Back into a long shitepost about Countdown again!
Here's Una and Karate Kid flying around Metropolis and dreaming about some sweet B&E.
Wait, what? They're going to break into Oracle's Metropolis hideout? Goooood Luuuucccck...
Speaking of hideouts, Pied Piper and Trickster and finding a change in their circumstances. Penguin treats them to some fancy wine and some nice chow. Trickster accepts it gladly but Piper has some reservations. Trickster mocks Piper for his negative view on things but sure enough, Penguin has the Suicide Squad ready and waiting to take out the rogue Rogues.
Meanwhile, Donna Troy and Jason Todd and flying through the sub-quantum something or other when Jason makes the mistake of asking how much weirder stuff can get.
Yeah, that's like an unwritten rule in comics, or even life. Just... don't.
Now we've mentioned weird, we have to mention Jimmy Olsen. Oops, I mean Mr. Action. He thwarts a mugger and gets a smooch, then some aspirations into a team dynamic one week into his solo crime fighting career. Maybe instead of dreaming big, Mr. Action could have stretched his way into Gotham to help Penguin save his expensive wine cellar because things are NOT going well over there.
Trickster hilariously yells about being rat catchers while running through the Iceberg Lounge - referring to the Pied Piper and his rat affinity, while also working double to embarrass Penguin.
The Suicide Squad get shown up, and hard, despite Deadshot's best attempts. Through a combination of boomerangs and forgetting about the electro chain tying them together, Trickster and Piper barely scrape their way out of there.
Talking about scrapes - man, how good am I tying these things together? - we meet up with Harley and Holly back over at the Athenian shelter, scraping away at the patriarchy and dodging rioting mobs. Last time, Holly saw Harley rejecting a single mother's application for refuge and she is now digging for answers about this.
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| Yeah, Athena will see you now.. ABOUT THAT BURN! |
Seriously, Holly. I love this scene. She's hauling herself up from the bottom of society and has been doing it rough - I don't blame her for asking for good reasons why they're putting someone vulnerable right back down the ladder. However, she's really judgey and stuck up when she goes about it, especially to someone who is clearly working on their own past and faults. I like how Harley doesn't go off on a tangent about it (something I clearly have trouble with!) but instead delivers a snappy retort and leaves with a cheeky grin on her face.
Holly goes in more politely with 'Athena' and ultimately ends up back where she was - no real answers - but now with a ticket to a self esteem workshop.
After breaking their way into Oracle's lair and being attacked by cybernetic tentacle things, Una and Karate Kid ask Oracle to 'pretty please turn off your defences, we're destroying your walls for good reason, we pinky promise!'
Turns out Oracle is busy stopping a cyber attack from elsewhere and doesn't have time for your futuristic shenanigans. Very much like Piper and Trickster don't have time for being chased by the Suicide Squad and so they put Piper's skills to good use.
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| I would love to have this power. Maybe with like, drums though so I could play AND run. ...A small drum. |
They feel a brief respite before the Question and Batwoman arrive. I feel a brief respite from boredom and I was really getting into this issue but then I remembered that these guys exist.
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| Translation: DC doesn't know what the 52 thing about is either. |
Now this issue jumps right into chaos - planes falling and crap like that. There's not really any emotional connection as to why we should care - no surprise because Palmiotto is involved plus we don't see any non-powered beings affected, but there is a nice montage of not only Superman, Super Girl and Powergirl catching planes and Green Lantern getting his own splash page but also a variety of heroes like Liberty Belle and the J.S.A as well as the Freedom Fighters doing their thing.
Speaking of planes, trains and automobiles - some women just like a good old fashioned cruise. Unless you're bitchypants Mary Marvel.
Well, she did just get her shirt torn. All the better to see your boobs, my dear.. I take it we've moved on from ogling her butt this issue and have moved upwards? Gross, guys.
And fish guy was turning tourists into fish monsters.. but then again they didn't move away or nothin'. Tourists are the worst in comics. I'm kinda glad we didn't see the human element to the planes falling from the sky earlier, because I'm sure the writers would find find a way to make it the traveller's fault instead of a computer virus.
Speaking of infectious things, have you seen the love-hate relationship from Oracle and Calculator?
Someone get those two a secluded chat room! Woof!
On the subject of chatting, Una and Karate Kid finally get to speak to Oracle... but get cut off by The Question. To let the Rogues go or not, that is The Question. Uh, I mean, that IS what The Question did. Let the Rogues go. Uhhh......
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| Hey Marge.. wouldn't it be weird if they had little parties at night? Wee, little parties! |
Batwoman is unimpressed - with both the puppets and how The Question is making me rethink how I type my sentences - but she is nowhere near Mary Marvel levels of unimpressed with Zatanna's slow and methodical way of defeating fish boy without hurting the tourists.
But Eclipso likey. Eclipso likey a lot.
The title of this issue is 'Ivy League' - which is funny, but I would have gone with "In the Ivy Leagues" or something so it flowed a bit better.
Right, now Zatanna is trying to take Mary Marvel under her hidden dove wings. Heh heh.. magic pun. So she takes our plucky new goth wannabe back to her home - which is an awesome haven of magic and looks amazing. Everything goes fairly well.
Well.... until this happens.
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| AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!! |
Who drew this?! What is this?! Why does Mary look like a blow up doll??? HOW DID THIS GET PRINTED??? Did this get done as a joke and then the editor was like "Whatever, I'm done for the day. Looks good enough for the unwashed masses. Print it!"
This re-reading of Countdown is really making me uncomfortable in the way Mary Marvel is treated and presented. I mean, just before there was a brief (ha!) knicker flash.
And now I stop and look at the caption... it's probably the worst ambiguous caption to put on this image. Especially if you don't realise they're talking about magic.
Trickster and Pied Piper get a brief scene, but probably only as a way to work a Poison Ivy cameo in so that the cover and the pun make sense.. I don't understand this because Pamela is now apparently Gollum with a bit of a serial killer twist. Um....Yeah, that's creepy. Nothing like a bonafide eco terrorist violent vegan hissing at you about deeeeaaaaad meat after a discussion with her mutant plants.
Still, this is the truest version of Poison Ivy I've seen in a while so I'll take it and embrace her funny yet freaky foliage follies no matter how strange it makes me feel.
My favourite comedienne and her straight foil have another lovely scene here where Harley hears about Holly going on the company retreat and decides the best way to celebrate is to absolutely destroy Holly's gymnastics practice while showing off her own skills. It's not even done maliciously, it's just Harley being joyfully Harley and it's amazing.
Holly's best impression of Grumpy Cat makes it all the better. Like, she thinks she's sooo much more better and smarter than Harley but at the end of the day knows it's like a grape fighting a steamroller. All she can do is wine. Ha!
Well the gimp suit's turning Mary Marvel into a domination freak already. I think it's supposed to be a cute magician throw back but yeah, yeah nah, not with this Mary Marvel.
