DC Universe: Harley Quinn #64

 

The first thing that drew my attention on this cover was the tiny top banner with classic Harley shoving current Harley. It's cute, and in character. I don't know how I didn't look at the main picture first because YE GADS what on Earth is that? Did the nineties comic scene throw up again? I mean, it's not that baaaad... I guess but it also... doesn't make sense? 

Why is her arm a box? Is her hair made out of pom-poms? I was confused about her foot being a demented roller blade but then I realised that's meant to be her arm, not the box... her foot is that faux Japanese mask and cybergoth fluffies. So... what IS the box doing there? Is it part of her outfit, or is it the background? What's the other thing floating around her? Where are her eyeballs? Is this the revenge of Suicide Squad New52? Her pigtails trailing so long and being around all these mechanical parts makes me hella anxious too. 

Moving on with the comic itself - Harley is still reading her own comic book to escape the realities of her mom's hospital trip and-OH okay, inside is another picture from the cover and as it turns out, the star and box (diamond?) are SHOULDER PADS. 

.....Eh, still more in true to her origins than what she has been seen wearing, even if she's got a reject Dazzler from the future/Jem and the Holo-hell no's/Ziggy Star-Don't feel to her.  

Still weird though. 

Side note, I don't know a thing about Year of the Villain so if everyone's gonna be in these extreme cosplayer gladiator outfits I - well, actually I'm in two minds about reading it. 

Justice League vs Suicide Squad #3

March 2017
Writer: Joshua Williamson
Pencils: Jesus Merino
Inks: Andy Owens

This cover isn't bad - I do question what's going on with Batman's legs though. And I don't think they've in any way contained Wonder Woman or Aquaman. Flash kinda looks like he's playing Wii tennis or DDR or something. I do like what they did with Waller and the title of the issue. It's not groundbreaking by any means - pretty sure Waller does this pose at least once every appearance she makes like it's her default character standby mode, but still... when it works, it works!




The two variants just focus on Harley Quinn and Wonder Woman, and like the recent review I did of Wonder Woman: Agent of Peace - the name 'variant' is ironic as there's little to be found here. Both covers feature Harley leaping through the air with the greatest of ease, wielding a weapon and a maniacal smile with which to somehow beat down on Wonder Woman - who stands her ground with less a look of determination but exasperation that these foes think they seriously have a chance, and make her calculate how to destroy them without accidentally killing them with her left pinky finger if Wonder Woman slightly waves her hand without warning.

Both covers take place in some sort of empty void where the only thing apart from the characters are a couple of yellow bursts of gunfire or hammer blows. As usual, the Conner cover is less appealing to me than the other one, which is done by Laura Martin. By Conner's logic, Harley's been suspended in mid-air for some time now, and has been shooting through enough bullets and clips to almost bury the Amazonian, yet for some reason Wondy is only NOW doing something half hearted to stop her? More flash forwards to Agent of Peace again. By contrast, the Martin cover (apart from Harley's face and waist) doesn't look too bad - I like Harley's pants and the fact that it looks like Harley is only wearing face paint, (without her dumb eyeshadow!) and the rest of her body is normal... and Diana is moving in to take her down. Yes.

Well, when we last left off, the Squad was fighting with the League - kind of. Then Killer Frost took out Superman and everyone got frost bite. What? I'm not wrong!

Justice League vs Suicide Squad #2

Cover shows us the new team teased at the end of issue one.
They all seem like lesser known people with Lobo planted right and centre to garner some interest.


Variants aren't that exciting. Oh wait, talk about your versus battles, it's my favourite Harley Quinn solo team versus the my loathed Harley Quinn solo team!
Isn't it funny how both of them do the same thing but one is just instinctively more crap?

Both cover sequences take place in the same empty void apparently. Did the industry run out of background artists?

So, Conner has Enchantress striking a ditzy pose, she's upset and looking like she gotta pee but has to stop Ballerina Superman from bro-fisting her first. Her feet are clearly on the floor but there's no floor there, and it's not exactly Superman's style to freakin' plow drive opponents into the ground unless they're like Doomsday or something. In fact, knowing his weakness to magic, why would he engage in close quarters combat instead of trying to take her out from a distance with like freeze breath or something? Only compliment I can really give this cover is that Enchantress' outfit looks okay.

