Be Cruel to your School!
Jul 2001
Writer: Karl Kesel
Guest pencils: Pete Woods
Guest inks: Mark Lipka
Colours: Alex Sinclair
When we last left Harley Quinn she was pondering revenge, after a failed heist and a conveniently broadcast news program showing her old professor profiting off of her thesis.
Depending on which origin of Harley you prefer to read you may be aware that at least one or two have her seduce the professor in order to achieve her passing grades in college.
I've always hated that as it would make a lot more sense for her to manipulate him, given her whole thing is pushing buttons and being able to read people like books on psychology.
That and it's just lazy character writing.
We need a female character with a history? Better make her a manipulative slut or a prostitute, or someone with a history of domestic violence and/or sexual abuse!
This version cleverly subverts this by having her come on to the professor but not act on it. The transition from present day to Harleen's flashback to four years ago is also done very well.
Dr. Markus stammers his way through this, clearly unnerved but Harleen's already moving on to her theory about how much love can overlook. For example, a partner could forgive a traffic violation but how about a murder?
They're interrupted by Harleen's boyfriend, Guy Kopski who runs around like a headless hurricane in search of his own paper. He's clearly smitten with Harleen and vice versa. In the words of Guy:
No way, Quinz - you wouldn't let (my head explode)! You're the control rod to my nuclear meltdown! The chemical release valve in our very own Love Canal!
I didn't initially get the Love Canal reference (not being around when it happened and not being American, it's not exactly taught around here) but after finding out what it was I remember thinking who on Earth would say that to their partner? That's horrible!
In present day, Bo and Chispazo have trailed Harley to the equipment room as part of their trap but Harley quickly turns the tables on them and goes off the meet up with Markus, following the conclusion of his fake speech.
Last issue, we saw that Nixon was getting a bit frustrated with the lack of successful heists and puts it to Buster that they branch out when they're approached by a a well mustachioed man in the Stacked Deck bar wanting to know if the price on Harley's head is a rumour or if it's true.
They take him out discreetly (well, for them anyway) and hatch bigger schemes to take out Harley via means of this bounty, and also Lewis and Nixon's own brother.
That's MUCH better - classic Harley interrogation aided by a yo-yo and bad puns instead of a bloody baseball bad and bad English.
Back in the past, Harleen is putting her theory to the test.
When Guy arrives back at the apartment he finds her sitting on the couch, enshrouded in shadows, telling him about her running a red light. He's not bothered about it until she mentioned that she did it because she was in a stolen car being chased by the cops.
She goes on to tell him that she tried to blackmail Markus but was foiled and it appears that she's killed him. She looks up after hearing no response to the 'do you still love me' question to find that Guy has fled the room.
And.. he has the gun.
In present day, Harleen is putting Markus through his paces in the gym while she reiterates the story.
Harleen has chased Guy down into the same gym, finding him traumatised after shooting someone he thought was Markus in order to save Harleen's future.. but was actually a homeless man.
Harleen proves her own thesis and despite offering to dispose of the body and save Guy herself.. he can't go on and asks her to help him pull the trigger as he's not confident he can do it again.
She tearfully begs him not to, telling him she loves him but he asks her to do it because she loves him.
We hear the gun shot.
It's unclear if she did help him pull the trigger or if he did it himself.
Present day Markus asks her if she did but Harleen ignores him and carries on with her story.
Past Markus finds Harleen in her apartment - traumatised yet extremely focused.
She's realised that Guy's fixation on the Joker has some merit - everything turns to chaos and it's better to be the start of the chain reaction than the victim of the result.
She decides that she just HAS to meet the Joker and, showing Markus the tape recorder of her earlier 'come on' ... proves that she will do anything to get there.
I like how the image of Joker on the television changes so dramatically.
He's shown in three panels to be the Joker we're more familiar with in the Batman comics, but the last panel he appears in shows him as more his BTAS self.
This might seem like a goof at first, but I think it says a lot about Harley's mental state at this time.
If you recall from other issues, when Harley Quinn starts seeing things in her more 'crazy' perspective... everything looks like the cartoon series.
Example, we see real life Margo's lifeless body after Harley shot her, but Harley sees Margo with a mere flesh would in her animated form.
He threatens Harley with the remainder of the venom - sneakily held in the pen he's carried around since he was accosted by Bo, Surley and Chispazo.
He tries to take out the remains of his covert experiment, but fails.
Chispazo comments on Harley playing match maker with her and Bo as Surley releases them from the trap, noting that she's a hopeless romantic and won't be able to stay away from them.
Meanwhile, Harley is all dolled up to blow it all away with some retail therapy.
Snarky Nixon tries to rain on her parade but she shuts him down.
In retaliation or perhaps seeing the opportunity, he makes a sneaky phone call to let the gunslingers know that his boss is headed out and is unprepared for any attacks.
Kenny tries to diffuse the situation but is unsuccessful.
Bud and Lou get to go for walkies and don't seem deterred by the fact their owner seems to be wearing a faux hyena print jacket.
I'm not sure how accepted Guy Kopski was into DC lore but I think he adds to the story nicely. He helps show how devoted, and how ruthless Harleen can be in her relationships. Also, that Joker was not the first messed up relationship she's been in.
We see her opinion on the Joker change - Guy was obsessed with him but Harleen was on her own track psychology wise until the tragedy caused her to see the 'humour' in the situation. I think it's important to note that even in her new shitty comic, the writers introduced a previous boyfriend character called Bernie who although being much younger, has no issue throwing another girl in front of a truck for Harleen.
Which I think raises just a few more questions than this version and even though we don't see much of Guy, he's got ten times the development and motivation than Bernie the Beaver Boyfriend.
Also, this thirteen year old kid driving a car AND physically throwing a girl of the same age out of the driver's window and into a truck? Whatever.
I really like how Harleen's not your usual villain - this whole escapade is personal and not for any real gain of her own except maybe a bit of closure. She monologues but in a fun way, never really being openly villainous and she doesn't even kill Markus herself. I expect she intended to but she's happy to let things take their chaotic course.
She still has gang issues on the back burner but it was nice to see a previous version of Harleen obsessed with her studies, even if she's not doing too well. And also not wearing glasses - I always hated when they made her wear glasses in her 'professional' capacity and her hair up.
Such a bad stereotype.
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Play nice or play dead! Harley Quinn's rules!