Meanwhile in the 'Palmerverse' where there is, absolutely no Ray Palmer - our intrepid gang are ticked off. Well, wouldn't you be? It's like looking forward to going to Disneyland for ages but you get there and there's nary a Mickey Mouse ear in sight. Or it could be the bugs. Yeah, they're not only ugly, human sized and aggressive but they also have magic powers. Haven't heard a peep from Jason 'little girls can't be wizards' Todd though. Just saying.
Meanwhile, Piper and Trickster are pretty much boned. Or rather Trickster is high off Ivy's pheromones and trying to bone. Luckily, Trickster flubs his way into getting Ivy to believe that they are here to meet her partner.
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| I mean, it's good. This could be anyone in Gotham. |
Turns out her partner is Deathstroke - the grown man who can't leave kids alone. Great.
Also annoying to see him just walk up to them with a sword. I get he's partnered with Ivy but don't her plants act like her Facebook page? *ding!* You've made a new friend. Say Hi to Deathstroke! *ding!* Wave to Deathstroke! *ding!* Deathstroke is live. *ding!* Deathstroke liked your album 'New Greenhouse layout'. *ding* Deathstroke's right behind you with a sword!
Wish I could figure out how to turn off half of those settings and actually have Facebook acknowledge them.
Another cut scene gives us Zatanna trying to teach Mary the fundamentals of magic and thankfully it doesn't include any shenanigans like on the cover. Mary's like screw the training wheels on this bike and give me the keys to the ATV! Naturally, acting like a stupid kid who wants to skip the boring groundwork and jump to the fun explosions without realising why having an untrained idiot at the helm would be a bit problematic.
Zatanna tells her 'Handing you such a talisman now would be like giving a loaded gun to a child' and Mary snaps and throws a tantrum yelling 'I am NOT a child!' which sounds like a lot of young kids I've seen, or heard.. actually. So, not the best argument Mary and it doesn't offer any evidence to the contrary.
Not content enough to be a wailing child and a stupid one at that, Mary decides her next course of action should be to break Zatanna's stuff and steal her magical dildo. Uh, a few things here. Mary's deformed hand in that glass. Ugh. Secondly, she couldn't even magic her way into the cabinet? Damn, basic bitch doesn't even have the basics down. Then... ugh.. orgasm face is not flattering.Then she's firing magic everywhere destroying some things and turning other things alive without apparently meaning to, then she has the nerve to get outraged when Zatanna takes back her own property.
Eclipso is able to spy on Zatanna's house despite all of her enchantments which is a bit worrying. Also worrying that Zatanna is not destroying the hell out of Mary - I mean I get she doesn't want to hurt Mary and is trying to protect her stuff as well but still. Smack her insolent ass down!!
Speaking of smack downs, here's Karate Kid attacking Equus.
Who is Equus? Is he made for this comic or is he pre-existing? I don't know. What I do know is that he kinda reminds me of Julia Sazia's henchmen from Wonder Woman volume 2.
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| #TeamMoot |
Anyway he's only doing his job as security for this other place that Uma and Karate Kid are trespassing in. It's like a decommissioned army base though, so it's probably a target for moochers. Still, if it's supposed to be abandoned, you'd think they could go with blackout curtains to stop dead giveaways that someone is in fact home.
Speaking of awkward things... Jimmy Olsen is Jimmy Olsen'ing being Mister Action.
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| Even the B & C-listers look unimpressed! |
I love this cover. The colours, the all female posse, the poses and the realistic art... it's just so dramatic and eye catching.
Massive props. Although, it could be clearer on who the girl in white is beside Donna. I assume it's the innocent Mary Marvel, given her cloak thing, light brown hair and freckles but then again dark Mary Marvel is there too, just chilling in the background.Besides, most covers showing an inner turmoil/mixed identities/transformation foreshadowing would be more like this Sailor Moon image from her original opening credits.
Normally because the focus is entirely on them and you wouldn't have anyone else in the shot, as it were. Even here, evil Mary is waaaay too far in the background for this to be the case but who else could it be? Una? The thigh highs match up, so does her cloak... but her hair's not that long in this series and she doesn't have freckles that I know of.
I mean, there's someone here from each plotline... Donna for the Palmer search, Zatanna with trying to help Mary, Holly for her role with the shelter (no Harley? Booo!) dark Mary Marvel for.. her fall from grace/Eclipso's role... so it makes sense that Una would be there to represent for Team Future People Who May or May Not Have a Better Group Name. Plus it makes sense for all the heroes to be clumped together and the further away you are (reformed criminal Holly/super evil Mary) the less heroic is your designation.
Then again if there are two Mary's but not enough room for a Harley/Funnyface - I am gonna be ticked! So yeah, if anyone can confirm... please let me know in a comment below. Thanks!!
Now, back to the Countdown!
Where we last left of, a mysterious figure had entered the fight Donna and her sassy sidekicks were having with some weird bug things.. and now we see that they've been captured, and only Donna has regained consciousness. Probably because she's kick ass. Technical term.
This is Queen Belthera, a bug queen on an awesome throne... who also raises some questions.
*ahem.*
What is that expression? Why are her attendees shrivelled monk guys when everyone else is bugs? How did she knock everyone else out? How are her leg barbs not interlocking right now? Are those her real eyebrows? Is she human and wearing a body suit or is she entirely bug and that's her actual body? Is her cloak actually wings? Does it hurt to sit on them? Why is her power stick shoved in behind her like a TV remote? Is her throne made of bugs or just fashioned like one?? Are the shrunken head monks going up in ranks with colours and losing their eyes?
OK... that's about it. Ahhh.... that feels better, even if I don't have all the answers.
Jason wakes up just in time to see that Ryan is totally captured.
And also kinda buggish, but more on that later. Ryan may be stuck but Mary is physically the opposite, having just had her heiney kicked out of Zatanna's magical pillow fort.
Yeah, see, this would be a nice redemption arc but it's more like a extended version of Jekyll and Hyde.. but with brats and magic. Really that was her second chance with Zatanna anyway. Speaking of second chances, here's Holly with her camp adventures.
Holly didn't read the fine print about the purification ritual and is sorely under prepared for the Junior Gladiator trials. Not that she's worried about it as no one else there really has decent fighting experience apart from a golden faced gladiatrix. She easily knocks down a bunch of ladies and manages to get a whip but naturally her ego is her biggest weapon.
I mean, sure, she's a better fighter than the average downtrodden woman at the shelter but after she notices the golden 'Funny Face' brawler she seems to instantly forget about her again for a whole five seconds until they're the last ones standing.
Other people are fighting too. Like the whole Justice League against Jimmy Olsen or Equus against Karate Kid and Una against her unfortunate knee condition.
Yikes! Don't they have doctors for that in the future??
Turns out Equus can regrow limbs but can't withstand some dude with their foot on his back.
The rest of the comic is Donna impressing Belthera by escaping the weird energy levitation prison but then getting taken out by Bob who is apparently under the bug queen's thrall. Then the red monitors show up but I have completely zoned out on what they were blathering on about.
There was a bit at the end of the last issue where it did a bio for Parallax and the erstwhile Green Lantern who forgot he wasn't supposed to be yellow, in fact.
