Suicide Squad New 52 #1

With all the hype about Suicide Squad and the constant reboots it has, what time like the present to look back and see what all the fuss was about with the original run of Suicide Squad in the New52?

Nov 2011

Writer: Adam Glass 

Artist: Federico Dallochio, Ransom Getty and Scott Hanna

Colourist: Val Staples

Letterer: Jared K Fletcher

When this was first released as a promo image, the world was seemingly in an uproar. Why was Harley being so skankified and why was she armed to the teeth?

Now we're not looking to slut shame anyone, but you can't look at this cover and say 'well Harley's on the team because of her smarts and gymnastic abilities' because the focal point is how much skin she's showing compared to her other team mates and her previous bodysuit - which doesn't rule out her smarts but sure as heck isn't a good indicator of them either, especially comic wise!

 For another thing, when's the last time you saw a gymnast, or any athlete, showcase their abilities while in a tight corset designed to fall off their boobs at any given time, and while weighed down with ammunition? The easy answer is you don't, for obvious reasons.

Yep, another inappropriate costume for women, and hell, it's not even in her standard colours and she's the colour of a dead albino toad's belly.
And what is up with her face? Is that eye make-up or a skin condition?
She looks like an unattractive shark!

Catwoman Vol 2 review #89

Always Leave 'Em Laughing! 

Feb 2001

Writer: Bronwyn Carlton

Pencils: Staz Johnson and Craig Rousseau

Inker: Wayne Faucher 

Letters: Albert de Guzman

Harley's been out of sight out of mind from this version of Catwoman... but now what's she up to?

Well she's in a waiting room in civilian clothing, going as Dr. Quinzel. So far seeming normal... keeping up a cheerful banter with one of the workers there. 

She's introduced to a programming director (Diane), a producer (Shelby) and a web stuff person (Scott).

Shelby's impressed with Harleen's funny attitude and asks for Harleen's pitch.

Right! For a television show! Okay, well she starts with Catwoman's simplistic background about being a thief who never gets caught, and then brings herself in as the partner whom Catwoman would be nothing without.

This then runs into a humorous if embellished version of their last few adventures together. Shelby likes the strong female character angle but Diane is concerned by the thief background.

Harleen goes on in more depth about Catwoman's past - including the racial differences in her family, their poverty, her parent's deaths and Catwoman abandoning her sister before ending up in an abusive orphanage.

The team are concerned about the suicide and other dark parts in this history, and continue the in joke about Catwoman's sister.

They are alarmed when Harleen mentions that this is based off real people and quickly change the entire story into something more happy, bland and kid friendly.

Harleen's not sure about this new direction and her loss of control over the meeting.

Retro Review: Harley Quinn #8! If the crime fits...

Be Cruel to your School!

Jul 2001

Writer: Karl Kesel

Guest pencils: Pete Woods

Guest inks: Mark Lipka

Colours: Alex Sinclair

When we last left Harley Quinn she was pondering revenge, after a failed heist and a conveniently broadcast news program showing her old professor profiting off of her thesis. 

Depending on which origin of Harley you prefer to read you may be aware that at least one or two have her seduce the professor in order to achieve her passing grades in college. 

I've always hated that as it would make a lot more sense for her to manipulate him, given her whole thing is pushing buttons and being able to read people like books on psychology. 

That and it's just lazy character writing. 

We need a female character with a history? Better make her a manipulative slut or a prostitute, or someone with a history of domestic violence and/or sexual abuse!

This version cleverly subverts this by having her come on to the professor but not act on it. The transition from present day to Harleen's flashback to four years ago is also done very well. 

Dr. Markus stammers his way through this, clearly unnerved but Harleen's already moving on to her theory about how much love can overlook. For example, a partner could forgive a traffic violation but how about a murder?

They're interrupted by Harleen's boyfriend, Guy Kopski who runs around like a headless hurricane in search of his own paper. He's clearly smitten with Harleen and vice versa. In the words of Guy:

No way, Quinz - you wouldn't let (my head explode)! You're the control rod to my nuclear meltdown! The chemical release valve in our very own Love Canal! 

