DC Universe Harley Quinn #59

Sooo... emancipated Harley wears a belt saying Puddin's Harley. That's totally cool, I guess. Apart from that, I like the details in her hands, the shadow effect is nice.. but it loses points for Harley's mother being shoe-horned in there when you know it's never going to change her high opinion of her angelic daughter. Some points back because Nathan couldn't give a shit. Does she even still have that stupid dog?

And no, not this time, crazy weeaboo style cover! This one is not as appealing as the last one. Your tubular body with melon boobs offends me and I don't understand what's happening in the background.

Getya tongue outta yer teeth unless you legitimately have food stuck in there!!



The first page is a bit jarring - Harley is dreaming about passing the trials and being a cosmic badass...while jumping over a crowd of well moisturised hands but the way she goes about it is just so vain!

"Brooklyn's favourite daughter, Harley Quinn...."

"I look so cool and hot!"

"Listen ta them, they love me!" 

This bugs me. (tee hee) But seriously, when has Harley faced any real opposition for being who she is? Let's face it, everyone gives her a pass, everyone apparently adores her, and she's never had to go through any cosmic shite to get to this point.
Still..... here we are apparently.

Watching an extreme close-up of Harley's eyeball like it's a horror movie, listening to her say she fell asleep on the comfy couch when she's clearly in a bed, then she goes to her en suite. So she's in her bedroom. Then oh no, she's got a bug head when she looks in the mirror!

Flashback to a day ago, where Harley is again swarmed by her adoring Legions, merely for standing on a stage about to be dunked. People even have the same foam gloves that Miley Cyrus tainted back in the day. So... this is for charity.. but I assume people have paid money for these, money that is probably going into Harley's pocket as we haven't heard otherwise.

So is her more recent fame based off her short lived faux-youTube series, that time she ran for Mayor or when she had her goon squad of stereotypes that tried to help the city but normally ended up making things worse. It's still really unclear if people realise she's that Harley Quinn that hung out with the Joker and what not.. every now and then someone says to her "grr grr you're a criminal grr grr" and Harley just goes "No, I've changed. Hmph!" and struts out to waves of applause from the general populace of Coney Island who just don't care about all the crap she's brought to their city since Harley "left her life of crime behind."

* montage of all the people Harley has killed or dismembered, the time she kept throwing her animal's excrement over the town, when she maimed people because she wanted to win a sports game, where she wreaked her SJW-type justice against people but in a way that was too extreme, every time she jumped at a chance to make her own life better but had dire consequences for other citizens (think Little Black Books, etc) and all the times she caused property damage*

Those three witches from the Captain Triumph bit are back for some reason. They've been a little hyped up but not really explained. I hate this scene, because it made me laugh but it is also so, so dumb.
I just wish they had the woman ask for anything else besides a hot dog.
A HOT DOG. One of the most prominent foods available at fairs. This comic basically shouts out Nateman's Hot Dog's NEARLY EVERY ISSUE and this dumb biyatch is like ohmigawd how do I like, find a hot dog? They're like, nowhere to be like, found or like whatever. 

Make it a potato whirl or churros or something where sometimes you do have to hunt around to track them down. But a damn hot dog?


They make a point of embarrassing Tina because she caused her dunk tank to collapse. But that's it. They never showed anything after the crowd laughing, not even Harley helping her up or trying to get the crowd under control. I mean, she'd do that if they were laughing at her, right? Make some loopy speech about how she's human and has feelings and blah blah blah.

Here, we just get Harley waking up, seeing her bug face, freaking out and smashing her mirror as if that would help. This alerts Tina to come check on Harley but Harley runs past in shame, causing Tina to skip past her exposition dialogue about how SHE ran off from the dunk tank situation...

Wait.. so Tina ran off in shame and Harley hasn't seen her since, and her first instinct was to take a nap? Geez.

Anyway, I assume the speed at which she ran past was the reason Tina didn't realise the thing shooting past her wearing Harley's clothes and coming out of Harley's room was Harley.
She runs past Coach and expositions about how she's blind so she..won't...see.. her.
People are more than their disabilities, Harley. She can hear you running around like a dork. Plus, Harley choses to compound this moment of stupid by realising she can't speak in this form.

* Montage of every time Harley exclaims something stupid when anything of any level of importance happens, or when she just constantly loves hearing her own voice.*

Yet here, she doesn't even think to say "Holeeeee Raideroneeeeee?! or something? Buck off.

So she gets upset about Nathan barking at her so she decides to run out into the street where things will be better.

Spoiler: things do not get better.

This is the next day. I assume these are all Coney locals so they would be used to seeing Harley fart around the town. So let's tot it up. 

This person has;

1. whiter than albino skin
2. a WWE Divas championship belt
3. red and black costume
4. pink and blue nails
5. roller derby themed attire
6. hipster shoes
7. a CHOKER. Why do a bug need a choker collar??
8. faux punk jewellery 
9. just run out of Harley's house
10. been a figure well known and loved by the community

So... the fact that she has a bug head is the only different thing about her - and her adoring masses don't even recognise her? Ouch. 

