Now here's a comic I haven't wanted to poke with a finglonger in a very very long time but seeing as how it's their last bow from mediocre comics (at least for now) I thought I'd see them out.
You know, mock them, hold the door for 'em, kick 'em on the way out?
Starting with the covers. Man, I get that they're hyping this whole world shaking death thing (did anyone NOT guess it was going to be Mason? Honestly curious about that.) but I literally cannot take Hardly seriously here.
For one thing, that hideous make-up running down her face and for wearing go go pants to a freakin' graveyard.
Shit, she even had a funeral corset in Suicide Squad New52 and spent half of Arkham City/Harley's Revenge with crying face mascara and she looked ten times more respectable than this! The other cover.... meh. It's drawn well (and therefore probably doesn't belong anywhere near this comic) but come on, how many memes of Harley Quinn have you seen like this? Nathan kinda looks like some rabid turd one of the hyenas shat out but it's one of his better looks.
Now this panel comes right after the Mayor literally tells them to off Hardly Quinn and Harley Sinn. He tells them to dump them somewhere, anywhere. Seriously. And one of the thugs actually goes along with the whole - "no, don't shoot my face because it'll upset my parents!" bit.
What - you think you're gonna get an open casket funeral instead of being dropped in a ditch somewhere? Idiot.
Firstly - that face ain't worth savin' sweetheart. Secondly - are they seriously dumb enough to shoot at Hardly's collar?
I was already rolling my eyes at the classic Bond villain 'leave the bad guy alone because they're totally going to die like, I'm 99% sure of it this time I think' routine, but this takes the cake.
Especially when everyone knows Hardly's not going to die. I mean come on, her neck isn't even damaged and they're like 'yeah, better not double check she's dead. I'm sure it's fine.'
This whole comic so far is just a montage of girls being hit in the face. Which I'm guessing is supposed to be all "oh no, they're in a terrible situation" but comes off more like a very specific fetish. So of course, Hardly 'comes back to life' and no one notices her dramatic reveal until it's much too late.
So Hardly and her perfect pigtails despite being slapped around more than a pimp's glove and Sinn who seems fine despite having a broken leg or something like that find a goon who bends over more to accommodate than your average river spanning bridge.
Don't worry, before Hardly takes the super convenient trip to kill the Mayor, she'll explain how she outwitted a bullet!
Besides... don't every single Suicide Squad exposition about the bombs indicate that they're in the back of the neck, not conveniently placed to the side of the neck in case some dope tries to shoot you in that sweet spot?
Sinn gives us the obligatory 'repeat threatening thing the guy said back to the guy now the tables have turned' cliche and Hardly runs away to use her phone while driving, block traffic and throw up on the highway. Gosh, what an asshole. Also, more cliches. A Cliche avalanche.
Wait, what? I'm supposed to feel sorry for her? She of the 'I've killed all of these people and I don't care' attitude? She of the 'dated Mason once, then sidelined him in favour of everyone else she's banging, she then got him in the shit and ended up getting him kidnapped where she then forgot about that being a thing until someone else brought them back and then she ended up ordering him around like a slave?' The fuck is this shit?
Mayor does rich white guy stuff until they remember they're not safe and he's got his entire elbow in his dinner. Obligatory bad guy and bad sidekick break up cliche.
Whew, we almost went a page without another cliche! Luckily Red Tool - oh, I mean a completely different person who obviously just totally killed Hardly Quinn - appears in time to fake shoot her and lure this stupid Mayor out.
Again - called this from a mile away. And is the Mayor so stupid to leave the security room immediately? After Hardly has just literally faked her death AGAIN? They literally just talked about her not being dead when they expect her to be a few moments before. Am I saying literally too much here? It's just that this comic is LITERALLY STUPID.
I tell ya, if I ran the world I sure as shit wouldn't fall for any of these embarrassingly dumb tricks.
Also I'd do the creepy things better. Hardly actually strips the mayor and puts him in his jammies and tucks him in? Then just stands over him until morning. Did we all just get to sidestep the whole I'm calling in all the dirty cops business?
Anyway - here's the only way this cliche filled comic surprised me - Hardly Quinn handing over the reins to violence to someone else.
I wish I could say the art surprised me too but hey, we're lucky we get this kind of quality art work that somehow passes the editorial process entirely.
"Yeah yeah, don't worry about putting Hardly's body in perspective or anything as long as she's got her Rudolph coloured cocaine sniffer intact."
Oh great, it's a another cliche before the end - the solemn walk out through all the destruction while cradling a dead body and presumably leaving the city unprotected from anything because all the cops are dead and if any aren't, they'll presumably head on over and arrest Madam Macabre because she's the only one alive in this blood bath.
Ahhh.... the gritty gangster lifestyle of Hardly Quinn. That's... apparently what I just read.
You know, mock them, hold the door for 'em, kick 'em on the way out?
Starting with the covers. Man, I get that they're hyping this whole world shaking death thing (did anyone NOT guess it was going to be Mason? Honestly curious about that.) but I literally cannot take Hardly seriously here.For one thing, that hideous make-up running down her face and for wearing go go pants to a freakin' graveyard.
Shit, she even had a funeral corset in Suicide Squad New52 and spent half of Arkham City/Harley's Revenge with crying face mascara and she looked ten times more respectable than this! The other cover.... meh. It's drawn well (and therefore probably doesn't belong anywhere near this comic) but come on, how many memes of Harley Quinn have you seen like this? Nathan kinda looks like some rabid turd one of the hyenas shat out but it's one of his better looks.
