Harley Quinn: Make 'Em Laugh #1

2020
Writer: Mark Russell
Artist: Laura Braga
Colours: Luis Guerrero
Cover: Andrew Robinson

It’s hard out there for a freelancer! Looking to make some quick cash, Harley takes on odd jobs in her many wheelhouses—therapising bad guys, tracking down stolen art from the Gotham Art Museum...but when it turns out the thief has his own mental baggage to unpack, Harley’s got a real Thinker on her hands!


First things - not sure why this series is called 'make 'em laugh' and honestly I thought the sub title of 'Head Shrink' meant that this story was going to be about Harley seeing patients all day.

Gotta say, when I saw yet another Harley title I did get a bit aggro about it. I mean, it's really over kill at this point. Plus the cover did not grab me at all - Clayface is hyper-realistic but Harley doesn't match that at all, looking like a rough sketch with weird stick arms and severe Miley Cyrus tongue. The background is juvenile looking with the stars and visual onomatopoeia. I've seen worse covers but this one is a bit mismatched. Apart from that, I do like the poses and Clayface does look good.

Thankfully the interior art is beautiful - it's detailed, proportioned, the colours are amazing and the people all gesture, move and look like.. well, people! And this artist is Braga - who I previously panned for the weird art, backgrounds, poses and faces in Harley and Ivy meet Betty and Veronica. Well, what a damn turn around! You go girl!

However, the best part of the book is actually Harley. More on that later, let's have a look at the story.

Harley is using her psychiatry skills to pay the bills but is also taking up freelance work, like looking into an art thief for the Gotham Metropolitan Museum of Art. I like that the museum staff aren't too sure - one outright suggests this is crazy and Harley could even be responsible for the crime, the other doesn't seem to mind Harley too much but admits they're desperate. This is a nice change because when Harley did this freelance lark in her solo series it was either Harley forcing her way onto jobs and solving everything with violence or people being so far up her butt they couldn't tell she was the worst person they could have hired.

Gotham City Sirens #10 - Taking Sides

This is one of my favourite Gotham City Sirens covers ever. Even though it's got a rather dark palette, it still manages to be kind of pastel. At first glance you could mistake the poses for generic, over posed comic book fare, or something right out of a James Bond poster but the poses are so in character, it's great. Ivy frolicking around her garden, tending to one of her many plants. Harley looks like she's stretching before jumping into some crazy gymnastics move, and Catwoman is stood there like why am I with these people again?

I also quite like the crossword puzzle aesthetic, tying it into the inclusion of the Riddler.

When we last left off with the Gotham City Sirens, Edward Nigma had been helping them solve a murder they were seemingly being framed for, and had now found himself into some hot water as a result.

Luckily, our antagonist Dr. Aesop likes to monologue - maybe not surprising for someone who stole their name from the famous fables author - and between Riddler's deductions and Dr. Aesop's explanations the whole story comes out. Our Sirens are listening in from the skylight and it's revealed they were using Nigma the whole time.


Harley at least has the decency to feel bad about it, Ivy couldn't give a plant fertiliser and Selina is somewhere in between - doesn't really care but also doesn't want Eddie to get hurt because of it.

DC Animated - Hush Trailer

So the trailer for the animated adaption of DC's Hush dropped the other day and wow was I... disappointed.

Which sucks! I really enjoyed the Hush comics and when I saw a trailer for the adaption - which I didn't even know they were doing - I clicked straight away. But oh boy was my enthusiasm dampened. It was like that classic Libra advert where the woman uses a pad to absorb the murder victim's blood so there was no trace of any wrong doing by the time the cops got there. It was like my niece's food at snack time. All gone!

Before, we could proudly say "Well the DC live action movies suck hairy donkey balls but at least they're killing it in the animated movie department!"
Only now it's like the animated department is going the way the Disney live actions are, like basically remakes just to keep the trademarks but with little, insidious changes made. Also Will Smith is getting his filthy little fingers into all of these pies. ANYWAY - we know why The Killing Joke and Batman and Harley Quinn etc were weird or bad movies... what's happening with Hush?


Okay - so for those who don't know, I don't want to spoil anything so go and read it! But in bare bones, Batman finds several of his enemies from varying ranks seemingly teaming up against him, but in odd ways and being led by someone he can't pin down. He starts to get suspicious and paranoid, so he searches to find out what's happening while his relationships - old and new - come back to him. Also there's a lot of cameos.