Then in this issue we have the below terrifying encounter.
I don't know who has the oversized head fetish at DC... I just know it's gotta stop.
Anyway, Jimmy's terrifying head is the result of Steel trying to brain scan him with interesting but not helpful results.
Speaking of not helpful - Poison Ivy and Deathstroke have left Trickster and Pied Piper hung off a building as a gift for Batman. Batman shows up to taunt the former Rogues a bit but then he lets them fall as The Flash rocks up and kidnaps them away to a world of further pain.
Yeah, Wally is pretty ticked but then again as far as he knows, these two had a hand in Bart's death.
He's barely waiting for any answers despite usually being one of the most able to be reasoned with of the Justice League.
Of those that aren't able to be reasoned with at all we have Belthera, who is not a Justice League member but some sort of random bug queen. Donna is just not into this and ends up drop kicking her butt into a wormhole. To be fair on Donna, she had asked for her friends to be released but Belthera was like nuh uh, honey! I'm busy playing with my snow-globe! So Donna has to free her own friends (Well, just Jason so far) and then she gets dragged into said wormhole by bug face herself.
It's just rude.
Like thinking you're the best at your game then someone else comes along to take your chess piece.
Like Holly. Yeah, she's still fighting her mystery opponent in a gladiator themed battle room. I mean, how is she not realising who this is? Apart from Holly being frankly stuck up her own butt and thinking she's just soo much better than everyone else.. how does she not realise that this is Harley? Who else would have fighting experience and so far has been able to throw Holly off balance with literally everything else?
"It figures" ?? Shyeah right, totally time to tell Batman all the World's Greatest Detective gigs are going to Holly now!
Similar to how Mary Marvel is going to China to walk on people's faces.
Actually I didn't even notice that the first time I read this. Mary was attracted to this mystical haven because she saw a concealment spell when she was flying over it and now she's hanging out with Klarion - the Ace Ventura hair guy.
It's a look I dig, but too much blue in the face, Karion, tooo much bluuue.
Eventually Klarion tries to sell Mary Marvel at the weird markets because he's Klarion and he always pulls sneaky stuff like this. Come on, Mary. He TOLD you who he was.
Gotta admit I am intrigued by this scene and I am wondering if a) this place appears in any other DC books and b) is this the home town of Mogwais?
Meanwhile Karate Kid and Una visit Mister. Orr's weird science lab and find out that Karate Kid is potentially an O.M.A.C. or a Braniac 13 just waiting to happen.
So.... that's just great. As well as being a crazy machine thing, it also runs the risk of a convoluted plot coming in and a boring one at that. Orr tells them to see his friend Buddy Blank - on 123 Fake Street, Somewheresville - for actual answers. Then he barely waits until they're out of the room to call his sneaky buddy Desaad and light an evil cigar.
Not if he finds out you been messing up his fake chess board.
Well spoiler alert for Donna Troy's adventures - Green Lantern Kyle Rayner shows up.
It's just as well because he saves Donna with the celebrated past time of fishing with willpower... but his arrival also brings back some realllll... perspective shots.
50 Shades of Countdown?
50 Butts of Countdown??
It means you're freaking me out!
Stop putting this order in, Anton!!
I may have mentioned this before but this is where an editor's note would be helpful because I don't remember what happened between Donna and Kyle, and why it's any of Jason's business. I mean, it seems to be romantic but I have a thing against dating co-workers... and I feel that super-heroes should too. Alright, according to Titans Tower - the only clear website I could find immediately that had the power to answer my questions - this fling was mostly contained within the pages of Green Lantern comics. Which I don't read because they're usually boring. This relationship does sort of tie in to what I know from Blackest Night where Donna tried to comfort her emotional zombie baby and emotional zombie ex-husband.
Now speaking of zombies of the emotional persuasion, here;s some interesting art involving Mary Marvel. As it turns out, Klarion was not attacking Mary but the store keeper was... because she approached his stall without warning? Wow. Good logic. Excellent retail skills. Much sell. Bet this guy stays in business for a while.
Disclaimer - these angles... (and not just the upskirts either!) are quite disturbing. How do her legs and other joints work? Also, WHY.
Klarion still tries to make the situation work in his favour by aiding Mary slightly and then asking for some power in return. He looks a lot like Eclipso in the shadows... someone who's been stalking Mary for a while.
Not as scary as Jimmy Olsen's blue sedans.
Yeah... Does anyone else feel like every move Jimmy made was very, very documented at the start and now he's just jumping from The Watchtower to Metropolis to a traffic run with no in between?
I feel like this last one needed more than just Jimmy's internal monologue. If you're being chased by cars... why are you on the ROADWAY JIMMY? Run up a stairwell or something, heck knows America is full of those sliding bastiches.
Turns out it's people from Cadmus who are here to help. So Jimmy panicked for absolutely no reason and was a completely bad example for the kids in the city.
Jimmy didn't even THINK of Cadmus. Neither would I actually. I can't recall if he even thought of S.T.A.R Labs.
Plus he can't spell anymore and HE'S writing for the most prestigious paper in Metropolis.
Trickster and Pied Piper end up in a plush hotel that's set up for Green Arrow/Black Canary's nuptials. Flash tells them not to leave, but they're terrified he's gonna come back WITH Zatanna or someone else and mind wipe them. I think they looked past the fact that if Zatanna can teleport three grown ass dudes via phone call, that she could have just teleported herself at the same time and then their fear would be warranted. I can kind of understand the worry but at the same time, Flash brought them to a location swarming with superheroes and he just saved them from internal bombs.
They may live another day to get revenge on Deathstroke! They should be happy and comfortable where they are instead of how they were - resorting to stealing food from a greenhouse to slay their hunger and continuously running for their lives. Trickster subdues Piper and drags him to the door but our old friend the Mummy what attacked Mary Marvel makes his triumphant comeback.
Speaking of comebacks, now Kyle's on the roster Jason isn't happy. Again, I couldn't find any direct report of a relationship with Donna but everyone ships them and apparently he has a crush on her or something. Suddenly a giant freakin' hand steals Atom away and the rest of Donna's group are like 'welp, let's go' because that's how they roll. Also, the hand was like REALLY big.
Nope, Klarion totally was trying to screw Mary Marvel over and take her power then have Teekl eat her remains. Damn evil cats! Mary almost smites them righteous when she gets an incoming telepathic call from some other random and she flies off to meet them because she clearly doesn't need any further explanation. Also she doesn't have a job, so she can just fly between America, China and Turkey with no worries.
Mary also has no friends to hang out with. Trickster and Pied Piper weren't exactly best buddies either but it's amazing what a shock bracelet and fleeing for your lives can do.
Does Jimmy Olsen have friends? Not sure apart from Superman but he might do now he's in Cadmus and after a ride on their upside down Hot Wheels track he meets Serling Roquette - head of genetics.
Black Canary has tonnes of friends, and just about all of them came to the bachelorette party. Dinah is a little concerned about the one selfie that could ruin them all - but then why have everyone come in their work clothes? - however Oracle casually reminds her that there are disgusting people with access to Photoshop and the world gets a laugh at the expense of the exploited heroine. Umm...
