Alright, I'll level with you. As exhausting and confusing as recapping Countdown was in a massive long shite-post... it was fairly effective. I've been wanting to get back into reviewing Injustice 2 for a while now, but I've been grappling with time issues, mental problems and the fact that I have no idea what I was up to issue wise that I literally didn't know where to start again.
So, I figured, I'll do something similar - run through the last eleven issues of Injustice 2, so I can start reviewing them in single posts closer to when they come out because I'll be fairly caught up by then.
Wow, all those starfish. All that rage. All that red and skintight clothes... reminds me of my last beach holiday. Siiiiigh.
Now here's the Titans and Booster Gold, stealing the Justice League's state of the art spaceship in their skintight clothes. Reminds me of my last space holiday. Siiiiigh.
Anyway, here's Starfire, Wonder Girl, Kon-El (as Superboy) with Booster Gold and his Skeets robot stealing the ride that Batman had. They haven't been able turn off the alarm, but Superboy notices another alarm. Booster said it's the proximity alert, but I think they should change the name to "Th' Main Man" alert.
Remember back in this review? Harley Quinn convinced Lobo that he was wasting his time with her, enough so that Lobo then went to find someone worth his time - in this case, using Darkseid to put out his cigar - but before that, he had some beef with Superman. So that little throwback was cool.
Basically the Titans are chasing Blue Beetle who was kidnapped by Lobo, and Lobo's been hired by some dude in a crazy big chair to get Blue Beetle to save the world.
Lobo shoots a Kryptonite bullet at Superboy but Wonder Girl epically deflects it.
I don't normally like the silver for the Wonder Women costumes but I don't mind it here.
Turns out chair guy is Metron - a New God that spends his existence messing with Skeets' logic programming. Starfire yells out the window 'Hey if you're so powerful, can you turn the spaceship alarm off??' and it works in both turning off the alarm and being a great icebreaker.
In the end they hitch a lift with Chair and Bike, off to stop the angry, angry space starfish from making all the green and blue weirdos angry as well
They all wear space masks and I was like... guys... 99% sure you can all breathe in space.. then I was like, wait, face hugging anger stars! But then why does Superboy only have a half mask?
Why would they even have half face space masks? I mean... what?
Oh, hang on, I just read some comments. Apparently it's so they can all communicate through the whole no sound in space thing. THAT makes more sense.
Anyway, Blue Beetle de-costumes and hides out in the space ship so it's up to Booster Gold to uh.. boost the kid's spirits.
Which means alternating between stomping on Batman's techniques and telling Jaime that Ted was his own personal hero and has an appropriate recording to show him of Ted basically calling the kid awesome. Booster reveals he came back from the future to try to save Ted but it was a fixed point in time and he is so, so, sorry. On the other hand, he does spin it into a 'now we know why you're here' morale booster.
Well look who we have here.. a wild Lobo. Isn't he working that cover? He sure is, and you'd better enjoy it so you can get past the horrific death of a Green Lantern squirrel and his friend the blue Green Lantern with army haircut and no nose.
Come on, look at those eyes then look away if you have any feelings for small talking critters.
Speaking of, Bleez - one of my favourite Red Lanterns is pretty blue as well, figuratively and literally. Atrocitus tries to care for a minute but then goes back to his favourite show - watching Starro run a slaughterhouse.
Speaking of speaking of, Lobo's story here runs parallel to some of the Deadpool 2 jokes but I appreciate them both.
This issue seems a bit disjointed. At one point Wonder Girl is like 'bro, you cool?' to some random Lantern which then does the classic horror movie reveal.. then it's ring shouts out a 'get to da Oa!' alert... I suppose even a possessed Green Lantern is still a Green Lantern - so Wondy and the gang all piss off straight away back to the planet, then they get there and the people there are like 'Who are you guys again? Why are you here?'
Mate, don't even question your allies, hey. They could just as well bugger off and leave you guys to drop like the emerald tinged flies you are. Anyway the giant burning starfish (whoa, that didn't come out right!) is now being used as a giant cannon of evil power aimed at the planet which is fair enough because ALL OF THEIR INDIVIDUAL TARGETS ARE CLUMPED TOGETHER so naturally the good guys are like 'wait, what?' then it's a rush to defend the central battery...
I don't think their retreat was very well planned out but it was funny.
Injustice often shares the same cover page over a few issues so here's a unique picture.
Now this one takes off where the last issue stopped. Namely with the Guardians realising they fucked up severely and the central battery was done for. Probably because we're shown that the entirety of the Green Lanterns and their allies were just standing there doing nothing so they have to be told like children that they need to shield the battery.
Not that it matters because Starro's had enough of this green tinged universe and it's misbehaved school kids.
It's so bad that Hal Jordan walks in in his prison jammies and demands a ring so he can join the fight, even though his ring bearing finger was cut off. Guardian's like "no" Pretty Female Lantern's like "please" Pretty Male Lantern is like "I'll be your best friend" so then the Guardian's like "well ok then sure but not on Thursdays, Thursdays is my me time."
First thing Hal does with his new ring is let loose Sinestro from his suspiciously washing machine-like prison because HE promised Hal that he would be his best friend on those special Thursdays. Will this cause tensions between Ranakar and Hal? I hope so! Basically everyone stands around Hal saying "um, no, no please, do not want, why you do dis" but no one raises more than an eyebrow to stop him. This is seconds after a speech about how no-one's going to follow Hal anymore.
The ring doesn't seem to have any issues with bringing back a defecting villain into the fold so, hey. This should all end fine. Hal's apparently leading the corps again though... and he made himself a new middle finger! Just in time to go into battle with the bad ass looking Red Lanterns.
I'm seeing a lot of red constructs, but not much lava projectiles. C'moooooooon!
I am a huge Wonder Girl fan (when she's done right) and this scene pleases me to no end.
For one thing, it's showing how true Superboy is to the values that Superman once held. If I'm going to become a threat, take me out, no question.
Second, it shows Wonder Girl on equal footing. He has no doubt that they, like their older name sakes, can take each out without any hesitation if the scene calls for it.