The Dodson's take has Enchantress at least looking like she's about to strike at Superman, she looks controlled and calm, Superman on the other hand looks cautious, like he's not sure about engaging this magic user. Dodson's do capes so much better... they actually look like real fabric, interacting with the wind in this featureless void..... I like that Enchantress has occult symbols appearing with her magic. Only critique would be that Superman's either really bendy or he's missing a leg.

Right, so the actual comic. Turns out, Waller has a perfect view of the money shot here on this random island. I think there are only like, five characters with their feet on the ground here.
They're all actually fighting and have all paired off.

Also Waller has injured her best pointing finger somehow.

Perspective... that ain't it, Chief. 

Batgirl #18 'O, Harley Night!'

Judging by the snow and the red and green coloured title, it's already going to be an American Christmas. Why did I specify that? Because I'm English, but now live in Australia.. where the concept of it snowing at Christmas, which is generally the meltiest time of the year but it's because the heat soars higher than any sleigh, and the drops falling are just filthy sweat... not snow.

There is a reason why we amend our Santas to look like this;

for if we don't... THEY SUFFER FROM OVERHEATING. 

So the general or popular opinion that you have to be buried in ten feet of snow for it to be actually Christmas gets a bit grating at times but yeah, sure, it's set in American and it's comics so sure. Ok.

But of course - our Harley is still running around wearing her usual outfit and ... a scarf?
Like - OH NO, It's cold! Better wear a scarf with fluffy boots and not like... do my jacket up or.. heaven forbid, wear pants or something covering my midriff!

She also adds purple and green leggings to her already horrible mish mash of red/black/pink/blue. Why? Who knows. Also not a massive fan of the change of Batgirl costume. I know - I'm behind the times there and it does seem to suit her more youthful appeal but you just can't beat the classics.
Also, how did Harley beat Batgirl to the point where she's just casually looking up at this arse clown while her back is surely breaking? And that my friends, is a 'too soon' for me moment.

Variant cover is alright, Harley is channelling Joker in the face but it's still better than wearing a band-aid on her mug like in cover one. At least here she commits to the Christmas theme and goes full red and green - even though she's wearing booty shorts, at least her jumper is done up and she's wearing warm gloves. The jingle bell belt is nice and I approve of the pigtail fluffy scrunchies and the the British looking old school lamps in the snow, however it seems like Batgirl was drawn by a different artist? And why is her hair made of spray paint? Still, the little gift-bomb is a nice touch.

So - why is this happening?  Let's have a look.

Harley and Ivy meet Betty and Veronica #6

Okay - I'll come clean. I totally forgot about this issue. This comic isn't terrible, per se (it's just got questionable perspective and the Freaky Friday thing is a bit over done) but it doesn't make much of an impression either.

So... here we are.

Now I do like the first cover with Ivy and Betty.. Veronica is a bit hit and miss but oh Harley. We get it. You like baseball bats and ridiculous jackets you can't wear properly.
Plus.. 'Riverdale Sucks' ?

Uh, yeah.. creative. You had a massive splash panel - pride of place, even - on the cover and youuuu wasted it with your petty crimes and cheap eye make-up. You could have at least sprayed a pun on the wall! The second cover is a bit.. interesting.

Everyone is so pointy, skinny and angular with weird feet and elbows that it took me a while to realise that the strange thing is supposed to be what they're DOING, not what they look like. I just can't see Ivy going ahead with another stupid, reckless idea like Harley trying to fly with bat arm decorations, and looking so calm at that too.


Now for those playing at home - the big question is... what's the best way to incapacitate these four women? Is it...





A) Loosely tying them back to back with a cell phone in one of their pockets?

B) Loosely tying one's arms behind her back and hoisting her up above the others in a huge pipe so she can wriggle free and wash off the de-powering defoliant in the convenient lake beneath her?

C) Vaguely and probably loosely tying one to some port-a-potties with a chainsaw within reach of herself and the two numbskulls tied back to back.. and within kicking distance of the idiot in the pipeline?

Or.......... D) All of the above?

