I didn't even know this guy had a name. He's kinda like Sweetums, from the Muppets. You know who it is but they're not a main character.
Wait - why is this a thing? They just did the Hanna Barbera cross overs, plus Archie... What's the next cash grab tie in gonna be?
Anyway, the main cover for this cross over no one probably needed is it's usual Conner schlock (her arms are about as long as her legs and her eyes look frickin' weird) but the variant by Quinones?
I've told you guys I love the Quinones Quinn? He's even got her in the costume she wore in the 25th Anniversary special!
Both in scenes from the actual comic but the variant looks a lot more natural and fun.
Harley Quinn/Gossamer - a Hairy Predicament!
A violent storm leaves a large crate washed up on the beach at Coney Island. When Harley breaks it open to see what’s inside, she suddenly has a new playmate to add to her cast of friends-a large, furry, orange beast called Gossamer. It’s all fun and games until a giant robot attacks them. But who sent it? Harley immediately suspects only one man, but is it really The Joker behind this destructive rampage?
Now this special is still written by Amanda Conner and Jimmy Palmiotti because apparently when you leave a project you can't actually leave it. I wish they would. Every issue they write is pretty much a personal affront to me. Although if they hate me as much as I hate their bland world and shitty characters.. well it explains a lot. What a vicious cycle.
Some things I noticed about this issue.. it's not as outright shit as much of this duo's crap normally is. I suspect DC felt the heavy hand of Warner Brothers/Looney Tunes here. That said, it's still pretty weird. For one thing, the opening shot is Harley sitting on a Joker head inflatable. The second thing is Coney Island's beach actually has clear waters. I've never been there, but I've heard enough jabs about it to know it's not exactly paradise.
Then....
Yeah... see, this is why I'm not a fan of the whole ship with Poison Ivy. I won't go into a rant about how she's about as good as the Joker is when looking for a spouse but even this lobotomised version of Poison Ivy is just.. ugh.
Okay. If I wanted to read a comic about relationships I'd go and find a romcom or a good manga.
Strangers in Paradise, Ranma 1/2, Fruits Basket, Rachel Rising.... I could go on.
I don't crack open a supervillain comic to read about some asshole sighing wistfully, catching ordinary civilian trains, making phone calls and making sure their apartment is okay.
Barf. Besides, how many frickin' storms does Coney get? Didn't we just have one in her main comic and her 25th special? Ivy and Harley walk down the deserted street, Ivy apparently grew her own shoes while Harley wore heeled boots to the beach because... because of course she did. She can't even beach properly. WTF??
Okay, this scene gave me an actual laugh.
It was well needed after Harley's weird dialogue about how she's afraid of the dark and will blow away in the wind if Ivy's not there to hold her hand. Bitch, you eat like 50 hot dogs in one sitting, you ain't blowing away anywhere even if there is a hurricane! Lobotomised Ivy - to her credit - tells her that "needy is not sexy".
She then ruins all of her limited credibility by chirping on about how much she's looking forward to video chatting and spa weekends.. Great, next we'll be sitting down with these two going over their tax returns and credit card bills. Can't...hardly... wait.
We then get Harley turning around and breaking the fourth wall unnecessarily, promising that their spa date is totally XXX you guys. Well so far you've made swanning around in a swimsuit, lounging in a bathtub and showing up at your front door clad in only a bath towel so boring that I find that promise hard to believe. Especially when Poison Ivy - former eco-terrorist and all around villain just catches a cab and no one bats an eye.
Meanwhile, while Harley was just thinking about using the storm as a cover for wanting to bump uglies all weekend.. Big Tony and Eggy are actually battening down the hatches to avoid major storm damage. Harley says "Great work guys, as the actual owner of this building I'm going to feed my dogs and not lift a finger apart from securing my own windows." Then she just fucks right off and spends the next ten hours sleeping.
When she finally wakes up she vaguely asks Big Tony about damage and he's like "oh there's some water in the basem-" but Harley's already like "whatever, I'm going to the beach. See ya, chump!"
