DC Universe Harley Quinn #52

Wow, these things are coming out more regular than the average bowel movement. This was definitely an issue for me (ha, comic pun) under the previous management, this time around, it's not as poisonous but it's still.. does this comic need to come out this often? Is there something pressing that has to be said? Probably not, but there is money to be made I guess so this cash cow can't be confined to monthlies like the other slobs..

Anyway, again two covers. The first one - I love/hate it? Like, it's a cool image, I like the jacket, the style is nice..the hair looks good - different even...but then again it doesn't offer anything that we haven't seen before with the gum, the mallet, the blood splashes and facial tattoos (why?????). Happening more often now.. Harley is wearing Joker paraphernalia and sweet mother of mercy the OCD in me CANNOT handle that flipped jacket flap. 

The variant cover is it's usual visual treat.. but I'm getting a bit sick of the nostalgia shoved in my face.. taunting me with a better costume but mixed in with new crap like the fairy floss hair and showing us Bud and Lou -  that I will never forgive DC for killing off. Ever. Screw you, DC.
Also, damn Batman! Was that a headshot???



Issue starts off with a nice toned down flashback to 1943 - it kinda reminds me of the style they used in the Bombshell/Little Black Book issue but with much better art. Then it kills off Michael, who we learn is Lance's twin brother. Then  three witches... um, called The Three Witches (don't strain yourselves creatively or nothin') turn up and use Lance's suspicions of foul play to turn him into Captain Triumph - an avenging hero with his brother's soul bonded to him.



The flashback turns from generic comic book narration to comic character narration with Harley then managing to break the fourth wall, rip off Lobo, pass blame off to other people and insult Captain Triumph's backstory and him personally all in the time it takes her to get thrown out the window.

So yeah, Triumph is pretty ticked off. You would be too. Harley just cares about her pickle milkshake (WTF America??) and insulting him some more. 

Things get weird, and not good weird. I think I mentioned in the last Harley and Ivy meet Betty and Veronica review that it was getting annoying how they keep showing Harley as a glutton - constantly stuffing her face but wearing less and less clothing to show off how skinny she is? 

Well, she does this weird ass speech to Triumph - partly boosting her own ego saying that he can't get enough of her instead of actually being a human being and realising why Triumph is so upset.. but then ranting on about how she eats 12 pizzas before the first commercial break like it's a good thing. The previous management turned me off their run for several reasons but one of them was the constant updates on Harley's bodily functions. Sometimes comics just don't need to be that realistic and once you're past the age of 12-15.. farts and poop jokes just aren't the height of comedy anymore. When done right, yeah they can be hilarious but often they're just lazy.

Especially after 12 pizzas.. which I assume is American size pizzas? For those of you who don't know, one American slice can normally fit 2-3 Australian slices in it.
So, if I feel a bit sordid after eating 5 of our slices.. yeah, I don't want to know why someone would willingly do that to themselves.. Also, is Friends still airing in America? Wow. 

Also, if she's spending all that money on that many pizzas for herself.. well shit, no wonder her apartment block was getting repossessed and not being maintained. 

Speaking of poor maintenance, Harley makes another weird speech about how she's a first class human being these days while dropping construction equipment on Triumph and Catwoman kicking him? What does that even mean? Did Catwoman steal the monopoly on kicking people? Geez, someone better tell Batman. That's half of his repertoire. 

Triumph again tells Harley why he's upset with her but the only emotion she shows is fear.. for herself of course. 

Luckily for her stupid ass, Triumph realises he doesn't want to be a murderer and drops Harley on the right side of the building before fleeing. 

 Harley stumbles home (walk of shame? Walk of defeat?) and runs into Jonni DC. She tells her she doesn't want to talk to her.. but.. it's again Harley's fault she's had to get involved. Then she gets an after school special on why we don't just chase our problems away so they 'aren't our problems'.

I don't really know why Harley walked all that way back instead of getting a taxi or something. I think it was just to make a joke about the 'bottles on the wall' song. Anyway, she tracks down Triumph the next day (and the woman who couldn't stop Triumph and was nearly killed by him declares that he couldn't handle round two with her?) and he accepts a truce.

Apparently Triumph travels by extended leaps, which allows for some wiggle room in the art budget when they just copy and paste the art for this. Harley travels on his shoulders, because of course she does. She leads him to the airfield where his brother lost his life.
Nothing mystical happens, and Triumph reflects on how romanticising the past is a bad idea but naturally Harley only focuses on how terrible she can be at the most inappropriate times.

Yeah. Fortunately, Harley's random idea works and inexplicably all of Triumph's cast appears to take him home. The Three Witches - look, that's a stupid name. Everyone knows a good coven has three members otherwise it's just an argument. ANYWAY - they say some cryptic stuff to Harley which makes me wonder if they're setting up some terrible revisit to this schtick or if she's supposed to have met them before and I just failed to care about it.

The Short End of the Jester Schtick 

Well this tie in is over. Did Harley learn anything? Not really. Seems like she just ran around touting her eating abilities, mocking Triumph's brains and trying not to die. Then, she solved the problem she made by a lucky fluke.

Then she gets praise from Jonni DC and her mom for doing.. nothing?

I mean - she's back in her wardrobe talking to her classic outfit, saying it's no good while wearing the lazy cosplay version of it. I mean.. what?

Then her mom (who apparently is chained to Harley's bedroom door) comes in and continues trash talking the outfit. I don't understand why they're seemingly putting the blame on the original outfit when the outfit itself did nothing, it's the person wearing it.

Hate to repeat myself, but she's done worse things in her current outfit (and her Suicide Squad outfit for that matter) but her mom just loves that one because she's not dating the Joker in it? Way to approve of murderers, ma.


Hmm, Harley, has your mom seen that you're still wearing Joker pins on the cover? Ruh oh.

So yeah.. there's some scant story about not getting caught up in the past but it's a big vague what Harley's ACTUALLY learnt. She'll probably get a pass from all her enablers though.

Wotta Comedian!

Triumph: You know what they say. A Nate Man's can't fix everything but there's nothing it can't make better.
Nate Man: Yeah, but I been eatin' these on the daily and I'm still stuck here. 

Harley: If ya tell anyone I cried, I'll murderise ya.
Jonni DC: You couldn't handle the paperwork.