DC Universe Harley Quinn #58

Standard cover here was to be expected - every time Harley catches up with Batman and ISN'T attacking him without provocation, she's trying to be a Robin of sorts. So, par for the course here. It's okay, but predictable and overdone. Variant cover is visually stunning... although riding a purple bike covered in Joker stamps and wearing a 'Puddin'' collar probably isn't the best way to spend the issue immediately after you spent a lot of time declaring yourself Joker-free.



Also, I feel like a good chunk of Japan just got stereotyped and hard. She also loses points for the shoes, not wearing a helmet, not looking where's she's going, presumably having other tattoos a la Suicide Squad, animal cruelty and for littering those playing cards everywhere. Still, at least it's unique, I guess. Couldn't help but notice one of her eyes has changed colour.... aaaaand they've added purple eye-shadow to her already quite convoluted colour scheme. I do find myself quite liking this cover as a one off though.

Now.. where we left off, Harley was being apprehended by Batman because she's a suspect in a murder. It rather looked like a parent putting a child in time out, but worse because she's a grown woman who just attacked Batman with a bat, man, because she was too impatient to listen.
 Then... She's not even handcuffed in the Batmobile? Then... she's just allowed to run free in the Batcave? Like.... did I miss something? Oh right, normal rules don't apply to Harley Quinn.

I mean, at first it looks like she's released to help solve the case, but that can't be right because she later suggests that she helps solve the case and Batman shoots her down. This is Batman - why is he suddenly relaxing his strict protocols? Then he lets himself get handcuffed to Quinn? Why is Batman being written as totally incompetent?




FYI - saying "No body no crime" doesn't exactly make it sound like you're innocent, Harley.
Neither does dismissing motive, opportunity and physical evidence at the scene as 'flimsy.'

First step of the investigation - visiting the murder victim's home... which for some reason, Batman didn't do as a first step by himself. Then he lets Harley do the talking. Clearly, they're going for a second rate buddy cop schtick here so to even get through this I'm going to have to let a lot of things slide. Which, surprisingly isn't an issue for other comics that generally involve super powers. So, that's a thing that happens now.

They meet up with the deceased doctor's house-sitter, who no one bothered to tell that the home owner is dead. Then they go to the crime scene where Harley touches the crime scene and eats a cookie crumb, declaring that suddenly she is a member of a cookie fan club and can note the complexities of the flavour even though they aren't available in her country. So, that's pretty convenient. Not to mention the main murder suspect ate the only evidence and could therefore just make up whatever bullshit she wanted.

Fortunately for her, this leads Batman to a warehouse on the docks that a) imports illegal goods and b) is registered in the dead doctor's name... because that's a smart business move that clearly doesn't warrant any further investigation. It also houses Smylex... because that's a thing that happens and they now label a concoction made by the Joker clearly. Well, points for WHS&S... but only given if they ever cover up that vat that he fell into in the first place with an actual safe cover.



Wasn't Smylex just a name for the fake products Joker made, but it was really the chemicals that only worked when used in connection with each other? IE shampoo and body wash, lipstick and deodorant.... but not if used singularly.
Did this change somewhere along the line or are random criminals just using Joker venom and calling it Smylex because nobody will get the connection?

Anyway, Harley grabs more evidence and man-handles it.. and ends up confessing to downloading Sailor Moon from the dark web... like... have you not heard of DVD's or streaming? Damn.

The GCPD Swat team arrives so Batman and Harley escape - and we get about a page worth of unfunny prattle about what Batman names his things.

Uh...he.... literally just told you the name. 

You know Harls, you had a Harley-copter once. Back when you were a funny character instead of referencing things that could be funny, but didn't happen like pranking Batman. You also used to be good at renaming things, like the Arrow Cave to the Quiver.

Clearly she's never seen 'Sister Act'

Ah... I get it. We're still going through this arc of redemption. Look, here's a conveniently troubled mother and child escaping from a possibly abusive guy. Juuuuuust in time for Harley to do a "good guy" thing and save the day in front of Batman. Will this wipe away all of the recent crimes she's done? Comic logic says yes. I, vehemently reject this extremely on the nose example of do gooder behaviour. I mean, there was a comic I read when I was younger that showed Catwoman on the run and ticking Batman off, but then it's revealed that he found out she was stealing to feed the homeless and he ends up apologising to her.