Lady Blackhawk is there and making margaritas no one likes.. the two people that want to drink it (Supergirl and Wonder Girl) keep having their fun spoiled by the watchful Wonder Woman and Zatanna. Zatanna is bitching about Mary Marvel but no one (Power Girl and Starfire?) is listening to her. Hell, they're not even facing the right direction. Big Barda is moping because HER idea of a party would have been more interesting. She jumps at the chance to stop Hassan when he bursts into the room to chase the rogue Rogues.
Meanwhile, further shenanigans ensue when Green Lantern accidentally takes the group to Moscow of Earth 30 where 'Super-Stalin' is toying with the idea of cracking their transport egg apart and then their heads. So they end up somewhere else, where the Superman are nicer. Wait, I mean just as bad, because they're now in Metroplis of Earth 3... home to the Crime Society.
Mary's vacation is just angrily stomping around the Temple of Artemis to meet the person who owns the mysterious voice in her head giving directions, but to each their own.
Hey - check it out! It's the nearest thing we have to an editor's note. I know this series has many tie ins but come on, help a sister out guys!
Unlike Jimmy Olsen, we don't need any dialogue to explain what's happened here but the team go on anyway. Basically evil doppelgangers who attack because they want to give Commissioner Gordon a nice present of Jason's intestines. Aaaaawww... so thoughtful.
They get the upper hand thanks to Donna's incredibly strong upper arms but then lose it just as quick because both Jason and Kyle decide to do their territory marking and ruin everything.
Now thanks to these two dude-bro's with the same hair cut and almost identical colour fixations, Donna has to act like a school teacher when she really should have just clonked their heads together before they got surrounded by ugly clones.
Geez they even pose the same. Yikes.
Jason's little quip was a bit of sorely needed black humour, but true lighthearted comedy is never far away as here comes... The Jokester!
I love how he just takes down a group of super powered villains with gag tricks. Classic!
Speaking of joke themed characters, Holly writes a letter to Catwoman bemoaning being "best friends" with Harley Quinn, winning a 'crazy battered housewife battle royal', going to a "pilgrimage" to a special "training camp" and making sure she gets her money's worth of "air quotes" before she goes. Special points to the ambiguous hands that destroy her letter before she's even out the door. They don't match the receptionist's but we don't see anyone else there.
Speaking of out the door, here's Mr. Mxyzpt - -
..... aaaaaaaand he's gone. KNEW I shouldn't have said that name!!!
Talking about going places... here's Mary Marvel leaving her equivalent of a negative review on Turkey's cultural highlights and leaving for some other final destination with Eclipso who's totally not ominous in anyway.
She is a very good manipulator though. Klarion could learn a few things here. Eclipso convinces Mary that she isn't after her power at all and only wants to help, feigning to leave the scene when Mary compares her to the other failed 'mentors' and presses that Eclipso must want something from her.
Part of the trick is to let Mary think her power is insignificant to what Eclipso wields.
Jimmy Olsen works his charm by not only insulting the scientists, but also their equipment and outfit choices. All the while he's lying there with his green striped boxers and orange hair looking like some sort of stupider and weaker Amazo.
See I could have gone with a Howdy Doody reference (I'm not even American, I've never even seen it!) or even a Ron Howard shout out (only became aware of him through the Simpsons!) but I kept it within DC!
Naturally Jimmy has a bad reaction to the Cadmus stuff too and goes all weird like.
Well, wierder, I guess.
Do he got a booty?
Just click the link and send money to..
Bob manages to teleport the gang out of the Crime Society's reach (The Jokester jumping aboard for the ride) which ticks off the balding red guys to no end. Then Monarch shows up with Forerunner to offer the Crime Society a buy one get one free universe domination deal.
Could be a scam. Sound like a scam.
That's what Buddy Blank's grandson thinks and he wisely runs away. We can all learn from this, and of course from Una's self confident self help.
Yeah... you.... hideous freak, Karate Kid.
Well, doesn't this sound foreboding?
Trickster and Pied Piper are at some weird cave thing watching a bunch of superheroes duke it out with the other Rogues and a bunch of super villains. Apparently Piper had to confirm if the heroes had taken their warning seriously. Meanwhile I might as well still be in a cave because I have no idea when they were even told where the wedding was - I hope it's not in a cave. If it is, it could at least be called the 'Quiver'. (Injustice reference!)
They then hear a TV come to life, and as it's a gift from the Joker they automatically assume the worst. Fair call. Trickster wants to run for the hills but after Pied Piper plays on his conscience about getting rid of the TV itself, Trickster realises they've been rude in not thanking Poison Ivy for her hospitality earlier. So, they throw the telly at her and it explodes on her. Then they scarper while bickering about who gets to drive, despite the way they're chained.
There's some random playing card themed villain in their car - oh wait, a random homophobic playing card themed villain in their car... why is everyone so focused on Piper's sex life? I know I'm not the loudest champion for LBTQ et al rights but damn, I don't want to know about anyone's sex life to be honest. Plus it's a bit rich of everyone to keep bagging our Piper while they're wearing such ridiculous outfits. I mean, if they really hated everything stereo-typically gay, why did they paint the rainbow on their own outfit?
Speaking of getting a bit queer, Jimmy Olsen has somehow managed to split into an angry giant version of himself and an orange version of Plastic Man while trapped in the Cadmus booth. Then he decides the best way to help himself is to get out of the room, while leaving the angry version of himself and also the bill for wrecking the Cadmus guards. Oopsie.
And he is NOT, I repeat NOT floating in Clayface there!
Now Donna and her ever increasing gang arrive on Earth 15's Gotham City where Jason Todd is getting upset about being near a Joker wannabe and also about Bob being useless.
He makes a point about Bob, but I have to wonder what's going through the Jokester's mind when he says he's sorry that apparently an alternate version of himself that he was completely unaware of killed the guy who's standing in front of him and who also appears completely alive.
They briefly put aside their issues when the Batman and co of this earth arrive and start new beef. Well, politer beef than the Crime Society, but that's to be expected.
As well as doing the usual opposite-me discussion, they all calmly note their similarities. I did notice Wonder Woman using her lasso without warning/permission which is a bit unlike her. Also, now that I think about it, why are all these people in Gotham?
Like, Batman makes sense. But Wonder Woman, Green Lantern and Atom? They normally reside somewhere else. So you wonder if they're here for convenience or if they really live there in this earth.
I really like Jokester's quips here and the little nuggets about Jason recognising himself under the Bat-mask and not Brucie. I do however note that Jason - a skilled acrobat and thief even as a child - turned superhero but still did 'adult' things like swearing and smoking - has A LOT of issues when it's young girls doing things out of their usual age range.
I mean, the wizard thing made sense, because when you picture a wizard, it's normally a crazy old guy with a super long beard and gnarled stick with a knob on the end and not a young alien girl but here.. if he's not going to question any of the male Atoms, why is he picking on Jessica Palmer?
