Harley Quinn And The Birds Of Prey #2

Well here am I, sat in front of an uphill battle of reviewing something that is admittedly out of date and even after a long hiatus I'm out of patience for. Self loathing is a trip, I tell ya. 

August 2020

Same as last issue, written by Palmiotti and Conner again with Conner still doing the art. As you probably know by reading nearly any of my blog posts (another fun word for them is rants!) these guys aren't my favourites. Conner's art is fairly clean, which I appreciate but... 

Eh. As much as the taglines like to spout that these guys really push the boundaries, push the envelope, push the shopping trolleys, push the fourth wall and anything else that needs a shove... they really don't. This is the exact same as their other Harley Quinn run - from the cover layout that I've seen a million times before, the over explained re-cap with a zillion speech bubbles, the billion other characters that Harley is given precedence over, the trillion times we're reminded that Harley is now a crass horndog who really doesn't care about anyone else and the bajillion times we have to hear the same unfunny beaver jokes. 

If I can say something nice about the cover, it's that I like the Harley grenade and the logo is fairly inoffensive. The rest is just... really generic and flat. It's clear Conner loves making this art... but I know she can do better (well, maybe) and not be as lazy as this. 

So, as mentioned earlier we have a huge recap complete with over dramatic Harley even though nothing really happened in the last issue. Well things did happen, but it's nothing that Harley cares about, it's just a lame pretense for her to run away from her girlfriend troubles or the mundane issues like helping her friends recover and find a home because she wants revenge on the eeeevil loan mob she chose to deal with, even though she literally just murdered a huge bunch of them and didn't pay them the money she owed because she was off trying to simultaneously smooch and kill Ivy. 

This is not me being a Harley hater. This is me re-capping what the Harley in this series alone has done. She decided her best course of action was to take a fun road trip to get away from her immediate problems instead of helping her friends and co-workers. 

The Gang of Harleys almost died, they're homeless and with the exception of maybe Coach - they've lost their FREAKING EYEBALLS! 

It just got straight up Little Orphan Annie in here! 

DC Universe: Suicide Squad #2

Writer: Tom Taylor
Art/cover: Bruno Redondo

Let me start by saying I enjoy Tom Taylor's take on Harley from Injustice so I'm actively looking forward to a much less cringe version of her in this series than usual. 

The artist is good too - only the cover is a bit distracting for me because all through my post-high school education I would buy these cheap notebooks for classes from the campus store, and they ALL had this swirly design on them, in various colours but including this exact scheme. So it's a little flash backy for me, like I suddenly remember I have an assignment due tomorrow when I look at this! Also... there are a lot of characters winking at me here... and this concerns me. 

Did I miss an in-joke? Are they cracking onto me? Is the background too bright for them too?

Now this issue opens with the ending, which is cool so we'll come back to that at the end - fittingly.
Besides, I like this part better. Yes, I know Scale and Fin annoyed me in the first issue, but Fin suffering without Scale - more interesting. Bit of character development. Looking at him sitting there in his solitary tank, mourning his brother not just for the fact that he was a relative, but because of their telepathic connection - I felt sorry for him. I want him to get revenge. I want him to grow from this. All these feelings intensify when King Shark appears and reveals he can both hear Fin and cause more devastation by what he wants to show him.

I don't really get the next part, either Fin has the fist bump power of ten men, his glowing torso is his power level or he psychically enhanced his tackle attack but he smashes said five inch glass to have a go at Shark - which, you know, fair enough. Both of them get tasered before much can happen, but still. Looked cool.

Then we go from this dark, aquatic revenge flick to a super bright, super close up of Harley yelling about how insane everything is as Deadshot and herself walk alongside Lok. This I could deal with  (after my eyes adjust of course) but damn, she just had to get one more jab in at poor Cavalier, who was clearly too beautiful for this cruel world.
She does get psychically shut up though, so that helps. Should be noted that not only Lok was annoyed with Harley's yapping but Deadshot also seems a bit bothered by what happened last issue.