Apart from that, it's witty, cute, and pure shipping material.
Meanwhile, Booster and Beetle figure out where the angry space starfish is heading and fan favourite
Lobo returns in a bath towel - semi-decent and quite jovial. He starts chatting with the purple Green Lantern who is getting pretty tired of everyone's weird shit. Lobo indicates in a reaaaally subtle way that he likes those rings and Purple Lantern's just like.. yeah whatever. Why even bother arguing about not giving the killer Czarnian more powers?
This issue starts with Atrocitus showing off his pleasure about killing the Green Lanterns. I'm not especially a fan of those lanterns either, but damn if Atrocitus isn't a bit more demonically angry than usual. He's turned into a Bond villian, complete with Red Lantern Cat! Well, he was complete until Lobo turns up and punts Dex-Starr into the next galaxy. Is this revenge for Dawg's defeat in The Brightest Day? Shouldn't be, given they are technically different universes... maybe Lobo just really hates acid spewing cats that also talk now?
Props to Lobo, he loves pissing people off so instead of hearing that Atrocitus is powered by rage and wondering if he should have left the cat alone, he chooses to gleefully make the most of it and conjure up a big green doodle to defeat Atrocitus with. This amuses the imaginary figure of Guy Gardner to no end while Hal Jordan looks like how I'm picturing the DC editors reading the script.
Sinestro tells Hal to get with the program, and even saves his life despite having to listen to Hal lecture him about not killing the possessed lanterns when he wasn't even. A thought appears.. what happens once they pull a possessed starfish off of a lantern? Do they just leave the unconscious lantern there floating around waiting to be possessed again? We don't really see any Starro.. stars.. um, whatever you call them, actually being destroyed in these scenes.
More questions - this time from Beetle and Booster who have no idea how they're going to defeat the main Starro. Skeets almost blinks out after being asked for historical records of this event, Booster has a troubling flashback and Beetle is scared out of his wits... but that might just be Booster's super hero themed playlist.
This issue takes more of a depressing start.. although, Hal has a really good, morale boosting hallucination in the form of Guy.
"Okay so basically Oa and all the Lanterns are falling hard, but you can do this man, forget your past mistakes and lead the way - I believe in you!"
Why can't my hallucinations be that supportive of me? Mine are just like "set fire to everything, take down the patriarchy with custard pies and do a half assed job at work you lazy git!"
It's effective, every Green Lantern stops what they're doing and listens to Hal.
At first they're like we're not under your command! But then, like the last few times they tried to stand up to DC's Green figurehead they cowed quite impressively. Then they put all of their power into shielding Hal while he basically tackles Sayd. The Red Lanterns attacking individuals apparently vanish, which is really considerate.
They are then able to release Sayd from the starfish facial (don't recommend that at your local spa) and instead of discussing trivial matters, she immediately focuses on the big picture.
Then some really ugly Red Lantern just straight up shoots Starfire while they're all just hanging around forgetting that while they've taken out one threat, they still have the Red Lanterns and the possessed minor Lanterns to deal with. Wonder Girl and Superboy take this personally and shoot after this Lantern (and for some reason don't immediately catch up with...him? It?) while Sinestro's possessed daughter Soranik tries to cap their asses.
He instead gets cut down but is able to de-starfish her. Then we all get cut down because FEELS!!
Then his ring goes to Soranik because she's his replacement, but she already has a ring so everyone just hangs around and mopes instead of fighting the threats that are *cough* still current guys!
Frickin' Green Lanterns. Useless.
Oh, great. Now there's some Brainiac minions coming to join in. I hope you're all happy!
Brainiac's robo minions waste no time punching the escapee Red Lantern along with Superboy and Wonder Girl and eventually succeed in breaking their face masks. Which... apparently they DO need to breathe. Did random internet comments lie to me? Was I right the first time?! Will wonders never cease?
Probably not. First we now have sound in space, second we have Brainiac's skull ship telling them to come on board and he'll totally give them air with no death traps. Then he totally lies! Can you believe it!?
Meanwhile, the Lanterns appear to have got their act together and are actually putting some effort into doing their damn job. At the very least, they get the Red Lanterns to retreat. A lot of them aren't happy about it, but I suppose you don't become a Red Lantern if you're happy all the time, do ya?
Plus, Dex-Starr found his way back! Yay! As it turns out Sinestro was their main target anyway and Starro's off doing it's independent thing and they killed a lot of Green Lanterns so there's that.
Guy also gives Hal a talking to.
Eh, Brainiac. Not one of my favourite villains. He's like any super smart, technology based uppity douche... boring, rude and annoying. It's like Facebook as a person - tell me everything about anything related to you so I can advertise to you better and sell your data. Mwah ha ha!
Here he has stabbed electrodes into Superboy's skull causing HIM to bleed, and basically thrown Wonder Girl out to sea. What a dick. A dick with a hard-on for actual Superman. With any luck, evil Superman will crush his digital guts.
Anyway, Brainiac throws Superboy out and he rescues Wonder Girl who for some reason can't bust out of the constraints. I'm guessing it's partly to do with oxygen deprivation. Since Superboy has been breathing oxygen more than her, he helps her fly back to Brainiac's ship, intent on causing a mutiny but Brainiac locks the doors and knocks them back.
There's no words here, but their expressions say it all. Superboy is distressed but Wonder Girl gives him this little smile and look that sorta says 'thanks for trying anyway' but our plucky heroes survive to be shipped another day because the Legion of Superheroes rock up and save them.
Back with Beetle and Booster attacking Starro...
I appreciate good honest reactions to some of the bullshit 'chosen ones' are supposed to deal with.
Jaime speaks to the Scarab to try to understand how he can defeat this villain when his main attack did nothing. This leads into Egyptian style flashbacks which is awesome.
Jaime figures out what he has to sacrifice to stop the evil butthole of a Starfish and even though he zips away from Booster, once Booster realises what Jaime's doing, he races over to catch him.
Booster instructs Skeets to get Jaime back safe and gives the boy his face shield.