The comics were great, the art was nice and it was really cinematic in the way it was laid out and the way they did flashbacks etc. It kept you guessing, and made you look for little connections. It was like Lost but with comic characters and a better ending.

So... the trailer opens with the Batman/Catwoman rooftop chase/flirt which was fine... only the way they cut the dialogue kinda weird so it's like Catwoman's all sultry "We've being doing this dance for a while..." cuts to "LIKE THE VIEW, YA CORNDOG? IT'S ALL YOU GON' GEEEET" before she yeets herself off a building.

Gotham City Sirens #9 - Pieces of the Puzzle

I love the detective noir style cover already but it just gets better when you turn the page and the scene continues - as if you're Nygma opening the office door and entering the room/ scene. 

Correctly deducing that the Sirens aren't here for tea and niceties,  he gets down to the thick of it. The Sirens have found a corpse,  or rather they have each witnessed the victim in varying stages of life and death.

Harley volunteers to give her recollection first so we get treated to an amazing run down of her day,  which begins with cartoons, exercise and keyboard battles then ends with a dead body smashing through their skylight and ruining Harley's swim.

Ivy had just got back from a job interview when she sees the body enter the pool. Selina on the other hand had been for a medical check-up post Hush then a quick spar with Wildcat. When she hands home via rooftop she sees the body fall from the sky - muttering "doctor..." - so she dives after her and ends up heading into the pool as well.

Nygma is equal parts exasperated with the Sirens and intrigued by the mystery so he resolves to check it out. At first glance it appears like the Sirens have attached the victim and left their trademarks on her body.  There is a vine around the neck but it's not one of Ivy's usual hybrids but a common plant.  The clown make up smeared on her face is cheap pharmacy brand stuff and not Harley's theatrical quality style. Claw marks that couldn't have come from Selina's gloves but rather a real animal.

Heroes in Crisis #4

Surprised this one wasn't "look ma, no hand!"

The punnage! The Dad Joke level of it all!

Wow.... murder is never the most glamorous of things - despite the whole noir/detective/spy gigs that keep popping up but good gravy does Harley look freaky here!
I turn the page and see Aquaman crying out in pain, grasping the mangled remains of his arm with his good hand and think 'aahhh, that's better.' Then I feel bad. But no tooo bad, because I'm pretty sure lil ol' Arthur got a gold hand to sob into afterwards.




Alright, first off - I love this scene. The mural, Donna casually carrying her drunk from mourning team mate, the graffiti credits, the lighting... it's just great.

We haven't really seen much of the Titans apart from... well... Wally. We do get to see Donna's confessional. Also... new outfit? I kinda like it... but I do miss the star cluster outfit with go go boots. 

She starts talking about the Troy that Helen and a few others made famous. 

At first you're like, okay, not everyone wants to talk about themselves, that's cool. But then you're like - she is. She's Donna TROY. She is still sore about DC screwing up her timeline and for the most part, her life. Clever way of saying so. Flash has a way with words too. 

Well... four letter words. 

Birds of Prey trailer released

You know why it's called a trailer? Because they're often linked to vehicles. As in.. my fears are becoming founded.. and Maggot Hurley is just erasing the entire awesome of Birds of Prey in favour of a Harley Quinn fame train because.. because she has Hollywood clout.. and likes herself too much I guess? I'm not linking it, if you wanna waste half a minute of your life then you can search for it.

The actual title of this movie is
Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn)

Well...... when a 34 second clip of a DC comics title Harley Quinn has literally nothing to do with shows about 25 seconds of Maggot Hurley swanning around acting drunk and trying to do the seductive lollipop thing but failing miserably... aaaand the ACTUAL Birds of Prey get squished into a couple of seconds with a hideous amount of quick shots - so quick you can barely tell what's going on and who anyone is. Plus, the titular Birds have to share this time with what's supposed to be the villains, I guess and then the whole 'fade to black/see you soon' thing.


So... that's really disappointing. Not gonna lie.

Besides, you can't just whip out a fantabulous word like you're a knock off Willy Wonka!
Girl, you're not even a second rate drag queen!