Plus, she's like his height and has boobs yet Jason calls her a twelve year old?
It's like he WANTS to get beaten up wherever he goes. This time, beaten up literally by himself.
Earth 15 Wonder Woman takes Donna aside to tell her some mythological story about Zeus swallowing his wife who was carrying his son, but then that hurt his feelings so someone cut his head open and Athena popped out and Zeus was like 'Yo, here's the secret location of my lightning bolts and magic shield.'
She had a point to the story about not conforming to people's expectations but took the long, long, confusing way to it and now I have no idea what's going on but it seems to comfort Donna... or confuse her too. Wow, what is happening?
Thanks for the pep talk? I think?
Donna was saying how this Earth was like looking into a mirror where all your dreams had come true. Maybe reading too much of Harry Potter but that's okay. I mean, this world has a CLEAN Gotham City, a less grumpy Batman, a Superman that's not needed, their Joker is dead...
Seems pretty good.
Plus this part was pretty sweet.
Until those idiot red guys show up. Urgh, go away already!
Now I feel like a vacation after all of this travel porn! Ahh, here we go. A nice, Athenian Women's Shelter retreat. What could possibleh go wrong?
Well....
Would you like Megalodons with that?
Yep. Next part of training involved getting into the water and swimming (in battle armour) along the mega sharks to get to the shore. Holly has literally just finished saying that anyone who jumps in there would be insane when this happens...
Have I mentioned how much I love classic Harley Quinn?
Holly begrudgingly follows soon enough but asks for a blessing or advice from Athena before doing so. Athena tells her to aim for the eyes... however the giant sharks do not actually have eyes.
The Short End of the Jester Schtick
As you may have guessed, I skipped over the Monitor parts quite a bit because they are quite tedious. Also when they 'appeared' on Earth 15 and not one of the heroes noticed? I mean, they were invisible but since when can Superman/Wonder Woman not notice things not of this world? That part was stupid. And why even have monitors if they're just going to appear on the worlds anyway? Gah.
Harley was a constant delight in this series even though she's not really in any major role. I think she works best as someone off to the side though. Gives her more free reign, ironically. Holly was a constant source of irritation though. Man, what a miserable sod. She came across as so up herself - and at times downright rude about the shelter itself (was especially not fond of the 'battered housewives' battle royale. She can't even say royale right.) She's not wrong to question Athena and I'd probably be that brash if I was in that situation but she's honestly just terrible. If she wasn't partnered with Harley, I'd skip all of her parts. As it turns out, Harley is a great partner to team Holly up with.
It feels like they're draggin Jimmy Olsen's saga out quite a bit, and the same with Karate Kid. Now, Karate Kid being part of the Great Disaster - I can understand. Why is Jimmy taking ten million years to do anything? Is he even still going to work? Like, what?
Mary Marvel's arc is somewhat speeding up which is great because she was the Jimmy Olsen of the last Countdown shite post. Still annoyed that there's not little editor notes sprinkled around so you can follow the side stories and tie ins should you wish.
As always Pied Piper and Trickster are good, but their part is toned down a lot in these issues.
Wotta Comedian!
And also kinda buggish, but more on that later. Ryan may be stuck but Mary is physically the opposite, having just had her heiney kicked out of Zatanna's magical pillow fort.
Holly didn't read the fine print about the purification ritual and is sorely under prepared for the Junior Gladiator trials. Not that she's worried about it as no one else there really has decent fighting experience apart from a golden faced gladiatrix. She easily knocks down a bunch of ladies and manages to get a whip but naturally her ego is her biggest weapon.
I mean, sure, she's a better fighter than the average downtrodden woman at the shelter but after she notices the golden 'Funny Face' brawler she seems to instantly forget about her again for a whole five seconds until they're the last ones standing.
Other people are fighting too. Like the whole Justice League against Jimmy Olsen or Equus against Karate Kid and Una against her unfortunate knee condition.
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| Yikes! Don't they have doctors for that in the future?? |
Turns out Equus can regrow limbs but can't withstand some dude with their foot on his back.
The rest of the comic is Donna impressing Belthera by escaping the weird energy levitation prison but then getting taken out by Bob who is apparently under the bug queen's thrall. Then the red monitors show up but I have completely zoned out on what they were blathering on about.
There was a bit at the end of the last issue where it did a bio for Parallax and the erstwhile Green Lantern who forgot he wasn't supposed to be yellow, in fact.
Then in this issue we have the below terrifying encounter.
Then in this issue we have the below terrifying encounter.
I don't know who has the oversized head fetish at DC... I just know it's gotta stop.
Anyway, Jimmy's terrifying head is the result of Steel trying to brain scan him with interesting but not helpful results.
Anyway, Jimmy's terrifying head is the result of Steel trying to brain scan him with interesting but not helpful results.
Speaking of not helpful - Poison Ivy and Deathstroke have left Trickster and Pied Piper hung off a building as a gift for Batman. Batman shows up to taunt the former Rogues a bit but then he lets them fall as The Flash rocks up and kidnaps them away to a world of further pain.
Yeah, Wally is pretty ticked but then again as far as he knows, these two had a hand in Bart's death.
He's barely waiting for any answers despite usually being one of the most able to be reasoned with of the Justice League.
Of those that aren't able to be reasoned with at all we have Belthera, who is not a Justice League member but some sort of random bug queen. Donna is just not into this and ends up drop kicking her butt into a wormhole. To be fair on Donna, she had asked for her friends to be released but Belthera was like nuh uh, honey! I'm busy playing with my snow-globe! So Donna has to free her own friends (Well, just Jason so far) and then she gets dragged into said wormhole by bug face herself.
It's just rude.
Of those that aren't able to be reasoned with at all we have Belthera, who is not a Justice League member but some sort of random bug queen. Donna is just not into this and ends up drop kicking her butt into a wormhole. To be fair on Donna, she had asked for her friends to be released but Belthera was like nuh uh, honey! I'm busy playing with my snow-globe! So Donna has to free her own friends (Well, just Jason so far) and then she gets dragged into said wormhole by bug face herself.
It's just rude.
Like thinking you're the best at your game then someone else comes along to take your chess piece.
Like Holly. Yeah, she's still fighting her mystery opponent in a gladiator themed battle room. I mean, how is she not realising who this is? Apart from Holly being frankly stuck up her own butt and thinking she's just soo much better than everyone else.. how does she not realise that this is Harley? Who else would have fighting experience and so far has been able to throw Holly off balance with literally everything else?
Like Holly. Yeah, she's still fighting her mystery opponent in a gladiator themed battle room. I mean, how is she not realising who this is? Apart from Holly being frankly stuck up her own butt and thinking she's just soo much better than everyone else.. how does she not realise that this is Harley? Who else would have fighting experience and so far has been able to throw Holly off balance with literally everything else? 
"It figures" ?? Shyeah right, totally time to tell Batman all the World's Greatest Detective gigs are going to Holly now!
Similar to how Mary Marvel is going to China to walk on people's faces.
Similar to how Mary Marvel is going to China to walk on people's faces.