As if that weren't enough feels, the time travelling bastard comes back to visit his future self and brings the previous Blue Beetle, Ted Kord, so Booster isn't alone at the end. I mean, they're both dead anyway so they may as well catch up on their bromance.
Jaime awake on Oa to the mixed news that they totally won but Booster's gone.
Brainiac has had it up to HERE with bromances as well as romances. He's going to infiltrate communications, take their world, and find Kryptonians. Then what? Infiltrate our waffle makers, take our TV's and find our deleted tweets?? Someone has to stop this madness!
Meanwhile, Athanasia is chilling in prison on Stryker's Island when she gets a visitor. I hope she's incarcerated for her name alone, I keep trying to pronounce it as Anastasia.
Anyway, it's everyone's favourite butler, ALFRED! Hey Alfred, what's up? Whatcha got there? An immaculately prepared meal that you're about to drop? oh, that's nice. Hey, watch ou- aww, nevermind. He's not doing so well after his dip into the Lazarus Pit.
That doesn't matter to him though. Bruce's daughter thinks poorly of Bruce and by Jove, is he going to try to fix it!
Meanwhile, Bruce sits at home eating pot noodles and letting Selina warm her feet in his crotch. You know, he's had a stressful few years what with the whole regime and things. I guess he can have five minutes off.
Maybe.
Actually, no. Alfred is like stop using your pervy spy cameras to spy on me, you pervy perv! Go and manage your own daughter! So Bruce is like, well, I can't stop my pervy spy cams that are totally not being hacked by skeletal robots belonging to some rude dickhead, so I guess I better do the dad thing. Actually, I'm rich. I will out-source that shit!
Enter everyone's favourite jester slash diplomat!
Well, Ivy doesn't kill her so that potted olive tree idea must have something to it.
She's taken to the Semi-Suicide Squad lead by an easily embarrassed Ras Al Ghul. Harley's here to point out how well Orca has taken to pregnancy (betcha didn't know that an anthropomorphic Killer Whale could glow, huh?) attempt to explain the point of her olive tree in a pot and ask Ras to meet with Batman so they can co-raise their daughter/granddaughter together.
When you think of it, Harley's the perfect emissary. Half villain, half good guy. Sassy but not outwardly antagonistic. Every time I see her in her Injustice threads and perfect characterisation..
I wonder a) why the solo series she's currently in sucks so hard and b) why her outfit is so effortlessly... HER and yet we got some weird tarted up drug cartel hoe in Suicide Squad: The Lame Attempt At Something Resembling A Movie.
No, sorry, can't let that go. How did they screw up so bad???
Eh, anyway. I really want Harley's jacket. It looks awesome. Even though they did give her the alternate dip dye treatment, at least it looks more like red than it does pink. I wasn't a fan of the Injustice 2 outfit for Ivy but here it looks decent and I like her hair.
Plus the way she's not acting like a brain-dead fan insert character. That's always good.
So issue #68 opens with Brainiac being a dick via his robot skull hench things.
You don't just walk into a jungle, insult some random gorilla and then laser them to death with fire.
Especially not in Grodd's jungle... that's just bad for your health.
Especially especially not in Grodd's jungle where frickin' Grodd is watching you murder his brethren. That's not covered by any kind of health insurance.
Welp.... let's skip over to Atlantis. That's where Mera and Aquaman are welcoming Black Lightning AKA President Pierce to their happy underwater home. It's neutral territory, you see, so this is how Harley gets U.S. Leaders and Team Ra's to meet with the Batclan and their Justice Enthusiasts.
The U.S. Government wants Aqualad'shead on a platter I mean, wants him to stand trial for causing a tsunami on the last president. Mera's like maybe when you stop dumping your waste in the oceans and stealing all our fish. Batman wants Ra's to face justice (his pet name for his fist) for the genocide he's been a part of. Others wants Batman to eat his own justice, and people like Harley also need to be held accountable for their actions.
It gets a bit heated.
This bit I like. No matter what's happened between them... one word from Harley and Ivy's using her abilities to restrain all the attendees.
Probably why I don't mind Harley and Ivy as a couple (well, former) in this series. I'm still not on that ship entirely, I think in the main continuity (wait, this is DC right? Do they have a continuity??) it's a terrible idea.. Harley's solo PROVES why it's a terrible idea. Even Bombshells didn't have much meat in the relationship (pardon the pun) but here, you can understand why people want them together.
They just mesh. Plus they're written like real people. Can't stress that enough.
A lot of comments on this comic have bemoaned the fact that Harley's been given leadership power here. I don't see anything wrong with it. It's not even purely psychology, but she is putting her people skills to work. This is the nutcase that won over Black Canary and Green Arrow! The woman who survived living with the Joker! The semi-reformed criminal who's had their cake, eaten it, and then worked out a clever and fair way to make everyone join the crumb clean up roster. Half, or more than half of the characters in this room probably don't even like her as a person but that doesn't put her off speaking to everyone as equals and trying to get everyone on the same page. I mean, if you don't like Harley for this role.. who would you recommend? Who else has people skills, neutral standing and fairness in mind?
Hmm.. probably shouldn't have taken our eyes of Brainiac and Grodd. Brainiac is winning the fight against the Gorilla City Outcasts (is that a band name?) and eventually brain-jacks Grodd. Ruh-Oh.
I have to say mad props to the artist.. not only are their ordinary skills impeccable but they make me feel like the characters really are in space, or the jungle, or underwater...or wherever. A lot of comics don't bother with background images or backgrounds in general, which is pretty shameful. This comic seems to go above and beyond with that.
Brainiac secures his hold over Grodd and Grodd in turn gets his gorilla gang to follow him... they're going to take over Gorilla City and destroy the current leader Solovar.
Meanwhile, the Suicide Squad takes to the sewers to find Killer Croc.
Now maybe this is all the stuff from last issue with the U.S. Government once again representing Earth as a whole, but I'm glad this dialogue appeared. For one, it's something an Aussie like Captain Boomerang WOULD say and doesn't have any references to shrimp on a BBQ.