Gotham City Sirens #2

Sept 2009

Writer: Paul Dini

Artist: Guillem March

Colours: Jose Villarrubia

Letters: Steve Wands

After reading waaay too much Hardly Quinn lately and feeling sad about the much hyped Paul Dini co-written Harley Loves Joker mini.. I decided the best way to refresh was to come back and do a Sirens review. 

Last time we left off with Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy both moving in with Catwoman and then interrogating her about Batman's identity. Classic Gotham behaviour. Catwoman says screw you guys and mentally goes back three years to an encounter with Talia in Tibet. Which, while sounding like a Tintin reference, is a great way to show how awesome Catwoman is.

She just took out like a dozen assassin guards and almost snuck up on Talia. (Pro-tip, one does not simply sneak up on Talia) Heck, she came all the way to Tibet despite knowing who invited her.
Talia also has back up guards... hey, I told you about sneaking up on her.



Why has Talia asked Catwoman to fly all this way for a creepy yoga influenced sleepover in this cold ass location surrounded by cuddly assassin guards?
Why, to help safe guard Batman's secret, so as to prevent Gotham assholes from discovering his identity through them.

That's right Harley and Ivy! You've gotta get up a lot earlier than this to get Catwoman.
Exactly three years earlier to be precise.

REBIRTH HARLEY QUINN #20 - Blast from the Future: Right back at ya!

Keeping up with the variant schtick again trying to get people to buy two issues...
Here we have generic Hardly Quinn reminiscing about how she used to be awesome and classic-esque Harley Quinn swinging around with a puppy, because apparently she forgot she had hyenas or something. Whatever.

We open up on a generic dingy motel that isn't drawn very well... it looks like the cheap wooden cabins we stayed in at school camp as opposed to a dingy motel you could be proud to carry out some illegal activities in.

I think it's raining, but  it could be archery/spear practise. More information on that later.

Harley Sinn is already a better thug than Hardly is, feeding her captives, speaking English, having a chat, and heck, she's already made me laugh when she reason's out why she can't shoot them both in the face.

Both Mason and Macabre, when un-gagged, choose to grill Sin about Quinn instead of asking 'where are we going? who are you? Why have you kidnapped us? Are we going to die? What is this generic takeaway food?'

Yeah, what's your beef with Quinn, Sin? How could anyone EVER hate Hardly? I'd say good question but every issue she's in just seems to cement the fact that she's an annoying overbearing murderer with bad colour co-ordination soo.....?

REBIRTH HARLEY QUINN #20 - Blast from the Future

Usual cover not too bad actually, despite pimping out various incarnations of Harley Quinn to attract fans from all areas while the variant.. I don't know.. that face.. she looks politely puzzled as if she's saying "Why do I have all these cats? Why am I here? Where's my makeup? Why am I sitting calmly in this no-where place?"
Sadly, no one knows. Just like this comic, that cover will be swallowed in a sink hole of unanswered questions and misguided attempts at humour.

Speaking of misguided - we open on anorexia poster child Hardly pretending to shed a tear for all the homeless folks.

This, I don't buy. For one thing, she's never really be shown to give a shit about anyone but herself and secondly, is she stupid? Some of these homeless people are probably so far under the radar that they wouldn't be able to be identified easily even if they weren't all mushed together with everyone else's skeletons. Also, what day is this? What sort of friggin' turn around on DNA tests was she expecting? Wasn't she supposed to be smart? 

Also also, what sort of jerk wears cleavage baring tops and low slung pants to a gosh darned memorial? I suppose we should be grateful that she's occasionally allowed to wear pants, even if she does look like a starved killer whale. 

REBIRTH HARLEY QUINN #19 - Red Meat - Sucking the Marrow out of the Party

Alright, props for the variant cover for at least giving me a laugh. That actual cover seems like it should have been used as a cover for the start of the whole Red Meat saga of doom instead of where it is.