Besides, isn't this some kind of festival or fair? Don't people occasionally wear funny hats/hoodies or masks or get face painting at these kind of things? Especially when there is so much freedom about what people can wear/do to express themselves visually. Why do they immediately assume it's something other wordly?

I feel like this comic is saying that the inhabitants of Coney Island are the type of people who would go to a comic convention and be like "I met Superman!" and be dead serious about it. Besides, everyone knows New York always gets attacked by aliens first, this should be an everyday thing for them - a 50/50 mix of fear and being blase about it. 

I'm also concerned that Harley scared that dirty blonde man so much that he lost his watch and his shoes changed colours, and the people that were directly behind Harley have changed hairstyles and height dramatically. Also, a random bystander just said Holy Frag! The slang pseudo swear that Harley stole from Lobo! GAH!!

Hahaha apparently everyone bought apples to throw. Maybe that's why the stupid lady had to ask where the fatty hawt dawgs at! Anyway Harley runs off again and almost kills a stilt walker - maybe the point is she was too freaked out to try anything acrobatic - but it also seemed like she was trying to knock stilt dude into the pursuing crowd. Plus she's just jumped over some random guy's head. So, yeah, just a cow. 

She tries to eat garbage, then Tina runs past conveniently yelling about how she and Harley need to kill the weird beast in their house. By this time Harley is hiding in a bin so it's like... who is Tina yelling to and why is she being so plot obvious? 

Anyway Mirand'r turns up, Harley, the catchphrase stealin', language butcherin' bug who can't even speak right now still makes fun of the way Mirand'r talks. 

Tina and Harley have a heart to heart about how it feels to be thought of as a monster. Harley's all like NO, HOW WOULD YOU KNOW ABOUT IT I AM THE ONLY PERSON WHO FEELS LIKE THIS and Tina's like I've already had my arc back when you were doing your stupid YouTube videos and I had to literally anchor myself to stop everyone dying. Get over yo'self. 

Will Harley ever stop being self absorbed? Probably not. She doesn't even realise that this could be one of the trials until her belt glows. Like.. what else would it be? Something else just conveniently weird happening during your six trials? Urgh.

Anyway, Harley sucks it up and goes back to the dunk tank where everyone now wants to kill her. See, now it's more understandable because her arms are transformed and her legs look painfully broken. She's got wings and full on mandibles. But is no one seriously wondering why this 'freak out of nowhere' is wearing Harley's outfit? Wasn't she recently a Man-Bat? A female Fury? Why is anyone surprised about what she turns into next?

Getting to the point, she decides she doesn't care about what people think and that the attention she's had before this was cheap because she was cute and people didn't care about her. And now because she doesn't care if people think she's cute again, her bug-ness disappears. Yay.

The Short End of the Jester Schtick

Was it just me or did this seem really after school special?

It doesn't even do much to explain the point of the Three Witches. Harley is a riot when talking to them about Captain Triumph - "I helped him!" - ignores that she tried to beat him up (and failed), made fun of him even though he was extremely distressed, was the reason he was stuck in the first place and had to be cajoled into helping him, of which she did the bare minimum and that included a lucky guess as to where he should go, which resolved it without her doing anything.

I think we're supposed to feel all tingly and warm inside that Harley got her old face back and realised she didn't need anyone's approval... but the way she ignored Tina's hurt feelings and forgot how Tina felt during the time everyone thought she was a monster. That wasn't even that long ago!

Plus she called everyone in Coney haters for not realising it was her in the bug suit. I mean, if this bug wasn't HER, I'm sure she'd be the one hunting it down without trying to understand it. If this happened to me I'd write down "HELP I'M (ME)" so as to communicate with my fellows.

And all's well that ends well because Harley is cute again. Barf.
Well, she is cute in this art style, but somehow that just makes it worse.

They say you gotta suspend your disbelief in comics but damn, I can't build a suspension bridge and get over this one at all.

Wotta Comedian!

Harley: This ain't fun anymore, I want this ta be over, I unsubscribe, I wanna quit!

Harley: Oh Gawd, I'm inna dumpster roller coaster!

Mirand'r: Ohmigosh it's Tina! It's so ducky to meet you!

Mirand'r: The survivor and the softy. The wild card and the protector. The weird humour that I don't totally understand and the heart the size of a galaxy.

Harley: Can't let myself get twisted by the haters.

Harley: Tina! I can talk again! Yer welcome in advance.

Three Witches: Not to worry, dumpling. We witches are very old... and we're very patient. 

Mirand'r: Maybe this one'll actually live through all six trials!

Bonus Panels!

Frick Amphitheatre? Noice.

Since when is there a S.T.A.R labs in Coney?

Watch out... the butler will take your eyes!

Final Word

In British English - ducky is used as a term of endearment like pet/sweetheart etc. In North American English it can be used to say that something is nice or delightful. So Mirand'r saying something is "just ducky" is not super common, but also understandable. 

However, it's also rude British slang for a homosexual man. Rarely used, the last I heard it was in Blackadder in a quack pun. Can also be used to refer to someone who hangs around people who have already rejected them. I would have used little chick instead of ducky though.