I've said it before, but this Harley does not in any way deserve someone like Big Tony in her life.
Now that there's an actual artist working on this comic we have an impressive amount of background detail going on. Although still not sure why Harley's wearing go-go boots on the beach again. Instead of helping storefront shop owners she goes right out to a large crate to see what freebies she can find because no one else has had a chance to claim it. Yeah, I know they gotta move the plot along to introduce Gossamer but this isn't exactly out of her normal behaviour.
Anyway, here's Gossamer. Apparently squished into a crate about half his size but then he shrinks on the next page. Artist error? Proportion nightmare? Plot device? You decide!
Harley treats us to such insightful thoughts such as "Holee Hairy scarlet an' scary! What the fuzzy hell are you? I mean... who the fuzzy hell are you?"
Yeah... it's so great that Conner and Palmiotti are back. I really.. missed... this ..... Man, I can't even finish this sentence sarcastically!!!
Harley takes Gossamer by the hand and leads him to a hot dog store where they feast with her friends. Her friends who are restoring Harley's building without her help. Apparently Gossamer's favourite food is hot dogs too. Is that some sort of commentary on how something constructed in a lab really enjoys something also not natural? Or just an excuse to show Harley stuffing her face and everyone else just starring at the lol so random exploits she has? Maybe it's obnoxious eating sound effects that makes Conner/Palmiotti collectively cream their pants?
She brings Gossamer back to her house where he mistakes Nathan for an actual hot dog and goes to eat him. A true hot dog aficionado would surely not mistake a live animal for something that probably isn't made from animals at all. Harley makes him vomit the dog up, along with several undigested actual hot dogs... and then they just wander off. I assume Big Tony's gonna have to clean up the barf too?
Then she pulls off this amazing trick where she changes the colours of her clothes around. This does continue a few panels down as well but here, where the two panels are adjacent? That's some New 52 Suicide Squad shit right there.
When Harley's being nice to Gossamer, you can almost forget it's the new Harley Quinn even after we saw her be a shitty landlord and basically take someone else's lost pet home because 'finders keepers.' What's the odds on if someone did that to her pets she'd kill them straight up? Yeah, pretty good odds. Anyway, she throws out this line...
"Y'don't mind if we give you a little shave ta see what's under there, right? Yer shakin' yer head no, so that means no, ya don't mind, correct? An' shakin' it really hard means ya really don't mind? Good."
If you heard that line without the panel alongside, like just heard it out of context.. you would think you were reading the rapiest shit ever, wouldn't you? Hahaha it's really funny, the way Harley is so boisterous she can get around consent issues with a non-talking creature, isn't it?
Um, no. Noo it's not. Not cool.
Back to stealing the entire Looney Tunes schtick... boy, they're just re-hashing the entire first episode that featured Gossamer, aren't they? That's either lazy, or sneaky, seeing as how Harley's target audience wouldn't be old enough to remember those episodes. Hell, neither am I!
So there's a scene with Harley just fighting a giant robot because she needs to vent her frustrations apparently and her whole goon squad is just out there with guns and shit without even first attempting to find out what's going on. Shit, for all they know, the robot could be the actual owner, or Gossamer could be carrying a fatal plague that the robot is trying to contain. But no, we just get robot punching action, ice cream truck stealing and getting Gossamer electrocuted but hey, she's fine, because of course she is. She doesn't shut up at all either.
Harley gets the brilliant idea to go to Gotham to find the Joker because she's sure it was him that did this. Because someone drew a smile on the robot and we all know who trademarked smiles.*
Now do you remember when I complained about Harley and Ivy being so generic and boring? It gets worse. Harley meets Scarecrow in a cafe (he'll text her if he hears where Joker is?) Mr. Freeze is happy to let her into his lair and ditto Penguin... which is interesting because she just had an all out war with Penguin recently. Then of course, she has to meet Poison Ivy in the shower. It's not like they're being over sexualised, but they do spend a convenient amount of time half naked.