"Guess who went dumpster bin op-shopping again! .....MEEEE!!!!"

I remember reading something she said back when Suicide Squad was about to come out - something about how she read a couple of comics and just didn't 'get' the character. Man, this is becoming clearer and clearer each day. I mean, I GET wanting to make a 'new' version of a character for the big screen, I do. Lord knows everyone else freakin' has their own version of Harley Quinn. At the same time, if you're not going to even be true to a tiny bit of the character's origins... why bother?

Next it'll be an unfunny Joker, a Batman that shoots people and a Superman that doesn't care.
OH WAIT.

Heroes in Crisis #3

Well, I just read the Harley Quinn Christmas issue and boy am I struggling with it. Just... not ready to process that mess just yet. Time for some therapy! Let's head on back to the sanctuary....

This first cover looks cool and the second cover isn't the best but it does recall that awesome moment when Wonder Woman killed Maxwell Lord for being an absolute dick.

..... What? I'm on Wonder Woman's side. A dilemma that would have caused several other characters to drag out the decision was solved in a snap of his jerk neck. Something Batman could probably learn from to be honest. And we all know it wasn't a decision she made easily or wanted to do, but it was the only way to protect thousands from a mind - controlled, violent Superman.


Now feedback on this series so far has been a bit mixed, I've seen a lot of negative remarks about Harley Quinn being over powered - more on that later! - and concerns about delving into superhero psychology. Now sure, no-one wants to see their favourite heroes comatose out of anxieties but you can't also deny that the work they do would lead to some major anxieties.

So far I'm tentatively enjoying the series, especially with scenes like this.

Here's three heroes in varying degrees of stays in the Sanctuary. Lagoon Boy has been here the longest - he has physical reactions he doesn't expect and can't control - he tries to brag about being master of the lagoon but it's overshadowed by his nervousness.

Next is Wally West. He's only been here a few weeks so he's still full of brags about being the fastest man alive... even though there's like ten fastest men alive (not counting the women) and I picture all of these fast, fast men whispering to themselves that they're the fastest, just so they can sleep at night. It does enforce one thing though - keeping a speedster in one place for two and a half weeks is a feat.

Last is Booster Gold. Now, he's known for his ego even though he's more of a B-lister generally speaking, so his speech isn't out of place. It does provide a comparison to the others though.





Or does it?

Harley Quinn and Gossamer - The Looney Tunes special

I didn't even know this guy had a name. He's kinda like Sweetums, from the Muppets. You know who it is but they're not a main character.

Wait - why is this a thing? They just did the Hanna Barbera cross overs, plus Archie... What's the next cash grab tie in gonna be?

Anyway, the main cover for this cross over no one probably needed is it's usual Conner schlock (her arms are about as long as her legs and her eyes look frickin' weird) but the variant by Quinones?

I've told you guys I love the Quinones Quinn? He's even got her in the costume she wore in the 25th Anniversary special!

Both in scenes from the actual comic but the variant looks a lot more natural and fun.

Harley Quinn/Gossamer - a Hairy Predicament!
Aug 2018

Synopsis:

A violent storm leaves a large crate washed up on the beach at Coney Island. When Harley breaks it open to see what’s inside, she suddenly has a new playmate to add to her cast of friends-a large, furry, orange beast called Gossamer. It’s all fun and games until a giant robot attacks them. But who sent it? Harley immediately suspects only one man, but is it really The Joker behind this destructive rampage?


Now this special is still written by Amanda Conner and Jimmy Palmiotti because apparently when you leave a project you can't actually leave it. I wish they would. Every issue they write is pretty much a personal affront to me. Although if they hate me as much as I hate their bland world and shitty characters.. well it explains a lot. What a vicious cycle.

Some things I noticed about this issue.. it's not as outright shit as much of this duo's crap normally is. I suspect DC felt the heavy hand of Warner Brothers/Looney Tunes here. That said, it's still pretty weird. For one thing, the opening shot is Harley sitting on a Joker head inflatable. The second thing is Coney Island's beach actually has clear waters. I've never been there, but I've heard enough jabs about it to know it's not exactly paradise.

Then....

Yeah... see, this is why I'm not a fan of the whole ship with Poison Ivy. I won't go into a rant about how she's about as good as the Joker is when looking for a spouse but even this lobotomised version of Poison Ivy is just.. ugh.

