DC's Very Merry Multiverse

Joy to all 52 worlds-it’s time to celebrate the holiday season across the DC Multiverse! In ten stories that will light your yule log and spike your eggnog, Batman decks the gaslit halls, Lobo goes Old Testament in space, Ragman learns the true meaning of Saturnalia, President Superman attempts to figure out how Bizarro stole Christmas, and Harley Quinn tries her hand at interdimensional caroling. These seasonal sagas are sure to help you have yourself a very merry Multiverse!



Another year, another DC holiday edition!  

Harley is first up so let's see what she's up to. Aaaand.. ok. Hmm. Our little Jewish Christmas enthusiast is horribly depressed and plans to kill herself. Well, that takes the cheer out of things. 

What's going wrong? Let's see..

Standing over a grave, presumably her mother's? Fair enough, that's sad. Sy not being able to visit due to Scarecrow Fear Virus lockdown? Yes, the real life equivalent of the Fear Virus has caused a spike in depression, anxiety and social isolation so this is understandable. She bitches at a bound and gagged Commissioner. Well, this one's a bit specific and I'm guessing she bound and gagged him so that's kinda making your own sadness.. - oh, that wasn't meant to be an example. I'm not the Suicide Police or anything but that doesn't seem like enough to bring down Harley. There she is though, about to become street pizza. 

Someone stops her and then beats her to it. He's fine though, because he's some spiritual janitor wannabe angel ghost who is apparently the missing Wonder Triplet who is also missing their powers. Fun throwback, but I'm guessing the modern demographic of Harley fans wouldn't know these characters. I was young when Harley first came out and I only have a rough idea about them. ANYWAY he's doing a crap job because although he stops Harley from dying, he runs on past her and "kills" himself in front of a bunch of non socially distancing, unmasked people, splattering them and their children (who think Santa just killed himself BTW) with his blood on Christmas Eve because he's an angel in training who thinks.. this.. is the best way to get his full angel qualifications? 

Jiminy Jillickers, what sort of people are the actual angels then?! And for that matter... for all this comic's suicide enthusiasm, they shy off showing the actual deed so all we have is an outline of a body hitting the top of the tree with a bloody sound effect. With that in mind... what in the heck is this tree made of that it would just impale someone like that instead of them bouncing down the branches like a festive idiot? Furthermore, did that mean that if it's not some sort of super pointy tree, did he "kill" himself super violently in front of a few randoms "just because"? Also also... what sort of jerk puts the tree right below a building ledge and doesn't barricade it off? Not just jumpers, there are always people who like to ruin holidays by throwing things at happy folk.

Not a good start - I already hate this fake ass, jerk angel guy and don't buy the suicidal Harley angle. She's just in too many pieces of the pie for DC to believably have her offed. 

Oh great, and now Harley just dumped a massive spoiler for "It's a Wonderful Life". Yeah, I know it's old as and I know the basic premise but still hadn't gotten around to watching it. Thanks. 

In response, Layma the angel jerk says "That's dark." As if he didn't just do what he just did. Then he reveals he's basically on his last leg of angeldom and 'can't screw this up again.' 

I'm sorry, who wrote this again and thought it was fine?

Anyway this douche has the power of multiverses, so they travel around so Harley can find the meaning of Christmas or some such. The only way I'm ok with it is because White Lantern mini-Harley is adorable. 

The dialogue here is weird. Harley's ticked she's a hero. Yep, White Lanterns are traditionally heroes but I mean.. they were basically fighting emotion zombies. Do ya wanna be a bad guy zombie or a morally ambiguous persons fighting against them? Also Harley's only entry into the Blackest Night before now was in Catwoman/Gotham City Sirens and she was in her original threads fighting the undead, so it's interesting she trash talks the good guys. 

Anyway, jumping to Earth 50 with no cut we have Harley and Layna walking around Gotham where Harley hears the heroes are tyrants and immediately assumes she fights them despite nothing being seen or said about it. Then she's annoyed because this version of her is still with Joker. They briefly try to give Layna some backstory - I still hate him and hope he goes back to toilet duty instead of whatever else he's trying to do. 

What is his hand doing in that first panel...? Cutting his ear off?

More weird dialogue... I mean, Layna's not helping people take dumps, he's just cleaning the toilet after.. I wouldn't exactly call this solving problems... OH, she means helping people like her. Well, he probably wouldn't be forced to do this over and over if he wasn't so shit at it. Speaking of, who's on the toilet roster while this jerk off splatters himself over random universes?

Also, Layna knows this universe's Harley was going to be here vandalising... why is he surprised to see what it is? 

Next is Jokerville. Not clear if that's the name of the world or just the town that they're kickin' cans in.

 She sees a homeless version of Sy and - despite knowing they're in a different worlds and having been to other worlds before - Harley still doesn't get the concept and is confused when Sy rejects her, having never known her at all. Not sure if it's because Sy is on the animated show now but they keep pushing this guy as a character but he's just... annoying at best. I mean, he's a bad spy stereotype, a bad Jewish stereotype, a bad old guy stereotype.... he serves no purpose in the comics where the only thing he really does is a) get Harley to kill people for him that she has no beef with and doesn't even know who they are, b) have relations with a bad Russian stereotype so Harley and friends can be like "eeew, old people" or c) get Harley out of awkward situations with short notice spy McGuffins. 