It kinda ruins the whole Rogues Gallery when you realise frickin' Scarecrow just hangs out (with a noose around his neck, geddit?) and all of these villains seem to be texting each other like complete frenemies? What is this, Villain High School?
At least one villain can be counted on to do evil things! Hurray! Here's Joker trying to kill Batman and begging him to whimper for him.. okay, great. Now this has gotten weird too. Why is everyone so on the nose about their compulsive behaviour?
Even though it's a bit out of character - as if Joker would murder Batman alone, he wants an audience! Theatrics! - it's still more welcome than if we had HIM sitting in a friggin' cafe. Guh.
Anyway, Harley busts down the door and gets into a really weird.. overly cartoony fight with Joker before the giant robots bust in. I mean, if these were actually Joker robots, he'd want you to know. They'd come with a bad laugh track, he'd be inside piloting one and spraying giant acid flowers at you.
It's not a hard concept. The only redeemable part of the scene is where Gossamer asks Batman for his autograph. He seems really happy with it but then loses it in a later scene.
Right, now the robot flings both Batman and Joker far away, but decides to keep Harley and Gossamer. Because of course. And the fist it grabs Harley with conveniently stops being on fire. Because of course it does.
The robot "eats" them then flies off. In the meantime we get to watch Harley make digs about old white guys (gotta stay relevant!) and then defiles a childhood cartoon character by grabbing his penis. You know, when you go to hug someone in the crotch and then accidentally touch them?
I wish I was kidding. Sure, there can be some delight in 'corrupting' a classic cartoon character, but there has to be actual humour in it. See Roger Rabbit or Drawn Together for examples. Not just 'Whoopsie Daisies, I violated your consent again! What a rascal I am!'
I'm skipping the next bit because it's basically TL;DR. In summary, Harley gets her butt kissed by the Mad Scientist who gives her their entire life story in one exposition filled info-dump. Then they all eat junk food and the Mad Scientist gives Harley a super powers potion because that's probably going to be in the next special.
She's chauffeured home by some ass-hole in a trench coat while she talks non stop about herself and breaking the fourth wall and making weird noises that isn't just her overdone accent. She thought the ride in the robot was too long? Well, feel for Bugs Bunny** the chauffeur, who just found the one person who out-stinks him as the biggest stinker ever.
Okay, a second parter. Well the opening panels look authentic enough, let's have a little squiz at...
Alright, she's joking about using Agent Orange on oranges and banging all of the monster men that Hugo Strange created while breaking into what she thinks is his castle to force him into a slumber party sleep over..... Hmm. Well I'm losing hope fast for this one.
Well Harley looks like the Little Mermaid on crack and does an astonishingly accurate impersonation of Bugs Bunny at his most annoying and at the height of his cross-dressing phase.
Well with the aforementioned writers being back... we have issues. Firstly, they insist on persisting with the stupid and overdone beaver jokes. You know when Family Guy and Drawn Together did jokes for too long and it ended up becoming funny simply BECAUSE it went on too long? Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. Here, it's just never been funny past the first page they did it which was.. how many years ago? Yeah.
Secondly, Harley talks WAY too much. Yes, Gossamer can't talk. That's fine, but even when she has a scene with other characters they only get a brief grab at dialogue and presumably, that's only because Harley had to take a breath at some stage. Then we get The Mad Scientist and his latest experiment - the Exposition Dump.
These writers have no idea how to run a story without massive amounts of dialogue that ultimately, for the most part, serves no actual purpose. It left me feeling like while Gossamer and Harley were probably the best choices for a cross over comic... the material severely underused Gossamer to the point where this could be any given Harley Quinn issue if you substituted him for one of her other random pets.
Then there was the whole Joker aspect to it... it's not just this story, there are a whole lot of comics it seems doing this.. after making such a huuuuuge deal about them being split up and how Harley apparently was going to kill Joker if she ever saw him again.. now they're still split up but exchanging cutesy curses at each other. Harley still has and uses Joker themed toys as well as hangs pictures of him and her in the house?