Okay. If I wanted to read a comic about relationships I'd go and find a romcom or a good manga.
Strangers in Paradise, Ranma 1/2, Fruits Basket, Rachel Rising.... I could go on.
I don't crack open a supervillain comic to read about some asshole sighing wistfully, catching ordinary civilian trains, making phone calls and making sure their apartment is okay.

Countdown 51-40

Now that we've been going back into the Detective Comics showing Harley hanging out with Holly at the Amazon shelters, it's high time we went back and had a look at Countdown. Countdown was another multi-comic event spanning 52 weeks but good luck finding a good synopsis for that amongst the hits you'll get for the New 52 comics.

Back in the day, I pretty much just collected the issues that Harley Quinn appeared in, comprehensive storyline be damned! I ended up buying the trades though because I thought the story was pretty cool and there were some interesting things going on, and for once the holy DC Trinity wasn't hogging all the spotlight. Which is kind of the point of the 52 Countdown... but anyway.

May 2007 - April 2008
AKA Countdown to Final Crisis

Synopsis:

The Great Disaster has occurred, and all hell breaks loose as all the story lines in COUNTDOWN TO FINAL CRISIS come to a climax, threatening Darkseid and Jimmy Olsen and Mary Marvel and the future of their Earth!

So we'll dip our toes in, running through the series but mostly looking at Harley Quinn's involvement because... well, it's a Harley Quinn blog you nitwit. Get with the program. I'll do a couple of issues per post. 

This one opens with Darkseid discussing depressing world views with Desaad and playing chess with  himself, figures of DC characters and apparently no rules. Fun analogy or sneaky advertising for merchandise? You decide! 

The first chess piece he moves is Duela Dent - AKA The Joker's Daughter. Her story was a big part of what I found interesting about this series and another reason why I was so disappointed with what the actual New 52 chose to do with her character. 

Here she is, appearing in 'flames' and honing in on her target, a young celebrity. After jumping out the window amidst explosions she tells Tracey to call her manager in order to fund Duela with some nonsequential greens or else she might just drop Tracey as they parachute over the city. 

Duela is cool, collected and slightly sassy. Jason Todd/Red Hood shoots a hole in her parachute and she has no hesitations about dropping Tracey to lighten the load but at least she does it politely. 

Naturally Jason stops her and saves Tracey. They get into a discussion about who belongs where in the grand scheme of things and how cool foreshadowing is, then Duela name drops some people before running off. 

Meanwhile we pop into the hospital where a powerless Mary Batson nee Marvel is leaving. She finds out Billy Batson has paid her medical costs and left her a note saying not to find him, which I guess is like a health care one night stand, so she's a little cut. 

Heatwave is regretting not installing a peep hole in his door but lets Trickster in anyway. He suspects the pretzels are booby trapped so he destroys them but it was in fact the beer. So now there's no beer and no pretzels. Not a good start to a party. Plus Heatwave's pants are ruined!

Batman Ninja

Here's another version of Harley Quinn but set in feudal Japan as part of Batman: Ninja - an upcoming animated feature involving the Batman cast being transported to that era for some reason.
Actually, I keep reading that in the limited descriptions around but I'm not sure if the story is going to be ABOUT them all being sent to this Japan stage or if it's just an Elseworlds type story where Batman is established as a ninja already because that's who he is in this timeline.

Personally, I think it's going to be the latter and that would make for a much better story in my opinion but we'll see where they go with it.

There is super hype around a Harley Quinn/Catwoman fight but I can even look past the Catwoman obligatory ass shot because the fight looks amazing already!

They seem to have her doing her licky thing again though..

Between Maggot Robbie and New52 Harley Quinn, I feel like they're trying their best to be the whole VMA Miley Cyrus thing all over again. No one understood it then, no one likes it now.
STOP LICKING THINGS ALL THE TIME.

DCAU: Suicide Squad - Hell to Pay

First things first - this hasn't come out yet, but we already know it's going to be better than actual Suicide Squad. Time will tell if it's as good as Assault on Arkham. Speaking of... this new Suicide Squad animated movie won't be in the same.. "universe" .... so it's not a sequel.

Yeah, that's right. This Suicide Squad is DCAU while Assault on Arkham is technically more in the Arkham game universe. Which is why everyone looks different.