Secondly, it's nice to have this as a remedy for reading this schlock about King Shark being any match for a Great White since his transition to a Hammerhead.
Now... why are all these guys chilling in an accurately rendered sewer? Was it a mission? Personal preference? Did they miss Killer Croc?
EEEEEEEENT!
They genuinely want to help their lovesick bud bring some light into his life by a) getting him to the surface and b) getting him hitched.
I can't tell you how it warms my heart to see Cheetah happy and helping out Orca with her wedding preparations. She doesn't usually get much cause to smile. Funnily enough, when Orca asks Ivy about her feelings about marriage.. she mentions an Elvis impersonator in Vegas... with Harley...
Bombshell! Are those two secretly married or was she just thinking about being tempted?
Speaking of marriages, Orca and Croc get hitched in record time.
Afterwards, Ra's gets into a sentimental mood and reveals a tablet/device that shows the status of the Suicide Squad re: their bombs. At first, Orca is pissed and Croc is confused.
Ra's goes on to explain that he really bollocksed things up with his own kids and grandkids and he wanted to make sure Orca and Croc get the life they want for their offspring.
He turns off their bombs and tells them to amscray, so that they may have a happy ending.
Orca... is still pretty pissed.
Back at the white house, all the staff get taken out by an unknown threat. Black Canary and Green Arrow dash to find the president but also get downed in the process.
The culprit? A vile shape-shifter impersonating Madam President Lucy Quinzell. Or it could be some kids playing in the oval office. Whatever.
The real president arrives to take over but is immediately called to the situation room. I have one of those too. It's pretty handy. It morphs into any room I'm currently in. Ask anybody near me!
The president is then faced with a moral dilemma about how to act in this situation. Meanwhile, Grodd ignores any moral protocol when he mind-controls Solovar's child... telling them he will wake their father later. Or more than likely, use the child to kill Solovar which is depressing. True, he's also being mind controlled but something like this wouldn't be far out of Grodd's domain anyway.
Can you imagine if real world leaders talked like this and actually carried it out?
Booster Gold: Guys... We've crashed into the testosterone-fueled personification of the 1980's.
Lobo: Yeah. If a giant starfish has bollocks, the main man will find 'em an' tear 'em off.
Lobo: My Bike! Wait... Everythin' below my waist! Some of my favourite things are below my waist! You fraggin'.... FRAGGER!
Lobo: No! Let me back at th' bastich! I'll grab my own dismembered legs an' beat him to death with 'em.
Hal: I hate you.
Sinestro: I know.
Blue Beetle: Where do you think Starro is going?
Booster Gold: I dunno. I've never really had to put myself in the shoes of a giant world-conquering starfish.
Atrocitus: You kicked my cat. I am powered by rage and you... ....KICKED. MY. CAT!
Booster Gold: Oh. That's not good.
Blue Beetle: What?
Booster Gold: As a general rule, machines aren't supposed to trail off mid-sentence.
Blue Beetle: Booster? You okay?
Booster Gold: Yeah.
Blue Beetle: You trailed off mid-sentence. You know, in a way machines aren't generally supposed to.
Skeets: Honestly, sir, it was pretty hypocritical.
Superboy: I hope you do find him. You and Superman probably deserve to destroy each other.
Harley: Oh, come on. I've been on the wrong side of superheroes many times. One thing they don't do -- they don't lie. It's a bit boring, really.
Harley: Calm the hell down. How are you all so bad at diplomacy?
Harley: This is like global marriage counselling.
Black Lightning: Thousands of people have died.
Harley: Okay, poor analogy.
Harley: See, it's just like the marriage counselling. I just made the Earth the children.
Gorilla: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Harley: You don't have marriage counselling?
Gorilla: I'm a gorilla.
Harley: Decent argument.
Manbat: Wow. Gorilla sewers smell even worse than human sewers.
Captain Boomerang: If you honestly believe that, you haven't spent enough time in human sewers, mate.
Katana: How far in?
Deadshot: How should I know?
Katana: You've never visited before?
Deadshot: Why would I visit the sewers?
Killer Croc: Why are you here?
Deadshot: We've been thinking about you and Orca.
Killer Croc: DO NOT THINK ABOUT ME AND ORCA!
Manbat: Whoa. Whoa! In a nice way!
Killer Croc: DO NOT THINK OF ME AND ORCA IN A NICE WAY!
Killer Croc: ........... Why would I want to marry Solovar?
Deadshot: Not... He can marry you and Orca!
Captain Boomerang: Just so there's no extra confusion, he means he can marry you to each other. Solovar wouldn't be joining in your relationship at all.
Killer Croc: Oh. OH......
Deadshot: This is like the single most beautiful nature documentary I've ever seen.
Captain Boomerang: Right? I can practically hear an old British guy narrating the whole thing in calm, dulcet tones.
Manbat: I've stopped silently screaming.
Katana: We all have.
Orca: You will be the father of my child, and you ate a sentient gorilla for me. You can ask me anything.
Orca: Yeah. Having had a bomb placed in my head, being forced to do the bidding of a genocidal maniac, and having been transformed into an actual killer whale, I have to say I wasn't sure marriage was really in the cards.
Black Lightning: If you knock down the White House, the taxpayers won't be footing the bill. It will be coming out of your allowance.
Green Arrow: They called you to the situation room for a false alarm?
Harley: I may only be an imaginary member of the government, but that sounds pretty unlikely.
Black Canary: They're saving the world out on the lawn. As I understand it, Mittens the Pillow was the true evil all along.
So, I figured, I'll do something similar - run through the last eleven issues of Injustice 2, so I can start reviewing them in single posts closer to when they come out because I'll be fairly caught up by then.
 |
| Attack on Oa Writer: Tom Taylor Artist: Xermanico Colours: J. Nanjan |
Wow, all those starfish. All that rage. All that red and skintight clothes... reminds me of my last beach holiday. Siiiiigh.
Now here's the Titans and Booster Gold, stealing the Justice League's state of the art spaceship in their skintight clothes. Reminds me of my last space holiday. Siiiiigh.
