Harley Quinn: fake news and rant about Screenrant

 So - spoiler alert - ScreenRant isn't exactly the headquarters of factual information but they do a lot of clickbait and are allllways at the top of any search for general pop culturey stuff, which I know because I make an effort to avoid clicking on their articles. Today though, they got me. 

I was curious about the tattoo on Harley's back so I read this article by a Thomas Bacon (1/9/2020) in which he states it says property of no-one, which is a throwback to her 'property of Joker' jacket from the first Suicide Squad movie. While I wish we could see this relationship actually play out on the silver screen, Mr. Bacon portrays these tattoos like they're a full relationship run-down and all we need to know. 

But attentive viewers will have noticed a subtle change in Harley Quinn; specifically, her tattoos. Most of these were supposed to have been made by Harley herself, while she was languishing in prison, bored out of her mind. But there are a couple of exceptions, ones in places even the uber-flexible Harley couldn't reach. And all of these conveyed a sense of ownership, suggesting the Joker had branded Harley. One on Harley Quinn's back literally identifies her as "property of Joker." It's easy to miss, but this has actually changed in the behind-the-scenes footage from The Suicide Squad, suggesting Harley has had someone paid to alter the tat. It now reads, "property of no one.
It's a subtle detail, but a great visual way of reminding viewers of Harley's character arc. It suggests Harley Quinn is following the same journey she did in the comics, where she learns to define herself as an individual rather than by her relationships. While she no doubt won't stay single - Birds of Prey subtly set up the romance between Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy - she will never again allow herself to be drawn into the kind of unhealthy, obsessive and abusive relationship she had with the Joker.
All this means Harley Quinn is more than a Joker abuse victim. Rather, she is recovering from her time with the Clown Prince of Crime, getting on with her life, and in so doing presenting a brilliant example to viewers. Superhero franchises rarely explore this theme, tending to show healthy relationships and present idealised views of love and romance. But Harley Quinn is far more real, meaning she has one of the best arcs in the DCEU to date. This tattoo confirms that arc will continue in James Gunn's The Suicide Squad.

I was curious about the 'subtly set up romance' thing because if there's one thing DC doesn't do well in it's films it's.... ok, well, one thing among many is that they ain't subtle. 

The link is in the paragraph if you wish to read it yourself but be warned, it's nothing to do with the movie Birds of Prey.

DC Universe: Harley Quinn #60

Holy crap, this issue only has one cover that I can tell! I don't
actually know what to do with myself..
There is so much confusion in my life right now and I honestly don't know what's real or not. Is up down, and vice versa? Is there a spoon? Is the world actually flat but not as bad ass as Discworld?

No, wait, I lied. Or rather, I was misled. There is a second cover where a fancy Harley contemplates killing a bat. I don't see why you would go to the trouble of dressing up like that and then keeping your normal hair style. Right? Keep it period appropriate.



Ohhhh... I see what happened here.... Harley's variant got kicked off of the digital copy I had to make room for Shazam! movie advertising. I still haven't seen that yet. Oh well. The ordinary cover's fine.. I guess. Nothing to write home about, it's not even a good parody of an overblown action movie because I'm sure I've seen at least ten other covers in her solo series just like this. Plus we're back with another speech bubble "pun". Like, it's too generic and so far over into 'Not Trying Land' ... why should we care?
Also Harley's ribs are visible through and over her tube top. That's... probably not good.

In fact, this whole issue is an up and down mixed bag of something. It constantly brings in a cool concept with the benefit of nice art, but then keeps dragging itself down with the terminal stupid and a bad case of the 'whatever, this is good enough to churn out an issue with'.

Starting off with a alien/horror movie setting jumping on from the ten seconds we saw of S.T.A.R. labs Coney freakin' Island last time. She's freaking out saying she's trapped and being hunted.. everything's dark and she's alone. This is good, it's a great set up and it makes you wonder how she got in this situation. It makes you wonder what she's going to encounter. It makes you wonder if this is real because Harley's being unusually sombre.

Then you realise that she's probably only in this situation so her fancy alien ray guns can match her stupid hair colour.

Then you get told this is what she's doing and why she's in this mess.