It's good because Deadshot is not built like a tank in the new one (which I always thought was stupid because he's the gun guy, the sniper... it wouldn't matter if he was skinny or short. Why can I fit two of me in AOA Deadshot's silhouette alone?? Why are his shoulders so far away from his neck?? How is he alive??) I don't like Killer Frost's redesign in HTP as much as her AOA one... it just doesn't seem to have any personality?
Boomerang is pretty much the same.. that's fine. Harley...

Oh Harley.

Harley looked amazing in AOA - even if her modified bodysuit revealed her most dangerous weapon - not the dirty-bomb mallet but the razor sharp bony ass hips she had - and she was blatantly used as a sex object for most of the movie (kinda like Maggot Robbie, but the animated version at least had a character arc and some decent lines!) 

This HTP Harley looks kinda hideous, face wise. You guys already know that I think the blue/pink eye shadow is a terrible costume choice. At least she has face paint on her original flesh tone body, not the Joker dip dye, I guess. It just seems weird that she's wearing evening gloves and matching thigh high stockings.. with generic Daisy Duke jeans and hipster sneakers? 

Ame-Comi Batgirl #1-3

Probably the first batch of comics based off statues of DC's women, followed closely by Bombshells and Gotham City Garage. When this first came out, I was so hyped about it because I love stories about women, anime, and Harley Quinn. What could go wrong?

Well, a lot of things. The story didn't exactly grab me, the art varied from issue to issue and for the most part, the characters never really seemed to mesh well together. Don't get me wrong, some did but it just read like someone had literally stuck all these characters together but didn't exactly figure out WHY they should be co-existing apart from NEW STATUES NEED TIE IN MERCHANDISE.

The other thing I need to mention is that pretty much the entire run was written by Jimmy Palmiotti and Justin Gray. Justin Gray has written a bunch of stuff for DC, mostly hand in hand with Palmiotti and Conner which brings me to the problem. I personally feel Palmiotti is a terrible writer.
His work is all the same, usually overstuffed with useless characters who are either bland or stereotypes of something and he's not funny.

Now, when I first read this series this name meant nothing to me but if you've read this blog at all you've probably read me cursing his name at least once for bringing such an obnoxious Hardly Quinn to life in her ridiculous solo. Of course, now I recognise the name it's easy to understand why I abandoned this series so early.

Mr Gray I have no opinion of apart from not minding the Catwoman Convergence and tossing aside the Power Girl/Harley Quinn nonsense. That and I honestly think he has sold his soul to Palmiotti because there is something else going on here. Maybe we should see if he's okay.

Harley Quinn 25th Anniversary Special

I figured I've worked up enough inner strength to actually put myself through this issue. I'm sure it's probably not all that bad, seeing as how the Conner/Palmiotti cliche machine hasn't written all of this book. It still means there's going to be a lot of people involved and each will likely have their own interpretation of what it is to be Harley Quinn and DC won't care about continuity because hey, they're DC. It's kind of what they do. Or don't do.

.....You know what I mean.


Anyway - in my opinion the second cover should have replaced the main cover - not just because it's the Dodson's and their beautiful classic Harley Quinn art but because it looks more like something she'd do. It ties into her circus theme and she's surrounded by toys of her criminal counterparts. The main cover is just some asshole ruining a cake and like a sad high school football player hanging onto their former glory... refuses to take off the sports gear.

Seriously though... that's a huge cake. And you're rendered it inedible by putting your various pasty body parts in it and letting your dog run around in it. Youuuu make me sick, Hardly Quinn.


Then we have this cover to make sure ALL variants of Harley have an equal chance to make money. Now this cover is fine, I guess, but at least the other two have the idea that there's some sort of celebration going on.

Here it's like she couldn't be more depressed while trying to be a bad ass. Yay, Harley's a sharp shooter instead of messing around with pop-guns! And for some reason has a cat head on a belt.. because she's... a Harley Quinn! Yeah!
Oh and they recycled that idiotic shirt from the movie. Ugh.

This page is like some rough draft of a Suicide Squad cover that Jim Lee already had available and he just said 'here ya go, I made this special for this comic.'

I have to assume this was followed up by a maniacal laugh and hand rubbing/beard stroking.

