Suicide Squad New 52 # 18 - Harley Quinn branches out and Red Orchid pays the price!

"Death Blooms"
May 2013

Yeah, it's going to be one of THOSE issues, doing plant jokes to death. You would have thought that Harley had heard them all before... but then again they haven't even explained if her friendship with Poison Ivy survived the reboot. Probably not, like her on again off again immunity and her being so independent now in her new origins. Well, independent if you look past the fact that she literally has no agency in her own conception anymore or any female friends but hey!

Instead we have this... wait, what is she doing? Is she casually sitting on Red Orchid? Okay and her gentle cupping of Orchy's face is enough to render her powerless? Maybe Orchy's eyes are bugging out in fear of Harley's distinct lack of eyeballs. Wait, why are her feet so elongated? Why does she always lose her belt for these covers? Why is there such wasted potential in Orchy's plant hands?

WHY DO THESE COVERS TORMENT ME SO???


Anyway, where we last left these punks Harley was poisoned (although she's turned back to her ordinary dead clown whites now) and appears to be convulsing. Or showing off her boobs better, one of those. Yo-Yo was like any dude in this situation - thinking "oh no, my sister's killing my friends again!" Deadshot was also poisoned, but he's totally fine. King Shark and Voltaic are also there.

 Now, I can't decide which one I like more... Deadshot's choking face which makes it look like he's actually laughing and trying to get off panel so he can hide it, or Regulus and his ultra jerk smirk. Still not a huge fan of Red Orchid's bug eyes and insect arm eyebrows.


Shit, Digimon did better plant people than this. Although, for once DC didn't make a female character's boobs hang out 24/7. Hmm.... we have a conundrum.

(EDIT: I asked my husband what he thought Deadshot's expression meant and he said that he thought King Shark was giving him a bit of the backside rumpy pumpy. Now that's all I can see, making me wonder if Deadshot's 'joke' about kissing King Shark was actually a joke, and all those times he said he didn't care about King Shark... was it all a ruse for a secret romance?!)

DC Collectables Harley Quinn Red, White and Black Statue by Guillem March

So this DC Collectables Harley Quinn Red, White and Black Statue by Guillem March popped up in my emails today. I admit, when I saw it I was like oh no! Not another one!

Honestly, sometimes I think DC is staying afloat on Harley Quinn merchandise alone - which is probably why there seem to be more Red, White and Black collectables for Harley then there are Black and Whites for Batman. Or... you know.. any other character they have in their arsenal.

It sucks because we're seriously cutting down on the Harley Quinn merch. If it's not something extremely awesome or something we've been chasing down since the early 2000's then we aren't going to be bothered.

Anyway, this statue seems pretty cool. Let's check it out.

Joker's Asylum II: Harley Quinn

"The most important day of the year"
August 2010
Writer: James Patrick
Art: Joe Quinones
Colours: Alex Sinclair

Here's one of my favourite comics to wash the taste of the last review out of my mouth.

Now, I love Quinones art when it comes to Harley Quinn. Maybe it's the similar surname, but he just seems to GET her. A lot more than any squad working on any Harley solo's since her original run.
The interior artwork and all the expressions are just ace. The cover's nice too. A very powerful, somewhat provocative stance (without being exploitative) but damn, look at how much detail there is on the scene. The messed up door and the smoking gun with blood on it, the light hitting Harley from below and casting Batman's shadow... just great.

Being Joker's Asylum, we open with Joker introducing the tale, a la Tales of the Crypt while in a plush chair, a dressing gown and holding a puppy. Our first shot of Harley is her bare feet showing out of her Arkham oranges while she's running down the hall and deftly evading guards and fail-safes. We don't get a good look at her face until she stops at a cliff.

Props to Arkham staff - they really tried. They pulled out every move in a rare attempt at being efficient. I wish they tried this shit whenever Joker feels the need to escape because there's no way he'd make this at all.

Now we see her face, Dr. Arkham desperately tries to understand what has motivated Harley to do this right now of all times but we all know what would make Harley do anything criminal, don't we?

