Heroes in Crisis #3

Well, I just read the Harley Quinn Christmas issue and boy am I struggling with it. Just... not ready to process that mess just yet. Time for some therapy! Let's head on back to the sanctuary....

This first cover looks cool and the second cover isn't the best but it does recall that awesome moment when Wonder Woman killed Maxwell Lord for being an absolute dick.

..... What? I'm on Wonder Woman's side. A dilemma that would have caused several other characters to drag out the decision was solved in a snap of his jerk neck. Something Batman could probably learn from to be honest. And we all know it wasn't a decision she made easily or wanted to do, but it was the only way to protect thousands from a mind - controlled, violent Superman.


Now feedback on this series so far has been a bit mixed, I've seen a lot of negative remarks about Harley Quinn being over powered - more on that later! - and concerns about delving into superhero psychology. Now sure, no-one wants to see their favourite heroes comatose out of anxieties but you can't also deny that the work they do would lead to some major anxieties.

So far I'm tentatively enjoying the series, especially with scenes like this.

Here's three heroes in varying degrees of stays in the Sanctuary. Lagoon Boy has been here the longest - he has physical reactions he doesn't expect and can't control - he tries to brag about being master of the lagoon but it's overshadowed by his nervousness.

Next is Wally West. He's only been here a few weeks so he's still full of brags about being the fastest man alive... even though there's like ten fastest men alive (not counting the women) and I picture all of these fast, fast men whispering to themselves that they're the fastest, just so they can sleep at night. It does enforce one thing though - keeping a speedster in one place for two and a half weeks is a feat.

Last is Booster Gold. Now, he's known for his ego even though he's more of a B-lister generally speaking, so his speech isn't out of place. It does provide a comparison to the others though.





Or does it?

DC Universe Harley Quinn #54

The main cover isn't horrible.. but it does kinda defeat the purpose of the last issue being spent on ruining Harley's faux-Youtube career. Variant cover.. yeah, it's nice but apart from making me think they ran out of time to finish the colouring in, it gets me rolling my eyes at the 'pumpkin spice' mallet.

I live in Australia, where the only pumpkin flavoured things are our pumpkins, pumpkin scones, pumpkin soup and so forth. One time, I saw a pumpkin spice body spray and in the more American themed coffee shops they do a random pumpkin flavoured thing but it's not very big here. Still, you get the memes about everything being pumpkin-this or pumpkin-that that the mallet being named pumpkin spice is kinda cringey.



Anyway, back to this comic about people (apparently everyone everywhere including Martian G-D Manhunter!! Is it THAT boring in the Watchtower???) watching online videos.
Yep. Groundbreaking stuff alright.

Minor Disaster switched Harley's delete and upload video, so now Harley is ugly-crying in an alley being filmed by said Minor Disaster.

Told ya. 

Harley gets mad, and forgets to use English correctly.

"Ain't nobody with a loser name like Minor Disaster can bring me down low!" she yells, defiant of the fact that she just used a double negative and also that she has an appropriate villain name and has just called the kettle black.

Then she gets super mad about being called a lame Joker rip-off, but I mean you can't deny that, especially if you're keeping the skin bleach.

DC Universe Harley Quinn #53

Well again with the serial comic posting.. I feel like every time I'm on here I'm looking at these instead of reviewing anything else Harley Related. This issue though..

I was actually enjoying the last two issues but this one is something else, but like, not in a good way.

First cover gives a good indication of what the story's about but I think it could have done without the speech bubble. Get it? What's better than seeing your parents naked or letting out a small fart? Why, increasing your chances of getting shot by playing Russian Roulette! Second cover... looks really familiar. Wasn't there already a cover out very similar to this? Running out of ideas, mayhaps?




Alright so it kicks off in some random school room where everyone stops everything because some kid's phone goes off. Teacher confiscates it but there's an outcry.

Yeah! It could be something important, like the kid's parents calling in an emergency, teach! Don't be so uncool! .....Oh no, wait, it's just some jerk off live-streaming.

Heroes in Crisis #2

After what seems like a year we finally have issue two and it could be more controversial than the previous issue, which actively killed off heroes.

How, you ask? Yes, well, we'll get into that.

In the meantime, relive Batman's eternal back pain Bane. You can almost hear him screaming at the person taking the picture to get off their ass and help him. Well, classic Harley did over to the left, but then there was the whole strangling thing, sooo....












Opening up with another therapy session - this time a joint venture with Poison Ivy - and then later Harley Quinn because we can't have another Gotham City Siren in the spotlight! Their scene is kinda cute, but they probably shouldn't have a red and black fourth wall breaker do the boop.

I mean, I don't believe Deadpool has the monopoly on the boop (especially if heckin' puppers are around getting startled) buuuut there are enough comparisons between the two already without making it super obvious that this is what DC is going for. 

DC Universe Harley Quinn #52

Wow, these things are coming out more regular than the average bowel movement. This was definitely an issue for me (ha, comic pun) under the previous management, this time around, it's not as poisonous but it's still.. does this comic need to come out this often? Is there something pressing that has to be said? Probably not, but there is money to be made I guess so this cash cow can't be confined to monthlies like the other slobs..