Yeah - players at home, if you picked D) - you're right! You also kinda cheated because the pictures were there.. but seeing as how D) is also the wrong answer, we'll let this one even itself out.

Good gravy, did these bad guys go to the Scooby Doo School of Dodgy Villains or what?

DC Universe Harley Quinn #51

First things first, while I appreciate a retro cover like the first one here, I don't know what is going on with Harley's pose at all, she looks so out of place and wrong. Tiny Trump hands, her hips are apparently out of orbit with the rest of her and her face.. doesn't seem to match what she's saying. Now, even if she's talking sarcastically.. why does she look depressed?

Also.. why does she need a belt saying who she is when DC's new tag line for Harley is basically "YOU KNOW WHO SHE IS!"

The second cover is better, as usual. They're still putting her with Joker props though. To ship, or not to ship? That's what DC needs to ask themselves.


The art is sooooo much better in this series now. The writing... for me, it's yet to be amazing but it's already better than the last lot of idiots. That's partially why I'm doing another DCU review - because I can actually stomach this schlock now.

Starting off with an out of control vehicle - okay well the pedestrians it's veering towards are for the most part in continuity.. except when the older guy falls down and changes places with the blue jean boy - it's stopped by Captain Triumph who is immediately mistaken for nearly every other male superhero out there.

The older guy - demands to know who the hell this guy who saved him is. Well, I suppose that's the New Yorker in him coming out? Not 'Oh, thanks for saving my clumsy ass' but 'Wait... you're... who the hell ARE you?'

Ya know what would have been better? Having this guy - who's old enough to be in the demographic to remember this guy - remember this guy instead of having Captain Triumph do his hero spiel.

Joker/Mask #2

June 2000 2/4
Story: Henry Gilroy & Ronnie Del Carmen
Writer: Henry Gilroy
Pencils: Ramon F. Bachs
Cover: Ramon F. Bachs

Back to Bighead.. or The Mask's joint rampage through Gotham with Joker.

The cover certainly gets the theme of the issue across even if I don't get - and probably never will - the logistics of those physiques. Plus.. Bighead's teeth just..

The only teeth to parody other giant, unnatural teeth. 

Last time we saw Joker/Mask and Harley, they were on the lam after 'killing' Batman, but here it picks up three days later where it's apparent that no one realises that Joker is involved.. everyone just thinks it's Edge City villain Bighead with some vague Joker connection. True to her roots, Harley gets miffed at her Puddin's snub but then forgets about it on account of putting one too many fingers in the candy jar.

We've all been there, skintight bodysuit and all. 

Meanwhile, GCPD (looking a little worse for wear) is discussing the matter and introducing Lieutenant Kellaway who is here to help with the situation. Kellaway realises that Joker has the Mask while the GCPD are only just beginning to suspect Joker having a more solid hand in the the game.

Batman... or a sneaky imposter - appears and wreaks havoc.

Woe at the Comic Store

So today I went into a comic store with my husband and it was very surreal.

For one thing, he bought several comics... I only got two. Usually I have the most, and he gets one or two. So what happened? Well.....Nothing else appealed to me in that store. What the hell, right?

I did see a couple of annoying things though.

A while ago, Gotham City Sirens was re-released with new covers. That's fine, a lot of series do that. However, I saw an omnibus today and this is what it looked like.

Harley Quinn and the Gotham City Sirens. 

Yeah, I shit you not. If that's not the most blatant cash grab combined with complete lack of understanding of the comic... I don't know what is.

I mean, she's on all of the covers anyway... was it not clear who this trio was comprised of??

How gracious of Harley Quinn - the clear leader of this trio - to allow some 'minor villains of lesser fame' to join her on her adventures! Or rather, use her name to boost sales. Bloody hell, is this how sad we're getting, DC? Just slap Harley's name on anything and it's good to go, right? Especially with Maggot Robbie running around trying to ruin that series AND Birds of Prey at the same time!

I thought Gotham City Sirens did a great job of making sure each character had enough screen time and had everybody play to their strengths and even their character flaws. Hell, Selina being the 'main' ish character and the one who brought them all together.. you'd think she'd be the one in focus but no, everything was equal.

Well, that's what I thought anyway, but apparently I just read another 'Harley Quinn and her bitches' book entirely wrong.