Joker even admits he wanks off to Harley? What the fuck am I reading?
The art wasn't too bad although it differed in some pages. Like you have something that manages to make even New 52 styled Harley Quinn look decent, and then you skip a few pages and she's back to looking like multi-coloured roadkill!
Then there are things like this....
Excuse me, madam, but you appear to have lost a great deal of mass in your leg at a rather rapid pace.
All that said - even though they clearly don't understand the word cross over and misinterpreted it as 'just copy an old Looney Tunes bit without adding any relevant information about the guest star so we can spend more time with Harley farting around' - it was less painful to read than that stupid Genie special they did a while back, so that's something to cheer for. It was still definitely a slug to get through
Harley buys Gossamer someone's never picked up size 18 joggers that don't look like his usual footwear. They do kinda look like what he wore in Space Jam.
"Nathan is our friend, not our food!" - Sound familiar?
Harley's whole exaggerated "Innnnteresting" speech and trying to do both Gossamer's hair and nails is pretty much taken from the 1952 Looney tunes episode "Water, Water every Hare".
The Mad Scientist and the robots were introduced in 1946's "Hair-Raising Hare", which was itself the basis for "Water, water every hare." Their castle even still has the "Evil Scientist" sign lit up.
The Mad Scientist is a caricature of actor Peter Lorre who starred in M (1931) as a murder, Mad Love (1935) as a demented surgeon and later appeared in The Maltese Falcon (1941) and Casablanca (1942).
The Mad Scientist calls Gossamer "Daddy's little monster" which is more factual and interesting than this version.
When asking what Gossamer was made of, The Mad Scientist answers "From many things in nature. Animal, vegetable and mineral." This may be a reference to a TV quiz show but for me I started humming the best known song from The Pirates of Penzance. True Gossamer enthusiasts probably know that in Duck Dodgers and the return of the 24 1/2th Century it is revealed that Gossamer is literally nothing but hair.
Harley attacks the giant robot calling it a Klaatu Barada Nitwit - referencing the phrase Klaatu Barada Nikto, from The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951).
Harley: Wha--? Wait! No! That's not a hot dog! I mean... he is... but...!
Harley: Trust me, this is what everyone is wearing these days. Even when it's not Halloween.
Eggy: Oh..oh dear. It's a giant monster robot.
Big Tony: Yup. It happens.
Eggy: It has Miss Harley!
Big Tony: *Sigh* Poor robot.
Harley: Uuhrgg... this would hurt a whole lot less if it was a real ice cream cone.
Scarecrow: The absolute last thing... and I do mean last thing.. I keep track of is your crazy ex-boyfriend. If you ask me, you have serious emotional issues you need to deal with.
Mr. Freeze: Oh, and you realise your winter coat has eyes and feet, right?
Harley: Th-that ain't a c-c-coat. that's my new f-f-friend.
Mr. Freeze: Whatever.
Joker: By Howdy Doody's dusty drawers... what the hell was that?!
Batman: I never sent a killer robot after you.
Joker: Harley! Darling! I didn't either. But DO tell... what on Earth is that hairy red thing?
Batman: I must admit, I'm a bit curious as well.
Joker: Oh, stop. Tell it to someone who cares, you pasty plow horse. I'm in the middle of killing the world's greatest detective so please, show yourselves out.
Batman: I know it doesn't look like it, but I have a plan for getting out of this.
*Joker! Well, he tried to, in BTAS: The Laughing Fish but that backfired on him badly.
** Just changed enough to NOT look like Bugs Bunny. Ain't they got the rights, doc?
Wait - why is this a thing? They just did the Hanna Barbera cross overs, plus Archie... What's the next cash grab tie in gonna be?
Anyway, the main cover for this cross over no one probably needed is it's usual Conner schlock (her arms are about as long as her legs and her eyes look frickin' weird) but the variant by Quinones?I've told you guys I love the Quinones Quinn? He's even got her in the costume she wore in the 25th Anniversary special!