Actually I didn't even notice that the first time I read this. Mary was attracted to this mystical haven because she saw a concealment spell when she was flying over it and now she's hanging out with Klarion - the Ace Ventura hair guy.
It's a look I dig, but too much blue in the face, Karion, tooo much bluuue.
Eventually Klarion tries to sell Mary Marvel at the weird markets because he's Klarion and he always pulls sneaky stuff like this. Come on, Mary. He TOLD you who he was.
Gotta admit I am intrigued by this scene and I am wondering if a) this place appears in any other DC books and b) is this the home town of Mogwais?
Meanwhile Karate Kid and Una visit Mister. Orr's weird science lab and find out that Karate Kid is potentially an O.M.A.C. or a Braniac 13 just waiting to happen.
So.... that's just great. As well as being a crazy machine thing, it also runs the risk of a convoluted plot coming in and a boring one at that. Orr tells them to see his friend Buddy Blank - on 123 Fake Street, Somewheresville - for actual answers. Then he barely waits until they're out of the room to call his sneaky buddy Desaad and light an evil cigar.
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| Not if he finds out you been messing up his fake chess board. |
Well spoiler alert for Donna Troy's adventures - Green Lantern Kyle Rayner shows up.
It's just as well because he saves Donna with the celebrated past time of fishing with willpower... but his arrival also brings back some realllll... perspective shots.
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| 50 Shades of Countdown? |
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| 50 Butts of Countdown?? |
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| It means you're freaking me out! |
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| Stop putting this order in, Anton!! |
I may have mentioned this before but this is where an editor's note would be helpful because I don't remember what happened between Donna and Kyle, and why it's any of Jason's business. I mean, it seems to be romantic but I have a thing against dating co-workers... and I feel that super-heroes should too. Alright, according to Titans Tower - the only clear website I could find immediately that had the power to answer my questions - this fling was mostly contained within the pages of Green Lantern comics. Which I don't read because they're usually boring. This relationship does sort of tie in to what I know from Blackest Night where Donna tried to comfort her emotional zombie baby and emotional zombie ex-husband.
Now speaking of zombies of the emotional persuasion, here;s some interesting art involving Mary Marvel. As it turns out, Klarion was not attacking Mary but the store keeper was... because she approached his stall without warning? Wow. Good logic. Excellent retail skills. Much sell. Bet this guy stays in business for a while.
Disclaimer - these angles... (and not just the upskirts either!) are quite disturbing. How do her legs and other joints work? Also, WHY.
Klarion still tries to make the situation work in his favour by aiding Mary slightly and then asking for some power in return. He looks a lot like Eclipso in the shadows... someone who's been stalking Mary for a while.
Not as scary as Jimmy Olsen's blue sedans.
Yeah... Does anyone else feel like every move Jimmy made was very, very documented at the start and now he's just jumping from The Watchtower to Metropolis to a traffic run with no in between?
I feel like this last one needed more than just Jimmy's internal monologue. If you're being chased by cars... why are you on the ROADWAY JIMMY? Run up a stairwell or something, heck knows America is full of those sliding bastiches.
Turns out it's people from Cadmus who are here to help. So Jimmy panicked for absolutely no reason and was a completely bad example for the kids in the city.
Jimmy didn't even THINK of Cadmus. Neither would I actually. I can't recall if he even thought of S.T.A.R Labs.
Plus he can't spell anymore and HE'S writing for the most prestigious paper in Metropolis.
Trickster and Pied Piper end up in a plush hotel that's set up for Green Arrow/Black Canary's nuptials. Flash tells them not to leave, but they're terrified he's gonna come back WITH Zatanna or someone else and mind wipe them. I think they looked past the fact that if Zatanna can teleport three grown ass dudes via phone call, that she could have just teleported herself at the same time and then their fear would be warranted. I can kind of understand the worry but at the same time, Flash brought them to a location swarming with superheroes and he just saved them from internal bombs.
They may live another day to get revenge on Deathstroke! They should be happy and comfortable where they are instead of how they were - resorting to stealing food from a greenhouse to slay their hunger and continuously running for their lives. Trickster subdues Piper and drags him to the door but our old friend the Mummy what attacked Mary Marvel makes his triumphant comeback.
Speaking of comebacks, now Kyle's on the roster Jason isn't happy. Again, I couldn't find any direct report of a relationship with Donna but everyone ships them and apparently he has a crush on her or something. Suddenly a giant freakin' hand steals Atom away and the rest of Donna's group are like 'welp, let's go' because that's how they roll. Also, the hand was like REALLY big.
Nope, Klarion totally was trying to screw Mary Marvel over and take her power then have Teekl eat her remains. Damn evil cats! Mary almost smites them righteous when she gets an incoming telepathic call from some other random and she flies off to meet them because she clearly doesn't need any further explanation. Also she doesn't have a job, so she can just fly between America, China and Turkey with no worries.
Mary also has no friends to hang out with. Trickster and Pied Piper weren't exactly best buddies either but it's amazing what a shock bracelet and fleeing for your lives can do.
Does Jimmy Olsen have friends? Not sure apart from Superman but he might do now he's in Cadmus and after a ride on their upside down Hot Wheels track he meets Serling Roquette - head of genetics.
Black Canary has tonnes of friends, and just about all of them came to the bachelorette party. Dinah is a little concerned about the one selfie that could ruin them all - but then why have everyone come in their work clothes? - however Oracle casually reminds her that there are disgusting people with access to Photoshop and the world gets a laugh at the expense of the exploited heroine. Umm...
Lady Blackhawk is there and making margaritas no one likes.. the two people that want to drink it (Supergirl and Wonder Girl) keep having their fun spoiled by the watchful Wonder Woman and Zatanna. Zatanna is bitching about Mary Marvel but no one (Power Girl and Starfire?) is listening to her. Hell, they're not even facing the right direction. Big Barda is moping because HER idea of a party would have been more interesting. She jumps at the chance to stop Hassan when he bursts into the room to chase the rogue Rogues.
Meanwhile, further shenanigans ensue when Green Lantern accidentally takes the group to Moscow of Earth 30 where 'Super-Stalin' is toying with the idea of cracking their transport egg apart and then their heads. So they end up somewhere else, where the Superman are nicer. Wait, I mean just as bad, because they're now in Metroplis of Earth 3... home to the Crime Society.
Mary's vacation is just angrily stomping around the Temple of Artemis to meet the person who owns the mysterious voice in her head giving directions, but to each their own.
Hey - check it out! It's the nearest thing we have to an editor's note. I know this series has many tie ins but come on, help a sister out guys!
Unlike Jimmy Olsen, we don't need any dialogue to explain what's happened here but the team go on anyway. Basically evil doppelgangers who attack because they want to give Commissioner Gordon a nice present of Jason's intestines. Aaaaawww... so thoughtful.
They get the upper hand thanks to Donna's incredibly strong upper arms but then lose it just as quick because both Jason and Kyle decide to do their territory marking and ruin everything.