Anyway, here we have Hardly waking up in a pile of bones and talking about Holeee Something or oleees TM. 




She imagines a skull that could be Skipper but probably isn't has a fuller and more interesting life than she does while she callously breaks it's teeth to help herself out.

Then, not only does she pick a lock in two seconds, but she finds hair ties and a cache of weapons, because of course.

Of course she does.

Red Tool does his best/worst Deadpool impersonation and manages to screw himself up, and kill some random dude on the way down, but it's okay because he was misogynistic for the two seconds we saw of him and the woman saved from him thinks it's cool and not a matter of 'how am I going to explain this to the boss and the cops while not looking like a main suspect?'




The hobo stealers have been told to leave town but they're all like, no way man, you're not my supervisor! Not sure why there has been a big deal made over this because it's in their best interest and seems like the plot could have used some incentive like, oh, a time frame or something to make it a bit more compelling.

Hardly busts out and she's ready to wail on everyone, because that's what she does now in her Social Justice Warrior persona.

REBIRTH HARLEY QUINN #18 - Red Meat Abduction Reduction

It's a strange state of affairs when I find myself more preferential to the Rebirth Hardly Cover instead of the variant showing Classic Harley gazing adoringly at a Suicide Squad Hardly outfit.
Pee-yeew that's so on the nose,  it honestly stinks.

Anyway, in the last shitty instalment of this comic, Hardly was abducted after posing as a wannabe homeless person and now people are trying to eat her.

I for one, welcome our new cannibalising overlords.

But first, here's some random crap thrown in as part of the plot. It's Gotham in 2167!

Good lord, who would want to see the cesspit of Gotham now let alone the future? Anyway, some random girl named Catie... ugh. I see the future didn't fix any spelling issues with kids names.

Anyway, she's being sent on some time jump mission to take down Hardly Quinn in present day. But she's not in Gotham? Oh well.

I for one, welcome our new Terminator overlords.

They clearly have their priorities straight and the art in these few pages is already better than the current comic by a mile. Did they add this in to kick themselves when they were down?

I for one, support this.

Batgirl Adventures #1

Today we're looking back at Batgirl Adventures #1!

This one debuted way back when in Feb 1998 and is credited to Paul Dini and Rick Burchett with colours by Rick Taylor.

Right away the cover grabs your attention, it's the classic Batman Animated series red sky and stylised city scape.
Batgirl is her usual exuberant self, leaping into action with the shadowy figures of Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy looking on.

The only thing that detracts from this awesome cover is Batgirl's ridiculously small feet. I mean, really, what is this foot binding Barbie crap?

Oh right, it's just some Bruce Timm artwork. Say no more.












We open on civilian Barbara Gordon walking along after buying her Christmas goodies and nearly getting mowed down by a literal clown car. If America is anything like Australia, then yes the pedestrian has right of way,  but in the clown car's defence Barbara wasn't even looking at the road and did not check both ways. Barbara encourages inappropriate vigilantism and road rage by going to beat up the clown car driver, and is for some reason, surprised to see a a cannon emerge from the car.

Babs, you live in Gotham, why does literally ANYTHING surprise you anymore? I mean, a clown car in Gotham never just means the circus is in town (although to be fair the circus never seems to leave town either) it means that it's either the Joker or some other super villain up to no good. 

That, or the registration standards for vehicles in this town is beyond a joke. 

Further Ugly Harley Quinn Merchandise!

Knock knock!

Who is it?

More Ugly Harley Quinn merchandise?! No, lock the door! Keep it away! Call the exorcist!

 First up - these sun-staches.

They look interesting but they also look heavy and seem like they might impede your vision somewhat.

 Questioning your worth as an independent woman?

Don't worry, this jacket has you covered! Unless, you know, you have to take it off because you can't move your arms in it.

Or it starts raining and you have to remove it so your shirt gets wet.

Great for people who like to sing along to dodgy remakes of "you don't own me" while protesting how free they are and are also hypocrites.