DC Bombshells #14 Combat pt 5 of 9

When we last left off with DC Bombshells, the good doctor Harley had just abandoned her post... crashed a few parties.... dumped Green Lantern and stole a plane. Just a typical night out in London. Am British by birth - can confirm.

Harley flies over the English Channel (comic puts her at 3 miles from Calais, France but still in 1940) singing her best mutilated Christmas Carol when she's shot down by no less than three tanks. I mean, it IS a special occasion after all. Harley doesn't mind, she rides one of the overlarge shells down in her best Dr. Strangelove impersonation - never mind that the shell must be scorching her thighs, there's debris everywhere, she's falling to her imminent doom and she's wearing a bikini top and mini shorts in the frigid weather.

Luckily, she lands safely in a random greenhouse. Her irritation at the shell for.... not going off? ...is somewhat abated by the appearance of a mysterious, yet clearly armed woman.

Batman: The Dark Prince Charming #1

I've been wanting to do this review for a while, basically since I heard it existed.

Jan 2018
Story and art by Enrico Marini

I'm a big fan of people who write and create/draw their own visions. So many Manga stars do this, and just have a crew to help with backgrounds and inks etc. I mean, not wanting to kick people who can't draw, because on the other hand some people who can draw can't write the story or can't do the inking or colours. But it's like - when someone writes the story, then goes and makes it - you're seeing exactly what they envisioned with the story.

Plus it's a standalone story with a new version of Joker and Harley Quinn. Wait, that doesn't sound like me recently. Wasn't I sick of all the conflicting versions of Harley? Yes. This is true. But, back in my early fandom this sort of thing was exciting. It was cool to go from the Harley Quinn in BTAS
to the blood soaked, unforeseen psychosis of Thrillkiller Harley. Later on or I guess more recently - I would say the same thing about the stupid solo version of Harley and then latching onto the Injustice version for sweet relief.

Also the detail in this scene is amazing... and the subject matter quite terrifying.

Opening on a little girl in a dodgy looking basement. Oh, well, that's mean. The basement is quite nice for a basement and looks functional as hell, but it's not the kind of basement a young girl would like to be in by herself after being kidnapped. That's what I'm saying. Especially when the Joker is coming down the stairs. In Gotham. I mean, you don't wanna be in Gotham at the best of times but yeah, this, this is not that time.

It's not even safe in stately Wayne Manor. First Bruce gets a suspicious gift decked out in Joker colours, then he has to go and stop a clown robbery.

On the plus side, Gotham has a nice selection of rooftops. 

Damn the art is nice in this. Also, The Joker is his own thing in this yet somehow a mix of what made him funny in BTAS, crazy like in the Joker standalone, in love with Harley like in White Knight and obsessed with Batman like.. well, like a lot of things he's been in.

Not one, not two, but three sex puns? Niiiice.

Side note - if you're driving a loaded semi in peak hour traffic in Gotham while reading a nudie magazine.... you kinda deserve to be hit by a clown with a bat hood ornament. Just saying.

Harley Quinn animated interview

So... I read this article recently.. 

Metro.co.uk Harley Quinn's Kaley Cuoco and Lake Bell clashed over swearing limit on foul-mouthed DC series Abbie Bray 03/12/2019

....and it confirmed some things.

Kaley Cuoco and Lake Bell clashed over their characters in the Harley Quinn animated series for who could swear the most per episode – but who do you think had the last F-word? 

The foul-mouthed cartoon sees Kaley star as the titular anti-heroine, who decides to break up with the Joker and become a supervillain in her own right, teaming up with gal pal Poison Ivy (Lake) to join the Legion of Doom. Although what fans don’t know is that the show has a limit to how many swear words they can use per episode. And as a result, the stars had a bit of healthy competition by revealing they would try to claim more F-words for their characters. 

‘We don’t shoot together,’ Lake told ET. ‘We don’t record together and there’s often a fight.’ 

‘About who gets more [F-words],’ Kaley added. ‘Did Lake take the last f*** again?’

The over the top swearing made the adult themed show just that much more juvenile... like hearing Maggot Robbie spit out 'pussy' because she was under the impression that that's how you show that your character is so much more fearless than the Joker. Just... trying too hard and ultimately failing. Unless she was trying to cover us in spit, in which case she may have succeeded.

