Justice League vs Suicide Squad #2

Cover shows us the new team teased at the end of issue one.
They all seem like lesser known people with Lobo planted right and centre to garner some interest.


Variants aren't that exciting. Oh wait, talk about your versus battles, it's my favourite Harley Quinn solo team versus the my loathed Harley Quinn solo team!
Isn't it funny how both of them do the same thing but one is just instinctively more crap?

Both cover sequences take place in the same empty void apparently. Did the industry run out of background artists?

So, Conner has Enchantress striking a ditzy pose, she's upset and looking like she gotta pee but has to stop Ballerina Superman from bro-fisting her first. Her feet are clearly on the floor but there's no floor there, and it's not exactly Superman's style to freakin' plow drive opponents into the ground unless they're like Doomsday or something. In fact, knowing his weakness to magic, why would he engage in close quarters combat instead of trying to take her out from a distance with like freeze breath or something? Only compliment I can really give this cover is that Enchantress' outfit looks okay.

The Dodson's take has Enchantress at least looking like she's about to strike at Superman, she looks controlled and calm, Superman on the other hand looks cautious, like he's not sure about engaging this magic user. Dodson's do capes so much better... they actually look like real fabric, interacting with the wind in this featureless void..... I like that Enchantress has occult symbols appearing with her magic. Only critique would be that Superman's either really bendy or he's missing a leg.

Right, so the actual comic. Turns out, Waller has a perfect view of the money shot here on this random island. I think there are only like, five characters with their feet on the ground here.
They're all actually fighting and have all paired off.

Also Waller has injured her best pointing finger somehow.

Perspective... that ain't it, Chief. 

Harley Quinn & Poison Ivy #1

Here it is.

Honestly I wasn't sure what to expect from this comic because the previous taglines were all "Harley and Ivy explore their relationship post Sanctuary" - which can mean a lot of things but my first thought was "pleasedon'tbelikethepalmiottoconnerharleyivyrelationshippleasepleaseplease" because there is no faster buzzkill than my two of my favourite fictional criminals sitting around calling each other pet names, talking about feelings and scheduling spa dates.

Also, the first promo didn't grab my eye.. I wasn't keen on Ivy's 'green variant of female titan' look, and the angle for Harley wasn't especially flattering, and I wasn't excited about the predictable antagonist... although I did like the direct approach of it by having them dance around a map literally between their destinations. The cover they used appeals to me so much more.. although I question why it matters to watch the road when everything's on fire but that's just me.

As you may have guessed, there are quite a few variants so we'll go through them at the end so as not to take up the entire review.


So, what's it all about, really?

Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy are taking their show on the road in this new miniseries! They’ll have to evade villains and heroes alike while they explore their relationship and unpack their time and experiences at Sanctuary. Set after the events of HEROES IN CRISIS and smack in the middle of “Year of the Villain,” it’s a journey across the DC Universe that will change their friendship forever... if they live that long!

"Pushing Daisies"

Sept 2019

Writer: Jody Houser

Pencils: Adriana Melo

Inks: Mark Morales
Colours: Hi-Fi

Cover: Mikel Janin

Okay... so it's a mini-series capitalising off the name of a prior popular series smack bang in the middle of two events? Wow, I'm cynical. Let's check it out. 

Batgirl #18 'O, Harley Night!'

Judging by the snow and the red and green coloured title, it's already going to be an American Christmas. Why did I specify that? Because I'm English, but now live in Australia.. where the concept of it snowing at Christmas, which is generally the meltiest time of the year but it's because the heat soars higher than any sleigh, and the drops falling are just filthy sweat... not snow.

There is a reason why we amend our Santas to look like this;

for if we don't... THEY SUFFER FROM OVERHEATING. 

So the general or popular opinion that you have to be buried in ten feet of snow for it to be actually Christmas gets a bit grating at times but yeah, sure, it's set in American and it's comics so sure. Ok.

But of course - our Harley is still running around wearing her usual outfit and ... a scarf?
Like - OH NO, It's cold! Better wear a scarf with fluffy boots and not like... do my jacket up or.. heaven forbid, wear pants or something covering my midriff!

She also adds purple and green leggings to her already horrible mish mash of red/black/pink/blue. Why? Who knows. Also not a massive fan of the change of Batgirl costume. I know - I'm behind the times there and it does seem to suit her more youthful appeal but you just can't beat the classics.
Also, how did Harley beat Batgirl to the point where she's just casually looking up at this arse clown while her back is surely breaking? And that my friends, is a 'too soon' for me moment.