Harley Quinn and Gossamer - The Looney Tunes special

I didn't even know this guy had a name. He's kinda like Sweetums, from the Muppets. You know who it is but they're not a main character.

Wait - why is this a thing? They just did the Hanna Barbera cross overs, plus Archie... What's the next cash grab tie in gonna be?

Anyway, the main cover for this cross over no one probably needed is it's usual Conner schlock (her arms are about as long as her legs and her eyes look frickin' weird) but the variant by Quinones?

I've told you guys I love the Quinones Quinn? He's even got her in the costume she wore in the 25th Anniversary special!

Both in scenes from the actual comic but the variant looks a lot more natural and fun.

Harley Quinn/Gossamer - a Hairy Predicament!
Aug 2018

Synopsis:

A violent storm leaves a large crate washed up on the beach at Coney Island. When Harley breaks it open to see what’s inside, she suddenly has a new playmate to add to her cast of friends-a large, furry, orange beast called Gossamer. It’s all fun and games until a giant robot attacks them. But who sent it? Harley immediately suspects only one man, but is it really The Joker behind this destructive rampage?


Now this special is still written by Amanda Conner and Jimmy Palmiotti because apparently when you leave a project you can't actually leave it. I wish they would. Every issue they write is pretty much a personal affront to me. Although if they hate me as much as I hate their bland world and shitty characters.. well it explains a lot. What a vicious cycle.

Some things I noticed about this issue.. it's not as outright shit as much of this duo's crap normally is. I suspect DC felt the heavy hand of Warner Brothers/Looney Tunes here. That said, it's still pretty weird. For one thing, the opening shot is Harley sitting on a Joker head inflatable. The second thing is Coney Island's beach actually has clear waters. I've never been there, but I've heard enough jabs about it to know it's not exactly paradise.

Then....

Yeah... see, this is why I'm not a fan of the whole ship with Poison Ivy. I won't go into a rant about how she's about as good as the Joker is when looking for a spouse but even this lobotomised version of Poison Ivy is just.. ugh.

Okay. If I wanted to read a comic about relationships I'd go and find a romcom or a good manga.
Strangers in Paradise, Ranma 1/2, Fruits Basket, Rachel Rising.... I could go on.
I don't crack open a supervillain comic to read about some asshole sighing wistfully, catching ordinary civilian trains, making phone calls and making sure their apartment is okay.

Retro Review: Joker/Mask #1

Published in 2000

Story: Henry Gilroy and Ronnie del Carmen

Pencils: Ramon F. Bachs

Inker: Howard M. Shum

Colours: Dave McCaig

Letters: Steve Dutro

Cover: Ramon F. Bachs

This is one of my favourite DC cross overs. I love Harley Quinn, I really enjoyed The Mask movie.. I came to learn that the comic wasn't very close in nature to the movie adaption at all but I still enjoy it.

Now this particular comic is a nice mix of Jim Carey style Mask and the more relationshippy Joker and Harley - kind of like how they were written in their visit to Metropolis to poke fun at another bald guy in a suit. 

Gotham's first mistake was holding an event. No, it doesn't matter that it's at the Gotham City Museum of Art, or that it's a kid's night or even an exhibition about masks... any exhibition or event in Gotham is basically a gilded invitation to any criminal scum in the area.

You think I'm kidding? Man, Penguin turned up to the opening of a new pet store, someone opened a new pack of cards, there was the Riddler and Catwoman was seen at an envelope opening.....

They're out of control man.

Anyway, here's the titular Mask making an appearance, along with.....

Harley, Joker and Snucky! Wait, Snucky? Who's that? Apparently an aspiring pro-football player in Joker's gang and the only one to make it to the museum instead of the mausoleum.
As it turns out, Joker is here not to steal masks or because he knows what power The Mask holds -  no, he wants to destroy the collection of frowny clown masks.

Harley and Ivy meet Betty and Veronica #5

Almost at the end now. Last issue was basically just filled with tweenage shenanigans instead of the initial plot they were trying to run with so hopefully this one will remember the whole purpose to this stupid cross over and get with the program.

Ooh, look, they managed to put out a cover that DOESN'T involve cheerleaders in any major way! *

*There still is a cheerleader costume here but it's not the focus point. 






