Harley Quinn: Future's End

Release Date: September 24, 2014




Harley and The Joker make it legal at last! Follow the happy couple to their secret honeymoon spot, where it’s literally till death do they part!

Alright! For anyone still struggling to cope with Bane-Harley and her subsequent demise in the Suicide Squad Futures End - fear not! In this comic book, the world is still happy and colourful! Harley Quinn is still alive and her.... normal? self. Well, close enough I guess.

I personally believe that it has the best 3D motion cover out of them all, even though I'm not a fan of Conner's art style. In this case, I feel like they really made the most of the lenticular covers and showed a stark change between fantasy and  reality. Close runners up are Wonder Woman and Batwoman and the Suicide Squad one. The rest are kinda meh. Anyway, even if Harley's cover sucked it's still better than that crappy villain's month turd lenTURDiclar cover!

Now the story itself isn't the best,  and in my opinion it starts REALLY lazily with Harley deciding she needs a vacation so she hurriedly posts herself in a crate to kick start the story.

I kinda get they're going for a slapstick Looney Tunes style gimmick but hey, remember when Harley had standards for herself and her lifestyle instead of just sticking it out in a crate with some cured meats for days on end with a bunch of animals.  Like - I've heard the TSA is pretty bad but surely this is an extreme way to avoid them.

Also, don't people presumably check the cargo hold?

Well, maybe they will once idiot here starts yelling at the top of her lungs to the captain when the plane inevitably hits turbulence a few panels down. She wakes up on a desert island with runny eye shadow, but don't worry because it gets fixed further down the page. Of course. 

Presumably the other animals in the cargo hold didn't make it, but Harley is more concerned with her lost beaver and insulting the one surviving animal, a dog she fed bacon to for some reason. This dog makes the wise choice to save it's career and run out of this comic. Ultimate pupper. 

DCeased #2

2/6
"The Monster Inside of Us All"
Writer: Tom Taylor
Pencils: Trevor Hairsine
Inks: Stefano Gaudiano
Colours: Rain Beredo

The ominous narration continues in this one, but doesn't do a thing to warn poor Aquaman not to open the door on the stricken cargo ship. In his defense, they do seem to be fast zombies. Gosh, I hate fast zombies. It's like... the slow ones are bad enough but at least you don't have to run like, allll the time. What is this, the Apocalypse Olympics? Damn.

Now Metropolis is on fire, and the Supersons and Superman are just chilling at their crib. They decide to head to the Daily Planet. Meanwhile, over in Gotham, Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn are also just chilling but in some dingy alley way. So, clearly journalism pays better than crime. Thanks for the morality lesson DC!

Here, Ivy is abusing the power of the green and hyping Harley up for something, but Harley is trying her best to weasel out of it. They don't exactly say what this task is so maybe the next page is... oh.

Look at that sweeeeet..... gaming set up. 

Oh, is this supposed to be the hideout he used in Death of the Family? Or is it a parody of Batman's computer set up? I don't mind that actually - either one. I DO mind the over the top self aware and stereotypical 'battered/downtrodden woman in a relationship' discussion here. Since when are they officially back together enough to split? And since when has Joker cared what anyone was thinking unless it benefited him? They seem to be making it into a relationship thing..

"Got a new vibe, who dis?"

Dark Nights: Metal: The Resistance TPB 1

June 2018

The alternate, twisted versions of Batman—the Seven Dark Knights of the Dark Multiverse—are hunting the Justice League as the Leaguers attempt to locate artefacts that might protect Earth. One by one, Flash and Steel, Wonder Woman and Doctor Fate, Green Lantern and Mister Terrific, Aquaman and Deathstroke must face the Nightmare Batmen.

Elsewhere, Dick Grayson issues an S.O.S., summoning Robin, Batgirl, Harley Quinn, Killer Croc, Black Canary and Green Arrow to prevent the transformation and terra-forming of Gotham City into a twisted mosaic of monsters, magic and doom. When they are trapped in a Riddler-designed maze, all hope may be lost.

And where is Batman during all this? He’s trapped in his own private nightmare, reliving portions of his life while confronting Barbatos, the leader of the evil Batmen and the demon that has haunted his dreams...

Foreword, the trade tells you to read Dark Nights: Metal #1-2 first, but when have YOU ever followed rules?

So - what's happening here and is it worth all the hype?

Well, it's got a lot of artists so there's Harley parading around in a few different outfits (consistency, thy name is not Harley) some weird spiky fusion version of Batman and Joker, spiky zombie Robins, magic metal cards give to the usual Arkham assortment to create their own realms.. 