Gotham City Sirens #5

Out of the Paest
Dec 09

Can I just say how awesome this cover is? My only quibble is Harley's twisty ass and tits torso and what one of my old work friends used to call 'mono-boob'. I think you could put a pencil under one side, and lift the entire set equally. It's a disturbing notion, yet somewhat tempting. Hmm.
Apart from that though, the dynamic background, the nice work with the shadows and lighting effects, the sweet cane pose and the pop gun... it's just a nice cover.



Anyway, where we last left of in Sirens, a horrifying Joker car-drone had just driven into their hideout and exploded. Selina and Ivy are alarmed by the sudden appearance of fire while dear Harley Quinn - ever on the ball - simply gets peeved that Joker didn't try to finish them off with a funnier gag.

Ivy - a woman of entirely plant parts and wavy hair - leaps dramatically from the fire, into the frying pan. Which is also very much on fire. She quickly grows and then sacrifices one of her budding cacti which is enough to extinguish the fire but can't avoid creating another kind of damage.

Needless to say, the other Sirens aren't exactly pleased with
Harley's dismissive and unhelpful attitude.









They decide enough is enough, this Joker's gotta go. Harley, true to form - doesn't seem to want him dead and offers anything apart from that - plant shopping trips, getting a restraining order...
Finally Ivy gets through to her by telling her what she wants to hear and then smacking her in the face with reality.

Nerdy Investigations: New 52 Harley Quinn

Earlier in a New52 Suicide Squad post, I asked myself what made writer Adam Glass change Harley Quinn so much when I remember him saying he was such a fan. In comic terms, this revamp may as well have been a few decades ago instead of back in 2011 but hey.

I decided to do some digging to try and find the interview I was recalling. 

We're not just going to focus on the outfit but mind you.. you have to point out what an extreme change she went through with her duds alone,  never mind her personality. 

For one thing, she went from a harlequinn to someone whose only visual cue that they were linked to clowns at one time was the ruffle collar and her kind of two toned theme with some diamonds sprinkled around. And even those are pushing it. For someone unfamiliar with the premise of Harley Quinn, she could be a renaissance era hooker or something. It's like someone asked Jim Lee to draw a Harley Quinn revamp and he only heard the word 'harlot'. 

Alright, sex worker jokes and slut shaming is not the way I want to go about this. So, let's compare two other revamps to how Harley Quinn was re-imagined.

So there was this one time when someone thought this was an awesome idea for Superman.

Everyone hated it, and he was soon back to fighting evil in his underoos which is more iconic and makes more money for DC.

With the Harley costume hate, DC decided it was better to keep it and ride the gravy train of publicity.









The other one I want to bring up is Catman. I was only introduced to Catman in Gail Simone's fantabulous Secret Six series. Originally created way back in 1963, he was a cat themed villain (duh) much like Catwoman and often got into scrapes with her as well as the Bat.

Eventually, he became a bit of a joke - that he was nothing like his old self but rather out of shape, dying his hair to make him look more bad-ass, all that jazz. This was in 2003 in a Green Arrow comic.

Then Gail Simone stepped in in 2005.

Porn Parody - Harley Quinn and the Suicide Squad

It's a fact and a law - if it exists, you can find porn for it.
There's another factor in here as well... and that's if it makes money, there's probably a porn parody out there.

Is this a bad thing? No, I don't think so. Obviously adult entertainers have to make bread, parodies are usually worth a watch.. hell, I prefer musical parody acts like Weird Al and Youtube based group The Key of Awesome to most of the original songs they're copying.

This above image has been a popular meme and for good reason - you wouldn't expect the adult entertainment version to look more like the original than the Hollywood version, but here we get that. It makes sense, because obviously in the adult version they're selling a fantasy.. but.. isn't that what the movie industry version is for as well? 

Don't they market to us with sex appeal and power fantasies? Especially in superhero themed products? If so.. how did they drop the ball so hard with Suicide Squad's costuming?

While porn 'stories' are often ridiculed for their cheesy or contrived plot lines that always culminate in sex.. you have to think.. is the original material they're doing any different really.. except maybe more censored?

Said no one ever

So let's check out the Axel Braun porn parody of Suicide Squad - and how it compares to the failed movie Suicide Squad by a different jerk off. Ironically.