Both in scenes from the actual comic but the variant looks a lot more natural and fun.
Harley Quinn/Gossamer - a Hairy Predicament!
Aug 2018
Synopsis:
A violent storm leaves a large crate washed up on the beach at Coney Island. When Harley breaks it open to see what’s inside, she suddenly has a new playmate to add to her cast of friends-a large, furry, orange beast called Gossamer. It’s all fun and games until a giant robot attacks them. But who sent it? Harley immediately suspects only one man, but is it really The Joker behind this destructive rampage?
Now this special is still written by Amanda Conner and Jimmy Palmiotti because apparently when you leave a project you can't actually leave it. I wish they would. Every issue they write is pretty much a personal affront to me. Although if they hate me as much as I hate their bland world and shitty characters.. well it explains a lot. What a vicious cycle.
Some things I noticed about this issue.. it's not as outright shit as much of this duo's crap normally is. I suspect DC felt the heavy hand of Warner Brothers/Looney Tunes here. That said, it's still pretty weird. For one thing, the opening shot is Harley sitting on a Joker head inflatable. The second thing is Coney Island's beach actually has clear waters. I've never been there, but I've heard enough jabs about it to know it's not exactly paradise.
Then....
Yeah... see, this is why I'm not a fan of the whole ship with Poison Ivy. I won't go into a rant about how she's about as good as the Joker is when looking for a spouse but even this lobotomised version of Poison Ivy is just.. ugh.
Okay. If I wanted to read a comic about relationships I'd go and find a romcom or a good manga.
Strangers in Paradise, Ranma 1/2, Fruits Basket, Rachel Rising.... I could go on.
I don't crack open a supervillain comic to read about some asshole sighing wistfully, catching ordinary civilian trains, making phone calls and making sure their apartment is okay.
Barf. Besides, how many frickin' storms does Coney get? Didn't we just have one in her main comic and her 25th special? Ivy and Harley walk down the deserted street, Ivy apparently grew her own shoes while Harley wore heeled boots to the beach because... because of course she did. She can't even beach properly. WTF??
Okay, this scene gave me an actual laugh.
It was well needed after Harley's weird dialogue about how she's afraid of the dark and will blow away in the wind if Ivy's not there to hold her hand. Bitch, you eat like 50 hot dogs in one sitting, you ain't blowing away anywhere even if there is a hurricane! Lobotomised Ivy - to her credit - tells her that "needy is not sexy".
She then ruins all of her limited credibility by chirping on about how much she's looking forward to video chatting and spa weekends.. Great, next we'll be sitting down with these two going over their tax returns and credit card bills. Can't...hardly... wait.
We then get Harley turning around and breaking the fourth wall unnecessarily, promising that their spa date is totally XXX you guys. Well so far you've made swanning around in a swimsuit, lounging in a bathtub and showing up at your front door clad in only a bath towel so boring that I find that promise hard to believe. Especially when Poison Ivy - former eco-terrorist and all around villain just catches a cab and no one bats an eye.
Meanwhile, while Harley was just thinking about using the storm as a cover for wanting to bump uglies all weekend.. Big Tony and Eggy are actually battening down the hatches to avoid major storm damage. Harley says "Great work guys, as the actual owner of this building I'm going to feed my dogs and not lift a finger apart from securing my own windows." Then she just fucks right off and spends the next ten hours sleeping.
When she finally wakes up she vaguely asks Big Tony about damage and he's like "oh there's some water in the basem-" but Harley's already like "whatever, I'm going to the beach. See ya, chump!"
I've said it before, but this Harley does not in any way deserve someone like Big Tony in her life.
 |
| Cool jacket... at least it's closer in theme than we've ever been before... |
Now that there's an actual artist working on this comic we have an impressive amount of background detail going on. Although still not sure why Harley's wearing go-go boots on the beach again. Instead of helping storefront shop owners she goes right out to a large crate to see what freebies she can find because no one else has had a chance to claim it. Yeah, I know they gotta move the plot along to introduce Gossamer but this isn't exactly out of her normal behaviour.