Anyway, Lok's taking the current Squad walkies to see the Revolutionaries who are currently enjoying their glass cubes.

Wonder Woman: Agent of Peace #1

Commitment to Chaos

During a run-in with a villainous crime syndicate, Wonder Woman learns about a hit list whose biggest target is a familiar name – Harley Quinn! Can the Champion of Paradise Island track down the Clown Princess of Crime before it’s too late?

Writers: Conner/Palmiotti
Artist: Miranda

Colours: Hi-Fi

April 2020

There's not a lot of variation in these two covers, Wonder Woman looking "off-screen" at whatever threat she's countering. Harley Quinn acting tough behind her, and in BOTH covers manages to make direct eye contact with the reader. I'm not the biggest fan of Conner's artwork.. but good gravy it looks like something from the Louvre next to the horrible body shapes and contortions that the variant gives us. What happened to variant Diana's shoulder and stomach?? Why are variant Harley's boobs looming like visions of doom from the future.... larger than life and certainly larger than her head! 

I first became aware of this comic from the Wonder Woman fan page on Facebook, and the majority of comments were "Why is Harley here? She's way over-saturated" which  is true, she really is. Combined with the fact that both the former writers and artist hail from the Harley Quinn solo series, there is not a doubt in my mind that Wonder Woman is going to get sidelined in her own series. 

The last time these two got involved it was like a really weird fan fiction where not only was Wonder Woman sidelined, but she was really out of character for the sake of having her team up with the Brooklyn Babbler. 

Well, I'm wearing my Wonder Woman shirt.. let's see if this issue is at least better than that time. 

Opening on Wonder Woman wandering through some city - we get some exposition about buildings collapsing randomly followed by some real estate fraud but it doesn't say where she is. I haven't kept up as late with the current Wonder Woman but she used to be based around Washington DC either for her museum or Dept. of Metahuman affairs, New York for her embassy or Boston for her agency.. 

I guess we're in generic USA City. Wonder Woman looks a bit like a strung out supermodel and because it wouldn't be a Conner/Palmiotti book without it, there's obligatory scenes of both gushing fan girls and authoritarian-stereotypical tough guys for the heroine to beat up. 

Birds of Prey Episode 6: Primal Scream

Well, it's been a while since I've done one of these, and even though this iteration is elseworlds, it's still more canon than the "Birds of Prey" movie so let's go!

Detective Reece fiddles with the fancy new ring he got out of a Christmas cracker, then lo and behold...HUNTRESS APPEARS! She had to wait until the ambulance passing distracted him so she could make her grand arrival, so she was probably sitting up a tree waiting patiently for a few minutes. He's impressed by her timing, she's bragging about her speed like she's a pizza delivery or courier mail service, he wants to get onto talking about kicking it up a notch in their relationship, she's not sold and I'm over here thinking HOW did she know where he was AND how did she get there so fast, she just has to be stalking this guy, seriously.

Anyway, they're off flirting or whatever it is that's not an emergency but meanwhile, the club is getting shot up by a bunch of motorcycle dorks wearing animal head pieces. I mean, I'm kinda impressed by the skill it must have took to ride the motorbike and hold up a club while wearing something that may impede your vision, but the furry in me is offended at how lazy their costumes are. I mean, just the heads? No tails or anything?? Maaaaan!

That said, it may not just be a gang gimmick because when the bartender pulls a gun, Cathead does some super speed ninja-ing to save a wolf friend. Props for this one thug to go the cartoon route when their colleagues clearly decided on an ultra-realistic theme. You might even say this lone wolf went against the pack mentality? Hehehe.

Then just to show she's super cool, cat lady downs a random drink at the bar which is a very bad example. I mean, that drink could have been spiked, backwashed in, or just taste feral.
This gang at least seem to care enough about each other, and are also their own hype men. But wait... why does cat lady have a similar necklace to the one Helena was wearing? Her penchant for leather outerwear and fancy violence?? Probably because...