And speaking of the woman who has doomed all of my searches for the ACTUAL Birds of Prey or anything Harley related to end in her gross mug showing up, here's what the executive producer had to say about it.

American Horror Story: 1984 and Harley Quinn - Criminal Psychologist

I am a long time fan of American Horror Story, but I do admit that some seasons are hit or miss. Plus, they don't really screen it here in Australia unless you have some fancy TV channel subscriptions..

Essentially, loved Murder House - Asylum didn't grab me and the twists at the end were kinda left field... Coven was alright but often felt like the story was built around Stevie Nicks songs and lost momentum/direction after the first few episodes. Freak Show was pretty good overall but did get a bit preachy towards the end, Hotel seemed like the Lady Gaga show and took a long time for me to get interested in it, and I'm not sure I even finished watching it. Because of the aforementioned issue with screenings.. I didn't get to see Roanoke or Cult (although I plan to catch up soon) and basically forgot they came out until a work colleague was talking about the next season. Apocalypse was amazing and I was keen on it all again. So, here we are at Season 9, with 1984.

Thus far, 5 episodes in - I am LOVING IT. It's a real love letter to 1980's slasher flicks, and heaped with nostalgia for the era. The characters are memorable, the soundtrack is amazing and the banter is witty. There are genuine laughs in here. Plus, unlike Stranger Things - there is gore galore.

So, with that said - let's have a look at one particular character that echoes our dear Harley Quinn in so many ways.

Spoiler alert!! Episodes 1-5 only.

Harley Quinn: Premium Format Figure - Sideshow Collectibles

Sideshow Collectibles has been hard at work making some nice things that I can't afford right now, (and also spelling collectables in a way that offends both my British sensibilities and my spellchecker, but that's another matter entirely) so I thought I'd spend a little time talking about one of their new statues.

One thing I really appreciate with Sideshow is that they seem to understand the appeal of the classic Harley Quinn along with her various reiterations. They're also good at interpreting Classic Harley Quinn for people who want something 'new' without going as far as say, the Suicide Squad movie version of her outfit which is basically two-toned apples and oranges and a far cry from what she started out in.

That and their items are really high quality - hence the 'premium format figure' name being trademarked by Sideshow. They go above and beyond to make sure what they sell is great and packed with fun props/features and detailed bases. So, let's get into it.

Starting with the interchangeable faces - here we have two options. One has a skinny domino mask which showcases her eye make-up, which is sort of thickly winged out and has more traditional clown 'tears' make-up. Her eyes are ringed by light red colouring - which I think is meant to be a nod to her current style - one eye blue one eye pink/red - as opposed to the usual clown face paint.

This head has white greasepaint with a very very underhanded and pleasing blush effect. Her lips are a dark red with a bit of a black tinge - which combined with her displeased expression makes Harley look like a much more dramatic character. I like her loose pigtails - the colour is nice, I'd almost forgotten what she looked like without the dip dye! - and the highlights weaved through the natural looking strands looks realistic.

On the other hand - the other Harley head has a much wider domino mask - almost as wide as her cheerful yet vaguely garish grin. Her lipstick is just dark red, and looks a lot like Joker's smile, with the edges of her lips exaggerated and almost brought out into a Chelsea Smile. Her face has the same greasepaint and blush tones as the other head, but is encased in her classic jester hat. Her eyes have more of a smoky look to them - light greys gradually getting darker. Her eyeliner is still winged out and heavy towards the end. 

Porn Parody - Digital Playground's Suicide Squad

I have dipped my toe in, why not get the whole foot wet?
Uhh... that's supposed to be a pool analogy... maybe it doesn't work the best with a porn review.

Yes, I reviewed the other major one - Axel Braun's  version so now it's Digital Playground's turn.

This one stars Aria Alexander as Harley and Isiah Maxwell as Deadshot.

Now right off the bat - tee hee - you can tell this one is basically a vehicle for the Harley Quinn actress - Aria Alexander. The intro credits - even though very small, only show stylised images of Harley and hardly mentions a squad. There's the briefest of plots thrown our way as well... something about Lex Luthor in Gotham? It's not impossible.. but you know he's a Superman villain in Metropolis, right? Guys?

