Harley Quinn in DCeased - Issue 1

So this year's Marvel Zombies kicks off with... oh wait, this is DC. Hmm.
Well, I gotta say I approve of the name. Very good with branding. On point, even.
Still, can it live up to Marvel Zombies? Wait, it's not zombies but a plague? Oh, like Contagion! Yeah, that was an ace comic too.

Let's have a quick look at the synopsis...

“I looked, and there before me was a pale horse! It's rider was Death, and Hades was following close behind him.”-Revelation 6:8

A mysterious techno-virus has been released on Earth, infecting 600 million people and turning them instantly into violent, monstrous engines of destruction. The heroes of the DCU are caught completely unprepared for a pandemic of this magnitude and struggle to save their loved ones first…but what happens to the World’s Greatest Heroes if the world ends? New York Times best-selling writer Tom Taylor (INJUSTICE) returns with a terrifying new tale and is joined by artists Trevor Hairsine (LEGENDS OF THE DARK KNIGHT) and Stefano Gaudiano (The Walking Dead).

Wait... it's sort of plague zombies but technologically sparked then physically transmitted?

.................Is this like a smartphone STD public awareness campaign??
Greeeeaaaat, I'll just put it here besides the one for Herpes-Bathwater.







Opening up on the Justice League ganging up in the schoolyard to harass Darkseid. Scenes like this make me so thankful for Green Arrow.. like, he is such a welcome relief against the stark stone faces of the rest of the League. Ha! The Uncomfortable Interacting With Others and Emoting  League, more like. Wow, I could be a founding member!
Seriously though, it's why I was so disappointed with CW's Flash and Green Arrow. Maybe Flash was a bit more like his comic counterpart, but they were both going for the gritty Batman sort of serious hero, but the core part of their character is their cheerful, humorous and understanding, empathetic personality. I get they were trying to avoid going too camp, but when you have to introduce other characters as comic relief when you should be able to have your main character be that - it's not right. It's like how I feel, when Harley Quinn's first cinematic appearance is slugged with her trashy New52 persona instead of her actual personality.

Right, the other thing I wanted to talk about with these opening pages is the fact that every other Justice League comic seems to recycle the whole "OHMIGAWSH BATMAN IS KEEPING TABS ON US! SHOCK HORROR!" I'm not one to normalise this stalky behaviour but it's like.. did they never meet Batman before this? Like, he's openly told them before he has a contingency plan in case any of them go rogue... does this just constantly get retconned?

This is a core part of Batman's character and it's also very important to have someone on the team be prepared, because frankly no one else on the League is going to do it. Like, Flash and Superman and Wonder Woman would never think bad of their colleagues, but then again, how many times have the heroes been corrupted and used against the people they love or the people they've sworn to protect?
Who else is gonna stop a super powered time bomb? A paranoid loner smarty-pants Bat, that's who.

Harley Quinn: Premium Format Figure - Sideshow Collectibles

Sideshow Collectibles has been hard at work making some nice things that I can't afford right now, (and also spelling collectables in a way that offends both my British sensibilities and my spellchecker, but that's another matter entirely) so I thought I'd spend a little time talking about one of their new statues.

One thing I really appreciate with Sideshow is that they seem to understand the appeal of the classic Harley Quinn along with her various reiterations. They're also good at interpreting Classic Harley Quinn for people who want something 'new' without going as far as say, the Suicide Squad movie version of her outfit which is basically two-toned apples and oranges and a far cry from what she started out in.

That and their items are really high quality - hence the 'premium format figure' name being trademarked by Sideshow. They go above and beyond to make sure what they sell is great and packed with fun props/features and detailed bases. So, let's get into it.

Starting with the interchangeable faces - here we have two options. One has a skinny domino mask which showcases her eye make-up, which is sort of thickly winged out and has more traditional clown 'tears' make-up. Her eyes are ringed by light red colouring - which I think is meant to be a nod to her current style - one eye blue one eye pink/red - as opposed to the usual clown face paint.

This head has white greasepaint with a very very underhanded and pleasing blush effect. Her lips are a dark red with a bit of a black tinge - which combined with her displeased expression makes Harley look like a much more dramatic character. I like her loose pigtails - the colour is nice, I'd almost forgotten what she looked like without the dip dye! - and the highlights weaved through the natural looking strands looks realistic.

On the other hand - the other Harley head has a much wider domino mask - almost as wide as her cheerful yet vaguely garish grin. Her lipstick is just dark red, and looks a lot like Joker's smile, with the edges of her lips exaggerated and almost brought out into a Chelsea Smile. Her face has the same greasepaint and blush tones as the other head, but is encased in her classic jester hat. Her eyes have more of a smoky look to them - light greys gradually getting darker. Her eyeliner is still winged out and heavy towards the end. 

DC Comics Red White & Black Harley Quinn Statue (John Timms vs Frank Cho)

Normally when I review a Harley Quinn volume 3 solo comic, I will place the standard and the variant cover beside each other and critique them. If you haven't guessed by the title of this post, I'm gonna do the same with some statues based on their artwork.