Anyway, here's Starfire, Wonder Girl, Kon-El (as Superboy) with Booster Gold and his Skeets robot stealing the ride that Batman had. They haven't been able turn off the alarm, but Superboy notices another alarm. Booster said it's the proximity alert, but I think they should change the name to "Th' Main Man" alert.
 |
| For obvious reasons. |
Remember back in this review? Harley Quinn convinced Lobo that he was wasting his time with her, enough so that Lobo then went to find someone worth his time - in this case, using Darkseid to put out his cigar - but before that, he had some beef with Superman. So that little throwback was cool.
Basically the Titans are chasing Blue Beetle who was kidnapped by Lobo, and Lobo's been hired by some dude in a crazy big chair to get Blue Beetle to save the world.
Lobo shoots a Kryptonite bullet at Superboy but Wonder Girl epically deflects it.
 |
| I mean, look at this! |
I don't normally like the silver for the Wonder Women costumes but I don't mind it here.
Turns out chair guy is Metron - a New God that spends his existence messing with Skeets' logic programming. Starfire yells out the window 'Hey if you're so powerful, can you turn the spaceship alarm off??' and it works in both turning off the alarm and being a great icebreaker.
In the end they hitch a lift with Chair and Bike, off to stop the angry, angry space starfish from making all the green and blue weirdos angry as well
 |
| Digging Cassie's Artemis vibe here |
Why would they even have half face space masks? I mean... what?
Oh, hang on, I just read some comments. Apparently it's so they can all communicate through the whole no sound in space thing. THAT makes more sense.
 |
| Wait, tell us how you really feel! |
Which means alternating between stomping on Batman's techniques and telling Jaime that Ted was his own personal hero and has an appropriate recording to show him of Ted basically calling the kid awesome. Booster reveals he came back from the future to try to save Ted but it was a fixed point in time and he is so, so, sorry. On the other hand, he does spin it into a 'now we know why you're here' morale booster.
Well look who we have here.. a wild Lobo. Isn't he working that cover? He sure is, and you'd better enjoy it so you can get past the horrific death of a Green Lantern squirrel and his friend the blue Green Lantern with army haircut and no nose.
Come on, look at those eyes then look away if you have any feelings for small talking critters.
Speaking of, Bleez - one of my favourite Red Lanterns is pretty blue as well, figuratively and literally. Atrocitus tries to care for a minute but then goes back to his favourite show - watching Starro run a slaughterhouse.
Speaking of speaking of, Lobo's story here runs parallel to some of the Deadpool 2 jokes but I appreciate them both.
This issue seems a bit disjointed. At one point Wonder Girl is like 'bro, you cool?' to some random Lantern which then does the classic horror movie reveal.. then it's ring shouts out a 'get to da Oa!' alert... I suppose even a possessed Green Lantern is still a Green Lantern - so Wondy and the gang all piss off straight away back to the planet, then they get there and the people there are like 'Who are you guys again? Why are you here?'
Mate, don't even question your allies, hey. They could just as well bugger off and leave you guys to drop like the emerald tinged flies you are. Anyway the giant burning starfish (whoa, that didn't come out right!) is now being used as a giant cannon of evil power aimed at the planet which is fair enough because ALL OF THEIR INDIVIDUAL TARGETS ARE CLUMPED TOGETHER so naturally the good guys are like 'wait, what?' then it's a rush to defend the central battery...
I don't think their retreat was very well planned out but it was funny.
Injustice often shares the same cover page over a few issues so here's a unique picture.
Now this one takes off where the last issue stopped. Namely with the Guardians realising they fucked up severely and the central battery was done for. Probably because we're shown that the entirety of the Green Lanterns and their allies were just standing there doing nothing so they have to be told like children that they need to shield the battery.
Not that it matters because Starro's had enough of this green tinged universe and it's misbehaved school kids.
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| "I'm so done with your battery powered asses right now" |
It's so bad that Hal Jordan walks in in his prison jammies and demands a ring so he can join the fight, even though his ring bearing finger was cut off. Guardian's like "no" Pretty Female Lantern's like "please" Pretty Male Lantern is like "I'll be your best friend" so then the Guardian's like "well ok then sure but not on Thursdays, Thursdays is my me time."
First thing Hal does with his new ring is let loose Sinestro from his suspiciously washing machine-like prison because HE promised Hal that he would be his best friend on those special Thursdays. Will this cause tensions between Ranakar and Hal? I hope so! Basically everyone stands around Hal saying "um, no, no please, do not want, why you do dis" but no one raises more than an eyebrow to stop him. This is seconds after a speech about how no-one's going to follow Hal anymore.
The ring doesn't seem to have any issues with bringing back a defecting villain into the fold so, hey. This should all end fine. Hal's apparently leading the corps again though... and he made himself a new middle finger! Just in time to go into battle with the bad ass looking Red Lanterns.
I'm seeing a lot of red constructs, but not much lava projectiles. C'moooooooon!
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| There's always time for some violent space romance though! |
I am a huge Wonder Girl fan (when she's done right) and this scene pleases me to no end.
For one thing, it's showing how true Superboy is to the values that Superman once held. If I'm going to become a threat, take me out, no question.
Second, it shows Wonder Girl on equal footing. He has no doubt that they, like their older name sakes, can take each out without any hesitation if the scene calls for it.
Apart from that, it's witty, cute, and pure shipping material.
Meanwhile, Booster and Beetle figure out where the angry space starfish is heading and fan favourite
Lobo returns in a bath towel - semi-decent and quite jovial. He starts chatting with the purple Green Lantern who is getting pretty tired of everyone's weird shit. Lobo indicates in a reaaaally subtle way that he likes those rings and Purple Lantern's just like.. yeah whatever. Why even bother arguing about not giving the killer Czarnian more powers?