Anyway, again two covers. The first one - I love/hate it? Like, it's a cool image, I like the jacket, the style is nice..the hair looks good - different even...but then again it doesn't offer anything that we haven't seen before with the gum, the mallet, the blood splashes and facial tattoos (why?????). Happening more often now.. Harley is wearing Joker paraphernalia and sweet mother of mercy the OCD in me CANNOT handle that flipped jacket flap. 

The variant cover is it's usual visual treat.. but I'm getting a bit sick of the nostalgia shoved in my face.. taunting me with a better costume but mixed in with new crap like the fairy floss hair and showing us Bud and Lou -  that I will never forgive DC for killing off. Ever. Screw you, DC.
Also, damn Batman! Was that a headshot???



Issue starts off with a nice toned down flashback to 1943 - it kinda reminds me of the style they used in the Bombshell/Little Black Book issue but with much better art. Then it kills off Michael, who we learn is Lance's twin brother. Then  three witches... um, called The Three Witches (don't strain yourselves creatively or nothin') turn up and use Lance's suspicions of foul play to turn him into Captain Triumph - an avenging hero with his brother's soul bonded to him.



The flashback turns from generic comic book narration to comic character narration with Harley then managing to break the fourth wall, rip off Lobo, pass blame off to other people and insult Captain Triumph's backstory and him personally all in the time it takes her to get thrown out the window.

Suicide Squad: Hell to Pay #1

2018
Writer: Jeff Parker
Artist: Matthew Dow Smith
Colours: Tony Avina
Cover: Ryan Benjamin

Wow, look at that scene! Think it'll appear in this issue? Mmmmmm....... no.

My husband and brother weren't keen on this cover - calling Harley mongoloid looking, doubting if she could take on Bane and generally being dismissive of an obvious sell out cover featuring Harley.

True, she does not look her prettiest here but I don't mind that too much. I mean, it's a fight scene. Looks don't matter too much. I do question why Harley is fighting Bane of all people, why her corset is barely hanging on by the tiniest of threads, and yeah, why she's on the cover when she was barely in the movie this comic is based off.

Yes, this is a sequel to the animated movie Suicide Squad: Hell to Pay - even though the comic came out just before the release of the DCD/Blu-ray for some reason. Didn't a similar thing happen with the Batman and Harley Quinn movie? Well, at least this movie was better than that one.

Anyway, after procuring the 'Get out of Hell Free' card, Waller wants to check it's authenticity so she goes to speak with Jason Blood AKA Etrigan and Madame Xanadu... all the way followed by a mysterious Spectre. Heh heh... see what I did there? Subtlety. Yeah.. nailed it.

Neat trading card collection!

Harley and Ivy meet Betty and Veronica #6

Okay - I'll come clean. I totally forgot about this issue. This comic isn't terrible, per se (it's just got questionable perspective and the Freaky Friday thing is a bit over done) but it doesn't make much of an impression either.

So... here we are.

Now I do like the first cover with Ivy and Betty.. Veronica is a bit hit and miss but oh Harley. We get it. You like baseball bats and ridiculous jackets you can't wear properly.
Plus.. 'Riverdale Sucks' ?

Uh, yeah.. creative. You had a massive splash panel - pride of place, even - on the cover and youuuu wasted it with your petty crimes and cheap eye make-up. You could have at least sprayed a pun on the wall! The second cover is a bit.. interesting.

Everyone is so pointy, skinny and angular with weird feet and elbows that it took me a while to realise that the strange thing is supposed to be what they're DOING, not what they look like. I just can't see Ivy going ahead with another stupid, reckless idea like Harley trying to fly with bat arm decorations, and looking so calm at that too.


Now for those playing at home - the big question is... what's the best way to incapacitate these four women? Is it...





A) Loosely tying them back to back with a cell phone in one of their pockets?

B) Loosely tying one's arms behind her back and hoisting her up above the others in a huge pipe so she can wriggle free and wash off the de-powering defoliant in the convenient lake beneath her?

C) Vaguely and probably loosely tying one to some port-a-potties with a chainsaw within reach of herself and the two numbskulls tied back to back.. and within kicking distance of the idiot in the pipeline?

Or.......... D) All of the above?

Yeah - players at home, if you picked D) - you're right! You also kinda cheated because the pictures were there.. but seeing as how D) is also the wrong answer, we'll let this one even itself out.

Good gravy, did these bad guys go to the Scooby Doo School of Dodgy Villains or what?

DC Universe Harley Quinn #51

First things first, while I appreciate a retro cover like the first one here, I don't know what is going on with Harley's pose at all, she looks so out of place and wrong. Tiny Trump hands, her hips are apparently out of orbit with the rest of her and her face.. doesn't seem to match what she's saying. Now, even if she's talking sarcastically.. why does she look depressed?