"Hi, it's me, Harley! Trying to be Deadpool by breaking that fourth wall! LOL!! Totally changed since the old stupid classic version of me but I'm still doing crimes! For my mom! Who has cancer! Haven't mentioned that in a while! You know my mom has cancer. Cancer mom!
Yeah, remember how she's already being treated by competent doctors? And how she tells me not to do anything stupid?? Lulz here I am breaking in to find some random magical cure I just invented in my head because there's no proof such a thing exists in this place! Or even if this building existed prior to today! So random!@! Rawr!!"

Porn Parody - Digital Playground's Suicide Squad

I have dipped my toe in, why not get the whole foot wet?
Uhh... that's supposed to be a pool analogy... maybe it doesn't work the best with a porn review.

Yes, I reviewed the other major one - Axel Braun's  version so now it's Digital Playground's turn.

This one stars Aria Alexander as Harley and Isiah Maxwell as Deadshot.

Now right off the bat - tee hee - you can tell this one is basically a vehicle for the Harley Quinn actress - Aria Alexander. The intro credits - even though very small, only show stylised images of Harley and hardly mentions a squad. There's the briefest of plots thrown our way as well... something about Lex Luthor in Gotham? It's not impossible.. but you know he's a Superman villain in Metropolis, right? Guys?

So we open with just Harley and Deadshot (like, there's REALLY no Squad at all, huh?) and first off I have an issue with Deadshot's headpiece.

My what a big... eyepiece... you have. Ain't that thing heavy? Harley's wig is not the best either. It's not the worst of the worst (Suicide Squad joke, anyone?) but every now and then you see the fake looking super shiny blonde-ness, or when she goes to flip her pigtail over her shoulder and the whole freaking thing shifts dramatically.

Perhaps I should mention that this thing is just over half an hour. So, what is the story?

DC Universe Harley Quinn #53

Well again with the serial comic posting.. I feel like every time I'm on here I'm looking at these instead of reviewing anything else Harley Related. This issue though..

I was actually enjoying the last two issues but this one is something else, but like, not in a good way.

First cover gives a good indication of what the story's about but I think it could have done without the speech bubble. Get it? What's better than seeing your parents naked or letting out a small fart? Why, increasing your chances of getting shot by playing Russian Roulette! Second cover... looks really familiar. Wasn't there already a cover out very similar to this? Running out of ideas, mayhaps?




Alright so it kicks off in some random school room where everyone stops everything because some kid's phone goes off. Teacher confiscates it but there's an outcry.

Yeah! It could be something important, like the kid's parents calling in an emergency, teach! Don't be so uncool! .....Oh no, wait, it's just some jerk off live-streaming.

The Ten Worst Things Harley Quinn Has Ever Done!

On a similar note to the "Top Ten Worst Things That Happened To Harley Quinn" post, this time I'm going to have a look at "The Ten Worst Things Harley Quinn Has Ever Done!"

The title is unfortunate, I would have removed the 'Ever' part of it, seeing as how this video was posted back in April 2017, and the poster clearly underestimates how badly Harley can be written.
There are a lot of similar videos and posts out there too.

Let's get stuck in, shall we?

Top 10 Worst Things that Happened to Harley Quinn

Today I gave in to the click bait and watched this WatchMojo.com video titled "Top 10 Worst Things that Happened to Harley Quinn" so I thought I'd go through it here to see what it was all about, what I agree with, what I don't and what I thought overall.

After all, there are so many different versions of Harley Quinn and they've each had different experiences.. Is it going to be fair? Is it going to be mostly classic Harley, or newer Harley? Are video game versions excluded? What about TV and movies?

Let's dig in.

Woe at the Comic Store

So today I went into a comic store with my husband and it was very surreal.

For one thing, he bought several comics... I only got two. Usually I have the most, and he gets one or two. So what happened? Well.....Nothing else appealed to me in that store. What the hell, right?

I did see a couple of annoying things though.

A while ago, Gotham City Sirens was re-released with new covers. That's fine, a lot of series do that. However, I saw an omnibus today and this is what it looked like.

Harley Quinn and the Gotham City Sirens. 

Yeah, I shit you not. If that's not the most blatant cash grab combined with complete lack of understanding of the comic... I don't know what is.

I mean, she's on all of the covers anyway... was it not clear who this trio was comprised of??

How gracious of Harley Quinn - the clear leader of this trio - to allow some 'minor villains of lesser fame' to join her on her adventures! Or rather, use her name to boost sales. Bloody hell, is this how sad we're getting, DC? Just slap Harley's name on anything and it's good to go, right? Especially with Maggot Robbie running around trying to ruin that series AND Birds of Prey at the same time!

