Harley Quinn in Suicide Squad - The Costume

****HARLEY QUINN IN SUICIDE SQUAD - THE COSTUME****

Oh yes, it's another click-bait opinion piece on Harley's revised model in the Suicide Squad!

Wait, if I get money out of it, then that's great but this is just going to be my opinion. 

I've been pretty patient with not blasting this crappy outfit to smithereens verbally, but now, it's time. 

Alright - so why so serious?

This is Harley Quinn. She's a former psychiatrist turned felon when she fell for the Joker. Notice how she's dressed like a harlequin? She's also got a red/black theme with diamonds... does it remind you of a playing card or a Joker's Wild casino?

Now, it's common place these days for Miss. Quinn to have a new costume for every new gig she has. I remember reading an interview with Jim Lee who was talking about how coooool it'd be if she had a new costume in every issue and I was sitting there like... do you even read comics? She already does!

Comparison chart of costume changes. 

Anyway, the reason I brought up the diamond playing card thing is that someone saw this character (or her game counterparts/or her new fifty-poo mutation/or her solo comic shitstorm/or ... whatever) and thought "how can I bring this character into, like, the now?" The answer? A baseball diamond. 

Yeah... a baseball diamond. Of course. Sports jacket, Adidas heels, carrying a bat and always chewing gum? What else is she meant to be? 

Aha! A clever homage to.... wait, a blatant rip off of Blondie, right down to the tattered shirt. Wow, they didn't even try to subtle that out at all.
Which is kinda funny because here we are reading about how they went through so many costume ideas because they wanted to be different and cutting edge... and then they just copy something anyway?

I mean, they just cut and pasted her original comic synopsis because what the hey!

So then of course, because it just couldn't be that bad.... they put a shirt saying "Daddy's Lil' Monster" on a childish character. They gave her gross, tacky tattoos. I mean, she even has Daddy's Lil' Monster tattooed on her chest! Is she running out of ideas there too or making fun of herself?

Then - because she's now so independent.. she's wearing a jacket saying property of Joker, bangles saying "YES" AND "SIR" and a PUDDIN choker.

They say the designs came from drug cartel overlords, who are probably the worst people to take fashion advice from. I mean, gang wars over turf? That's just a cover story. They're really just taking out the frustration they feel over people jockin' their style.

And speaking of! Let's not forget the Zeffiest people we know throwing their beef hat into the ring!

Yeah, Die Antwoord had some unkind things to say when they found out they had been an uncredited inspiration to the movie. Hardcore movie fans are calling bullshit but to be honest, it's kind of hard to dispute it because hey - you can see a style just like their graffiti in the movie. Joker looks a lot like Ninja. There's no getting around that. Especially not when we know the director is a huge fan. Now there's design sketches that show stuff like this...

Top right is Harley Quinn, who looks an awful lot like Yolandi, because let's face it, she has a pretty distinctive hair style. Then there's the whole three watches thing... who needs three watches? I mean, if you buy cheap watches then maybe! Apparently it was a thing before Yolandi too which is just mind blowing because really? Three watches? We're a society that has gone from various stylers of watches to generic phone powered pedometers strapped to our wrists and people are still wearing three watches.

Three watches! Unbelievable!

Still, it could be worse. Worse? Worse, did I say? OH YEAH. 

Do you think this is meant to be Courtney Love, because again, it's so subtle!

Left: Eww, definitely burn after use. Right: New 52 gave her pink eye. 

So yeah, it could have been worse. Just like all those Arkham City "designs". It could have been worse is basically my mantra when I'm trying to lull myself to sleep. In the top photo, Harleen Quinzel looks like a zombie supermodel - really cranky, strung out and hungry.

I like how she seems to have muscles and breasts in these images though considering the actress doesn't have any. 

If your doll is marketed by how she bends over.... you done messed up. 

There's also this, which is kinda like a weird New52 Harley mated with Arkham Knight Harley and had a c-c-c-combo baby. 

The outfit they went in the movie just looks like cheap cosplay. It tries way too hard to be sexy, we've basically got Harley walking around like this 

Don't ask me why I have this gif. 

through ALL THE FILM while the actress - depending on her mood - will say that the outfit was uncomfortable and not her, or say it's what Harley would wear! She doesn't wear it so guys would look at her ass, she wears it because it's sparkly and fun!