*pause for dramatic reveal*

It IS Helena!

DC Bombshells #14 Combat pt 5 of 9

When we last left off with DC Bombshells, the good doctor Harley had just abandoned her post... crashed a few parties.... dumped Green Lantern and stole a plane. Just a typical night out in London. Am British by birth - can confirm.

Harley flies over the English Channel (comic puts her at 3 miles from Calais, France but still in 1940) singing her best mutilated Christmas Carol when she's shot down by no less than three tanks. I mean, it IS a special occasion after all. Harley doesn't mind, she rides one of the overlarge shells down in her best Dr. Strangelove impersonation - never mind that the shell must be scorching her thighs, there's debris everywhere, she's falling to her imminent doom and she's wearing a bikini top and mini shorts in the frigid weather.

Luckily, she lands safely in a random greenhouse. Her irritation at the shell for.... not going off? ...is somewhat abated by the appearance of a mysterious, yet clearly armed woman.

Batman: The Dark Prince Charming #1

I've been wanting to do this review for a while, basically since I heard it existed.

Jan 2018
Story and art by Enrico Marini

I'm a big fan of people who write and create/draw their own visions. So many Manga stars do this, and just have a crew to help with backgrounds and inks etc. I mean, not wanting to kick people who can't draw, because on the other hand some people who can draw can't write the story or can't do the inking or colours. But it's like - when someone writes the story, then goes and makes it - you're seeing exactly what they envisioned with the story.

Plus it's a standalone story with a new version of Joker and Harley Quinn. Wait, that doesn't sound like me recently. Wasn't I sick of all the conflicting versions of Harley? Yes. This is true. But, back in my early fandom this sort of thing was exciting. It was cool to go from the Harley Quinn in BTAS
to the blood soaked, unforeseen psychosis of Thrillkiller Harley. Later on or I guess more recently - I would say the same thing about the stupid solo version of Harley and then latching onto the Injustice version for sweet relief.

Also the detail in this scene is amazing... and the subject matter quite terrifying.

Opening on a little girl in a dodgy looking basement. Oh, well, that's mean. The basement is quite nice for a basement and looks functional as hell, but it's not the kind of basement a young girl would like to be in by herself after being kidnapped. That's what I'm saying. Especially when the Joker is coming down the stairs. In Gotham. I mean, you don't wanna be in Gotham at the best of times but yeah, this, this is not that time.

It's not even safe in stately Wayne Manor. First Bruce gets a suspicious gift decked out in Joker colours, then he has to go and stop a clown robbery.

On the plus side, Gotham has a nice selection of rooftops. 

Damn the art is nice in this. Also, The Joker is his own thing in this yet somehow a mix of what made him funny in BTAS, crazy like in the Joker standalone, in love with Harley like in White Knight and obsessed with Batman like.. well, like a lot of things he's been in.

Not one, not two, but three sex puns? Niiiice.

Side note - if you're driving a loaded semi in peak hour traffic in Gotham while reading a nudie magazine.... you kinda deserve to be hit by a clown with a bat hood ornament. Just saying.

American Horror Story: 1984 and Harley Quinn - Criminal Psychologist

I am a long time fan of American Horror Story, but I do admit that some seasons are hit or miss. Plus, they don't really screen it here in Australia unless you have some fancy TV channel subscriptions..

Essentially, loved Murder House - Asylum didn't grab me and the twists at the end were kinda left field... Coven was alright but often felt like the story was built around Stevie Nicks songs and lost momentum/direction after the first few episodes. Freak Show was pretty good overall but did get a bit preachy towards the end, Hotel seemed like the Lady Gaga show and took a long time for me to get interested in it, and I'm not sure I even finished watching it. Because of the aforementioned issue with screenings.. I didn't get to see Roanoke or Cult (although I plan to catch up soon) and basically forgot they came out until a work colleague was talking about the next season. Apocalypse was amazing and I was keen on it all again. So, here we are at Season 9, with 1984.