So we open with just Harley and Deadshot (like, there's REALLY no Squad at all, huh?) and first off I have an issue with Deadshot's headpiece.

My what a big... eyepiece... you have. Ain't that thing heavy? Harley's wig is not the best either. It's not the worst of the worst (Suicide Squad joke, anyone?) but every now and then you see the fake looking super shiny blonde-ness, or when she goes to flip her pigtail over her shoulder and the whole freaking thing shifts dramatically.

Perhaps I should mention that this thing is just over half an hour. So, what is the story?

10 Things DC Wants you to forget about Harley Quinn!

Oh no, another Youtube based post! When will I ever learn? Well, The Key of Awesome is on hiatus, so is Epic Rap Battles of History and A Dose of Buckley, and I'm all caught up on pretty much everything else I care about on Youtube so here we are.

Here's the video.

Here's me.

Here's my post where I ramble on for hours on end about why I agree or disagree about the dot points.

Watch out for the random ambiguous point! There's one in every post! ...Apparently.

#10 Harley Quinn was only meant to be a cameo

Uh.... yeah. I don't think anyone's ever tried to hide that.

One of the first parts under her Wikipedia page reads:
Harley Quinn first appeared in the DC Animated Universe's Batman: The Animated Series episode "Joker's Favour", in what was originally supposed to be the animated equivalent of a walk-on role; a number of police officers were to be taken hostage by someone jumping out of a cake, and it was decided that to have the Joker do so himself would be too bizarre, although he ended up doing it anyway. Thus they created a female sidekick for the Joker; she would become his love interest.

From the IMDB page about the episode in question;

Originally, the script called for the Joker to appear in drag. The writers decided this was out of character for him and created a one-shot female character to fill this role instead. The character became extremely popular and was soon upgraded from one of Joker's goons to a major player in the Rogues Gallery: Harley Quinn.

VERDICT: UNSURE

I agree with the statement that Harley's character was initially supposed to be a cameo but I disagree that this is something DC is trying to hide. 

#9 Harley Quinn is a relatively new character

What? Confused here. Why is this some scandalous secret that DC is trying to hide from us? I would say the vast majority of Harley fans already know she was shown in 1992 - the rest are the couple of fans of Harley from the Suicide Squad movie who seem to believe that monstrosity was the first incarnation and everything else is some archaic cartoon for old timers.

Besides, how exactly is DC trying to hide this when you can easily see it on every Wiki about her and it often comes up as a 'fun fact!' about the character. It's pretty iconic how she became the first cartoon character to jump across to the mainstream comics in DC barely a year later.

Video/OP need to elaborate here. If DC was trying to insinuate that Harley was a part of some classic Batman stories like the Killing Joke, A Death in the Family, The Man Behind the Red Hood etc or films like The Dark Knight or Batman (1989) for example when she wasn't even in continuity then - well yes this would be some dodgy business.

Verdict: UNSURE 

As above, need more information. Are they hiding her big production year or trying to say she was always there from the beginning? An example of this would maybe be in White Knight when she was there during Robin's torture.

The Ten Worst Things Harley Quinn Has Ever Done!

On a similar note to the "Top Ten Worst Things That Happened To Harley Quinn" post, this time I'm going to have a look at "The Ten Worst Things Harley Quinn Has Ever Done!"

The title is unfortunate, I would have removed the 'Ever' part of it, seeing as how this video was posted back in April 2017, and the poster clearly underestimates how badly Harley can be written.
There are a lot of similar videos and posts out there too.

Let's get stuck in, shall we?

Top 10 Worst Things that Happened to Harley Quinn

Today I gave in to the click bait and watched this WatchMojo.com video titled "Top 10 Worst Things that Happened to Harley Quinn" so I thought I'd go through it here to see what it was all about, what I agree with, what I don't and what I thought overall.

After all, there are so many different versions of Harley Quinn and they've each had different experiences.. Is it going to be fair? Is it going to be mostly classic Harley, or newer Harley? Are video game versions excluded? What about TV and movies?