I'm probably jaded but the second cover is just making ME think of road safety regulations. I'm also wondering why Harley is not the one driving. Probably so she can show off her thong more.
Yeah, didn't we get quite enough of that in the Rocksteady Arkham-verse?



Anyway, these covers are the best we've had for a while in this series, even if Archie is crammed in there like 'totally still in this comic guys! please buy it!' and Hartly and Ronivy are just.. shoved in as an after thought shaped like a stinky fart. It's a bit bizarre.

(It also looks like they're running from a bunch of goblins shooting stars at them?)

Especially when - yup - these are adult women in teenage bodies mackin' on some teenage boy.
Archie looks uncomfortable... everyone should feel uncomfortable about this. That said, the eyes are nice on that cover, in a lifeless kind of way.

Also - brush your hair Ivyca, you feral.

Harley and Ivy meet Betty and Veronica #4

Ah, how this series makes me nostalgic for high school bullshit. Wait, no it doesn't! High school was bullshit!

I'm kinda getting sick of seeing these cheerleader covers. Like.. this series still hasn't told me if Veronica is actually a cheerleader so I guess it's just that people like drawing older women in high schooler's bodies wearing cheerleaders outfits. Should we just be lucky Betty and Veronica don't go to a religious school too?









Anyway, we last left off with Ronnie still thinking he was the Joker after a whack to the noggin' and his intervention has somehow helped Betley and Ronivy instead of getting them all killed.

I get the girls using the distraction to their advantage but let's be frank. What is going on in panel 2 there? Are they leaping towards or attacking their foes or is this just a show of power?
There's no perspective and only later are we shown that they are anywhere near Reggie-Joker. Seemingly AFTER the thugs leave the scene.
I do like Ronivy's hippie talk though, that was pretty funny.

They decide to hide from the cops in a tree that Ronivy mutates - the tree subsequently falls down but manages to hide them anyway.

Next, we're back at highschool with Hartty and Ivyca. They can't remember anyone's name and don't even respond to their own 'names.' The Blossom twins - look, who even are these people I don't read Archie comics! - appear and start some drama about not being invited to the party.

Hartty even tries to blow their cover even further by bemoaning being back at high school...

Suicide Squad New 52 #9

This issue picks up where the last one left off, and by that I means in classic New 52 Suicide Squad style it just chucks you in anywhere and continuity be damned!

The cover isn't too bad - King Shark looks ridiculous as usual, El Diablo looks like he's trying to smack Light's booty.

I know Light's doing the booty and boobies pose but it doesn't look exploitative, surprisingly. My main issue with her is that her pants meld into her boots. It's weird. Stop doing that in comics.
Also her arm thingies are missing. AGAIN. Someone fire the Suicide Squad's wardrobe department.

The background is decent, Resurrection Man is eh. True, I don't know much about this character but from what I do know he's pretty much Multi-Man but with surprisingly more in the angst department. I prefer Multi-Man.

Harley and Ivy meet Betty and Veronica #3

Originally I was going to do a review of Batman and Harley Quinn, but then I found out that the sequel comic was out before the prequel comic and that made me irrationally angry and confused (especially over which one's Harley Quinn and Batman and which is Batman and Harley Quinn) so I decided do review something else.

Then I remember that this comic kinda sucks too but now I'm already committed so dammit!!

Alright then - covers first. Main cover... nothing to write home about. I'm pretty sure they just reused the same image of Hardly Quinn jumping (what, is she the new Pikachu now? Even that guy has branched out though!) and then the rest of that cover and the variant cover decided to drive home the cheerleader fetish but not in a porno way, more in an all American cheerleader style.

That's fine I guess, as long as you actually DELIVER on the whole cheerleader thing. I wanna see these skills not just have someone exposition that they're staying alive *because* of unseen cheerleader skills. That's bull turd. And question? Why is Betty's uniform torn on the first cover? Oh, she's got knuckle dusters and spiky cuffs, she's supposed to be Harley. Meanwhile, Betty has the decency to at least do up her shoelaces while running from Harley's foes. While the second cover looks better art wise, I gotta say I was expecting a comparison of Ivy and Veronica instead of the old 'my shadow's alive and someone else' gag.
Well, fool me once I guess.



