries work.

Wotta Comedian!

Ivy: Harley, please don't tell me you tried to use the stove again--

Harley: Nom, nom, nom -- thanks, Mrs. Doubtfire!

Ivy: Quiet, Testosterone. I so got this. 

Betty: If your subconscious is that strong, just skip the car and will us home! These Gotham drivers are crazy!

The Short End of the Jester Schtick

This is just a really weird comic. They focus on small things like frenemies hugging and skip over parts like actual Betty and Veronica stealing a large amount of money. There's faked concern over two girls fainting and no concern after a kid literally goes missing after receiving a concussion.

I would have bought actual Harley and Ivy trying to enact their plan more if they had tried to even sneak out of school once - even if they got caught -  but no they just stayed put and enjoyed their Freaky Friday knock off.

Bit disappointed Sabrina - who is toted as one of Betty and Veronica's friends - doesn't even notice her buddies are different and no one knows or has even commented on where the other two costumed idiots turned up.

Probably just for hardcore cross over fans.. it's not a terrible comic but if you stop to think about what you're reading, it kind of ruins it for you.