Saturday 24 August 2013

Zombie Harley Quinn because..... um....


Well, here ya go. Our favourite little Juggalo whore is back in full zombie swing!
What does that mean, 'Zombie swing'? It means that someone who can't draw or proportion for shit is getting paid for this cover. What the freaking hell?

Okay sooo... first of all Harley's arm thingies increase in size while her legs - which we have seen as very skinny despite what appears to be thermal knit thigh highs, have decreased in mass. Her gun holster is massive, while her tightie whities have shrunk to a c-string. Girl - when your belt is literally larger than your pants.... you really.. REALLY need to STAHP.



Not only that but DC really can't make their minds up with this stupid costume! The cape keeps vanishing in the issues and re-appearing on the cover. Same with how she wears pants now but sticks with the stockings on covers. What is this bead thing holding her cape together? Seriously, what is that? Oh wait, that mass of clump is supposed to be her HAIR. Because consistent hair is a horrible idea. Why is she wearing the wrong coloured shoes on each foot? Why are her boobs massive when she's showing off her anorexic shins?

On the other hand, PG seems to have severely aged, lost her composure and gone for a 'cute girly' weird angle leg throw and apparently has massive clod feet. I'm not even going to go into her other problems.

This, fellows, is what passes for Suicide Squad #25. This is the longest and most tedious suicide I have ever seen. I feel like I'm becoming one of those jerks who yells 'JUMP!!! Go on, do it!!!' to the poor bastard on the ledge because I really REALLY need this thing to die.

Apparently it's about a reverse suicide squad involving PG. Hmm, what is this reverse suicide squad? Oh, just tossing ideas around here.... maybe it's about a team who does dangerous missions but everyone wants them to live?

So... I haven't kept up with the issues lately because nothing in the DC new 52 past Batgirl and Batwoman have really appealed to me. Huntress was great... but only a mini-series... and Birds of Prey.. the whole traitor thing.. yeah... I dunno. Batman is Batman, you can miss twenty issues and still know what's going on. Wonder Woman I still read, Red Lanterns I need to get back into..

There are waaaay too many Green Lantern books. I'm turned off from the Justice League because of everyone's asshole performances... namely Wonder Woman being a crazy sword weilding maniac. I like maniacs with swords, but how am I supposed to reconcile that with what I know of previous Wonder Woman and her actual series where she does have the wisdom of Athena and..yadda yadda.

I haven't wanted to buy anything from DC because they're still acting like numbnuts about what people want from a) comics b) their favourite characters and c) women's interests.
Women's interests like... I don't know... NOT making a Supes/Wondies romance because woman like romances?

Like.... putting a Flash movie and a League movie BEFORE one of the Trinity - Wonder Freakin' Woman.

Aww, it's too hard! We can't do it!

Well, apparently you have. Batman has survived multiple re-boots, campy and gritty. Same with Superman. They both have successful TV shows and cartoons, plus merchandise. Wonder Woman is not 'too hard'. You're just scared to put money behind it because somehow, you figure that no one wants to see a movie about female heroes. You know the thing about female heroes? They are just like the male heroes.. except for what's in their pants. So forget the whole concept of gender, and write a damn good hero story.

Don't make it about romance or relationships or to stupid - *cough cough* Green Lantern race track! *cough  cough*

And stop treating your audience like shit and putting out substandard material like Suicide Squad, especially if you remove good elements to do so! (SECRET SIIIIIIIIXXXXX)


Look DC, just because you CAN do something... doesn't mean you SHOULD.


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Play nice or play dead! Harley Quinn's rules!