But wait, doesn't Guillem March do the covers now? Yeah, but I've already reviewed HIS statue and it's way out of these guys' league. So, we're stuck with John Timm (interior art) and Frank Cho (variant covers).

Already there's a huge difference between these statues.

YEAH, prepare to get butt hurt because  I'm talking about Harley's size!
 
I have mentioned that I'm not a fan of Timm's elongated, skinny ass butt-less wonder serial killer before.

This is not to be mean to women on the skinner side, but Harley - pretty much until the New 52 where she lost a lot of weight/boobs/muscles and started living in her lingerie - had always been drawn on the more slightly voluptuous side, but not like Cho's cheesecakey nostalgia art.

There's no happy medium.


Personally, I liked that she had a normal, not over-sexualised figure in her original form. It really helped lay down that Harley was - despite being a pro-athlete - basically a regular person who just fell into the criminal clown lifestyle. Like, Catwoman - you go around calling yourself a feline, you better be lithe and flexible! Poison Ivy based a large part of her schemes around attracting and duping men, so you better believe she's a bombshell. Harley was different. As long as she could flip around and be clown like, it didn't really matter what size she was.

The problem I had with Timm's interior art was that everything seemed to lose scale. Harley was always drawn like freakin' Plastic Man and her splash panels were always so, so stretched out (and crammed to the brim with exposition-ey speech bubbles) while she literally TOWERED over her colleagues like a slightly more colourful Slender Man and then there was her face.

I get that the art's not there to please me personally - I mean, it would be nice - but honestly Timm struggles with drawing faces. As in, the angles someone's head is turning, as in the crowd Harley is standing in has the exact same faces as everyone else, it's hard to tell what is hair and what's not plus Harley's nose is always red. This bothers me. Is it a cocaine habit? Is it cold? New found cat allergies? Is it too hard to find her nose on her pasty face otherwise? What?!

I think it was a carry on from Amanda Conner's stupid redesign - but I mean look how many years we've had of Harley doing white face and not having a ruby red sniffer? Even the New 52 didn't screw that up which is saying something! 

Cho meanwhile - is probably the nearest we've had to the Dodson's art from the original Harley solo run since Adam Hughes. Now they could do faces! Bodies! Humour!!! Oh, please come back to Harley Quinn -- Dodson team!

Birds of Prey trailer released

You know why it's called a trailer? Because they're often linked to vehicles. As in.. my fears are becoming founded.. and Maggot Hurley is just erasing the entire awesome of Birds of Prey in favour of a Harley Quinn fame train because.. because she has Hollywood clout.. and likes herself too much I guess? I'm not linking it, if you wanna waste half a minute of your life then you can search for it.

The actual title of this movie is
Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn)

Well...... when a 34 second clip of a DC comics title Harley Quinn has literally nothing to do with shows about 25 seconds of Maggot Hurley swanning around acting drunk and trying to do the seductive lollipop thing but failing miserably... aaaand the ACTUAL Birds of Prey get squished into a couple of seconds with a hideous amount of quick shots - so quick you can barely tell what's going on and who anyone is. Plus, the titular Birds have to share this time with what's supposed to be the villains, I guess and then the whole 'fade to black/see you soon' thing.


So... that's really disappointing. Not gonna lie.

Besides, you can't just whip out a fantabulous word like you're a knock off Willy Wonka!
Girl, you're not even a second rate drag queen!

"Guess who went dumpster bin op-shopping again! .....MEEEE!!!!"

I remember reading something she said back when Suicide Squad was about to come out - something about how she read a couple of comics and just didn't 'get' the character. Man, this is becoming clearer and clearer each day. I mean, I GET wanting to make a 'new' version of a character for the big screen, I do. Lord knows everyone else freakin' has their own version of Harley Quinn. At the same time, if you're not going to even be true to a tiny bit of the character's origins... why bother?

Next it'll be an unfunny Joker, a Batman that shoots people and a Superman that doesn't care.
OH WAIT.

Harley Quinn in DC Universe animated series - Kaley Cuoco

We now have the trailer for the Harley Quinn Animated Series... and it looks a lot better than what I was imagining.

Ugh.

What are they doing though? Purely hiring from The Big Bang Theory roster? That said, I liked Melissa Rauch's turn and I think Kaley Cuoco does a decent job too. It's perky, without being annoyingly squeaky. I definitely think we've had enough Tara Strong jobs.. besides, she's normally got a million other roles going on.

I am SUPER GLAD they did not actually get Maggot Robbutt for this. That would have been cringe city, especially now her shit version of Harley is confirmed to be stinking up at least two more DC films. DC is struggling enough with the film industry, Maggot!

Anyway, it'll be interesting to see what they're gonna do with the cartoon..
Harley taps the camera and addresses us through a fourth wall so not sure if she's gonna be doing that the whole time or if that's just for the trailer. Well, she addresses New York anyway. What else is there in the world? Nothing, apparently. Nothing. Depressing... but at least I'll have a bit more free time because we don't have the comic cons that matter.. *sheds single tear*

Harley is wearing her classic headpiece along with her Arkham Asylum oranges but she does have her white paint job, sadly. Bunking with Poison Ivy - who is thankfully more sarcastic and bull-shit calling here - tells Harley that the general populace will hate it because they hate everything. Ivy is also reading Mad Love, in their joint cell.