Variant cover is alright, Harley is channelling Joker in the face but it's still better than wearing a band-aid on her mug like in cover one. At least here she commits to the Christmas theme and goes full red and green - even though she's wearing booty shorts, at least her jumper is done up and she's wearing warm gloves. The jingle bell belt is nice and I approve of the pigtail fluffy scrunchies and the the British looking old school lamps in the snow, however it seems like Batgirl was drawn by a different artist? And why is her hair made of spray paint? Still, the little gift-bomb is a nice touch.

So - why is this happening?  Let's have a look.

DC Universe: Harley Quinn #61

Writer: Sam Humphries
Artist: Otto Schmidt
Cover: Guillem March and Arif Prianto
Variant: Frank Cho and Sabine Rich


I feel like with Stranger Things Season 3 coming out again, the
pop culture popularisation of D&D has risen up again, and none more so with this unnamed rip-off in Harley Quinn.

Which is fine - I'm not bagging the game out, I've never actually played it but kinda want to after Bender's Game and Community TBH - but it's hard enough getting people together these days to play a simple board game let alone have them sit down and be tormented with my overzealous imagination for possibly hours on end.

My point being... I have a terrible feeling I know exactly whats's going to happen in this issue and how it's going to end without even reading it.

I also have terrible feelings about the cover.. Harley's head is straight on but one of her ears has begun to sink down? Why are her boobs misshapen? Has she got marbles on her collar? Her belts are higher than my ambition in life and her abs - so corpse-like - are deader looking than most of my dreams.
Things I do like - the medieval themed pop-gun, the hyenas and the diamond pattern tights.
Catwoman looks great, and I like her cat head emblem, but have no idea what's keeping it there when she's tipped over like that.

Variant cover... I feel like I've seen this almost exact picture of Harley before, but with a jack in the box. It's okay, but seems a bit lazy and predictable.

Alright, so my predictions are that Harley will either dream that she's in the game, or she will physically enter the game because it's one of her trials. Once there, she'll meet some bastardised versions of her Gotham friends, spout of a bunch of current baloney at them or otherwise fail to realise she's in a different world/universe/dimension so she will carry on like a porkchop, wonder why her modern conveniences or slang aren't known and emphatically deny that she's the crazy one.
She will pass her trial without actually learning anything and will probably hit a lot of things with a medieval weapon.

So, let's see how we go.

Comic opens on Harley and Tina visiting Selina - the premise is that they're here to help with her recent heartbreak (Batcat wedding) but in doing so, they basically ignore what Selina actually wants to do in lieu of playing a random game (Knights and Knavery?) that Harley got from some random demonic lady in a two second flashback that everyone seems to conveniently ignore.
Well, we're off to a great start.

Plus the art is playing loose and fast with both spaghetti bodies and dipping a toe into what looks like imitation/Americanised anime?
Not really sure how else to describe this but it looks ten times worse to have an elongated neon cat vampire Harley given the photo realistic Rosie the Riveter in the background and the gorgeous looking Catwoman.

......also..... is that Selina's Bat-plushie or did Harley bring that to 'cheer' up Selina, even though she shushes Tina from even mentioning the Bat later?

Retro Reviews: Harley Quinn #20 Wouldn't be Caught Dead There!

Last issue, our dominoed dame was the victim of an exploding, stolen jet-pak incident. The Dodson's cover is eye catching - just Harley falling, her terrified face looking back up as she drops into a black void.

July 2002

When this comic first came out, I admit that this story got me. I was like - wait... Harley's a comic character. She can't just die! What-what-what?!
Had only just become a fan, the comic had only recently started, the internet - well, it did exist in my life but certainly not to the extent it does now. Like, I was on MSN, Myspace, college sites and some fan sites for animated series. I didn't have the comic resources I do now. Back then, finding useful information about Harley Quinn on teh interwebs was about as rare as unicorn crap. Wow, there's a redundant comparison as these days unicorn crap is actively marketed and purchasable in mainstream stores.

I'm also a bit wiser about how often comic characters shuffle off their papery mortal coil only to mysteriously pop up again on the other side when it suits the writers. In saying that, I do quite like this afterlife special. Just like Harley herself, she doesn't follow the trend or do exactly what you'd expect of this kind of story, which makes for an interesting and unique run.

The actual story continues on from the cover, something I recently complimented in Gotham City Sirens, I just really enjoy the transition when done right. Really can't stand the overt, fourth wall breaking ones that somehow take you out of the experience.