Look, Margot - if this was really the case we wouldn't be staring at your non-existent butt all the time hearing characters talk about how hawt Harley is. Face it - you were hired with a guy who had a hard on for you. That's creepy. Don't defend it, that's creepier. 

All the fans be moaning about how the original jester costume wouldn't suit the film's tone blah blah blah waaah it's not sexy enough waaaaah waaaaah waaaah 

Did we ask for the original costume? I love the classic costume, and I think it looked great when it did actually appear in the film. However, I understand it's not the look to go with this film. 

All I wanted though, and would settle for, was a Harley outfit that was practical, the right colours and looked good. 

But no, we got Ayer who tells us that Harley can't wear denim overalls - it's not her or her style! 

Okay - first of all.... WHET? 

Denim overalls? What the crack has this guy been smoking? I was talking more like the Assault on Arkham costume - clearly an homage to the classic but 'edgy' for want of a better word. 

Second of all.... if you're so good at knowing what Harley is all about, how come your characterisation is lame as hell? Your Harley is more annoying than she should be, not funny, over-sexualised and kinda useless. 

Pictured: Ayer

You know who casts people with baseball bats on a team with the ambition to stop the next evil Superman? No-one because they would die in five minutes. They'd be a useless Slipknot cameo in the movie of their lives. If they hired her because of her smarts or because she's the best button pushin' manipulatin' card carryin' psychiatrist in the country then sure, I can see that being useful. 

This Harley is not here for that. She's here so you have the large fan base that already exists, and further fan-wank material for the ones who aren't too familiar with her origins. She's here to pretend to shoot things with things that don't shoot, bend over a lot and cream over her puddin. 

Now this offends me deeply because I'm someone who is very practical. If someone injected a bomb in my neck, told me I was going off on a dangerous mission where I could die and then gave me a crate full of my supplies... I would not dress like this Harley Quinn. I would be more armoured than that Deadshot wannabe. I would wear comfortable shoes because of all the running, jumping and climbing. My joints would be protected. I'd have a belt with emergency supplies, grappling equipment, first aid things... I would be prepared for ANYTHING because I DO NOT KNOW WHAT I'M BEING THROWN INTO AND I WANT TO COME OUT ALIVE. 

This is me on casual Fridays, you can tell because my hair is down. 

 I would also be wearing flexible clothes.. Harley can't even take her personalised jacket with her during her escape because she can't move her arms enough to catch a freakin' rope. Then two seconds later, she falls out of a helicopter and this happens:

1) The Hell. 2) THE HELL. 3) THE FREAKING HELL?!

Sure, she has gymnast powers, but that don't mean her ankles and back shouldn't be broken by now. 

She can't even wear those shoes for this stunt, I don't even know why they have her wear this stupid outfit and those stupid heels. I actually kind of like those shoes! They're inane but kind of cool. But they should not be worn into sorties because hawt female. 

Behind the scenes on Suicide Squad

Not only that but they clearly can't even keep it somewhat logical. Harley's hair changes length/colour/style in one scene with no reasoning (as if she got ready in ten minutes - BAH)

Her trunk had three outfits, and ten cases of make-up and  some hair dressing tools. 

The smudged make up is fine in one scene, messed up further in the next, and completely different in the following scene. Nail polish appears and disappears. 

This looks like the last time I drowned a cat, but not as cute. 

Heck, in one scene they just go even creepier and leave her randomly in the rain just so her shirt could go see-through.

Then they give her an umbrella in her ACTUAL colours because they're messing with our minds.

There was a time when everyone thought the person playing Harley was Britta Perry (played by Gillian Jacobs) from Community. They do look similar, in the darkest timeline Britta even dyes part of her hair blue and both study psychology. Britta even plays an emo clown in one episode. she's also actually funny so it's a shame she didn't play Harley and we got stuck with the eyebrow twerker from hell. 

Pictured: Acting like "Harley"

Pictured: Harley's acting coach

For my final note: my mother actually bought me a Daddy's Lil' Monster T-shirt because she's sweet enough to know I like Harley Quinn but not completely aware that the movie version is a sad mockery of the character. Anyway, the shirt is actually really nice and looks like this.

Yep. No holes, no stained hair dye or whatever on the sleeves. This shirt is nicer than the one in the movie. Pretty sad Harley, you're a walking Hot topic advertisement and you couldn't even get a new shirt from them?