Let's dig in.

Batman: White Knight #1

Finally, I'm getting around to reviewing Batman: White Knight!
You may recall I did some similar blogs about Harley Quinn and her roles in this a bit earlier last year.

The covers here are nice, Joker and Harley in nice evening wear.. looking quite civil. The only throwback to their glory days of crime is Joker's purple/green tie and Harley's diamond motif. He's not even smiling but there is a horrifically eye catching Joker face at the bottom if you found yourself missing that. The alternate cover is black and white (geddit?) and while they're more of a focus on Batman and his proteges, Joker (and Harley?) still appear at the bottom. There's even a little logo for them, three diamonds and a rosette. More on that later.


Oh, you want more? Well here's another cover, summing up the theme of the comic a bit more than the other two.

The issue opens up mostly silent as we watch the Batmobile make it's way up to Arkham Asylum. Once there, the guards offer to take him in but Batman states he knows his way around. Visiting a particular cell we see.... wait.. Batman chained up?! And the Joker come to visit?!

WHAT A TWIST!!

What's even happening, I hear you say? Well, let's go back, one year ago, to the innocent days where a skateboarding Joker and a terrifyingly determined Batman trying his best to run him down was the status quo. Yeah, you read that right.

Some strange costumes here - the T-shirt and suspenders thing I could actually see Jared Leto's Joker wearing but Batgirl (even though she's the voice of reason here) fighting crime in a T-shirt is just downright bizarre.

Wait nevermind, it's actually long gloves not bare skin.

Nightwing has to save a random construction worker and tells Batgirl to get a tighter grip on Batman despite her protests.

We don't hear much from Batman himself, he leaves to follow Joker solo on foot - mowing down a trying-to-be-helpful guard on the way.

Batman Ninja

Here's another version of Harley Quinn but set in feudal Japan as part of Batman: Ninja - an upcoming animated feature involving the Batman cast being transported to that era for some reason.
Actually, I keep reading that in the limited descriptions around but I'm not sure if the story is going to be ABOUT them all being sent to this Japan stage or if it's just an Elseworlds type story where Batman is established as a ninja already because that's who he is in this timeline.

Personally, I think it's going to be the latter and that would make for a much better story in my opinion but we'll see where they go with it.

There is super hype around a Harley Quinn/Catwoman fight but I can even look past the Catwoman obligatory ass shot because the fight looks amazing already!

They seem to have her doing her licky thing again though..

Between Maggot Robbie and New52 Harley Quinn, I feel like they're trying their best to be the whole VMA Miley Cyrus thing all over again. No one understood it then, no one likes it now.
STOP LICKING THINGS ALL THE TIME.

DCAU: Suicide Squad - Hell to Pay

First things first - this hasn't come out yet, but we already know it's going to be better than actual Suicide Squad. Time will tell if it's as good as Assault on Arkham. Speaking of... this new Suicide Squad animated movie won't be in the same.. "universe" .... so it's not a sequel.

Yeah, that's right. This Suicide Squad is DCAU while Assault on Arkham is technically more in the Arkham game universe. Which is why everyone looks different.

It's good because Deadshot is not built like a tank in the new one (which I always thought was stupid because he's the gun guy, the sniper... it wouldn't matter if he was skinny or short. Why can I fit two of me in AOA Deadshot's silhouette alone?? Why are his shoulders so far away from his neck?? How is he alive??) I don't like Killer Frost's redesign in HTP as much as her AOA one... it just doesn't seem to have any personality?
Boomerang is pretty much the same.. that's fine. Harley...

Oh Harley.

Harley looked amazing in AOA - even if her modified bodysuit revealed her most dangerous weapon - not the dirty-bomb mallet but the razor sharp bony ass hips she had - and she was blatantly used as a sex object for most of the movie (kinda like Maggot Robbie, but the animated version at least had a character arc and some decent lines!) 

This HTP Harley looks kinda hideous, face wise. You guys already know that I think the blue/pink eye shadow is a terrible costume choice. At least she has face paint on her original flesh tone body, not the Joker dip dye, I guess. It just seems weird that she's wearing evening gloves and matching thigh high stockings.. with generic Daisy Duke jeans and hipster sneakers? 