Yep, the siren song of her obsession, her Puddin' and her devotion to him means that even though she could have been out, free and clear if she'd just waited a few weeks but now she's going to be on the lam with Batman and the cops and everyone hunting for her. She can't though, because she wants to be with her beloved cohort on Valentine's Day.






This is the classic Harley we know - the one that would jump off a damn cliff after baking cookies to be with someone that doesn't actually love her.
She arrives at an abandoned YMCA which was their hideout... apparently? I'm not sure what's sadder, the fact that there are several young men who will not be able to use the YMCA services anymore or that the hideout doesn't even have a proper pool.
She meets the one surviving but severely wounded hench man Spider who tells us why Joker's not there himself.

Harley is ticked off that Falcone has taken Joker on today of all days but she's already got a plan and is preparing for when she gets back with her beau.

Splat! Promotional Comic: Suicide Blonde - The Suicide Squad prequel

2016
Writer: Tony Bedard
Pencils: Tom Derenick
Inks: Juan Albarran

So here's a review of a promotional comic that DC did alongside Splat!. Splat! is a hair dye brand. Seems like a match made in heaven given Harley's recent.. infatuation with.. changing her hair colour every five minutes. I recall Splat! advertisements in some of my older comics so they've probably been close to the superhero and pop culture scene for a while.

Let's have a look.

Urrrrggggghhh. First page is a full spread of Harley Quinn in her cell at Belle Reve. Do you remember the trailers for Suicide Squad, and the scenes in the movie where she does her little acrobatic act half naked before she gets all Miley Cyrus with licking things, then she head butts her cell because she's frustrated about her sleeping conditions? Well here's more of that! And still no-one questioning why she's essentially making a noose in her cell and giving herself dodgy prison tatts.

Waller comes past and she forces Harley to reminisce on being outside, in the fresh air and sunlight... so, money on the table, I'm shocked didn't include Harley receiving sunburn harder than any given ginger. Oh, my apologies she said nightlife.

I first looked at this and I was like.. what the hell is this? Then I remembered, Suicide Squad Harley Quinn and Joker are #relationshipgoals! Yeah! The one thing I wish my relationships had more of are stereotypical conversations about the girl not being ready fast enough while the girl imagines how a red drape would work on her as a dress. Then the boy can stand around and front about being so gangsta while constantly checking his watch. Yes... relationship goals. Sure..

See, that's the thing about the whole 'gangsta' Joker - he has to have a moll and be seen on the social scene instead of being the classic villain we know that just goes out and does crime that he's planned out meticulously or perhaps made up on the fly because he thought of something funny...
he wouldn't really care if Harley was there or not.

Countdown 51-40

Now that we've been going back into the Detective Comics showing Harley hanging out with Holly at the Amazon shelters, it's high time we went back and had a look at Countdown. Countdown was another multi-comic event spanning 52 weeks but good luck finding a good synopsis for that amongst the hits you'll get for the New 52 comics.

Back in the day, I pretty much just collected the issues that Harley Quinn appeared in, comprehensive storyline be damned! I ended up buying the trades though because I thought the story was pretty cool and there were some interesting things going on, and for once the holy DC Trinity wasn't hogging all the spotlight. Which is kind of the point of the 52 Countdown... but anyway.

May 2007 - April 2008
AKA Countdown to Final Crisis

Synopsis:

The Great Disaster has occurred, and all hell breaks loose as all the story lines in COUNTDOWN TO FINAL CRISIS come to a climax, threatening Darkseid and Jimmy Olsen and Mary Marvel and the future of their Earth!

So we'll dip our toes in, running through the series but mostly looking at Harley Quinn's involvement because... well, it's a Harley Quinn blog you nitwit. Get with the program. I'll do a couple of issues per post. 

This one opens with Darkseid discussing depressing world views with Desaad and playing chess with  himself, figures of DC characters and apparently no rules. Fun analogy or sneaky advertising for merchandise? You decide! 

The first chess piece he moves is Duela Dent - AKA The Joker's Daughter. Her story was a big part of what I found interesting about this series and another reason why I was so disappointed with what the actual New 52 chose to do with her character. 

