Harley and Ivy meet Betty and Veronica #4

Ah, how this series makes me nostalgic for high school bullshit. Wait, no it doesn't! High school was bullshit!

I'm kinda getting sick of seeing these cheerleader covers. Like.. this series still hasn't told me if Veronica is actually a cheerleader so I guess it's just that people like drawing older women in high schooler's bodies wearing cheerleaders outfits. Should we just be lucky Betty and Veronica don't go to a religious school too?









Anyway, we last left off with Ronnie still thinking he was the Joker after a whack to the noggin' and his intervention has somehow helped Betley and Ronivy instead of getting them all killed.

I get the girls using the distraction to their advantage but let's be frank. What is going on in panel 2 there? Are they leaping towards or attacking their foes or is this just a show of power?
There's no perspective and only later are we shown that they are anywhere near Reggie-Joker. Seemingly AFTER the thugs leave the scene.
I do like Ronivy's hippie talk though, that was pretty funny.

They decide to hide from the cops in a tree that Ronivy mutates - the tree subsequently falls down but manages to hide them anyway.

Next, we're back at highschool with Hartty and Ivyca. They can't remember anyone's name and don't even respond to their own 'names.' The Blossom twins - look, who even are these people I don't read Archie comics! - appear and start some drama about not being invited to the party.

Hartty even tries to blow their cover even further by bemoaning being back at high school...

Seemingly all made up, they make plans to go to the drive in that night. Even Archie gets an invite. He's hesitant, but good to go once rich boy tells him he's paying.

How rich? Well.

300 USD on a freakin' sweater? That's ridiculous by itself but more so when you consider how hot it appears to be in this issue!


Anyway, back with the loonie's bodies...

I get that they want to help Reggie but does anyone else feel like this whole kiss thing was kinda tacked on to be more high school shenanigans? Think about it. They know only a little about Poison Ivy's powers and Ronivy is barely in control of them. She's more likely to actually POISON Reggie than to manipulate his memories.

Well they do something to him anyway - so Betley has to carry him around basically.

Meanwhile at Lenny the Lamprey's, he throws scorn at his henchmen for being tricked by a fake Joker. Well, yes, I'm sure they had time to watch the news during their assault on the two felons showing Joker being arrested by Batman in Gotham. And seeing as how there is no time-frame here.. we know that Gotham apparently isn't so far from Riverdale, why is it so impossible that it could have been Joker? I mean, we've all seen what Joker does to people who imitate him, right?

Ivyca and Hartty hang out at the construction site (oh, that IS still a plot point? Good, I was wondering about that.) which is super conveniently right next to the drive in.

How nice is Ronnie's hair?

One major plus about Paul Dini writing this is that Harley has gone back to her "I'm not the criminal mastermind" ways instead of the "everybody listen to me all the time ALL THE TIME" thing she has had recently. 

The Blossom idiots have some stupid revenge idea about trees. Yeah.. that's about it. Some random sees Jason in the women's bathroom helping Cheryl into her tree costume but only cares that there's a dude in the bathroom, not that some revenge riddled fool is dressed up like an angry sentient tree.

Oh, the drive in is showing some bad 50's style horror movie about sentient sap spittin' trees. Right. 

Sometimes it seems very 50's/60's but then it seems modern. Whatever decade this comic is set in, Hartty reminds us she eats tons of junk food (but totally keeps her tone body.. ah yup. uh huh.)

I could get into Archie comics just for the Jughead though. Just sayin'. 

Now we're over in Ronivy's favourite shop buying normal person clothes. Only... they leave the store without getting changed and they're not holding bags... and where is Reggie? Plus they run into the owner outside at this time of night? 

Not even exaggerating. This is confusingly weird. 

Being very mobile for a person in a tree suit - Cheryl manages to chase the girls out to the swamp, spray them with maple syrup and take a photo. When she falls over, she can even sit up properly and
use her tree leg limbs independently.

Weird French shop owner guy temporarily loses his colour for a panel causing him to be indistinguishable from the dummies in the store. Speaking of, look, there's Reggie!  They left him inside the store and.... You know what? If they had had the store owner walking in from out the back of the store this whole thing would make a lot more sense. 

Whatever. It's just an excuse for Betley to go 'Harley Quinn crazy' and show us the most awkward headbutt scene in recent history. 

There is no continuity here at all! The cap-less guard keeps moving around, Betley's sitting down with her hands on her hips then suddenly she's handcuffed and manages to headbutt the guy across the room even further across the room. Seriously? Did no one proof the art before printing this?

Then Betley goes full Hardly Quinn - beats everyone up, steals a Taco truck, uses Hardly's annoying as all hell 'holeeee somethingstupiderolleeee' catchphrase, asking "WWHQD?" along with incorporating Hardly's poor English skills and feeling entitled to take anything she wants when she wants. 

Luckily this only lasts a page before she bemoans wanting her old body back. Phew, I was dreading mutilating my eyeballs there for a second. 

Over on the nicer part of Riverdale, Poison Ivy gets Poison Ivy itchies. Hahahahahahahaha. 

Now they also want their own bodies back.

Hey.... they left Reggie behind as well. Rude!

The Short End of the Jester Schtick

This comic was weird and the art had less continuity than your average New52 Suicide Squad, so I'm both impressed and horrified.


..............that's it.