Now this panel comes right after the Mayor literally tells them to off Hardly Quinn and Harley Sinn. He tells them to dump them somewhere, anywhere. Seriously. And one of the thugs actually goes along with the whole - "no, don't shoot my face because it'll upset my parents!" bit.
What - you think you're gonna get an open casket funeral instead of being dropped in a ditch somewhere? Idiot.
Firstly - that face ain't worth savin' sweetheart. Secondly - are they seriously dumb enough to shoot at Hardly's collar?
I was already rolling my eyes at the classic Bond villain 'leave the bad guy alone because they're totally going to die like, I'm 99% sure of it this time I think' routine, but this takes the cake.
Especially when everyone knows Hardly's not going to die. I mean come on, her neck isn't even damaged and they're like 'yeah, better not double check she's dead. I'm sure it's fine.'
This whole comic so far is just a montage of girls being hit in the face. Which I'm guessing is supposed to be all "oh no, they're in a terrible situation" but comes off more like a very specific fetish. So of course, Hardly 'comes back to life' and no one notices her dramatic reveal until it's much too late.
So Hardly and her perfect pigtails despite being slapped around more than a pimp's glove and Sinn who seems fine despite having a broken leg or something like that find a goon who bends over more to accommodate than your average river spanning bridge.
Don't worry, before Hardly takes the super convenient trip to kill the Mayor, she'll explain how she outwitted a bullet!
 |
| What the writers thought was grade A detective explanations |
 |
| What I saw |
Besides... don't every single Suicide Squad exposition about the bombs indicate that they're in the back of the neck, not conveniently placed to the side of the neck in case some dope tries to shoot you in that sweet spot?
Sinn gives us the obligatory 'repeat threatening thing the guy said back to the guy now the tables have turned' cliche and Hardly runs away to use her phone while driving, block traffic and throw up on the highway. Gosh, what an asshole. Also, more cliches. A Cliche avalanche.
Wait, what? I'm supposed to feel sorry for her? She of the 'I've killed all of these people and I don't care' attitude? She of the 'dated Mason once, then sidelined him in favour of everyone else she's banging, she then got him in the shit and ended up getting him kidnapped where she then forgot about that being a thing until someone else brought them back and then she ended up ordering him around like a slave?' The fuck is this shit?
Mayor does rich white guy stuff until they remember they're not safe and he's got his entire elbow in his dinner. Obligatory bad guy and bad sidekick break up cliche.
Whew, we almost went a page without another cliche! Luckily Red Tool - oh, I mean a completely different person who obviously just totally killed Hardly Quinn - appears in time to fake shoot her and lure this stupid Mayor out.
Again - called this from a mile away. And is the Mayor so stupid to leave the security room immediately? After Hardly has just literally faked her death AGAIN? They literally just talked about her not being dead when they expect her to be a few moments before. Am I saying literally too much here? It's just that this comic is LITERALLY STUPID.
I tell ya, if I ran the world I sure as shit wouldn't fall for any of these embarrassingly dumb tricks.
Also I'd do the creepy things better. Hardly actually strips the mayor and puts him in his jammies and tucks him in? Then just stands over him until morning. Did we all just get to sidestep the whole I'm calling in all the dirty cops business?Anyway - here's the only way this cliche filled comic surprised me - Hardly Quinn handing over the reins to violence to someone else.
I wish I could say the art surprised me too but hey, we're lucky we get this kind of quality art work that somehow passes the editorial process entirely.
"Yeah yeah, don't worry about putting Hardly's body in perspective or anything as long as she's got her Rudolph coloured cocaine sniffer intact."
Oh great, it's a another cliche before the end - the solemn walk out through all the destruction while cradling a dead body and presumably leaving the city unprotected from anything because all the cops are dead and if any aren't, they'll presumably head on over and arrest Madam Macabre because she's the only one alive in this blood bath.
Ahhh.... the gritty gangster lifestyle of Hardly Quinn. That's... apparently what I just read.
The Short End of the Jester Schtick
Okay, well, that was like watching a bad 90's action movie about slow motion car crashes.
It kind of pains me to say that I prefer this Hardly played straight instead of her manic pixie white corpse thing but she's still annoying as all hell.
This is like the Punisher but gone wrong. Punisher grieves for his lost family, THEN he goes on a revenge rampage. Hardly Quinn was already rampaging and killing pretty much everyone anyway without any reason usually, and now we're supposed to feel bad for her because she lost one dude that she never really seemed to care for anyway, and it was all because she kept pushing her red nose into places it didn't belong. (Seriously, what is with her nose, it is messed up beyond all belief!)
Gallery of the Hypocrite Killer
If you wrong me, no matter how slight - I'mma kill you. If I wrong you, you're an idiot for not getting over it and should die. I'm an empowered female caricature!
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| An 'oh so cool and badass' moment that glosses over the fact that she let some passerby's get shot and caused probably a few deaths in the car crash behind her but.. um... vote Hardly! |
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| These guys stole a bin, so they signed their own death warrant |
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| These guys play better derby so they deserve to be run over |
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| Better kill this comatose guy because he's like totally evil and all I have is the word of this other random old man.. shortly after I almost killed a family because I took their Alzheimer-riddled grandma's word that they never visited when they did. Clearly needs no further looking into! |
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| These guys were drugged by some weird shit Ivy left behind, yeah they better die too. |
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