Now thanks to these two dude-bro's with the same hair cut and almost identical colour fixations, Donna has to act like a school teacher when she really should have just clonked their heads together before they got surrounded by ugly clones.
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| Geez they even pose the same. Yikes. |
Jason's little quip was a bit of sorely needed black humour, but true lighthearted comedy is never far away as here comes... The Jokester!
I love how he just takes down a group of super powered villains with gag tricks. Classic!
Speaking of joke themed characters, Holly writes a letter to Catwoman bemoaning being "best friends" with Harley Quinn, winning a 'crazy battered housewife battle royal', going to a "pilgrimage" to a special "training camp" and making sure she gets her money's worth of "air quotes" before she goes. Special points to the ambiguous hands that destroy her letter before she's even out the door. They don't match the receptionist's but we don't see anyone else there.
Speaking of out the door, here's Mr. Mxyzpt - -
..... aaaaaaaand he's gone. KNEW I shouldn't have said that name!!!
Talking about going places... here's Mary Marvel leaving her equivalent of a negative review on Turkey's cultural highlights and leaving for some other final destination with Eclipso who's totally not ominous in anyway. She is a very good manipulator though. Klarion could learn a few things here. Eclipso convinces Mary that she isn't after her power at all and only wants to help, feigning to leave the scene when Mary compares her to the other failed 'mentors' and presses that Eclipso must want something from her.
Part of the trick is to let Mary think her power is insignificant to what Eclipso wields.
Jimmy Olsen works his charm by not only insulting the scientists, but also their equipment and outfit choices. All the while he's lying there with his green striped boxers and orange hair looking like some sort of stupider and weaker Amazo.
See I could have gone with a Howdy Doody reference (I'm not even American, I've never even seen it!) or even a Ron Howard shout out (only became aware of him through the Simpsons!) but I kept it within DC!
Naturally Jimmy has a bad reaction to the Cadmus stuff too and goes all weird like.
Well, wierder, I guess.
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| Do he got a booty? |
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| Just click the link and send money to.. |
Bob manages to teleport the gang out of the Crime Society's reach (The Jokester jumping aboard for the ride) which ticks off the balding red guys to no end. Then Monarch shows up with Forerunner to offer the Crime Society a buy one get one free universe domination deal.
Could be a scam. Sound like a scam.
That's what Buddy Blank's grandson thinks and he wisely runs away. We can all learn from this, and of course from Una's self confident self help.
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| Yeah... you.... hideous freak, Karate Kid. |
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| Well, doesn't this sound foreboding? |
Trickster and Pied Piper are at some weird cave thing watching a bunch of superheroes duke it out with the other Rogues and a bunch of super villains. Apparently Piper had to confirm if the heroes had taken their warning seriously. Meanwhile I might as well still be in a cave because I have no idea when they were even told where the wedding was - I hope it's not in a cave. If it is, it could at least be called the 'Quiver'. (Injustice reference!)
They then hear a TV come to life, and as it's a gift from the Joker they automatically assume the worst. Fair call. Trickster wants to run for the hills but after Pied Piper plays on his conscience about getting rid of the TV itself, Trickster realises they've been rude in not thanking Poison Ivy for her hospitality earlier. So, they throw the telly at her and it explodes on her. Then they scarper while bickering about who gets to drive, despite the way they're chained.
There's some random playing card themed villain in their car - oh wait, a random homophobic playing card themed villain in their car... why is everyone so focused on Piper's sex life? I know I'm not the loudest champion for LBTQ et al rights but damn, I don't want to know about anyone's sex life to be honest. Plus it's a bit rich of everyone to keep bagging our Piper while they're wearing such ridiculous outfits. I mean, if they really hated everything stereo-typically gay, why did they paint the rainbow on their own outfit?
Speaking of getting a bit queer, Jimmy Olsen has somehow managed to split into an angry giant version of himself and an orange version of Plastic Man while trapped in the Cadmus booth. Then he decides the best way to help himself is to get out of the room, while leaving the angry version of himself and also the bill for wrecking the Cadmus guards. Oopsie.
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| And he is NOT, I repeat NOT floating in Clayface there! |
Now Donna and her ever increasing gang arrive on Earth 15's Gotham City where Jason Todd is getting upset about being near a Joker wannabe and also about Bob being useless.
He makes a point about Bob, but I have to wonder what's going through the Jokester's mind when he says he's sorry that apparently an alternate version of himself that he was completely unaware of killed the guy who's standing in front of him and who also appears completely alive.
They briefly put aside their issues when the Batman and co of this earth arrive and start new beef. Well, politer beef than the Crime Society, but that's to be expected.
As well as doing the usual opposite-me discussion, they all calmly note their similarities. I did notice Wonder Woman using her lasso without warning/permission which is a bit unlike her. Also, now that I think about it, why are all these people in Gotham?
Like, Batman makes sense. But Wonder Woman, Green Lantern and Atom? They normally reside somewhere else. So you wonder if they're here for convenience or if they really live there in this earth.
I really like Jokester's quips here and the little nuggets about Jason recognising himself under the Bat-mask and not Brucie. I do however note that Jason - a skilled acrobat and thief even as a child - turned superhero but still did 'adult' things like swearing and smoking - has A LOT of issues when it's young girls doing things out of their usual age range.
I mean, the wizard thing made sense, because when you picture a wizard, it's normally a crazy old guy with a super long beard and gnarled stick with a knob on the end and not a young alien girl but here.. if he's not going to question any of the male Atoms, why is he picking on Jessica Palmer?
Plus, she's like his height and has boobs yet Jason calls her a twelve year old?
It's like he WANTS to get beaten up wherever he goes. This time, beaten up literally by himself.
Earth 15 Wonder Woman takes Donna aside to tell her some mythological story about Zeus swallowing his wife who was carrying his son, but then that hurt his feelings so someone cut his head open and Athena popped out and Zeus was like 'Yo, here's the secret location of my lightning bolts and magic shield.'
She had a point to the story about not conforming to people's expectations but took the long, long, confusing way to it and now I have no idea what's going on but it seems to comfort Donna... or confuse her too. Wow, what is happening?
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| Thanks for the pep talk? I think? |
Donna was saying how this Earth was like looking into a mirror where all your dreams had come true. Maybe reading too much of Harry Potter but that's okay. I mean, this world has a CLEAN Gotham City, a less grumpy Batman, a Superman that's not needed, their Joker is dead...
Seems pretty good.
Plus this part was pretty sweet.
Until those idiot red guys show up. Urgh, go away already!
Now I feel like a vacation after all of this travel porn! Ahh, here we go. A nice, Athenian Women's Shelter retreat. What could possibleh go wrong?
Well....
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| Would you like Megalodons with that? |
Yep. Next part of training involved getting into the water and swimming (in battle armour) along the mega sharks to get to the shore. Holly has literally just finished saying that anyone who jumps in there would be insane when this happens...
Have I mentioned how much I love classic Harley Quinn?
Holly begrudgingly follows soon enough but asks for a blessing or advice from Athena before doing so. Athena tells her to aim for the eyes... however the giant sharks do not actually have eyes.