Anyway, here's Gossamer. Apparently squished into a crate about half his size but then he shrinks on the next page. Artist error? Proportion nightmare? Plot device? You decide!
Harley treats us to such insightful thoughts such as "Holee Hairy scarlet an' scary! What the fuzzy hell are you? I mean... who the fuzzy hell are you?"
Yeah... it's so great that Conner and Palmiotti are back. I really.. missed... this ..... Man, I can't even finish this sentence sarcastically!!!
Harley takes Gossamer by the hand and leads him to a hot dog store where they feast with her friends. Her friends who are restoring Harley's building without her help. Apparently Gossamer's favourite food is hot dogs too. Is that some sort of commentary on how something constructed in a lab really enjoys something also not natural? Or just an excuse to show Harley stuffing her face and everyone else just starring at the lol so random exploits she has? Maybe it's obnoxious eating sound effects that makes Conner/Palmiotti collectively cream their pants?
She brings Gossamer back to her house where he mistakes Nathan for an actual hot dog and goes to eat him. A true hot dog aficionado would surely not mistake a live animal for something that probably isn't made from animals at all. Harley makes him vomit the dog up, along with several undigested actual hot dogs... and then they just wander off. I assume Big Tony's gonna have to clean up the barf too?
Then she pulls off this amazing trick where she changes the colours of her clothes around. This does continue a few panels down as well but here, where the two panels are adjacent? That's some New 52 Suicide Squad shit right there.
When Harley's being nice to Gossamer, you can almost forget it's the new Harley Quinn even after we saw her be a shitty landlord and basically take someone else's lost pet home because 'finders keepers.' What's the odds on if someone did that to her pets she'd kill them straight up? Yeah, pretty good odds. Anyway, she throws out this line...
"Y'don't mind if we give you a little shave ta see what's under there, right? Yer shakin' yer head no, so that means no, ya don't mind, correct? An' shakin' it really hard means ya really don't mind? Good."
If you heard that line without the panel alongside, like just heard it out of context.. you would think you were reading the rapiest shit ever, wouldn't you? Hahaha it's really funny, the way Harley is so boisterous she can get around consent issues with a non-talking creature, isn't it?
Um, no. Noo it's not. Not cool.
Back to stealing the entire Looney Tunes schtick... boy, they're just re-hashing the entire first episode that featured Gossamer, aren't they? That's either lazy, or sneaky, seeing as how Harley's target audience wouldn't be old enough to remember those episodes. Hell, neither am I!
So there's a scene with Harley just fighting a giant robot because she needs to vent her frustrations apparently and her whole goon squad is just out there with guns and shit without even first attempting to find out what's going on. Shit, for all they know, the robot could be the actual owner, or Gossamer could be carrying a fatal plague that the robot is trying to contain. But no, we just get robot punching action, ice cream truck stealing and getting Gossamer electrocuted but hey, she's fine, because of course she is. She doesn't shut up at all either.
Harley gets the brilliant idea to go to Gotham to find the Joker because she's sure it was him that did this. Because someone drew a smile on the robot and we all know who trademarked smiles.*
 |
| Then they get a personalised message about the next stop. That's brave of them. |
Now do you remember when I complained about Harley and Ivy being so generic and boring? It gets worse. Harley meets Scarecrow in a cafe (he'll text her if he hears where Joker is?) Mr. Freeze is happy to let her into his lair and ditto Penguin... which is interesting because she just had an all out war with Penguin recently. Then of course, she has to meet Poison Ivy in the shower. It's not like they're being over sexualised, but they do spend a convenient amount of time half naked.
It kinda ruins the whole Rogues Gallery when you realise frickin' Scarecrow just hangs out (with a noose around his neck, geddit?) and all of these villains seem to be texting each other like complete frenemies? What is this, Villain High School?