But that's ok, because Harley just wants to be eeeeevil!

Wait, am I just reading a comic version of the new animated show season 1 when Harley was utterly obsessed with joining the Legion of Doom? This is what's completely annoying about modern Harley Quinn's writing. She's nothing - she's not a hero, not a total villain, not really an anti-hero... they don't know what they want her to be, and she has no clue either. 

See, Joker works as Batman's most feared, evil adversary because he is. It doesn't matter that he has no powers, he's a threat because he's both predictable and unpredictable at the same time. He'd kill you if he thought it was funny, kill you if he found you annoying, kill you as part of a larger plan, kill or poison you just because you live in the city as he's on the warpath for a trademark on clown fish. 

Harley was never like that, never that far gone. In saying that, someone that upbeat and fairly easy going is bound to have a time when they stop doing that because things have gotten too bad in their life. This may be her time. But I mean... wanting to ruin Christmas for EVERYONE because she has a sad? No, screw that. No sympathy. 

So she's taken to an Earth where she's truly evil an-- 

Urgh. So lame. Shaming realtors, personalised plates, pumpkins and catchy songs in one go.

Well I'll say this - Realtor Harley seems to be in a damn good place and is HAPPY, which is a lot more than we can say for Depressing Quinn who's willing to ruin Christmas for as many folk as possible. 

Layna lays it on thick though - basically calling Realtor Harley a 'Karen' without actually saying the name. I mean, as a joke, a villain freaked out by a life of normalcy isn't bad... but with the extra crap it's just overkill and doesn't work as well. Now the one liner about the Joker nuggets worked well, because it was simple and unexpected. This one was too heavy handed and seems like it's trying too hard to put Harley in the "I'm not like other girls" basket instead of letting her shine. 

Well.. this Harley is too emo to shine, but you know what I mean.

As it happens, this shining example of real estate workers is the kick up the backside that Harley needs, and she pleads for Layla to take her back home so she can out-evil the realtor. She's even happy to see muggers, homeless folk and flashers on the streets. Of course, she doesn't do anything about any of them and continues monologing to Commissioner Gordon and Barbara as they're held hostage because she hates acting like the Joker and being associated with things he would do, right?

Are you telling me Batgirl couldn't get out these basic ties??

Story ends with Layna crossing the street with his eyes closed so he gets hit by a truck and again "dies" traumatising other people. He was imagining a perfect reunion at the Justice League. He happily flies off to heaven declaring that haha now someone else gets bathroom duty? What a turd!

The Short End of the Jester Shtick! 

Well as usual the DC holiday mixed bag is a .... well, a mixed bag. Geez, that's inspired writing. ANYWAY there are some awesome stories in this collection like 'Christmas by Gaslight', 'Teen Jistice' was a fun gender bender and 'Holidays Beyond' gave us a cool look at Jokerz amd Jokers.... Booster Gold had a decent story and while I barely understood Prez Rickard's Magical Sci-fi Desolate Souls Club Holiday Special - I laughed my butt off. 

Harley's story... eh. I personally didn't like it and didn't think it landed at all. So many unlikeable people in it even though it could have had potential. 

Wotta Comedian!

Harley: Ugh. Okay, make this quick. I got a mistletoe tag waiting for me.

Harley: I don't remembah Blackest Night being this adorable. 

Bonus Panels!

From the Batman Beyond tale:

Extra Stuff!

Wonder Twins - siblings Jayna and Zan from the planet Exxor, sent to Earth for unknown reasons because their dad knew Superman and well, getting rid of their kids to distant planets just seemed like the cool thing to do at the time. Have different morphing abilities and fist bump to get their powers going. They probably added their super phrase after watching TV shows here on Earth. 

Gotham City Sirens - technically it's a Catwoman issue that has the Blackest Night crossover, and it's shown in the collected GCS. Catwoman is haunted by her past and her present, and teams up again with Harley and Ivy, who manage to think of an genius way to halt their foe. 

Earth 42 info  - checks out that they're small and that their Batman and Superman are dead but also they're robots of some sort so not sure how that works with Blackest Night? Also Blackest Night sucked. 

Earth 50 info - Previously the Wildstorm Universe who got galactically steamrolled with the Vertigo Universe and New Earth (original DC world prior that dastardly Flashpoint.... which is probably why Lex murders Flash in Earth 50. I for one, support our Lexxy overlords.) in order to have another universe where the Justice League is a bunch of evil folks lead by a Superman very reminiscent of his appearance in Injustice. Used in an animated show. 

Earth 45 info - Corporate power world with Superdoom, Overcorp and Doomthor. Sounds kind of awesome. Wait, this is the Year of the Villain Lex? Less interested now. Although.... Jokerville sounds neat. Apart from all the bums. 

Earth 33 info - Literally a basic Earth - no superheroes. Although select people may be able to alter the rest of creation because of something to do with comic book imagination and multiverse chronicles or something. Apparently it's our world. Oh no, I've broken the fourth wall! You, stop reading! Now!!