Behind her is a poster of an ab baring man with Joker's mugshot plastered over his head. 

They take pot shots at the gritty DCEU and Deadpool's animated series... Batman swings by to admonish them for having fun and Harley comments that she likes the new logo..



The only thing that didn't grab me was the swearing and advertising gratuitous violence.

Don't get me wrong, I love watching and doing both of those things, but when it's something you're advertising to get people interested... it's just a turn off. Like Maggot spitting out 'pussy' in the suicide Squad movie... she sounded so juvenile and like she was trying too hard. Is this series going to be the same thing?

DC Collectables Harley Quinn Red, White and Black Statue by Guillem March

So this DC Collectables Harley Quinn Red, White and Black Statue by Guillem March popped up in my emails today. I admit, when I saw it I was like oh no! Not another one!

Honestly, sometimes I think DC is staying afloat on Harley Quinn merchandise alone - which is probably why there seem to be more Red, White and Black collectables for Harley then there are Black and Whites for Batman. Or... you know.. any other character they have in their arsenal.

It sucks because we're seriously cutting down on the Harley Quinn merch. If it's not something extremely awesome or something we've been chasing down since the early 2000's then we aren't going to be bothered.

Anyway, this statue seems pretty cool. Let's check it out.

Batman Ninja

Here's another version of Harley Quinn but set in feudal Japan as part of Batman: Ninja - an upcoming animated feature involving the Batman cast being transported to that era for some reason.
Actually, I keep reading that in the limited descriptions around but I'm not sure if the story is going to be ABOUT them all being sent to this Japan stage or if it's just an Elseworlds type story where Batman is established as a ninja already because that's who he is in this timeline.

Personally, I think it's going to be the latter and that would make for a much better story in my opinion but we'll see where they go with it.

There is super hype around a Harley Quinn/Catwoman fight but I can even look past the Catwoman obligatory ass shot because the fight looks amazing already!

They seem to have her doing her licky thing again though..

Between Maggot Robbie and New52 Harley Quinn, I feel like they're trying their best to be the whole VMA Miley Cyrus thing all over again. No one understood it then, no one likes it now.
STOP LICKING THINGS ALL THE TIME.

DCAU: Suicide Squad - Hell to Pay

First things first - this hasn't come out yet, but we already know it's going to be better than actual Suicide Squad. Time will tell if it's as good as Assault on Arkham. Speaking of... this new Suicide Squad animated movie won't be in the same.. "universe" .... so it's not a sequel.

Yeah, that's right. This Suicide Squad is DCAU while Assault on Arkham is technically more in the Arkham game universe. Which is why everyone looks different.

It's good because Deadshot is not built like a tank in the new one (which I always thought was stupid because he's the gun guy, the sniper... it wouldn't matter if he was skinny or short. Why can I fit two of me in AOA Deadshot's silhouette alone?? Why are his shoulders so far away from his neck?? How is he alive??) I don't like Killer Frost's redesign in HTP as much as her AOA one... it just doesn't seem to have any personality?
Boomerang is pretty much the same.. that's fine. Harley...

Oh Harley.

Harley looked amazing in AOA - even if her modified bodysuit revealed her most dangerous weapon - not the dirty-bomb mallet but the razor sharp bony ass hips she had - and she was blatantly used as a sex object for most of the movie (kinda like Maggot Robbie, but the animated version at least had a character arc and some decent lines!) 

This HTP Harley looks kinda hideous, face wise. You guys already know that I think the blue/pink eye shadow is a terrible costume choice. At least she has face paint on her original flesh tone body, not the Joker dip dye, I guess. It just seems weird that she's wearing evening gloves and matching thigh high stockings.. with generic Daisy Duke jeans and hipster sneakers? 

Harley Quinn: Monarchs

There are two things here - either this is happening or it's not.

At first when I saw the headline for Swiss actress Lara Pictet to play Harley Quinn in a web series named Monarchs I was like cool, it's not Margot Robbie and this one's actually pretty. Again, still don't get the hype over Margot's looks. Maybe people like that but to me, she's just another Hollywood blonde but with squinty eyes and a penchant for ruining my favourite characters and flashing her (word here used generously) bits.

Honestly, people hack into celebrities personal photos and release sensitive ones - you know, illegally, and they are forced to defend themselves for their private actions/called sluts or worse. Then on the other hand, we have Kim Kartrashian and Maggot Robbie making a living off showing their nekkid selves and no one has an issue? Smells wrong.

ANYWAY - there's not much about this series but some pages say it's a new web series that is DC inspired and they're hoping DC will pick it up officially.


The concept of the show is basically a 'how this person became this villain' origin stories series.




Here's what some interviewers have posted about it - nothing official from DC yet.