At least one villain can be counted on to do evil things! Hurray! Here's Joker trying to kill Batman and begging him to whimper for him.. okay, great. Now this has gotten weird too. Why is everyone so on the nose about their compulsive behaviour?Even though it's a bit out of character - as if Joker would murder Batman alone, he wants an audience! Theatrics! - it's still more welcome than if we had HIM sitting in a friggin' cafe. Guh.
Anyway, Harley busts down the door and gets into a really weird.. overly cartoony fight with Joker before the giant robots bust in. I mean, if these were actually Joker robots, he'd want you to know. They'd come with a bad laugh track, he'd be inside piloting one and spraying giant acid flowers at you.
It's not a hard concept. The only redeemable part of the scene is where Gossamer asks Batman for his autograph. He seems really happy with it but then loses it in a later scene.
Right, now the robot flings both Batman and Joker far away, but decides to keep Harley and Gossamer. Because of course. And the fist it grabs Harley with conveniently stops being on fire. Because of course it does.
The robot "eats" them then flies off. In the meantime we get to watch Harley make digs about old white guys (gotta stay relevant!) and then defiles a childhood cartoon character by grabbing his penis. You know, when you go to hug someone in the crotch and then accidentally touch them?
 |
| What's with the creepy Chelsea Grinning pervert in the dark here??? |
I wish I was kidding. Sure, there can be some delight in 'corrupting' a classic cartoon character, but there has to be actual humour in it. See Roger Rabbit or Drawn Together for examples. Not just 'Whoopsie Daisies, I violated your consent again! What a rascal I am!'
I'm skipping the next bit because it's basically TL;DR. In summary, Harley gets her butt kissed by the Mad Scientist who gives her their entire life story in one exposition filled info-dump. Then they all eat junk food and the Mad Scientist gives Harley a super powers potion because that's probably going to be in the next special.
She's chauffeured home by some ass-hole in a trench coat while she talks non stop about herself and breaking the fourth wall and making weird noises that isn't just her overdone accent. She thought the ride in the robot was too long? Well, feel for Bugs Bunny** the chauffeur, who just found the one person who out-stinks him as the biggest stinker ever.
Bonus Story
 |
| Writer: Sholly Fisch Artist: Dave Alvarez |
Okay, a second parter. Well the opening panels look authentic enough, let's have a little squiz at...
Alright, she's joking about using Agent Orange on oranges and banging all of the monster men that Hugo Strange created while breaking into what she thinks is his castle to force him into a slumber party sleep over..... Hmm. Well I'm losing hope fast for this one.
Well Harley looks like the Little Mermaid on crack and does an astonishingly accurate impersonation of Bugs Bunny at his most annoying and at the height of his cross-dressing phase.
The Short End of the Jester Schtick
Well with the aforementioned writers being back... we have issues. Firstly, they insist on persisting with the stupid and overdone beaver jokes. You know when Family Guy and Drawn Together did jokes for too long and it ended up becoming funny simply BECAUSE it went on too long? Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. Here, it's just never been funny past the first page they did it which was.. how many years ago? Yeah.
Secondly, Harley talks WAY too much. Yes, Gossamer can't talk. That's fine, but even when she has a scene with other characters they only get a brief grab at dialogue and presumably, that's only because Harley had to take a breath at some stage. Then we get The Mad Scientist and his latest experiment - the Exposition Dump.
These writers have no idea how to run a story without massive amounts of dialogue that ultimately, for the most part, serves no actual purpose. It left me feeling like while Gossamer and Harley were probably the best choices for a cross over comic... the material severely underused Gossamer to the point where this could be any given Harley Quinn issue if you substituted him for one of her other random pets.
Then there was the whole Joker aspect to it... it's not just this story, there are a whole lot of comics it seems doing this.. after making such a huuuuuge deal about them being split up and how Harley apparently was going to kill Joker if she ever saw him again.. now they're still split up but exchanging cutesy curses at each other. Harley still has and uses Joker themed toys as well as hangs pictures of him and her in the house?
Joker even admits he wanks off to Harley? What the fuck am I reading?
