Heroes in Crisis #1

There's been a lot of controversy over this particular comic so let's have a look at the first issue and see what the deal is, shall we?

Now this is only a nine part series so expect a lot of variant covers. This one issue has five, alone.

Some I get... some make sense with the comic and some are just... why is this here?

Anyway, the premise is about a Superhero Therapy Centre and the What Could Possibly Go Wrongs?


Harley Quinn and Booster Gold are the main features here, so hopefully they'll be written good because when done right, these two are good characters. Sadly, it does seem like Harley is just shoved in anywhere because she's making mad money for DC.

What the hell is this supposed to be?

DC Universe Harley Quinn #50

This cover, I don't mind too much even though the effect is probably a bit overdone to death. I don't know why Conner can't draw Classic Harley right - her headpiece looks weird and giving her the new Harley bruise coloured eye shadow is just... why? It doesn't look good on ANYONE.

At least they recognise that she used to have hyenas and it was awesome. Even if they do look more like dogs here. Anyway, New Harley is reading a comic and the cover has Classic Harley, and Classic Harley's cover has Bombshell Harley, and Bombshell Harley's cover goes back to New Harley because they somehow ran out of versions of Harley Quinn somehow?

Eh I dunno. The Cho cover is okay, but Harley's eyes are pointed in different directions and I don't get the ducks. It would have been funnier if Harley had been stuck holding the bomb but was waiting at a duck crossing for them to pass. I think she's just meant to be turning around instead of... going behind them, in front of them or over them? Weird.



This extra sized anniversary issue is written by Sam Humphries but begins like so many Conner/Palmiotti issues before it - a one page spread of Harley looking super elongated and about ten million speech bubbles. Talk about your TL;DR! If you are tempted to check out what they're saying, it's nothing interesting unless you like a mother and daughter talking about contracting Glandular Fever back in high school and said daughter apparently dating the whole school then complaining about double standards.

They walk through a crowd of people with the same face and Harley stuffs hers with like a million hot dogs. Harley also can't wear anything else apart from her battle hot pants even when hanging out with her mom. Mom also has no personality apart from 'my daughter's so AWESOME' so she could literally be swapped with any one of Harley's other hanger on's and no one would know.

Oh yeah, plot wise, Harley reads a comic about her and destroys continuity in DC. 

Joker/Mask #2

June 2000 2/4
Story: Henry Gilroy & Ronnie Del Carmen
Writer: Henry Gilroy
Pencils: Ramon F. Bachs
Cover: Ramon F. Bachs

Back to Bighead.. or The Mask's joint rampage through Gotham with Joker.

The cover certainly gets the theme of the issue across even if I don't get - and probably never will - the logistics of those physiques. Plus.. Bighead's teeth just..

The only teeth to parody other giant, unnatural teeth. 

Last time we saw Joker/Mask and Harley, they were on the lam after 'killing' Batman, but here it picks up three days later where it's apparent that no one realises that Joker is involved.. everyone just thinks it's Edge City villain Bighead with some vague Joker connection. True to her roots, Harley gets miffed at her Puddin's snub but then forgets about it on account of putting one too many fingers in the candy jar.

We've all been there, skintight bodysuit and all. 

Meanwhile, GCPD (looking a little worse for wear) is discussing the matter and introducing Lieutenant Kellaway who is here to help with the situation. Kellaway realises that Joker has the Mask while the GCPD are only just beginning to suspect Joker having a more solid hand in the the game.

Batman... or a sneaky imposter - appears and wreaks havoc.

Top 10 Worst Things that Happened to Harley Quinn

Today I gave in to the click bait and watched this WatchMojo.com video titled "Top 10 Worst Things that Happened to Harley Quinn" so I thought I'd go through it here to see what it was all about, what I agree with, what I don't and what I thought overall.

After all, there are so many different versions of Harley Quinn and they've each had different experiences.. Is it going to be fair? Is it going to be mostly classic Harley, or newer Harley? Are video game versions excluded? What about TV and movies?