When we last left off, there was some lame drama about body switching which I also called BS on because the art/story was very unclear about it (just lots of screaming and fainting from Betty ans Veronica's perspective) and I remember thinking it was stupid that two teenagers and two adults had interchangeable bodies.


Well, more on that story because they totally did switch bodies, and conveniently both sets of girls wake up in bed together to figure that out! Man, just think of how many pages we would have lost if Betty had been taken to her own house and Harley and Ivy dumped in their own hideouts or on some Gotham Street corner.

Veronica's maid doesn't realise anything's amiss and Catwoman is... decidedly caring in this. Kinda weird.




I mean, damn, the Lodge's lodge must have a bajillion rooms and they bunk these two together. Especially after the fighting and the fainting - no doctors on call?

Harley and Ivy meet Betty and Veronica #1

Oct 2017
Part 1 of 6
Writers: Paul Dini and Marc Andreyko
Artist: Laura Braga

What's the Story?

Free college tuition for all Riverdale residents?! That’s the plan-after the town drains the wetlands that lie between it and Gotham City and then builds a new campus. The only snag? A certain botany-obsessed super-villain.
When Poison Ivy enlists her bestie, Harley, to kidnap both Veronica Lodge, daughter of Riverdale’s most important citizen, and her friend Betty, she’s counting on some assistance-and the mayhem that ensues will probably work as well!
DC Comics and Archie are proud to present the adventure of a lifetime for all these best pals. Their hijinks are brought to you by the real-life team-up of Paul Dini (HARLEY QUINN) and Marc Andreyko (WONDER WOMAN ’77), with art by Laura Braga (DC BOMBSHELLS)!

What the Heck?

I'll be honest, when this solicitation was announced I was confused and pretty sure I wasn't going to actually review it because.. well, why?

Some of these recent cross overs just seem like complete balderdash, anything with Harley in it just seems to be a blatant cash grab and I don't know jack about the whole Archies thing. 

All I know is that there are two girls named Betty and Veronica - one's blonde and one's dark haired. They hang out and fight over a ginger named Archie. There was an awesome 'sugar sugar' song that came out of it ...... and that's all I know. Some other knowledge is vaguely tied in there too like Sabrina the Teenage Witch and Josie and the Pussycats being tied up in this lark. 

Apparently this whole Archies thing is an American rite of passage where everyone knows about it even if they weren't born in the 60's. 

Well... I'm a young British born Australian. A new audience for you. Market to me!

Let's do this!

So the original cover is actually nice and reminds me why Amanda Connor got popular in the first place. There's clearly a lot more effort here than her usual covers though. The girl's hair looks really well done, the vinyl seat is rendered really nice, the table reflecting the scene above is a good idea.. 

It's a bit disappointing that the girls have stick figure arms and it's still weird seeing Connor/Palmiotti's lobotomised love interest of Poison Ivy doing cutesy things.... I do have to wonder what it is they're actually drinking because it looks oddly mouldy on one side of the milkshake. Hardly's eyes are bugging out something fierce. Archie gets little to no attention and may not even have arms but that's apparently fine because he's a dude and no one cares what he looks like. 

Now the variant cover is by Adam Hughes and...
Okay does anyone else think that he's purely phoned this one in?

Harley's face looks to be in his style but the rest of her body looks like.. shit we're running out of time just draw anything out of proportion, it doesn't matter is she has no internal organs or a waist or a butt or anything...

To the right is an example of his work with Harley Quinn.
Notice anything different?

The rest of the girls in the line up look fine, they look human and well rounded enough to look healthy and right for their body types but damn, look at Harley's elbow and compare it to her stomach. It's almost as big. You know, I know there are plenty of jokes about Adam Hugh's detailed work making him run out of schedule but if that's the case.. ask him to do one for the first issue and use it in the second issue so it will be on time! Buuuut they won't because they want his star power. 

The only other issue I have with the cover is that someone has clearly taken inspiration from Rihanna for whatever Poison Ivy's got going on.

Naturally, I can't find the exact picture I'm thinking that I've already saw of RiRi that was like this but it's kinda like if these two photo's mated and then grew a severe attitude.