Harley Quinn: Monarchs

There are two things here - either this is happening or it's not.

At first when I saw the headline for Swiss actress Lara Pictet to play Harley Quinn in a web series named Monarchs I was like cool, it's not Margot Robbie and this one's actually pretty. Again, still don't get the hype over Margot's looks. Maybe people like that but to me, she's just another Hollywood blonde but with squinty eyes and a penchant for ruining my favourite characters and flashing her (word here used generously) bits.

Honestly, people hack into celebrities personal photos and release sensitive ones - you know, illegally, and they are forced to defend themselves for their private actions/called sluts or worse. Then on the other hand, we have Kim Kartrashian and Maggot Robbie making a living off showing their nekkid selves and no one has an issue? Smells wrong.

ANYWAY - there's not much about this series but some pages say it's a new web series that is DC inspired and they're hoping DC will pick it up officially.


The concept of the show is basically a 'how this person became this villain' origin stories series.




Here's what some interviewers have posted about it - nothing official from DC yet.

Ame-Comi - Duela Dent #1-3

Loving this Duela Dent, her outfit and her text no matter how uninspiring the other issues are.
So that's something. Now finally, some backstory so we know why we should give a rats... unlike the Joker's Daughter of the New52.

Everything on this cover looks pretty awesome but again... what the hell is going on with Harley's hat? Does the artist know they're not actually like bunny ears or do they have some sort of power in this universe?

No one will explain anything!

Part I

So starting off with a description of her house - which reminds me of a Series of Unfortunate Events and her outfits, which make me think of Alice in Wonderland we have the tale of little Duela.
A precocious child on the edge of society, running free across the waste dumps...

Yes, she actually does that and barefoot to boot. Turns out the house is condemned, which is a twist I totally did not see coming. /Sarcasm. Wait, this is either a different day or she stopped in a room I did not see to put on stockings and maybe shoes? A wise move, considering there are like syringes and broken glass shards outside your front door.

As it happens, the home is heritage listed as a Gotham landmark and that's why it's still standing. Barely. But whatever, it's a cool home for a crook dad and his little scamp of a girl to hang out.

Ame-Comi Batgirl #1-3

Probably the first batch of comics based off statues of DC's women, followed closely by Bombshells and Gotham City Garage. When this first came out, I was so hyped about it because I love stories about women, anime, and Harley Quinn. What could go wrong?

Well, a lot of things. The story didn't exactly grab me, the art varied from issue to issue and for the most part, the characters never really seemed to mesh well together. Don't get me wrong, some did but it just read like someone had literally stuck all these characters together but didn't exactly figure out WHY they should be co-existing apart from NEW STATUES NEED TIE IN MERCHANDISE.

The other thing I need to mention is that pretty much the entire run was written by Jimmy Palmiotti and Justin Gray. Justin Gray has written a bunch of stuff for DC, mostly hand in hand with Palmiotti and Conner which brings me to the problem. I personally feel Palmiotti is a terrible writer.
His work is all the same, usually overstuffed with useless characters who are either bland or stereotypes of something and he's not funny.

Now, when I first read this series this name meant nothing to me but if you've read this blog at all you've probably read me cursing his name at least once for bringing such an obnoxious Hardly Quinn to life in her ridiculous solo. Of course, now I recognise the name it's easy to understand why I abandoned this series so early.

Mr Gray I have no opinion of apart from not minding the Catwoman Convergence and tossing aside the Power Girl/Harley Quinn nonsense. That and I honestly think he has sold his soul to Palmiotti because there is something else going on here. Maybe we should see if he's okay.

The Second Harley Quinn: Marian Drews

Further to my last post, I just wanted to have a little chat about how she's come about.
Writer of Batman: White Knight Sean Murphy has been positively interactive with fans and it seems to be going pretty well.


Old & New Harley Quinn Are TWO Different Women 01/12/2017 Andrew Bryce

Batman: White Knight just dropped the biggest twist on Harley Quinn in years, turning the classic Harley and the new Suicide Squad version into two completely different women. It’s a bombshell that will ring true for the older fans who always preferred the jester-suited Harleen Quinzel of Batman’s animated series to the more scantily-clad, downright psychotic version born in DC’s New 52 Universe.