Let's dig in.

Gotham City Sirens #8

March 2010
Plot/art: Guillem March
Dialogue: Marc Andreyko
Colours: Tomeu Morey

What better time to get back into Gotham City Sirens - and an Ivy-centric issue to boot - after reading about the lobotomised, bland, green place holder in the last review and the recent dramas I had in the comic store.
Givin' me the heebie jeebies just thinkin' about it. Even more so than opening up to the severely emaciated and shrivelled up form of Poison Ivy.

Jump cut to two weeks prior, showing Pam as beautiful as she is vengeful and deadly. Scorning the humans for doing things in her park. No, not THOSE things.. (that we know of, anyway) but rather children pulling up daisies, dudes thinking about their chances with her, people daring to exercise or sit on a bench.

Just imagine this face looking at you... it'll shave seconds off your run time!

Now as much as this is about Ivy's time in the spotlight, the issue shows us what's really happening within the team as a whole.

This scene for example. One look and you might think, oh that Harley, buying random shit in her name and having it delivered to their hideout?? What a card!

What we're really seeing is Selina not only ticked off at the breach of security.. but Harley's lounging on the couch watching TV, Ivy is nowhere to be seen until the last panel and Selina is picking up the slack in the kitchen. This hideout is a tinder box and it's about to explode.

The spark comes from Ivy strolling in from her saunter about Robinson Park at the same time a plant related murder that happened there is being reported on the news. 

Woe at the Comic Store

So today I went into a comic store with my husband and it was very surreal.

For one thing, he bought several comics... I only got two. Usually I have the most, and he gets one or two. So what happened? Well.....Nothing else appealed to me in that store. What the hell, right?

I did see a couple of annoying things though.

A while ago, Gotham City Sirens was re-released with new covers. That's fine, a lot of series do that. However, I saw an omnibus today and this is what it looked like.

Harley Quinn and the Gotham City Sirens. 

Yeah, I shit you not. If that's not the most blatant cash grab combined with complete lack of understanding of the comic... I don't know what is.

I mean, she's on all of the covers anyway... was it not clear who this trio was comprised of??

How gracious of Harley Quinn - the clear leader of this trio - to allow some 'minor villains of lesser fame' to join her on her adventures! Or rather, use her name to boost sales. Bloody hell, is this how sad we're getting, DC? Just slap Harley's name on anything and it's good to go, right? Especially with Maggot Robbie running around trying to ruin that series AND Birds of Prey at the same time!

I thought Gotham City Sirens did a great job of making sure each character had enough screen time and had everybody play to their strengths and even their character flaws. Hell, Selina being the 'main' ish character and the one who brought them all together.. you'd think she'd be the one in focus but no, everything was equal.

Well, that's what I thought anyway, but apparently I just read another 'Harley Quinn and her bitches' book entirely wrong.

Injustice 2 - issues 60-71

Alright, I'll level with you. As exhausting and confusing as recapping Countdown was in a massive long shite-post... it was fairly effective. I've been wanting to get back into reviewing Injustice 2 for a while now, but I've been grappling with time issues, mental problems and the fact that I have no idea what I was up to issue wise that I literally didn't know where to start again.
So, I figured, I'll do something similar - run through the last eleven issues of Injustice 2, so I can start reviewing them in single posts closer to when they come out because I'll be fairly caught up by then.

Attack on Oa
Writer: Tom Taylor
Artist: Xermanico
Colours: J. Nanjan

Wow, all those starfish. All that rage. All that red and skintight clothes... reminds me of my last beach holiday. Siiiiigh.


Now here's the Titans and Booster Gold, stealing the Justice League's state of the art spaceship in their skintight clothes. Reminds me of my last space holiday. Siiiiigh.