Yeah, it's not too different from the average DC event. 

Opening on Barbatos giving Riddler a card to create a doom maze and divvying out more cards to his cohorts Poison Ivy, Mr. Freeze, The Mad Hatter, Bane and... Firefly, maybe? Eh, I dunno. Probably. Anyway they all get cards to make their own realms to ensnare our intrepid heroes. I am personally a big fan of how the evil speech is still inspirational, and how everyone who gets one looks excited (well, Hatter and Freeze definitely, the rest are a bit unclear) about the possibilities, Poison Ivy is doing the teeth test to check hers is real but Bane's still like 'What is this card, puny demon? I do not play. Messing with ME is gambling, you got a problem!'

Damian - headstrong as always has gone on a gargoyle-back ride to Gotham which is... a little different.

You know, I don't really mind Damian. Not a fan of him when he's pushed into every narrative but I like that he's different to the other Robins even if he is a bit of a jerk. He reminds me of Huntress on a revenge trip - not afraid to do what's needed even if it ostracises them from the other good guys. Especially here, as much as he thinks he's better than everyone else and above all the petty emotions they feel, he still rushes into this weird ass place to save his Dad by himself.

American Horror Story: 1984 and Harley Quinn - Criminal Psychologist

I am a long time fan of American Horror Story, but I do admit that some seasons are hit or miss. Plus, they don't really screen it here in Australia unless you have some fancy TV channel subscriptions..

Essentially, loved Murder House - Asylum didn't grab me and the twists at the end were kinda left field... Coven was alright but often felt like the story was built around Stevie Nicks songs and lost momentum/direction after the first few episodes. Freak Show was pretty good overall but did get a bit preachy towards the end, Hotel seemed like the Lady Gaga show and took a long time for me to get interested in it, and I'm not sure I even finished watching it. Because of the aforementioned issue with screenings.. I didn't get to see Roanoke or Cult (although I plan to catch up soon) and basically forgot they came out until a work colleague was talking about the next season. Apocalypse was amazing and I was keen on it all again. So, here we are at Season 9, with 1984.

Thus far, 5 episodes in - I am LOVING IT. It's a real love letter to 1980's slasher flicks, and heaped with nostalgia for the era. The characters are memorable, the soundtrack is amazing and the banter is witty. There are genuine laughs in here. Plus, unlike Stranger Things - there is gore galore.

So, with that said - let's have a look at one particular character that echoes our dear Harley Quinn in so many ways.

Spoiler alert!! Episodes 1-5 only.

Birds of Prey (and the fantabulous emancipation of one Harley Quinn) Trailer #1

Today I watched the Birds of Prey trailer.
Kinda wish I hadn't.
Well... this will be an ultimate breakdown, and believe me, when you screen cap this stuff you realise how much time is spent yet again on Harley as opposed to the rest of the motley crew.
Also how much everyone slags the Birds of Prey TV show when this looks to be in the same vein.




Hardly Quinn walks down a neon street asking someone if they know what a harlequin is.

She goes on to explain in a weird, drunken voice that 'a harlequin's role is to serve, they're nothing without a master.' Actually, harlequins were more like advisers to royalty and were the only ones who could basically tell the king he was a frickin' gobshite without losing their head over it.

Cut to Huntress in a old looking church for like a split second.

Back to Hardly Quinn in a bar after she got drunk and fell into a pile of sequins and diamontes.

She's talking to the race swapped Black Canary... who is apparently a smoker? Um, lady - your lungs? The ones you need to screm? Alright, good luck scremin' loud with laryngitis.

"Gurl, don't even try to talk to me, you a mess."

Hardly tells Canary; 'No one gives two shits who we are beyond that.' Ah, this is some meta reference that no-one cares who the Birds are because Hardly is taking all their screen time.

WB/DC logos in that miserable half pink half blue dye job that would otherwise get you dropped from beauty school.
Hardly cuts her pigtails... slightly? I guess this is character development in her mind.

"Sometimes I cut myself.. but I'm not splitting hairs over it."

'The Joker and I... broke up.' Cut to a terrible drawing of the Joker as seen in his original comic form being stabbed and slashed. Ironic that his image is damaged, yet his tattoo is mysteriously absent. Hmm.

"Screw you for leaving me out of your great movie, Pheonix!"

Hardly throws more knives at it and it turns out she's a pretty bad shot.
Cut to Gotham apparently half on fire and what could be Montoya sashaying towards the flames.