I thought Gotham City Sirens did a great job of making sure each character had enough screen time and had everybody play to their strengths and even their character flaws. Hell, Selina being the 'main' ish character and the one who brought them all together.. you'd think she'd be the one in focus but no, everything was equal.

Well, that's what I thought anyway, but apparently I just read another 'Harley Quinn and her bitches' book entirely wrong.

Splat! Promotional Comic: Suicide Blonde - The Suicide Squad prequel

2016
Writer: Tony Bedard
Pencils: Tom Derenick
Inks: Juan Albarran

So here's a review of a promotional comic that DC did alongside Splat!. Splat! is a hair dye brand. Seems like a match made in heaven given Harley's recent.. infatuation with.. changing her hair colour every five minutes. I recall Splat! advertisements in some of my older comics so they've probably been close to the superhero and pop culture scene for a while.

Let's have a look.

Urrrrggggghhh. First page is a full spread of Harley Quinn in her cell at Belle Reve. Do you remember the trailers for Suicide Squad, and the scenes in the movie where she does her little acrobatic act half naked before she gets all Miley Cyrus with licking things, then she head butts her cell because she's frustrated about her sleeping conditions? Well here's more of that! And still no-one questioning why she's essentially making a noose in her cell and giving herself dodgy prison tatts.

Waller comes past and she forces Harley to reminisce on being outside, in the fresh air and sunlight... so, money on the table, I'm shocked didn't include Harley receiving sunburn harder than any given ginger. Oh, my apologies she said nightlife.

I first looked at this and I was like.. what the hell is this? Then I remembered, Suicide Squad Harley Quinn and Joker are #relationshipgoals! Yeah! The one thing I wish my relationships had more of are stereotypical conversations about the girl not being ready fast enough while the girl imagines how a red drape would work on her as a dress. Then the boy can stand around and front about being so gangsta while constantly checking his watch. Yes... relationship goals. Sure..

See, that's the thing about the whole 'gangsta' Joker - he has to have a moll and be seen on the social scene instead of being the classic villain we know that just goes out and does crime that he's planned out meticulously or perhaps made up on the fly because he thought of something funny...
he wouldn't really care if Harley was there or not.

DC You - Batman: Prelude to the Wedding.. Harley Quinn vs Joker

Well naturally, Marvel just had the last few weddings of the century so here's DC's attempt at competing again.

June 2018
Till Death Do Us Part
Writer: Tim Seeley
Artist: Sami Basri
Colours: Jessica Kholinne
Cover: Rafael Albuqueque

Synopsis:

Harley Quinn knows a thing or two about dysfunctional relationships. When she hears that her old flame is trying to get in the way of a happy new life for one of her best friends, the Maid of Mischief tracks The Joker down to give him a piece of her mind-and maybe a few blows from her hammer, too.

Does anyone remember the first time Catwoman got all dolled up in a wedding dress? I remember the first times I saw her in one and it was well before the Cat and the Bat romance got off the ground. 

True, this one wasn't real but it was awesome seeing a mix of villains and heroes at the ceremony and then fighting over the bouquet.. then Catwoman realising that Batman wasn't ever going to truly run away with her while crime exists in Gotham and woke up pissed.

This one was an attempted wedding, where someone tried to domesticate Catwoman and she put a damn stop to it you betcha bucko. 

Oh, I miss how she used to call people bucko. 

As a young girl I would look at these and have no doubt that this was how my wedding would be. Now I AM married I'm glad it didn't. It's a shame I couldn't rock a catsuit under my shredded dress but I feel that a rogue bunch of commandos scaling the cathedral and shooting it up would have put the whole night out of my budget for sure. 

Anyway, now we're milking the Catwoman and Batman semi-romance for all it's worth and that means finding some way to tie in Harley Quinn and Joker.

DC Universe Harley Quinn 41

It's been a while since I checked out the recent Hardly Quinn. I've been so disappointed with DC comics lately that I just haven't been able to muster the strength to crack open a comic.
Especially since someone saw my classic Harley Quinn mug at work and asked me who it was.
I said this is Harley Quinn and they said oh, like Maggot Robbie?