Anyway, here's Starfire, Wonder Girl, Kon-El (as Superboy) with Booster Gold and his Skeets robot stealing the ride that Batman had. They haven't been able turn off the alarm, but Superboy notices another alarm. Booster said it's the proximity alert, but I think they should change the name to "Th' Main Man" alert.

For obvious reasons. 

Remember back in this review? Harley Quinn convinced Lobo that he was wasting his time with her, enough so that Lobo then went to find someone worth his time - in this case, using Darkseid to put out his cigar - but before that, he had some beef with Superman. So that little throwback was cool.
Basically the Titans are chasing Blue Beetle who was kidnapped by Lobo, and Lobo's been hired by some dude in a crazy big chair to get Blue Beetle to save the world.

Lobo shoots a Kryptonite bullet at Superboy but Wonder Girl epically deflects it.

I mean, look at this!

I don't normally like the silver for the Wonder Women costumes but I don't mind it here.

Turns out chair guy is Metron - a New God that spends his existence messing with Skeets' logic programming. Starfire yells out the window 'Hey if you're so powerful, can you turn the spaceship alarm off??' and it works in both turning off the alarm and being a great icebreaker.

In the end they hitch a lift with Chair and Bike, off to stop the angry, angry space starfish from making all the green and blue weirdos angry as well

Digging Cassie's Artemis vibe here

They all wear space masks and I was like... guys... 99% sure you can all breathe in space.. then I was like, wait, face hugging anger stars! But then why does Superboy only have a half mask?
Why would they even have half face space masks? I mean... what?

Oh, hang on, I just read some comments. Apparently it's so they can all communicate through the whole no sound in space thing. THAT makes more sense.

Harley Quinn and Gossamer - The Looney Tunes special

I didn't even know this guy had a name. He's kinda like Sweetums, from the Muppets. You know who it is but they're not a main character.

Wait - why is this a thing? They just did the Hanna Barbera cross overs, plus Archie... What's the next cash grab tie in gonna be?

Anyway, the main cover for this cross over no one probably needed is it's usual Conner schlock (her arms are about as long as her legs and her eyes look frickin' weird) but the variant by Quinones?

I've told you guys I love the Quinones Quinn? He's even got her in the costume she wore in the 25th Anniversary special!

Both in scenes from the actual comic but the variant looks a lot more natural and fun.

Harley Quinn/Gossamer - a Hairy Predicament!
Aug 2018

Synopsis:

A violent storm leaves a large crate washed up on the beach at Coney Island. When Harley breaks it open to see what’s inside, she suddenly has a new playmate to add to her cast of friends-a large, furry, orange beast called Gossamer. It’s all fun and games until a giant robot attacks them. But who sent it? Harley immediately suspects only one man, but is it really The Joker behind this destructive rampage?


Now this special is still written by Amanda Conner and Jimmy Palmiotti because apparently when you leave a project you can't actually leave it. I wish they would. Every issue they write is pretty much a personal affront to me. Although if they hate me as much as I hate their bland world and shitty characters.. well it explains a lot. What a vicious cycle.

Some things I noticed about this issue.. it's not as outright shit as much of this duo's crap normally is. I suspect DC felt the heavy hand of Warner Brothers/Looney Tunes here. That said, it's still pretty weird. For one thing, the opening shot is Harley sitting on a Joker head inflatable. The second thing is Coney Island's beach actually has clear waters. I've never been there, but I've heard enough jabs about it to know it's not exactly paradise.

Then....

Yeah... see, this is why I'm not a fan of the whole ship with Poison Ivy. I won't go into a rant about how she's about as good as the Joker is when looking for a spouse but even this lobotomised version of Poison Ivy is just.. ugh.

Okay. If I wanted to read a comic about relationships I'd go and find a romcom or a good manga.
Strangers in Paradise, Ranma 1/2, Fruits Basket, Rachel Rising.... I could go on.
I don't crack open a supervillain comic to read about some asshole sighing wistfully, catching ordinary civilian trains, making phone calls and making sure their apartment is okay.