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| The next chapter is aptly titled "Lobo shouuldn't have a power ring" |
This issue starts with Atrocitus showing off his pleasure about killing the Green Lanterns. I'm not especially a fan of those lanterns either, but damn if Atrocitus isn't a bit more demonically angry than usual. He's turned into a Bond villian, complete with Red Lantern Cat! Well, he was complete until Lobo turns up and punts Dex-Starr into the next galaxy. Is this revenge for Dawg's defeat in The Brightest Day? Shouldn't be, given they are technically different universes... maybe Lobo just really hates acid spewing cats that also talk now?
Props to Lobo, he loves pissing people off so instead of hearing that Atrocitus is powered by rage and wondering if he should have left the cat alone, he chooses to gleefully make the most of it and conjure up a big green doodle to defeat Atrocitus with. This amuses the imaginary figure of Guy Gardner to no end while Hal Jordan looks like how I'm picturing the DC editors reading the script.
Sinestro tells Hal to get with the program, and even saves his life despite having to listen to Hal lecture him about not killing the possessed lanterns when he wasn't even. A thought appears.. what happens once they pull a possessed starfish off of a lantern? Do they just leave the unconscious lantern there floating around waiting to be possessed again? We don't really see any Starro.. stars.. um, whatever you call them, actually being destroyed in these scenes.
More questions - this time from Beetle and Booster who have no idea how they're going to defeat the main Starro. Skeets almost blinks out after being asked for historical records of this event, Booster has a troubling flashback and Beetle is scared out of his wits... but that might just be Booster's super hero themed playlist.
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| It's cheesier than cheese sticks on a margherita pizza! |
This issue takes more of a depressing start.. although, Hal has a really good, morale boosting hallucination in the form of Guy.
"Okay so basically Oa and all the Lanterns are falling hard, but you can do this man, forget your past mistakes and lead the way - I believe in you!"
Why can't my hallucinations be that supportive of me? Mine are just like "set fire to everything, take down the patriarchy with custard pies and do a half assed job at work you lazy git!"
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| To be fair, Sinestro's speech isn't very inspiring. |
It's effective, every Green Lantern stops what they're doing and listens to Hal.
At first they're like we're not under your command! But then, like the last few times they tried to stand up to DC's Green figurehead they cowed quite impressively. Then they put all of their power into shielding Hal while he basically tackles Sayd. The Red Lanterns attacking individuals apparently vanish, which is really considerate.
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| Move, Guardian! Get out the way! |
They are then able to release Sayd from the starfish facial (don't recommend that at your local spa) and instead of discussing trivial matters, she immediately focuses on the big picture.
Then some really ugly Red Lantern just straight up shoots Starfire while they're all just hanging around forgetting that while they've taken out one threat, they still have the Red Lanterns and the possessed minor Lanterns to deal with. Wonder Girl and Superboy take this personally and shoot after this Lantern (and for some reason don't immediately catch up with...him? It?) while Sinestro's possessed daughter Soranik tries to cap their asses.
He instead gets cut down but is able to de-starfish her. Then we all get cut down because FEELS!!
Then his ring goes to Soranik because she's his replacement, but she already has a ring so everyone just hangs around and mopes instead of fighting the threats that are *cough* still current guys!
Frickin' Green Lanterns. Useless.
Oh, great. Now there's some Brainiac minions coming to join in. I hope you're all happy!
Brainiac's robo minions waste no time punching the escapee Red Lantern along with Superboy and Wonder Girl and eventually succeed in breaking their face masks. Which... apparently they DO need to breathe. Did random internet comments lie to me? Was I right the first time?! Will wonders never cease?
Probably not. First we now have sound in space, second we have Brainiac's skull ship telling them to come on board and he'll totally give them air with no death traps. Then he totally lies! Can you believe it!?
Meanwhile, the Lanterns appear to have got their act together and are actually putting some effort into doing their damn job. At the very least, they get the Red Lanterns to retreat. A lot of them aren't happy about it, but I suppose you don't become a Red Lantern if you're happy all the time, do ya?Plus, Dex-Starr found his way back! Yay! As it turns out Sinestro was their main target anyway and Starro's off doing it's independent thing and they killed a lot of Green Lanterns so there's that.
Guy also gives Hal a talking to.
Eh, Brainiac. Not one of my favourite villains. He's like any super smart, technology based uppity douche... boring, rude and annoying. It's like Facebook as a person - tell me everything about anything related to you so I can advertise to you better and sell your data. Mwah ha ha!
Here he has stabbed electrodes into Superboy's skull causing HIM to bleed, and basically thrown Wonder Girl out to sea. What a dick. A dick with a hard-on for actual Superman. With any luck, evil Superman will crush his digital guts.
Anyway, Brainiac throws Superboy out and he rescues Wonder Girl who for some reason can't bust out of the constraints. I'm guessing it's partly to do with oxygen deprivation. Since Superboy has been breathing oxygen more than her, he helps her fly back to Brainiac's ship, intent on causing a mutiny but Brainiac locks the doors and knocks them back.
There's no words here, but their expressions say it all. Superboy is distressed but Wonder Girl gives him this little smile and look that sorta says 'thanks for trying anyway' but our plucky heroes survive to be shipped another day because the Legion of Superheroes rock up and save them.
Back with Beetle and Booster attacking Starro...
I appreciate good honest reactions to some of the bullshit 'chosen ones' are supposed to deal with.
Jaime speaks to the Scarab to try to understand how he can defeat this villain when his main attack did nothing. This leads into Egyptian style flashbacks which is awesome.
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| I am a sucker for this stuff... Yaaaaaaassss! |
Jaime figures out what he has to sacrifice to stop the evil butthole of a Starfish and even though he zips away from Booster, once Booster realises what Jaime's doing, he races over to catch him.
Booster instructs Skeets to get Jaime back safe and gives the boy his face shield.
As if that weren't enough feels, the time travelling bastard comes back to visit his future self and brings the previous Blue Beetle, Ted Kord, so Booster isn't alone at the end. I mean, they're both dead anyway so they may as well catch up on their bromance.
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| Here is as good a place as any! |
Jaime awake on Oa to the mixed news that they totally won but Booster's gone.
