REBIRTH HARLEY QUINN #20 - Blast from the Future

Usual cover not too bad actually, despite pimping out various incarnations of Harley Quinn to attract fans from all areas while the variant.. I don't know.. that face.. she looks politely puzzled as if she's saying "Why do I have all these cats? Why am I here? Where's my makeup? Why am I sitting calmly in this no-where place?"
Sadly, no one knows. Just like this comic, that cover will be swallowed in a sink hole of unanswered questions and misguided attempts at humour.

Speaking of misguided - we open on anorexia poster child Hardly pretending to shed a tear for all the homeless folks.

This, I don't buy. For one thing, she's never really be shown to give a shit about anyone but herself and secondly, is she stupid? Some of these homeless people are probably so far under the radar that they wouldn't be able to be identified easily even if they weren't all mushed together with everyone else's skeletons. Also, what day is this? What sort of friggin' turn around on DNA tests was she expecting? Wasn't she supposed to be smart? 

Also also, what sort of jerk wears cleavage baring tops and low slung pants to a gosh darned memorial? I suppose we should be grateful that she's occasionally allowed to wear pants, even if she does look like a starved killer whale. 

Hardly and Spoonface or whoever he is walk off and stroke Hardly's ego about doing a great job of killing literally everyone, enough that she proudly declares that rules are for suckers.
Yeah, I hate when rules stop me from murdering everyone I see and giving people a chance at a trial.
Totes ridiccs.

In a horrifying twist, Hardly actually considers running for Mayor. What, do you hate where you live so much you want to bring on the apocalypse so soon?

Hardly nurses Red Tool back to health by dressing up as her Arkham City persona.. which is weird because if she had one ounce of the personality THAT Harley had, I wouldn't have such an issue with this comic issue.
She tells him to scarper because she's gotta go to work, her parents are coming and the house is a mess, she's gotta prepare for the prom, the bomb's about to explode and THE BABY'S COMING!

She gets a Facetime call in the middle of this drama and decides to have some fun, trying to pretend she's the FBI..

Because that'll work. You can totally Facetime the FBI because when you look into the face of a grossly mismatched two toned face of the starved killer whale of death you think about the FBI.

Bart Simpson is sorely missed right now.

Anyway, it's whas 'er face, Harley Sinn, because of course. She's a thing, right? Some sort of 'evil' Harley clone. And we are meant to hate her, when she's a lot more reasonable and less murderous than the real Hardly Quinn?

Shit, she's even better at doing her friggin' make-up and can talk like a normal person.




Oh no, she's kidnapped Mason and Macabre.. who despite apparently being in a witness protection program did nothing to change their image or even their clothes because they're stupid AND gross.
I'd be worried, but I'm more concerned to see Sinn Facetiming and driving.
Just don't. Unless you're parked, but it's kind of hard to tell because apparently they're in a car on the sun or in hell or somewhere with no skyline apart from just orange gradient?


Hardly kicks Red Tool out of the sick room because she just hasn't got the time for his neediness and distractions right now. I see she's been taking correspondence from the Joker school of romance. How nice. Also, nice phone case you self absorbed wanker.

Interruption by random future story boom tube girl in batsuit.

Alfred is gonna be pissed about these strays getting in.

Funnily, the Batcave looks pretty good in the first panel but then just dissolves into some random green tinted mess.

Anyway, the comic severely underestimated Batman's skill at setting up traps for people like this, but points out that Batman has no defense for people trying to feel up the nads on his costume.

Hardly has a weird mugshot photo and changes into her roller derby threads to clean up because of course. Of course she does.
It just reminds me of a kid wearing their soccer or football uniform out of school or game time or even after they've graduated.

It reeks of trying too hard to recapture glory days and feels so sad.

Tony - my favourite character in this series - is again the voice of reason, pointing out that Hardly's house stinks, and is bad freaky enough without her continuing to catapult her various animal poops across town.

Remember kids, rules about sanitation are for suckers! Throw poop! It's hilarious!

He rightly gets angry when Hardly fails to tell him about Mason's Macabre (geddit? Look, I'm funnier than Hardly already!) adventures and being more focused on cleaning up for her parents.

Thankfully, we're spared her painful thrashing around for praise because the door's blown up.



Yay.. Batgirl person is here.

Hardly puts some weight/muscle on because there's a back up artist - one can only assume the other one gave up on this stupid concept a while ago. Futurebatperson tries to kill Hardly and gives some inspirational speeches about how this murdering asshole is going down.

Ooh dear, looks like being called pathetic has really hit a nerve with Hardly who somehow knocks out the Futurebatperson because they forgot to turn their green arm off. Hardly, puts her in the catapult to get murdered across town because no one gets to call Hardly a murderer.

Yes... that will.... show her who isn't.. a murderer..
 Aw come on, really? REALLY?!?!



To be continued, I guess? Come back to us soon, Futurebatpersonlady, I am rooting for you!

Harley Loves Joker Pt four

 Opening on a rushed escape from cops that probably would have made for  a better story than what we're getting, because a good chunk of this issue is devoted to a story about Joker's real name, which is actually just from a wallet stolen from some guy we haven't seen in the comic at all.

Joker thinks parking the Jokermobile outside a ratty hotel is a brills idea, just like Harley thinks walking around barefoot in the snow is.

The motel owner is sick of life, and barely questions two ghostly white figures in villain costumes who are allowed to bring hyenas into the room. Hyenas that were not with them when they entered.

The rest of it is Joker getting romantic which let's face it, no one wants to see. Even Harley falls asleep during his uncharacteristic declaration of love.

Which is a shame because she'll miss those sweet little words...

TO BE CONTINUED!!!

They actually used the full sentence!! Holy crap!

Also, it's weird that Joker's eyes and teeth are yellowish to offset his pale face but Harley's are pure white. Despite how she looks in the new comic, they really can't stand to make her 'ugly' can they?









All in all, getting better in some ways but still not enough to make me actually buy this comic again.

Hardly in the main comic is as annoying and self absorbed as ever, and Harley in the second part is kinda whingey. It's so bad to read, watching this try hard prance around ruining everything and people are praising her for it. It's also really bland to see scourge of hell, clown of doom Joker act like a bad romance novel.

Seems like they're trying to cash in on the Mad Love hype but just didn't understand the point of their relationship at all. One comic has Hardly being the abusive uncaring lover to Red Tool with several others on the side, and the other has Harley just there to swan around asking for rumpy pumpy while Joker moons over her. One has a friggin' weird future storyline crammed in with no resolution because the main character doesn't learn anything and the other has criminal adventures that we hear about after the fact and only briefly. It just doesn't seem to feel comfortable doing either properly and thus flops at both.