First things first: yes, ‘Marian Drews’ is yet another play on the clown motif, with both merry-Andrew and harlequin meaning someone who “clowns” for entertainment. But even if Murphy makes the distinction between the two women from the start, Joker doesn’t. When freed from prison on trumped-up charges and finally the man Harley always dreamed he could be, he heads to her apartment – coming face to face with the modern incarnation. Showing plenty of skin, a frail grasp on the reality of the situation, and a preoccupation with sex (all criticisms of the modern incarnation of Harley), Jack’s apology and marriage proposal are met with disgust and denial.

Harley doesn’t want Jack: she wants Joker. And as much as fans might take offence at the implicit bias, Murphy’s depiction of Harley isn’t far from her personality in DC’s ongoing Harley and Suicide Squad comics. To her, there’s never a reason to desire anything but chaos. And judging by the ‘J’ on her belt buckle, she takes pride and pleasure from her total devotion to the madman called Joker. He was broken and brutal, just like her.

The scene is short-lived, but as Murphy explained on Twitter, Marian’s story is far from over. She may not be the original Harley from Batman: The Animated Series… but there’s no reason fans can’t have both:

Harley Quinn 25th Anniversary Special

I figured I've worked up enough inner strength to actually put myself through this issue. I'm sure it's probably not all that bad, seeing as how the Conner/Palmiotti cliche machine hasn't written all of this book. It still means there's going to be a lot of people involved and each will likely have their own interpretation of what it is to be Harley Quinn and DC won't care about continuity because hey, they're DC. It's kind of what they do. Or don't do.

.....You know what I mean.


Anyway - in my opinion the second cover should have replaced the main cover - not just because it's the Dodson's and their beautiful classic Harley Quinn art but because it looks more like something she'd do. It ties into her circus theme and she's surrounded by toys of her criminal counterparts. The main cover is just some asshole ruining a cake and like a sad high school football player hanging onto their former glory... refuses to take off the sports gear.

Seriously though... that's a huge cake. And you're rendered it inedible by putting your various pasty body parts in it and letting your dog run around in it. Youuuu make me sick, Hardly Quinn.


Then we have this cover to make sure ALL variants of Harley have an equal chance to make money. Now this cover is fine, I guess, but at least the other two have the idea that there's some sort of celebration going on.

Here it's like she couldn't be more depressed while trying to be a bad ass. Yay, Harley's a sharp shooter instead of messing around with pop-guns! And for some reason has a cat head on a belt.. because she's... a Harley Quinn! Yeah!
Oh and they recycled that idiotic shirt from the movie. Ugh.

This page is like some rough draft of a Suicide Squad cover that Jim Lee already had available and he just said 'here ya go, I made this special for this comic.'

I have to assume this was followed up by a maniacal laugh and hand rubbing/beard stroking.

Harley Quinn and Batman #3

When we last left off, Harley had just gone to rob the zombie-like Catwoman (presumably for her poor re-design) and discovered that Catwoman was in fact home and not the rollover chump that Harley took her for. Honestly, why would your first hit be Catwoman? Do you not value your life?

In any case, the art is markedly better than the fare we've had previously even though it suffers from Batman the New Animated Adventures designs. Have I mentioned I hate these designs? Because I do. Hell, I even like the redesign for Joker more in The Batman than his appearance in The New Animated Series. 

Where are your eyes, Joker?! Where?!

Honestly, I don't know what they were thinking. Not everyone suffered, but Poison Ivy, Catwoman and Joker were definitely worse for wear. 

Right, well Catwoman with her gross zombie face, surprisingly small waist compared to her thighs and her whip attack Harley Quinn, and that's fair enough. Harley could have chosen literally any villain but she went for the highest profile cameo this side of Batman.

For some reason Catwoman falls for the old 'help me up buddy WHOOPS I've got a joy buzzer in my pocket and it's happy to see you' which is incredibly not like her, especially as she's so understandably antagonistic towards Harley. It's not like anyone's going to buy the whole friends things when it comes to villains ripping each other off.