Thus far, 5 episodes in - I am LOVING IT. It's a real love letter to 1980's slasher flicks, and heaped with nostalgia for the era. The characters are memorable, the soundtrack is amazing and the banter is witty. There are genuine laughs in here. Plus, unlike Stranger Things - there is gore galore.

So, with that said - let's have a look at one particular character that echoes our dear Harley Quinn in so many ways.

Spoiler alert!! Episodes 1-5 only.

Batgirl #18 'O, Harley Night!'

Judging by the snow and the red and green coloured title, it's already going to be an American Christmas. Why did I specify that? Because I'm English, but now live in Australia.. where the concept of it snowing at Christmas, which is generally the meltiest time of the year but it's because the heat soars higher than any sleigh, and the drops falling are just filthy sweat... not snow.

There is a reason why we amend our Santas to look like this;

for if we don't... THEY SUFFER FROM OVERHEATING. 

So the general or popular opinion that you have to be buried in ten feet of snow for it to be actually Christmas gets a bit grating at times but yeah, sure, it's set in American and it's comics so sure. Ok.

But of course - our Harley is still running around wearing her usual outfit and ... a scarf?
Like - OH NO, It's cold! Better wear a scarf with fluffy boots and not like... do my jacket up or.. heaven forbid, wear pants or something covering my midriff!

She also adds purple and green leggings to her already horrible mish mash of red/black/pink/blue. Why? Who knows. Also not a massive fan of the change of Batgirl costume. I know - I'm behind the times there and it does seem to suit her more youthful appeal but you just can't beat the classics.
Also, how did Harley beat Batgirl to the point where she's just casually looking up at this arse clown while her back is surely breaking? And that my friends, is a 'too soon' for me moment.

Variant cover is alright, Harley is channelling Joker in the face but it's still better than wearing a band-aid on her mug like in cover one. At least here she commits to the Christmas theme and goes full red and green - even though she's wearing booty shorts, at least her jumper is done up and she's wearing warm gloves. The jingle bell belt is nice and I approve of the pigtail fluffy scrunchies and the the British looking old school lamps in the snow, however it seems like Batgirl was drawn by a different artist? And why is her hair made of spray paint? Still, the little gift-bomb is a nice touch.

So - why is this happening?  Let's have a look.

BrazzersExtra - Riley Reid (Harley in the Nuthouse XXX Parody)

The irony of Harley being straight-jacketed in a padded cell while still wearing her killer stilettos is not lost on me.

She's also got a lot of make-up and hair product in. Like.. how long has she been in her cell? Is she not going to get like, a ton of zits and knots from this?


Movie takes about 2 minutes to warm up with some back story - a brief into to some new doctor being brought into Arkham Asylum but for the most part it's a glorified photo shoot for Harley.
Which is fine, but a lot of the shots are repeated and I don't mean they recycled the footage, I mean they reshot NEW footage of Riley doing what she had been doing before. Namely, biting at the camera, licking her lips and acting crazy while lights flicker and someone starts tunelessly humming a "la-la-la" song.

Again, is fine I guess. Even though she's hamming it up with a Hollywood version of fun-crazy, it's still more believable than Maggot's Suicide Squad Harley.

Did I mention I liked the name of the last one I watched? Yeah, this one's better. At first I wasn't impressed but then I was like.. did they just fetishise a crazy person while simultaneously making a male deposit joke about asylums? Niiiiiice.

New doctor warned about avoiding Harley's cell immediately goes to Harley's cell and goes inside.
I'm not even mad. This could be actual writing from a DC comic about their under-trained, easily duped doctors.