Anyway, after a fairly rough landing onto her back, Harley stares up wide eyed as Lewis talks to her. Yes, THAT LEWIS. He warns her away from the windows because the police have a sniper outside. Harley is so overjoyed to see Lewis that she misses Nixon Two-Bear's snarky comment about how "She never missed him before." Ruh-oh.

BrazzersExtra - Riley Reid (Harley in the Nuthouse XXX Parody)

The irony of Harley being straight-jacketed in a padded cell while still wearing her killer stilettos is not lost on me.

She's also got a lot of make-up and hair product in. Like.. how long has she been in her cell? Is she not going to get like, a ton of zits and knots from this?


Movie takes about 2 minutes to warm up with some back story - a brief into to some new doctor being brought into Arkham Asylum but for the most part it's a glorified photo shoot for Harley.
Which is fine, but a lot of the shots are repeated and I don't mean they recycled the footage, I mean they reshot NEW footage of Riley doing what she had been doing before. Namely, biting at the camera, licking her lips and acting crazy while lights flicker and someone starts tunelessly humming a "la-la-la" song.

Again, is fine I guess. Even though she's hamming it up with a Hollywood version of fun-crazy, it's still more believable than Maggot's Suicide Squad Harley.

Did I mention I liked the name of the last one I watched? Yeah, this one's better. At first I wasn't impressed but then I was like.. did they just fetishise a crazy person while simultaneously making a male deposit joke about asylums? Niiiiiice.

New doctor warned about avoiding Harley's cell immediately goes to Harley's cell and goes inside.
I'm not even mad. This could be actual writing from a DC comic about their under-trained, easily duped doctors.

Once inside, new doctor is a bit more confident but then screen fades to black as apparently Harley fells him with her baseball bat... that she presumably hid in her hidey hole, retrieved and then used while she was still restrained?
Damn. Gotta work on my kegels before I let the team down apparently!!

Harley Quinn in DCeased - Issue 1

So this year's Marvel Zombies kicks off with... oh wait, this is DC. Hmm.
Well, I gotta say I approve of the name. Very good with branding. On point, even.
Still, can it live up to Marvel Zombies? Wait, it's not zombies but a plague? Oh, like Contagion! Yeah, that was an ace comic too.

Let's have a quick look at the synopsis...

“I looked, and there before me was a pale horse! It's rider was Death, and Hades was following close behind him.”-Revelation 6:8

A mysterious techno-virus has been released on Earth, infecting 600 million people and turning them instantly into violent, monstrous engines of destruction. The heroes of the DCU are caught completely unprepared for a pandemic of this magnitude and struggle to save their loved ones first…but what happens to the World’s Greatest Heroes if the world ends? New York Times best-selling writer Tom Taylor (INJUSTICE) returns with a terrifying new tale and is joined by artists Trevor Hairsine (LEGENDS OF THE DARK KNIGHT) and Stefano Gaudiano (The Walking Dead).

Wait... it's sort of plague zombies but technologically sparked then physically transmitted?

.................Is this like a smartphone STD public awareness campaign??
Greeeeaaaat, I'll just put it here besides the one for Herpes-Bathwater.







Opening up on the Justice League ganging up in the schoolyard to harass Darkseid. Scenes like this make me so thankful for Green Arrow.. like, he is such a welcome relief against the stark stone faces of the rest of the League. Ha! The Uncomfortable Interacting With Others and Emoting  League, more like. Wow, I could be a founding member!
Seriously though, it's why I was so disappointed with CW's Flash and Green Arrow. Maybe Flash was a bit more like his comic counterpart, but they were both going for the gritty Batman sort of serious hero, but the core part of their character is their cheerful, humorous and understanding, empathetic personality. I get they were trying to avoid going too camp, but when you have to introduce other characters as comic relief when you should be able to have your main character be that - it's not right. It's like how I feel, when Harley Quinn's first cinematic appearance is slugged with her trashy New52 persona instead of her actual personality.

Right, the other thing I wanted to talk about with these opening pages is the fact that every other Justice League comic seems to recycle the whole "OHMIGAWSH BATMAN IS KEEPING TABS ON US! SHOCK HORROR!" I'm not one to normalise this stalky behaviour but it's like.. did they never meet Batman before this? Like, he's openly told them before he has a contingency plan in case any of them go rogue... does this just constantly get retconned?

This is a core part of Batman's character and it's also very important to have someone on the team be prepared, because frankly no one else on the League is going to do it. Like, Flash and Superman and Wonder Woman would never think bad of their colleagues, but then again, how many times have the heroes been corrupted and used against the people they love or the people they've sworn to protect?
Who else is gonna stop a super powered time bomb? A paranoid loner smarty-pants Bat, that's who.