Brainiac has had it up to HERE with bromances as well as romances. He's going to infiltrate communications, take their world, and find Kryptonians. Then what? Infiltrate our waffle makers, take our TV's and find our deleted tweets?? Someone has to stop this madness!
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| Although he/it does have sweet skeletonesque hench-bots |
Anyway, it's everyone's favourite butler, ALFRED! Hey Alfred, what's up? Whatcha got there? An immaculately prepared meal that you're about to drop? oh, that's nice. Hey, watch ou- aww, nevermind. He's not doing so well after his dip into the Lazarus Pit.
That doesn't matter to him though. Bruce's daughter thinks poorly of Bruce and by Jove, is he going to try to fix it!
Meanwhile, Bruce sits at home eating pot noodles and letting Selina warm her feet in his crotch. You know, he's had a stressful few years what with the whole regime and things. I guess he can have five minutes off.
Maybe.
Actually, no. Alfred is like stop using your pervy spy cameras to spy on me, you pervy perv! Go and manage your own daughter! So Bruce is like, well, I can't stop my pervy spy cams that are totally not being hacked by skeletal robots belonging to some rude dickhead, so I guess I better do the dad thing. Actually, I'm rich. I will out-source that shit!
Enter everyone's favourite jester slash diplomat!
Well, Ivy doesn't kill her so that potted olive tree idea must have something to it.
She's taken to the Semi-Suicide Squad lead by an easily embarrassed Ras Al Ghul. Harley's here to point out how well Orca has taken to pregnancy (betcha didn't know that an anthropomorphic Killer Whale could glow, huh?) attempt to explain the point of her olive tree in a pot and ask Ras to meet with Batman so they can co-raise their daughter/granddaughter together.
When you think of it, Harley's the perfect emissary. Half villain, half good guy. Sassy but not outwardly antagonistic. Every time I see her in her Injustice threads and perfect characterisation..I wonder a) why the solo series she's currently in sucks so hard and b) why her outfit is so effortlessly... HER and yet we got some weird tarted up drug cartel hoe in Suicide Squad: The Lame Attempt At Something Resembling A Movie.
No, sorry, can't let that go. How did they screw up so bad???
Eh, anyway. I really want Harley's jacket. It looks awesome. Even though they did give her the alternate dip dye treatment, at least it looks more like red than it does pink. I wasn't a fan of the Injustice 2 outfit for Ivy but here it looks decent and I like her hair.
Plus the way she's not acting like a brain-dead fan insert character. That's always good.
So issue #68 opens with Brainiac being a dick via his robot skull hench things.
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| What, you didn't believe me? This guy's rude as hell. |
You don't just walk into a jungle, insult some random gorilla and then laser them to death with fire.
Especially not in Grodd's jungle... that's just bad for your health.
Especially especially not in Grodd's jungle where frickin' Grodd is watching you murder his brethren. That's not covered by any kind of health insurance.
Welp.... let's skip over to Atlantis. That's where Mera and Aquaman are welcoming Black Lightning AKA President Pierce to their happy underwater home. It's neutral territory, you see, so this is how Harley gets U.S. Leaders and Team Ra's to meet with the Batclan and their Justice Enthusiasts.
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| What I wouldn't give to see Killer Croc and Orca just chilling on the other side of the glass. |
The U.S. Government wants Aqualad's
It gets a bit heated.
This bit I like. No matter what's happened between them... one word from Harley and Ivy's using her abilities to restrain all the attendees.
Probably why I don't mind Harley and Ivy as a couple (well, former) in this series. I'm still not on that ship entirely, I think in the main continuity (wait, this is DC right? Do they have a continuity??) it's a terrible idea.. Harley's solo PROVES why it's a terrible idea. Even Bombshells didn't have much meat in the relationship (pardon the pun) but here, you can understand why people want them together.
They just mesh. Plus they're written like real people. Can't stress that enough.
A lot of comments on this comic have bemoaned the fact that Harley's been given leadership power here. I don't see anything wrong with it. It's not even purely psychology, but she is putting her people skills to work. This is the nutcase that won over Black Canary and Green Arrow! The woman who survived living with the Joker! The semi-reformed criminal who's had their cake, eaten it, and then worked out a clever and fair way to make everyone join the crumb clean up roster. Half, or more than half of the characters in this room probably don't even like her as a person but that doesn't put her off speaking to everyone as equals and trying to get everyone on the same page. I mean, if you don't like Harley for this role.. who would you recommend? Who else has people skills, neutral standing and fairness in mind?Hmm.. probably shouldn't have taken our eyes of Brainiac and Grodd. Brainiac is winning the fight against the Gorilla City Outcasts (is that a band name?) and eventually brain-jacks Grodd. Ruh-Oh.
I have to say mad props to the artist.. not only are their ordinary skills impeccable but they make me feel like the characters really are in space, or the jungle, or underwater...or wherever. A lot of comics don't bother with background images or backgrounds in general, which is pretty shameful. This comic seems to go above and beyond with that.
Brainiac secures his hold over Grodd and Grodd in turn gets his gorilla gang to follow him... they're going to take over Gorilla City and destroy the current leader Solovar.
Meanwhile, the Suicide Squad takes to the sewers to find Killer Croc.
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| Content you can really relate to. |
Secondly, it's nice to have this as a remedy for reading this schlock about King Shark being any match for a Great White since his transition to a Hammerhead.
Now... why are all these guys chilling in an accurately rendered sewer? Was it a mission? Personal preference? Did they miss Killer Croc?
EEEEEEEENT!
They genuinely want to help their lovesick bud bring some light into his life by a) getting him to the surface and b) getting him hitched.
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| And I mean they want to help..... just in an encouraging, awkward way. |
Some other stuff happens in this issue but it mostly involves the slaughter and psychic manipulation of several gorillas... so let's skip past that because it makes me sad.
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| Those eyes though..... awww |
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| Ahhh... that's better. |
I can't tell you how it warms my heart to see Cheetah happy and helping out Orca with her wedding preparations. She doesn't usually get much cause to smile. Funnily enough, when Orca asks Ivy about her feelings about marriage.. she mentions an Elvis impersonator in Vegas... with Harley...