Once inside, new doctor is a bit more confident but then screen fades to black as apparently Harley fells him with her baseball bat... that she presumably hid in her hidey hole, retrieved and then used while she was still restrained?
Damn. Gotta work on my kegels before I let the team down apparently!!

DC Universe: Harley Quinn #60

Holy crap, this issue only has one cover that I can tell! I don't
actually know what to do with myself..
There is so much confusion in my life right now and I honestly don't know what's real or not. Is up down, and vice versa? Is there a spoon? Is the world actually flat but not as bad ass as Discworld?

No, wait, I lied. Or rather, I was misled. There is a second cover where a fancy Harley contemplates killing a bat. I don't see why you would go to the trouble of dressing up like that and then keeping your normal hair style. Right? Keep it period appropriate.



Ohhhh... I see what happened here.... Harley's variant got kicked off of the digital copy I had to make room for Shazam! movie advertising. I still haven't seen that yet. Oh well. The ordinary cover's fine.. I guess. Nothing to write home about, it's not even a good parody of an overblown action movie because I'm sure I've seen at least ten other covers in her solo series just like this. Plus we're back with another speech bubble "pun". Like, it's too generic and so far over into 'Not Trying Land' ... why should we care?
Also Harley's ribs are visible through and over her tube top. That's... probably not good.

In fact, this whole issue is an up and down mixed bag of something. It constantly brings in a cool concept with the benefit of nice art, but then keeps dragging itself down with the terminal stupid and a bad case of the 'whatever, this is good enough to churn out an issue with'.

Starting off with a alien/horror movie setting jumping on from the ten seconds we saw of S.T.A.R. labs Coney freakin' Island last time. She's freaking out saying she's trapped and being hunted.. everything's dark and she's alone. This is good, it's a great set up and it makes you wonder how she got in this situation. It makes you wonder what she's going to encounter. It makes you wonder if this is real because Harley's being unusually sombre.

Then you realise that she's probably only in this situation so her fancy alien ray guns can match her stupid hair colour.

Then you get told this is what she's doing and why she's in this mess.

"Hi, it's me, Harley! Trying to be Deadpool by breaking that fourth wall! LOL!! Totally changed since the old stupid classic version of me but I'm still doing crimes! For my mom! Who has cancer! Haven't mentioned that in a while! You know my mom has cancer. Cancer mom!
Yeah, remember how she's already being treated by competent doctors? And how she tells me not to do anything stupid?? Lulz here I am breaking in to find some random magical cure I just invented in my head because there's no proof such a thing exists in this place! Or even if this building existed prior to today! So random!@! Rawr!!"

Porn Parody - Digital Playground's Suicide Squad

I have dipped my toe in, why not get the whole foot wet?
Uhh... that's supposed to be a pool analogy... maybe it doesn't work the best with a porn review.

Yes, I reviewed the other major one - Axel Braun's  version so now it's Digital Playground's turn.

This one stars Aria Alexander as Harley and Isiah Maxwell as Deadshot.

Now right off the bat - tee hee - you can tell this one is basically a vehicle for the Harley Quinn actress - Aria Alexander. The intro credits - even though very small, only show stylised images of Harley and hardly mentions a squad. There's the briefest of plots thrown our way as well... something about Lex Luthor in Gotham? It's not impossible.. but you know he's a Superman villain in Metropolis, right? Guys?

So we open with just Harley and Deadshot (like, there's REALLY no Squad at all, huh?) and first off I have an issue with Deadshot's headpiece.

My what a big... eyepiece... you have. Ain't that thing heavy? Harley's wig is not the best either. It's not the worst of the worst (Suicide Squad joke, anyone?) but every now and then you see the fake looking super shiny blonde-ness, or when she goes to flip her pigtail over her shoulder and the whole freaking thing shifts dramatically.

Perhaps I should mention that this thing is just over half an hour. So, what is the story?