No. Not like her. This one was funny and talented, not a useless, unfunny, looking like something the cat dragged out of Blondie's reject wardrobe, drugged out gangster ho, the butt-less wonder.
I could go on. The only compliment I can give Maggot Robbie is that her agent gets her juuust enough gigs that she doesn't have to rely on T&A.. which is good, seeing as she hasn't got any but gets her kit off regardless. Sigh.

Remember Harley Quinn? The character DC forgot how to write and just turned her into whatever the Tumblr generation thinks is cool at the moment?

Which brings me to this review. I've had a stressful week, and I want to take it out on something so here's my review on this month's crappy Hardly Quinn.


As usual, the Frank Cho cover greatly outshines the generic thug who eats pizza in weird outfits cover.
I shouldn't have to explain why I think this but good gravy the basic cover has Hardly so... POINTY.


How does she cross her legs without giving herself discount surgery?

 Discount bargain basement Barbie barbarian.





Oh, and this is the first advert they show.

Team Wisdom? That suits her about as much as 'Entropy' suits Batman. Geeez.

From Polygon:

And since he knows their enemy best, Braniac’s in charge of all the team rosters.

That’s a narrative hook that allows Justice League: No Justice’s creative team to indulge in some serious comic book “moneyball,” as Snyder calls it. There’s team Mystery, consisting of Superman, the Martian Manhunter, Starfire, and major villains Starro and Sinestro; team Entropy, including billionaires Batman and Lex Luthor, the assassin Deathstroke, the alien bruiser Lobo and the Teen Titans’ Beast Boy; team Magic, consisting of the mystical heroes Wonder Woman, Doctor Fate, Zatanna, Raven and Etrigan the Demon; and finally, team Wisdom, made up of the Flash, Damian Wayne (Robin), the Atom, Cyborg and, implausibly, Harley Quinn.

Truth be told, I found Dark Knights: Metal kinda lame and basically just skimmed it so sure, maybe Hardly Quinn is on team Wisdom because it's a plant eating entity and not because she's (or this Hardly at least) is anywhere near the smarts of Cyborg, Flash, Robin and Atom. 

Which is annoying because she could be, but she's not there for the empowerment, she's there because she fits the quota of 'at least one girl per team' and she's the resident cash cow. Yuck. 

So, probably won't be checking this out any time soon. The art looks nice, but the colour schemes stink of that time they decided to make literally everyone a lantern of some kind.

Suicide Squad New52: #14

Where we last left off, Deadshot shot himself dead.. oh hey look at that.
**laughs for ten minutes complete with knee slapping and near choking**
H'oh boy. That was good. Aaaahh... I needed that before I get into....

"Running with the devil" Jan 2013

Yeah anyway, that happened so now we have another tie in comic! This time it's for Death of the Family - a Joker-centric cross over instead of just Resurrection Man (which I still haven't read, I really hope it keeps the editors awake at night!!)

By the power of greyscale!

Yikes. That's so not right. 

The cover is standard for this event, obviously with different faces depending on which comic you read. It really bothers me how Harley seems to have a more greeny-teal colour to her eyes and a friggin' Glasgow and or Chelsea smile. Also no neck. Good luck eating anything, you clown.

Anyway, somehow the Squad is allowed out of their cells to attend a funeral for Deadshot. I see his family isn't present though. It couldn't have been too short notice though because Harley's had time to go shopping for a funeral corset. Between that and the fact that the angel looks an awful lot like Adam of He-Man fame.. I sure don't know what to make of this funeral.

I mean, damn! I love to dabble in buckles and fishnets but that outfit is the kind of thing super Goths would look at and say whoa man, don't you think you should tone it down a little?
Where would she even FIND that? Did she make it? If so, good gravy why? Where's her belly button? Was her make-up shithouse and runny before she started crying? Why does Harley Quinn wear inappropriate attire to every funeral she attends since the whole New52 thing started?

Predictably - every graveside visit must be followed by rain. This time, it's green rain. Ooh, I wonder what THAT means? A low rent rip off of The Last Laugh? A 'surprise' cameo that no one will be surprised about? Terrible characterisation between Joker and Harley? All of the above?

Yep.

Clown thugs get fatter, Joker gets skinnier. 

DCAU: Suicide Squad - Hell to Pay

First things first - this hasn't come out yet, but we already know it's going to be better than actual Suicide Squad. Time will tell if it's as good as Assault on Arkham. Speaking of... this new Suicide Squad animated movie won't be in the same.. "universe" .... so it's not a sequel.