Here she is, appearing in 'flames' and honing in on her target, a young celebrity. After jumping out the window amidst explosions she tells Tracey to call her manager in order to fund Duela with some nonsequential greens or else she might just drop Tracey as they parachute over the city. 

Duela is cool, collected and slightly sassy. Jason Todd/Red Hood shoots a hole in her parachute and she has no hesitations about dropping Tracey to lighten the load but at least she does it politely. 

Naturally Jason stops her and saves Tracey. They get into a discussion about who belongs where in the grand scheme of things and how cool foreshadowing is, then Duela name drops some people before running off. 

Meanwhile we pop into the hospital where a powerless Mary Batson nee Marvel is leaving. She finds out Billy Batson has paid her medical costs and left her a note saying not to find him, which I guess is like a health care one night stand, so she's a little cut. 

Heatwave is regretting not installing a peep hole in his door but lets Trickster in anyway. He suspects the pretzels are booby trapped so he destroys them but it was in fact the beer. So now there's no beer and no pretzels. Not a good start to a party. Plus Heatwave's pants are ruined!

Suicide Squad New 52 #17 Twisted Up By The Red Orchid

April 2013

Oh my gosh that cover though.. I like the tree hands, that is cool but what is even happening with Harley Quinn? She looks a bit like someone made a paper mache version of her as she appears in the New52 Suicide Squad but then went and put Barbie doll clothes on her that don't fit as expected..

Well to be fair that costume never seems to fit her anyway but what I'm getting at is that this cover Harley looks quite a bit munted. As well as that, Red Orchid looks pretty docile and expressionless for someone 'twisting up' an entire Squad. I don't even get the name... have you seen orchids before? They're the most ornamental things ever, beautiful as they are. I guess you have to get in early to get all the good plant villain personas.

The comic itself jumps us into Chinatown where Harley, Deadshot, Yo-Yo, Voltaic and King Shark are busy doing full head shots and what's supposed to be witty battle banter. Yo-Yo makes a weird comparison between King Shark and Chris Rock. I didn't get it then and I don't get it now. It just seems like someone told the writers to chuck in a random pop culture reference. I don't think Chris Rock even did much in 2013 to be thrown in there as a one liner... did he?

The mysteries of the New52. Will we ever truly understand what drugs they were on? Mmmm....no.
Could be the same drugs that made them think that these dipshits could annihilate a bunch of Shaolin style gang members. Deadshot mistakes them for Japanese Samurais directly after referring to Chinatown in Cantonese.. but he's really not doing so well on the cultural knowledge front for a world travelling assassin is he?

DC You - Batman: Prelude to the Wedding.. Harley Quinn vs Joker

Well naturally, Marvel just had the last few weddings of the century so here's DC's attempt at competing again.

June 2018
Till Death Do Us Part
Writer: Tim Seeley
Artist: Sami Basri
Colours: Jessica Kholinne
Cover: Rafael Albuqueque

Synopsis:

Harley Quinn knows a thing or two about dysfunctional relationships. When she hears that her old flame is trying to get in the way of a happy new life for one of her best friends, the Maid of Mischief tracks The Joker down to give him a piece of her mind-and maybe a few blows from her hammer, too.

Does anyone remember the first time Catwoman got all dolled up in a wedding dress? I remember the first times I saw her in one and it was well before the Cat and the Bat romance got off the ground. 

True, this one wasn't real but it was awesome seeing a mix of villains and heroes at the ceremony and then fighting over the bouquet.. then Catwoman realising that Batman wasn't ever going to truly run away with her while crime exists in Gotham and woke up pissed.

This one was an attempted wedding, where someone tried to domesticate Catwoman and she put a damn stop to it you betcha bucko. 

Oh, I miss how she used to call people bucko. 

As a young girl I would look at these and have no doubt that this was how my wedding would be. Now I AM married I'm glad it didn't. It's a shame I couldn't rock a catsuit under my shredded dress but I feel that a rogue bunch of commandos scaling the cathedral and shooting it up would have put the whole night out of my budget for sure. 

Anyway, now we're milking the Catwoman and Batman semi-romance for all it's worth and that means finding some way to tie in Harley Quinn and Joker.