That's - how you show a morally grey character in action, not just have a convenient non playable character turn up that needs saving via the hero's violent methods. But hey, it's violence against a dude that we only have the mom's two second explanation about.. probably doesn't merit any further investigation at all. Just beat the unknown guy up and get all your sins cleared.



I mean, he seemed like a bad guy and I'm not playing devil's advocate for no reason, but Harley doesn't know what's going on. She just jumps down and whacks this guy with the mallet that keeps appearing and disappearing between panels. (Yeah, this is a professionally published comic book. Come on!)
 I mean, the first words she heard was "Let go of me!"
We don't know if she heard the rest of the conversation. For all we know, she could have mugged the guy and he grabbed her arm trying to get his wallet back. For all we know, it was a genuine break up and he wants her to hear him out.


I mean, why would there be no attempt to subdue him first? Would she have been so violent if the genders were reversed or if it was a same sex couple?
Is this a SJW fan fiction again, 'cause it sure has the 2D feeling that all the men's rights pet store villains had.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm disgusted that A) Batman didn't do anything and B) Batman thinks Harley's great because she swooped down and beat the ever-loving crap out of some dude based on a very quick look at some people standing on the street.

Oh, and now she's solved the mystery. It's about a walking corpse who likes setting traps. Of course it's Lord Death Man you frickin' idiot.

The Short End of the Jester Schtick

So we have a lame redemption arc with the constitution of a wet paper towel, a Batman that can't solve mysteries and no longer care who runs around his Batcave even if they are suspected of being murderers, a 'villain' whose trap was stupid and is only there as a catalyst for Harley's extreme violence and to praise her for being brilliant and so totally awesome and stuff, and more bullshit about the trails from the wannabe Starfire. Oh yeah, and Harley's painfully vague investigation skills that somehow are right on the money.

This was totally worth a read just because of how much Batman lore it flushed down the can.
They say that if you make it to the end of the book you can hear future detectives crying into their textbooks.

I think it's noteworthy that Harley made a big deal about going quietly if the crime wasn't solved by dawn and yet when almost dawn happens, she immediately backs out of this deal.
Also, she was escaping handcuffs since back in the animated series, and didn't need Selena to teach her anything about it.

With this though...

I mean we've had a lot of Quinn shitting on herself. We've had a lot of Harley's mom shitting on Quinn. Now Batman's getting into it.

But for the love of crap, WHICH "old Harley Quinn" are we talking about?

Are we talking about the BTAS Harley, the one that Batman knew was a decent person?
Classic series Harley who risked her own capture/death/eternal torment to pair up a couple romantically and help out some random scientists or try to help people escape hell?

Or is it the Suicide Squad Harley - of which I agree she was a bit of a hard ass cow but still vague on where Suicide Squad fits in the timeline - it seems like it should be before this solo series though.
Or is it the previous Quinn from THIS solo series - the one that beat up randoms for little provocation, who jumped into killing people, blackmailing people, literally flung shit around the town she apparently loved so much and was hated so much that people from the fricking FUTURE were coming back to take her out?!

I hear "old Harley Quinn" and my mind jumps to Classic Quinn - but that can't be right because Batman understood and tried to help her so many times. So I'm thinking it has to be either Suicide Squad Harley or earlier-in-this-series Harley - but everyone in this series keeps sucking up and praising her, and people keep showing Classic Harley photos whenever they want to shame Harley about her past. Even though... as we know from previous issues.. she has a whole YouTube thing going on where she filmed a lot of the crappy things she did.

Wotta Comedian!

Batman: Don't push it. I don't have a lot of patience around clown make-up.

Harley: Hell-ooo, have ya accepted the Glory of Cosplay into yer life?

House-sitter: And the flip-flops are just c-comfortable, man!

Batman: We are NOT  a dynamic duo.
Harley: We kinda are. 

*Harley 'kills' Lord Death Man*
Batman: Really? Right after you cleared yourself of one murder?