Bombshell! Are those two secretly married or was she just thinking about being tempted?
Speaking of marriages, Orca and Croc get hitched in record time.
Afterwards, Ra's gets into a sentimental mood and reveals a tablet/device that shows the status of the Suicide Squad re: their bombs. At first, Orca is pissed and Croc is confused.
Ra's goes on to explain that he really bollocksed things up with his own kids and grandkids and he wanted to make sure Orca and Croc get the life they want for their offspring.
He turns off their bombs and tells them to amscray, so that they may have a happy ending.
Orca... is still pretty pissed.
It's understandable though. They move in on Ra's and bite the tablet holding arm off. He screams, but Orca orders him to be silent with an ominous move... first pressing her finger against his lips but then using it to push him down on his back... only to grab him face first and lift him up. Croc tells Ra's how bad he tastes, and puts it down to constant use of the Lazarus Pit.
In the meantime, Grodd and his forces arrive and pick up the severed arm (still holding the tablet) and tell the newlyweds to leave. Croc hesitates after being told the rest of the Squad will die. He apologises to his wife and lunges at Grodd but Orca interjects by telling Grodd not to waste a useful resource. Amused, Grodd agrees.
Back at the white house, all the staff get taken out by an unknown threat. Black Canary and Green Arrow dash to find the president but also get downed in the process.
The culprit? A vile shape-shifter impersonating Madam President Lucy Quinzell. Or it could be some kids playing in the oval office. Whatever.
The real president arrives to take over but is immediately called to the situation room. I have one of those too. It's pretty handy. It morphs into any room I'm currently in. Ask anybody near me!
The president is then faced with a moral dilemma about how to act in this situation. Meanwhile, Grodd ignores any moral protocol when he mind-controls Solovar's child... telling them he will wake their father later. Or more than likely, use the child to kill Solovar which is depressing. True, he's also being mind controlled but something like this wouldn't be far out of Grodd's domain anyway.
Can you imagine if real world leaders talked like this and actually carried it out?
The Short End of the Jester Schtick
I've already mentioned a few times in here how much I appreciate the art as well as the characterisation. From the first time I saw Harley Quinn in her first Injustice outfit, I wasn't sure I was going to like the series at all but it has won me over.
Everyone should read this comic, it's a stress reliever after the mainstream stuff.
Everyone should read this comic, it's a stress reliever after the mainstream stuff.
Wotta Comedian!
Booster Gold: Guys... We've crashed into the testosterone-fueled personification of the 1980's.
Lobo: Yeah. If a giant starfish has bollocks, the main man will find 'em an' tear 'em off.
Lobo: My Bike! Wait... Everythin' below my waist! Some of my favourite things are below my waist! You fraggin'.... FRAGGER!
Lobo: No! Let me back at th' bastich! I'll grab my own dismembered legs an' beat him to death with 'em.
Hal: I hate you.
Sinestro: I know.
Blue Beetle: Where do you think Starro is going?
Booster Gold: I dunno. I've never really had to put myself in the shoes of a giant world-conquering starfish.
Atrocitus: You kicked my cat. I am powered by rage and you... ....KICKED. MY. CAT!
Booster Gold: Oh. That's not good.
Blue Beetle: What?
Booster Gold: As a general rule, machines aren't supposed to trail off mid-sentence.
Blue Beetle: Booster? You okay?
Booster Gold: Yeah.
Blue Beetle: You trailed off mid-sentence. You know, in a way machines aren't generally supposed to.
Skeets: Honestly, sir, it was pretty hypocritical.
Superboy: I hope you do find him. You and Superman probably deserve to destroy each other.
Harley: Oh, come on. I've been on the wrong side of superheroes many times. One thing they don't do -- they don't lie. It's a bit boring, really.
Harley: Calm the hell down. How are you all so bad at diplomacy?
Harley: This is like global marriage counselling.
Black Lightning: Thousands of people have died.
Harley: Okay, poor analogy.
Harley: See, it's just like the marriage counselling. I just made the Earth the children.
Gorilla: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Harley: You don't have marriage counselling?
Gorilla: I'm a gorilla.
Harley: Decent argument.
Manbat: Wow. Gorilla sewers smell even worse than human sewers.
Captain Boomerang: If you honestly believe that, you haven't spent enough time in human sewers, mate.
Katana: How far in?
Deadshot: How should I know?
Katana: You've never visited before?
Deadshot: Why would I visit the sewers?
Killer Croc: Why are you here?
Deadshot: We've been thinking about you and Orca.
Killer Croc: DO NOT THINK ABOUT ME AND ORCA!
Manbat: Whoa. Whoa! In a nice way!
Killer Croc: DO NOT THINK OF ME AND ORCA IN A NICE WAY!
Killer Croc: ........... Why would I want to marry Solovar?
Deadshot: Not... He can marry you and Orca!
Captain Boomerang: Just so there's no extra confusion, he means he can marry you to each other. Solovar wouldn't be joining in your relationship at all.
Killer Croc: Oh. OH......
Deadshot: This is like the single most beautiful nature documentary I've ever seen.
Captain Boomerang: Right? I can practically hear an old British guy narrating the whole thing in calm, dulcet tones.
Manbat: I've stopped silently screaming.
Katana: We all have.
Orca: You will be the father of my child, and you ate a sentient gorilla for me. You can ask me anything.
Orca: Yeah. Having had a bomb placed in my head, being forced to do the bidding of a genocidal maniac, and having been transformed into an actual killer whale, I have to say I wasn't sure marriage was really in the cards.
Black Lightning: If you knock down the White House, the taxpayers won't be footing the bill. It will be coming out of your allowance.
Green Arrow: They called you to the situation room for a false alarm?
Harley: I may only be an imaginary member of the government, but that sounds pretty unlikely.
Black Canary: They're saving the world out on the lawn. As I understand it, Mittens the Pillow was the true evil all along.
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Play nice or play dead! Harley Quinn's rules!