DC Universe Harley Quinn #57

Alright, getting back into this. I've put it off for so long, I began to lose sense of self, sense of time, sense of smell... boy, it was pretty harsh. I don't even remember what happened in the last issue... unless it was that Christmas one, in which case it can go die in a fire because it sucked harder than any other made for TV Christmas special.

Right.. first cover, Harley looking guilty, covered in blood and her one redeemable tattoo from Suicide Squad - about to be attacked by Batman. Oh, sorry. HUNTED. HUNTED by Batman. I feel attacked is better, because how much hunting would it take to track down some gal covered in blood, standing over the corpse and holding the smoking gun as it were, when there is nothing else in this cover universe apart from Harley, Batman and the corpse? Second/variant cover is just Harley doing some random 'hey I have a gun! 'Murica!' pose and doesn't include Batman at all. Which means either the artist can't draw Batman, couldn't think of a good cover that made use of Batman or this cover was just a generic one someone pumped out that could have been put on any issue.

Both covers look okay though, I guess. Especially compared to the interior art.

I mean - in a nutshell - this is why I can't stand Timms.
This whole page.

First up the SUPER splash page with elongated Harley... and her obligatory thousand of speech bubbles exposition dump or waxing lyrical about some star or something while feeling so sorry for herself. Is she supposed to be praying or wishing on a star?

 Then, two smaller panels. One with her sort of looking around at something that we have no idea is there - there are no visual clues or sound effects to cause her to look around - and the second small panel I feel is redundant, it should have been included in the first small panel (along with a valid reason for her to butcher the English language) because she's basically doing the same thing - she hasn't even turned her head.

If I'd drawn this same page - I would have had maybe two larger panels instead of the splash. One with Harley talking to herself, not some stupid star - about how tough she's finding it and that she needs a break/isn't sure what to do etc. The second panel could be a continuance of this, but in the background - maybe we see something like a shooting star. This catches Harley's eye and prompts her to (in a long, single frame at the bottom) turn around and go "whoa, what was that?" which would lead up to her seeing what it was on the next page.

Or, if they were going to stick to their stupid star light star bright stuff because of what happens in the issue, why not show a shooting star in the sky behind her on that large splash?

I mean, it's not rocket science.

They can't even get her colours right, still. Sigh. 

Heroes in Crisis #3

Well, I just read the Harley Quinn Christmas issue and boy am I struggling with it. Just... not ready to process that mess just yet. Time for some therapy! Let's head on back to the sanctuary....

This first cover looks cool and the second cover isn't the best but it does recall that awesome moment when Wonder Woman killed Maxwell Lord for being an absolute dick.

..... What? I'm on Wonder Woman's side. A dilemma that would have caused several other characters to drag out the decision was solved in a snap of his jerk neck. Something Batman could probably learn from to be honest. And we all know it wasn't a decision she made easily or wanted to do, but it was the only way to protect thousands from a mind - controlled, violent Superman.


Now feedback on this series so far has been a bit mixed, I've seen a lot of negative remarks about Harley Quinn being over powered - more on that later! - and concerns about delving into superhero psychology. Now sure, no-one wants to see their favourite heroes comatose out of anxieties but you can't also deny that the work they do would lead to some major anxieties.

So far I'm tentatively enjoying the series, especially with scenes like this.

Here's three heroes in varying degrees of stays in the Sanctuary. Lagoon Boy has been here the longest - he has physical reactions he doesn't expect and can't control - he tries to brag about being master of the lagoon but it's overshadowed by his nervousness.

Next is Wally West. He's only been here a few weeks so he's still full of brags about being the fastest man alive... even though there's like ten fastest men alive (not counting the women) and I picture all of these fast, fast men whispering to themselves that they're the fastest, just so they can sleep at night. It does enforce one thing though - keeping a speedster in one place for two and a half weeks is a feat.

Last is Booster Gold. Now, he's known for his ego even though he's more of a B-lister generally speaking, so his speech isn't out of place. It does provide a comparison to the others though.





Or does it?