Only a split second mind. Who cares what new catastrophe has befallen Gotham now because HARDLY HAS BOYFRIEND TWUBBLES!
'Need a new start but as it turns out I wasn't the only gal in Gotham looking for emancipation.'

**Black Canary intensifies**

Suicide Squad New52 #22 - Death and Destruction in Sin City!

Sept 2013
Writer: Ales Kot
Artist: Patrick Zircher
Colours: Jason Keith
"Light at the End of the Tunnel"

This is one of the first issues of New52 Suicide Squad that I reviewed back before I had my current format. If you'd like to read my baby blogger prattle, you can click here - otherwise I'll put the highlights in red text if needed.

Alright, so, if you recall last time the Squad had a mini revolution and have now come to work better as a team and there's a lot less yelling 'DAMN YOU WALLER!" and in it's place, more work enjoyments. Like Las Vegas holidays!

I mentioned the cover before so there's not much more to be said apart from - while I do like the aesthetic.... I can't get past Harley's concave and malnourished looking torso. Deadshot should not be front and centre, he looks awful! It's like he took a time out to swear an oath and in the meantime, someone took a shitty sketch of him and photo-shopped it in badly. King Shark - well, I only just now noticed he has human heads in his arms. Sure, in hindsight it's pretty bad that I missed this but I could only see his freaky feet.

Right into it this time, the Squad are in Nevada because of some vague Intel about someone about to use mass hypnosis for some nefarious purpose. I mean, it's always nefarious isn't it? No one ever brainwashes crowds to start doing line dances or the world's best Mexican Wave, do they? When will this discrimination end???

Panning over Vegas there's some tourist information helpfully posted around Jnr being smacked down by Waller. Someones doing some hypnotism and they've gotta be stopped! Again, not uncommon in Vegas. The source is confidential!! Or hasn't been written in or thought about much. Again, not uncommon in Ve-. Suicide Squad. 

Anyway, Waller tells Jnr to shut up again while Deadshot and Harley gamble in disguise. That is to say, Deadshot gambles like an ordinary person while Harley clings to him in over sized gauntlets and aforementioned clown whore. She also spouts things such as 'Like a boss!' and 'tiger blood' which is a reference so dated it took me a moment to place it. When were these comics written?! 

Naturally as only one of them blends in with the ordinary folk and the other looks like the serial murderer as seen over the news a while ago, a security person at the casino asks them to come with him. Have they been cheating? Winning too much? I couldn't say, it's the first freaking panel and they're already being escorted out!

Actually, even though we only have two panels it doesn't really seem like Deadshot is gambling at all. Still, I kinda like the cinematic pan over those two panels. Harley really didn't go into too much effort to change her costume but I do kinda like the head-dress and grape earrings. I'm going to enjoy this possible throw back to her love of grape soda, and ignore the pink fluffy things on her arms that possibly foreshadow her transition to pink and blue nightmare. 

Justice League vs Suicide Squad #2

Cover shows us the new team teased at the end of issue one.
They all seem like lesser known people with Lobo planted right and centre to garner some interest.


Variants aren't that exciting. Oh wait, talk about your versus battles, it's my favourite Harley Quinn solo team versus the my loathed Harley Quinn solo team!
Isn't it funny how both of them do the same thing but one is just instinctively more crap?

Both cover sequences take place in the same empty void apparently. Did the industry run out of background artists?

So, Conner has Enchantress striking a ditzy pose, she's upset and looking like she gotta pee but has to stop Ballerina Superman from bro-fisting her first. Her feet are clearly on the floor but there's no floor there, and it's not exactly Superman's style to freakin' plow drive opponents into the ground unless they're like Doomsday or something. In fact, knowing his weakness to magic, why would he engage in close quarters combat instead of trying to take her out from a distance with like freeze breath or something? Only compliment I can really give this cover is that Enchantress' outfit looks okay.

The Dodson's take has Enchantress at least looking like she's about to strike at Superman, she looks controlled and calm, Superman on the other hand looks cautious, like he's not sure about engaging this magic user. Dodson's do capes so much better... they actually look like real fabric, interacting with the wind in this featureless void..... I like that Enchantress has occult symbols appearing with her magic. Only critique would be that Superman's either really bendy or he's missing a leg.

Right, so the actual comic. Turns out, Waller has a perfect view of the money shot here on this random island. I think there are only like, five characters with their feet on the ground here.
They're all actually fighting and have all paired off.

Also Waller has injured her best pointing finger somehow.

Perspective... that ain't it, Chief.