The Short End of the Jester Schtick
As you may have guessed, I skipped over the Monitor parts quite a bit because they are quite tedious. Also when they 'appeared' on Earth 15 and not one of the heroes noticed? I mean, they were invisible but since when can Superman/Wonder Woman not notice things not of this world? That part was stupid. And why even have monitors if they're just going to appear on the worlds anyway? Gah.
Harley was a constant delight in this series even though she's not really in any major role. I think she works best as someone off to the side though. Gives her more free reign, ironically. Holly was a constant source of irritation though. Man, what a miserable sod. She came across as so up herself - and at times downright rude about the shelter itself (was especially not fond of the 'battered housewives' battle royale. She can't even say royale right.) She's not wrong to question Athena and I'd probably be that brash if I was in that situation but she's honestly just terrible. If she wasn't partnered with Harley, I'd skip all of her parts. As it turns out, Harley is a great partner to team Holly up with.
It feels like they're draggin Jimmy Olsen's saga out quite a bit, and the same with Karate Kid. Now, Karate Kid being part of the Great Disaster - I can understand. Why is Jimmy taking ten million years to do anything? Is he even still going to work? Like, what?
Mary Marvel's arc is somewhat speeding up which is great because she was the Jimmy Olsen of the last Countdown shite post. Still annoyed that there's not little editor notes sprinkled around so you can follow the side stories and tie ins should you wish.
As always Pied Piper and Trickster are good, but their part is toned down a lot in these issues.
Oracle: Did the all expensive keep-you-out hardware not clue you in? I WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE!
Bob: We're travelling through subquantum space, Jason Todd. My energy field is protecting you from it's effects, which would include going insane from witnessing it.
Jason: Good to know.
Penguin: This is an explosion-free establishment, miss!
Batwoman: Save the witty banter... You'll need it for the jury.
Trickster: Like this town needs another Bat motif...
Pied Piper: Please shut up.
Question: These guys can go. The puppets convinced me. They're too stupid to be murderers.
Karate Kid: I feel like a zuunburger in a wrap in this thing...
Oracle: You've mentioned, a few dozen times, Karate Kid. Now shut up and stay still, or we'll have to start all over again.
Jason Todd: I still don't believe she was a wizard. Wizards aren't little girls.
Pied Piper: Poison Ivy! What were the odds we'd--
Trickster: This is Gotham! You can't swing a dead sidekick here without hitting a super-villain!
Jason Todd: Hey, Bob, if we already know Ray Palmer's not in this subatomic world.... ....then why the hell are we sticking around?!
Pied Piper: Smart move, Ivy.
Poison Ivy: You're not out of the woods yet.
Ryan Choi: The crazy magic lady stopped my belt from working! I'm stuck!
Jason Todd: Don't worry, Ryan. She seems like a perfectly reasonable person.
Jimmy Olsen: Great. Now I'm all alone and in the dark.
Superman: Not at all, Jimmy... you just have an ice pack on your face.
Holly: I mean... I thought this was a 'purification ritual'?
Shelter staff: Yes. We are applying your ceremonial gear.
Holly: Seriously -- you know this is battle armour, right?
Shelter staff: Nonsense. Now let's get you in your purification helmet.
Holly: Um... I couldn't help but notice you're holding a trident?
Woman: Y-yeah.
Holly: Okay. Just seeing if you knew that.
Holly: Where have I seen this before? Was it in a movie? Maybe it was in a movie.... Oh, yeah. I hated this movie.
Trickster: Some day, I don't know how, but some day soon, I'm going to pay Deathstroke back for this.
Pied Piper: Trickster, just be happy we're still alive and have all of our appendages.
Trickster: You be happy. Me, I'm pissed.
Jason Todd: Every witch with a creepy voice and magic powers wants a shot at conquering the universe.
Klarion: My name is Klarion and this is Teekl. We're from Limbo Town, home to the lost population of Roanoke. I'm a witchboy.
Mary Marvel: Good for you. I'm Mary Marvel.
Steel: Cover your eyes, Olsen, and pray I don't kill you!
Jimmy Olsen: Wait.... What? Kill me?!?! No! No! Pick another plan!
Trickster: What the hell....? Where's Zatanna and the others with all your mindwipe doohickeys?
Flash: We don't do that anymore. Besides, in your case you'd need a mind to wipe.
Bob: It is good you join us, Kyle Rayner.... My people have marked you for elimination as well.
Jason Todd: Wouldn't be the worst idea...
Donna Troy: Are you okay with this?
Jason Todd: Sure. Multiverse, nanoverse, what difference does it make?
Donna Troy: I mean with Kyle. Because --
Jason Todd: I've got no problem with Kyle. He's great. He's dreamy.
Pied Piper: You sucker-punched me, you sonovaWHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!
Pied Piper: Can we at least order room service?
Flash: No booze and nothing over ten bucks.
Trickster: Now we just have to boost a car before the Mummy wakes up.
Pied Piper: At what point did my life turn completely insane...?
Big Barda: Tonight would have been much more amusing if we'd done what I suggested.
Hawkgirl: And that would be...?
Big Barda: Hunting Zerellian Razor-apes.
Pied Piper: "I went to Black Canary's bachelorette party, and all I got was this lousy Porsche."
Jimmy Olsen: Okay, I know you're scientists and all? But I'm pretty sure this thing is not whatever you think it is.
Mr. Cannon: Relax, Jimmy. That's just how the ambient nuclear spectrograph warms up.
Jimmy Olsen: Okay.... well, do you think we could at least have someone other than Doogette Howser there run the test?
Serling Roquette: Really, Mr. Olsen, no one likes a dated pop culture reference. And to think, up 'til now I was developing a massive girl crush on you.
Serling Roquette: Just kick back and, as Mr. Cannon here so eloquently put it, relax. Let the Ambient Nuclear Ultra Spectrograph do it's thing.
Jimmy Olsen: Why don't you just use an acronym?
Serling Roquette: You think about that.
Jimmy Olsen: I can pay for this...
Mr. Cannon: Those guards are three million a piece!
Jimmy Olsen: Wow! Okay, I can't really pay for it on my salary, but I am truly sorry!
Earth 15 Batman: I tend to judge people by the company they keep, and let me tell you.... Not a big fan of clowns.
Earth 15 Batman: You're supposed to be dead!
Jokester: I got better?
Kyle Rayner: So your Batman is paranoid, too. There's a shocker. I wonder if we'll ever meet happy fun-time Batman.
Kyle Rayner: Are you telling me that this earth has a Superman and doesn't even need him?
Zod: Thanks to your counterparts, I haven't been needed in some time.
Kyle Rayner: Now I really do feel like the evil twin.
Jason Todd: All right, ladies, Bob's getting jittery and if I hear him say the words Great Disaster one more time.... I'm going to kill him and we'll be stuck here.
Holly: Oh no... anyone who would jump in there is insane.
Harley: COWABUNGA!
Holly: aaaaannnd there goes lunatic Harley Quinn to prove my point.
Bonus Panels!
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| Speaking with Hassan! |
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