Yeah, that's right. This Suicide Squad is DCAU while Assault on Arkham is technically more in the Arkham game universe. Which is why everyone looks different.

It's good because Deadshot is not built like a tank in the new one (which I always thought was stupid because he's the gun guy, the sniper... it wouldn't matter if he was skinny or short. Why can I fit two of me in AOA Deadshot's silhouette alone?? Why are his shoulders so far away from his neck?? How is he alive??) I don't like Killer Frost's redesign in HTP as much as her AOA one... it just doesn't seem to have any personality?
Boomerang is pretty much the same.. that's fine. Harley...

Oh Harley.

Harley looked amazing in AOA - even if her modified bodysuit revealed her most dangerous weapon - not the dirty-bomb mallet but the razor sharp bony ass hips she had - and she was blatantly used as a sex object for most of the movie (kinda like Maggot Robbie, but the animated version at least had a character arc and some decent lines!) 

This HTP Harley looks kinda hideous, face wise. You guys already know that I think the blue/pink eye shadow is a terrible costume choice. At least she has face paint on her original flesh tone body, not the Joker dip dye, I guess. It just seems weird that she's wearing evening gloves and matching thigh high stockings.. with generic Daisy Duke jeans and hipster sneakers? 

Suicide Squad New52 #10

Judas Rising Aug 2012

Welp, back to the... 'interesting' cover art. It looks like everyone has been sculpted out of lard or jelly. There are so many lines that Jim Lee's probably salivating into his art supplies...
Harley's boobs... yeah bigger than her head. Her pants are up higher than my daggy high school teacher's trousers, she's lost her eyeballs and muscular thighs have suddenly appeared where she's usually had twigs.

King Shark - as usual - is ten times his usual size on the cover. I know El Diablo's in perspective but the way he's drawn looks like he's stuffed his crotch. Iceberg is doing some sort of super jump ballet pose that makes it look like he has no butt whatsoever and Deadshot is a pure after thought. I also don't know what's going on with Harley's judo chop pose.

 Now the first interior art page, I like. Well, the colours anyway. Waller has one giant hand and it doesn't look like her legs are long enough. Meanwhile - Dr. Visyak I presume? She has a fancy hand pose on the right but her left hand... mmm, let's just say it leave a little to be desired. Like, keeping that freaky lefty away from me at all times. Yikes.

Also Deadshot's bitching, AGAIN. Waah waah waah Waller won't tell me every single detail about this misson but whenever she does I just bitch to her face about it waah waah waah. What a sook.
He should be on that toddler page about hilarious reasons why my toddler is crying.

I'm told again by the editor to read Resurrection Man #9. I'm not going to and it wouldn't matter anyway. I'm sure like all the other issues of Suicide Squad it wouldn't explain what they're doing in an elevator shaft or what the mission is that they're either just starting or halfway through.




Deadshot is clearly first in the elevator shaft. Then when it's revealed that Harley Quinn - alive and well is standing in the building they're infiltrating (?) he's the last to exit. Harley does that "Hello, boys..." trope that I hate so much.

Deadshot bitches about this too in case you were wondering. Harley goes all Miley Cyrus on him for some disgusting reason. Then when he throws her away, like a lot of Hannah Montana fans, Harley suddenly has hands that are massively long and spindly, and wide compared to her stick like forearms. Wait, what happened to all the backgrounds here? Did this elevator shaft lead into a colour changing lava-lamp?

Harley Quinn: Monarchs

There are two things here - either this is happening or it's not.

At first when I saw the headline for Swiss actress Lara Pictet to play Harley Quinn in a web series named Monarchs I was like cool, it's not Margot Robbie and this one's actually pretty. Again, still don't get the hype over Margot's looks. Maybe people like that but to me, she's just another Hollywood blonde but with squinty eyes and a penchant for ruining my favourite characters and flashing her (word here used generously) bits.

Honestly, people hack into celebrities personal photos and release sensitive ones - you know, illegally, and they are forced to defend themselves for their private actions/called sluts or worse. Then on the other hand, we have Kim Kartrashian and Maggot Robbie making a living off showing their nekkid selves and no one has an issue? Smells wrong.

ANYWAY - there's not much about this series but some pages say it's a new web series that is DC inspired and they're hoping DC will pick it up officially.


The concept of the show is basically a 'how this person became this villain' origin stories series.




Here's what some interviewers have posted about it - nothing official from DC yet.