The art wasn't too bad although it differed in some pages. Like you have something that manages to make even New 52 styled Harley Quinn look decent, and then you skip a few pages and she's back to looking like multi-coloured roadkill!Then there are things like this....
Excuse me, madam, but you appear to have lost a great deal of mass in your leg at a rather rapid pace.
All that said - even though they clearly don't understand the word cross over and misinterpreted it as 'just copy an old Looney Tunes bit without adding any relevant information about the guest star so we can spend more time with Harley farting around' - it was less painful to read than that stupid Genie special they did a while back, so that's something to cheer for. It was still definitely a slug to get through
Joker and Classic Harley Paraphernalia:
- Joker themed water lounger
- Family photo of her, Joker and a dead dog in the bathroom?
- Photo of Joker in her bedroom
- Diamond themed banner and poster of classic Harley outside their building
- Batman photo on dart board in bedroom
- Harley wearing more of a 'deck of cards' theme in her attire
 |
| Not even sure if these are underpants, swimmers, pyjamas or all of the above. |
References:
Harley buys Gossamer someone's never picked up size 18 joggers that don't look like his usual footwear. They do kinda look like what he wore in Space Jam.
"Nathan is our friend, not our food!" - Sound familiar?
Harley's whole exaggerated "Innnnteresting" speech and trying to do both Gossamer's hair and nails is pretty much taken from the 1952 Looney tunes episode "Water, Water every Hare".
The Mad Scientist and the robots were introduced in 1946's "Hair-Raising Hare", which was itself the basis for "Water, water every hare." Their castle even still has the "Evil Scientist" sign lit up.
The Mad Scientist is a caricature of actor Peter Lorre who starred in M (1931) as a murder, Mad Love (1935) as a demented surgeon and later appeared in The Maltese Falcon (1941) and Casablanca (1942).
The Mad Scientist calls Gossamer "Daddy's little monster" which is more factual and interesting than this version.
When asking what Gossamer was made of, The Mad Scientist answers "From many things in nature. Animal, vegetable and mineral." This may be a reference to a TV quiz show but for me I started humming the best known song from The Pirates of Penzance. True Gossamer enthusiasts probably know that in Duck Dodgers and the return of the 24 1/2th Century it is revealed that Gossamer is literally nothing but hair.
Harley attacks the giant robot calling it a Klaatu Barada Nitwit - referencing the phrase Klaatu Barada Nikto, from The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951).
Wotta Comedian!
Harley: Wha--? Wait! No! That's not a hot dog! I mean... he is... but...!
Harley: Trust me, this is what everyone is wearing these days. Even when it's not Halloween.
Eggy: Oh..oh dear. It's a giant monster robot.
Big Tony: Yup. It happens.
Eggy: It has Miss Harley!
Big Tony: *Sigh* Poor robot.
Harley: Uuhrgg... this would hurt a whole lot less if it was a real ice cream cone.
Scarecrow: The absolute last thing... and I do mean last thing.. I keep track of is your crazy ex-boyfriend. If you ask me, you have serious emotional issues you need to deal with.
Mr. Freeze: Oh, and you realise your winter coat has eyes and feet, right?
Harley: Th-that ain't a c-c-coat. that's my new f-f-friend.
Mr. Freeze: Whatever.
Joker: By Howdy Doody's dusty drawers... what the hell was that?!
Batman: I never sent a killer robot after you.
Joker: Harley! Darling! I didn't either. But DO tell... what on Earth is that hairy red thing?
Batman: I must admit, I'm a bit curious as well.
Joker: Oh, stop. Tell it to someone who cares, you pasty plow horse. I'm in the middle of killing the world's greatest detective so please, show yourselves out.
Batman: I know it doesn't look like it, but I have a plan for getting out of this.
*Joker! Well, he tried to, in BTAS: The Laughing Fish but that backfired on him badly.
** Just changed enough to NOT look like Bugs Bunny. Ain't they got the rights, doc?
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Play nice or play dead! Harley Quinn's rules!