Also.. why does she need a belt saying who she is when DC's new tag line for Harley is basically "YOU KNOW WHO SHE IS!"

The second cover is better, as usual. They're still putting her with Joker props though. To ship, or not to ship? That's what DC needs to ask themselves.


The art is sooooo much better in this series now. The writing... for me, it's yet to be amazing but it's already better than the last lot of idiots. That's partially why I'm doing another DCU review - because I can actually stomach this schlock now.

Starting off with an out of control vehicle - okay well the pedestrians it's veering towards are for the most part in continuity.. except when the older guy falls down and changes places with the blue jean boy - it's stopped by Captain Triumph who is immediately mistaken for nearly every other male superhero out there.

The older guy - demands to know who the hell this guy who saved him is. Well, I suppose that's the New Yorker in him coming out? Not 'Oh, thanks for saving my clumsy ass' but 'Wait... you're... who the hell ARE you?'

Ya know what would have been better? Having this guy - who's old enough to be in the demographic to remember this guy - remember this guy instead of having Captain Triumph do his hero spiel.

The Ten Worst Things Harley Quinn Has Ever Done!

On a similar note to the "Top Ten Worst Things That Happened To Harley Quinn" post, this time I'm going to have a look at "The Ten Worst Things Harley Quinn Has Ever Done!"

The title is unfortunate, I would have removed the 'Ever' part of it, seeing as how this video was posted back in April 2017, and the poster clearly underestimates how badly Harley can be written.
There are a lot of similar videos and posts out there too.

Let's get stuck in, shall we?

Plastic Man #3 - with Harley Quinn!

Under the Cover of Darkness
#3 of 6
Writer: Gail Simone
Artist: Adriana Melo
Oct 2018

I haven't exactly kept my finger on the DC pulse lately so I wasn't aware that Gail Simone was penning a 6 issue mini of Plastic Man..

Now, I like Plastic Man. He's one of those characters that could be sooo annoying if mishandled, but when done right he's a fantastic foil against the super serious super heroes he hangs around.

Plastic Man is a former criminal who turned to the good side but never lost his sense of humour. He's pretty civil to bad guys (offering to babysit Circe's daughter) Plus, he's not afraid to call out dickish behaviour when he sees it.

And with Gail Simone involved you just know it's gonna be good. 

Harley Quinn in DC Universe animated series - Kaley Cuoco

We now have the trailer for the Harley Quinn Animated Series... and it looks a lot better than what I was imagining.

Ugh.

What are they doing though? Purely hiring from The Big Bang Theory roster? That said, I liked Melissa Rauch's turn and I think Kaley Cuoco does a decent job too. It's perky, without being annoyingly squeaky. I definitely think we've had enough Tara Strong jobs.. besides, she's normally got a million other roles going on.

I am SUPER GLAD they did not actually get Maggot Robbutt for this. That would have been cringe city, especially now her shit version of Harley is confirmed to be stinking up at least two more DC films. DC is struggling enough with the film industry, Maggot!

Anyway, it'll be interesting to see what they're gonna do with the cartoon..
Harley taps the camera and addresses us through a fourth wall so not sure if she's gonna be doing that the whole time or if that's just for the trailer. Well, she addresses New York anyway. What else is there in the world? Nothing, apparently. Nothing. Depressing... but at least I'll have a bit more free time because we don't have the comic cons that matter.. *sheds single tear*

Harley is wearing her classic headpiece along with her Arkham Asylum oranges but she does have her white paint job, sadly. Bunking with Poison Ivy - who is thankfully more sarcastic and bull-shit calling here - tells Harley that the general populace will hate it because they hate everything. Ivy is also reading Mad Love, in their joint cell.

Behind her is a poster of an ab baring man with Joker's mugshot plastered over his head. 

They take pot shots at the gritty DCEU and Deadpool's animated series... Batman swings by to admonish them for having fun and Harley comments that she likes the new logo..



The only thing that didn't grab me was the swearing and advertising gratuitous violence.

Don't get me wrong, I love watching and doing both of those things, but when it's something you're advertising to get people interested... it's just a turn off. Like Maggot spitting out 'pussy' in the suicide Squad movie... she sounded so juvenile and like she was trying too hard. Is this series going to be the same thing?

Suicide Squad New52 #19

June 2013
"Red Rain"

Wow, a Suicide Squad cover that DOESN'T prominently feature Harley Quinn! This issue came out in June 2013 and I am still deeply shocked to this day.

Nevermind. 

Heroes in Crisis #1

There's been a lot of controversy over this particular comic so let's have a look at the first issue and see what the deal is, shall we?

Now this is only a nine part series so expect a lot of variant covers. This one issue has five, alone.

Some I get... some make sense with the comic and some are just... why is this here?

Anyway, the premise is about a Superhero Therapy Centre and the What Could Possibly Go Wrongs?


Harley Quinn and Booster Gold are the main features here, so hopefully they'll be written good because when done right, these two are good characters. Sadly, it does seem like Harley is just shoved in anywhere because she's making mad money for DC.

What the hell is this supposed to be?